Out of Time
copyright 2014 Faeriemage
Time is a cruel mistress, especially if you start playing with her box of toys.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Regarding pop culture references in the first chapter…

Here is how I see the reference I made to Lois and Clark IE superman:

Comic book characters change, especially after a retcon. Storylines progress, and what was considered “canon” over time changes as well. Consider for a moment that there was a period of time where Clark Kent was a news-anchor on TV.

That being said, I predict four reasons why, over 30 years, there could be enough of a change that this wouldn’t be something ‘everyone’ knows.

Option 1: The comic book craze in TV and movies dies down in exchange for some other fringe media.

Option 2: Superman and Wonderwoman become the assumed pairing. The Lois character is phased out over the course of two retcons and then dropped entirely.

Option 3: They decide to add to their roster of gay superheroes and make Superman gay. Lois’ name is change to Lewis Lane who is still a reporter.

Option 4: They make Superman asexual, having no personal romantic relationships.

While the last one is unlikely, it is still possible.

---

“We can’t send him back,” Lois says in a furious whisper.

“We have to,” I reply, “this is our General Haynes. In order for nothing to change, he has to be part of the program for the next fourteen years of his life, which is the last fourteen years of our reality. Can you really imagine the damage just dropping him from the program would cause?”

We’ve moved to a nearby building. The sound of gunfire has receded a little, as have the thunderous footfalls of dinosaurs and other, less recognizable, creatures. If I hadn’t been sure that they were fantastical, I would have assumed that I saw a dragon appear in the air for a moment or two before plummeting to earth.

“But we’re...but he’s…” Lois begins, but is unable to formulate an accurate description. I can’t blame her. How do you describe something, without a lot of math, that just doesn’t make any sense to the rational mind.

“I can hear you,” the general calls from the other room. I walk out to join him, since our conversation is getting us nowhere.

“How much do you know about the theory of time travel, General?”

“Call me Chris…” He pauses as if waiting for me to return the favor. I don’t and he finally continues with a sigh. “Well, apparently not as much as I thought, since what I’ve already seen here shouldn’t be possible.”

“What did the device that you used to get back here look like?”

“It was a platform in the mojave desert. We thought that...I thought that putting it out there would keep it away from not only prying eyes, but keep it from adversely affecting the surrounding area. Same with this pit of a base. The walls rising all around it channel the energy…”

I smile as he comes to the same conclusion I did earlier.

“The energy waves are rebounding from the rock and multiplying, aren’t they. Like bad acoustics in a concert hall. It goes from music to noise in a fraction of a second.”

“Yes, and unlike sound waves, chroniton waves propagate in four dimensions instead of only three.”

“Wait...that means...what have I done? I only planned…”

There is a sudden sinking feeling in my gut.

“You were standing at the center of the Pit, weren’t you, when you turned this on.”

“And except for the time that I spent with you in the processing center, where I went to shut the computer down by the way, I have spent the entire time there as well. That’s not a good thing, is it?”

“What do you know about the side effects of excess chroniton radiation?”

“There are side effects?” he says almost tongue in cheek, and then he sees my expression and sobers, “How bad?”

“Well, you saw the dinosaurs out there.”

“Hallucinations?” he says, hopefully.

“It is one side effect. Someone here has so much chroniton radiation that they are punching holes in reality so big that dinosaurs are stepping through from a timeline where there never was a mass extinction.”

“But that is so unlikely. If it hadn’t been a meteor, it would have been a virus, or a natural ice-age or…”

“But not impossible, right?”

“Of course it’s not impossible.”

“Every possible outcome of every decision since the beginning of time and until the end of time already exists out there, and this person is either consciously or unconsciously punching holes to those realities.”

“It’s me, isn’t it.”

“Or one of your assistants.”

“I was the only one in the center. I thought I set up the coordinates properly.”

“You were trying to go back to where you started?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

The more that I learned, the more I realized that we had an impossible task. Not just an unlikely one. That first experiment, the one that failed, should have been the end of this program, since even if they’d brought him back, he would have been the chroniton equivalent of walking nuclear waste.

Hell, he was that equivalent now. With how much energy he was generating here...how hadn’t he punched a hole in reality before this? He would have to have been a walking flux point for...years.

Suddenly all the anachronisms began to make sense. He was a weak point in time, and the best thing we could do for reality wouldn’t be to take him back with us, it would be to kill him, because as soon as he was inanimate he’d stop being a focal point for all of this craziness.

In all the time that I’d been an agent, all of the missions I’d been called upon to do, I’d never felt the nausea that killing this man brought upon me. I went outside and was violently ill all over the side of the building.

***
Music is playing from the room down the hall where the general, Chris, is sitting. Both that door, and the door to the room where we’re sitting, is closed. I explained some BS about preserving the timeline and about how he can’t hear what we’re saying. You know, paradox and all that.

“You know how we were told that it was a simple matter of turning off the machine and everything returns to normal, disaster averted?”

“Yeah,” Steve says warily. Lois and Dave are looking back and forth between themselves, sharing meaningful looks. Lois looks worried when she turns to look at me fully.

“What weren’t we told?” Lois says. She is too calm. This almost seems as though she knows the other shoe is about to drop.

“We weren’t told that the machine is already off.”

“What!” Steve yells and Dave is out of his seat opening his mouth to speak.

“Sit the fuck down. Now!” I say, getting angry. Here they are, acting as if it is the end of the world. What they don’t realize is it is the end of the world, just not for them. “there are going to be no more outbursts of any sort, or I’m going to shoot the offending party.”

“Ray,” Steve mollifies, but I’m having none of it, “I mean it, Steve. I’m this close to just killing all of us and hoping that the timeline sorts itself out.”

“How would that work, I mean we wouldn’t be killing…” Lois began, but then her face went pale, and then a little green. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Been there, done that,” I say.

The boys, like usual, are a little slow on the uptake. This isn’t anything against guys in general, it’s just that those of us who have a Mental classification are required to have a lot more knowledge on the theory of time travel than the Physical grunts.

“What’s going on?” Dave says, getting worried.

Lois answers for me, “One of us is the reason that everything is going to hell in a handbasket. And since it is an excess of chroniton radiation, making us inanimate would be an expedient method of solving the problem.”

“No, not one of us, Lois. Two of us, by which I mean the General...and me.”

“We’re not killing Ray,” Steve says rising to his feet again, and I glare at him. He sits back down.

“We may not have a choice,” I say. I will not cry, I think to myself as I watch Steve’s face crumple. I’ve seen him face down a charge of heavy cavalry alone and never seen him so defeated as I see him in this moment.

“We may not have an option, Steve. You saw how high my readings were. I’m basically dead already. You just barely enter the yellow and they don’t send you out for six months. How long do you think it will take for me to be able to go out again. And forget me having children.”

“But...wait, the other you can have children?”

“There is no other me, Steve. Not anymore.”

“How do you know?” He says. I just glare at him and he has the good grace to blush.

“You’re a girl?” Lois says with entirely too much joy in her face.

“Physically, yes, at the very least. Anything else would have to wait for a full medical examination.”

“Don’t you know, I mean you merged with this other you…” Steve says. He is hoping that all of his dreams are coming true. How do I tell him that our story isn’t a fairy tale? How do I tell him that it shares much more in common with horror.

“It’s not that simple. I’m not this other person. I don’t know what’s going to happen. All I do know, is that there are two people causing this right now and the other one is the General.”

The import of my words is sinking in and I smile sadly at them. They haven’t reached the next logical conclusion, the one that I already knew. I sit there quietly, waiting for them each to come to the understanding of the core problem.

There is something that they don’t realize, however. What they don’t realize is something that I’m only now beginning to realize, and it defies logic. I’m hoping that my theory is wrong, but I have a feeling it isn’t. If it’s not wrong, then killing the two of us isn’t just the easiest option, it’s the best option.

“Wait,” Steve says. This is a flux-point. We can alter the outcome. We just have to figure out how. There has to be an action we can take that will…”

I shake my head and try to speak, but nothing comes out. Lois speaks for me, “It can’t work that way, Steve. Even if we get her back to our time, she’s done with the program. There’s no way she can ever go back again, and with the levels we saw it will be lucky if she doesn’t end up living for the next decade or so in a concrete bunker somewhere while she bleeds off chroniton energy.”

“So, we kill her, you know, suffocation or something, and then revive her,” Dave says.

“How long does it take for a formerly living organism to bleed off Chroniton energy, Dave?” I ask quietly. “A second? A minute? Five minutes? How dead do I have to be to speed the process, David?”

“That’s enough, David,” Steve says stepping between the two of us. David looks helplessly in Lois’ direction, but there are no answers there.

“It get’s worse,” I say.

“How could it get worse?”

“Well, we could completely end the project if we kill both the general and myself.”

“We’re not killing you, Ray.”

“Why not? It would solve the problem.”

“No, it wouldn’t. I can’t live without you.”

I smile through my tears, knowing my makeup is running, but not caring. I love this man, and I just hate that it took me this long to realize it. If I had a chance to do everything over then I’d make sure that we made the most of every opportunity before us. I wouldn’t allow my own hesitation to take away all those little moments that we could have had together.

I’d be a better person.

Unfortunately, that’s a losing proposition because I think that I know how this all ends. There won’t be a fairy-tale ending for me. Not this time.

“Ray, promise me something,” Steve says, a blatant desperation in his voice.

“Steve…”

“Promise me that you’re not going to just give up. Promise me that you will keep fighting until the end. None of this fatalistic crap. This point in time hasn’t been written yet.”

I nod. I can’t voice it, but I nod for him, and he kisses me. I push away as fast as I can, “You can’t do that, Steve. It’s not safe.”

“Damn safe, Ray. I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

“We’ll have the rest of our lives together.”

“Ray, you’re lying to me. For the first time since we met, you’re lying to me. I don’t know what you know, but I know that you’re lying through your teeth. You know that you can’t make it through this alive.”

“Steve…”

“I want to change it, but if I can’t I’m not missing another moment of what we could have together.”

On some unspoken word of agreement, David and Lois leave the room. Steve takes me in his arms and kisses me like it’s the end of the world. The very fact that it is the end of the world doesn’t lessen it in anyway, but it does make it more bittersweet.

After his initial force, he becomes perfectly gentle with me, and I melt into him. It is the best and worst moment of my life and in that moment I forget all about what I know and what I assume and I am just Rachel and he is just Steve and we are one.

***
My hair is a mess. The thought makes me laugh, and there’s a hysterical note to it. I get it under control and then redo my hair. My makeup is a different proposition so I just wash it off with the soap on the counter. I’m scrubbed clean, but I still look like a woman in the mirror, and the thought makes me smile.

Steve made me feel like a woman as well, but that thought destroys the smile on my face. I love Steve, and I’m afraid that I’m going to break his heart. There is a pounding on the door and I open it to find Steve standing there with General Haynes. There is a huge smile on his face.

“There is an industrial freezer on the base, in the mess. It’s probably still running, or at least cold enough.”

“Cold enough for what?”

“Well, I figured since the general built his own chroniton generator that he must have more than a passing knowledge of the theory behind it.”

“But…” I begin, but then shut up. That first group did successfully send a person back in time, so they had to have at least part of the theory right.

“The rate that chroniton radiation leaves the body is accelerated by dropping the temperature of said body,” Chris says.

“Right, but there is so much chroniton radiation in the air…”

“It’s lined with lead,”Steve says.

“Wait...they lined a freezer with lead? Why in the world…”

“To protect the food from chroniton radiation,” Chris says with a grin.

“That has to be the stupidest reason to do something I have ever heard,” I say in shock.

“I agreed with you, but the brass didn’t believe me when I told them it was only animate creatures who can really be affected by chroniton radiation. My theory is that it has to do with the electrical field that a living body generates.”

It didn’t explain why a robot couldn’t be sent back, but I let it pass.

“Regardless, the faster that the body drops below seventy degrees, the faster that it will shed it’s excess chroniton radiation.”

“Faster, yes, but how long?”

“No longer than about fifteen or twenty minutes,” Chris says. He knows what that means just as much as I do. This isn’t a magic bullet. This is a virtual death sentence. Without a modern trauma center, both of us are probably dead. Even with one, our chances aren’t that good. Our core temperature has to drop below seventy degrees fahrenheit or about twenty degrees celsius. We would be dead as soon as our bodies dropped much below ninety fahrenheit or thirty celsius.

And we had to stay below that temperature for about twenty minutes, just to be sure.

“It’s not going to work,” I say, sadly.

“Yes, it will. Lois and Clark went back alone to get Michael and Michaela. We’re breaking protocol, but to hell with it. We’re not losing anyone else.”

Steve wraps me in his arms and holds me, but the general and I share a look. Both of us know that this will likely mean a grave, and not salvation, for either of us.

“When do we leave,” I ask, trying to sound hopeful.

“I gave Lois and Clark the location of the mess, so they should be able to meet us there, especially since they’ll be coming back at the same time they left, again. I’m sure the controllers are wondering what in the world is going on.”

“Nah, I spent four days in the control center, remember. Mostly they’re just trying to stave off boredom and finish with their shifts so they can go home.”

He laughs at that, and I’m glad that I can continue to bring him joy. We step outside the building and I make the mistake of looking up. I see a warped reflection of the ground. It’s as if a metallic dome had been put over the top of the sinkhole. It is likely that the first team, and possibly the second, are on site. We are on a timer, now, and every minute counts, or so it seems.

I see a flicker of motion out of the corner of my eye, and turn to look, but there’s nothing there. I see a bush moving gently, but that could as easily be a breeze as anything else. I ignore, for the moment, that the air is completely still.

There’s movement to my right and I turn that direction just in time to see a grey, scaly, tail move around the corner.

“Guys,” I say, quietly, “I think we have company.”

“Another dinosaur?” Chris asks, bouncing a little like a kid in a candy store.

“No, I think,” and that’s the last thing I say before I let out an eep of surprise. I’ve been lifted off my feet and yanked backwards by something strong and ropy feeling. My arms are pinned to my sides and I look down. It’s a tail. Up close, I can see the scales are black and white, but so fine for something this large that the blend into a grey at any distance. My view is whipped around and my hairband breaks loose. I don’t have any time to worry about it because a large triangular head comes into view.

“Mmmm,” a sibilant bass voice says, “a tasty little morsel. And blonde too. It’s been ages since I could eat a natural blonde.”

“What in the hell?” I say. My shock seems to have worn off to be replaced with perplexity.

“Oh, so you humans are the only intelligent beings on the planet?”

“I don’t believe in dragons,” I say with a little smile.

“You can disbelieve gravity, but it will still kill you.”

“Oh, so you’re a learned dragon?”

“When you’re alive as long as I am, you tell me that knowledge won’t become the only thing that gets you up in the morning. There are only so many sunrises that you can see without it all becoming a little blase.”

“Oh, well, then you know all about time travel,” at his nod I continue, “and chroniton radiation?”

“Well, of course...why do you ask?”

“I was born male.”

“And? You’re not the first trans-woman I’ve eaten.”

“This body was, as far as I can tell, born female.” While not strictly true, it had the desired shock value attached and the dragon, for that’s what I assumed it to be, dropped me to the ground.

“Well, excrement.” the dragon says and I can’t help but laugh. The thought of something the size of this monster saying a euphemism is just humorous to me for some reason. Steve and Chris come running around the corner and stop in their tracks.

“Well, one of those two I can eat, I assume, unless everyone here has been overdosed with chronitons,” the dragon hisses.

“Run, Steve!” I scream, realizing too late the danger he’d just put himself in. I pull out my side arm and begin firing at the dragon’s neck. He casually turns his head to look at me and I stop shooting.

“Don’t think I won’t kill you, little morsel. Just because I can’t eat you while you’re still wriggling and fresh doesn’t mean I would pass up leftovers.”

The casual tone with which he says this is more chilling than the words that he speaks.

“Only humans would be so arrogant as to assume that just because they’re the only ones to have achieved time travel that they’re the only ones who understand it. Some of us aren’t quite that reckless,” the dragon grumbles and slips around the corner so quickly that it would almost be possible to assume that this was a nightmare and not a living breathing...something. My mind fails to come up with a metaphor strong enough to describe the hell I am living in.

There are some sounds of gunfire from around the corner and I run to see, hoping that Steve is still safe, and that he can survive long enough for something, anything, to save him. Like a meteor, or a laser pistol, or something.

A squad of soldiers has formed up in the next intersection over and is firing as fast as they can work the levers on their rifles. The bullets aren’t even penetrating the beasts hide and I wonder, idly, what it could be made out of. The thought makes me chuckle darkly. Here I’m looking at a beast out of myth and legend, a being that heavy cavalry was said to be able to kill, provided they hit the right spot, and I’m wondering if a few ounces of lead can penetrate it’s hide.

The dragon wins, of course, and decimates the squad. One second they’re there, firing at the dragon. I think I see a smile split it’s face, and then it launches itself into the intersection and bits and pieces of bodies are flying in every direction. Miraculously, there is one soldier still standing, unharmed, in the middle of it.

In the next moment I realize that it wasn’t happenstance but planning as the dragon picks the soldier up by it’s tail. Oh, do struggle and scream,” the dragon says in it’s deep sibilant voice, “it makes the meat taste better.”

I turn away from the scene just as the soldier begins to scream. The sound is cut off by a resounding crunch. I turn to see a leg hanging from the beasts jaws. Just as I turn it disappears with a slurp. Somewhere inside me I know he was watching me, waiting for me to turn so he could show me that. I dry heave and collapse to the pavement while the dragon laughs. I’ll have nightmares for the rest of my life that feature that laughter.

“Where was I,” the cold cruel voice of the dragon intones.

“Fire!” I hear David’s voice call out behind me and four guns sound as one. Holes appear in the dragons head, and he lets out a bellow of shock that shatters windows all around us. My ears are ringing so badly that I can’t hear the follow-up shots, but the dragon jerks as shot after shot pierces it’s body. It turns toward us, all of it’s lithe motion missing in the painful jerking motions it attempts to make. Still, the hail of fire passes all around me and I drop to the ground. My eyes are locked on the form of that beast as it’s ripped apart. A little smile splits my lips and I say, “Fuck you very much, asshole.”

Distantly I hear some laughter behind me and I turn to see Lois and Clark and Mike squared holding the large fifty caliber rifles that are standard for any mission to a time before mankind began trying to tame the universe.

Steve appears out of nowhere and helps me to my feet and Michaela walks over to me. “Ray?”

“Hey, Mif.”

“You’re a girl.”

“Yep,” I say with a smile.

“You slipped.”

“Um, well, didn’t you guys explain what was going on?” I say turning toward Lois and Clark.

“Well, we sorta forgot that time wasn’t of the essence,” David says.

“And we rushed when we didn’t need to,” Lois finishes.

“You should have at least waited the customary four hours,” I say and they just look embarrassed. “I assume one of you two brought a portable scanner in your bag of tricks,” I say looking at each of the Mikes in turn.

“Of course, Rachel,” Mim says and I glare at him. Mif laughs.

“What’s this whole ‘Mif’ thing?” Steve says.

“that’s easy,” I say. “Mike, female, can be shortened to Mif and Mike male can be shortened to Mim, so we just call them Mif and Mim, at least the other girls and I do.”

“Finally admitting you’re a girl,” Steve asks and I punch him in the arm. “As if you had to ask, asshole.” He’s just grinning at me and I can’t help but return the smile.

We make our way to the mess hall. The power is still on, something at least I was worried about. Apparently the base is large enough to have it’s own power generation. Mike squared check out the freezer and then verify the radiation levels on the inside, which were negligible, and then on each of us. Steve was a little high, but nothing that a little time in the freezer with me wouldn’t cure. Everyone else was fine. Well, everyone excepting the general and I. We were still ridiculously high in the red.

“You’re sure about the math on this,” Mim says.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Chris replies.

After that they close the door. Steve only needs to be in here for about five or ten minutes to be within the safe line so he stays over by the door. To speed the hypothermia process the general and I are soaked completely through. I’m shivering within seconds and I can see Steve straining to come over and hold me, to try and warm me.

“It’s going to be ok, Ray.”

“I know,” I stammer out.

“You look so cold right now.”

“That’s just because I’m freezing,” I stammer, but jaw chattering uncontrollably. Chris laughs but Steve looks like I’ve stabbed him in the gut. After a minute or so, the shivering stops. It doesn’t feel as cold to me anymore. Steve leaves around that time and I realize I’m losing track of time.

“This will be an adventure, huh?” Chris says, but I don’t have the energy to reply. I lie down on the floor and close my eyes. I don’t want to die with my eyes frozen open. It’s been a long time since I prayed, but I do so now. I pray until my thoughts begin to wander and then quickly close it. I’m feeling tired and I just begin to drift. I can imagine the flurry of activity that is about to occur, or at least will twenty minutes after my core temperature reaches seventy degrees.

Logically, I know I should have time. It is frozen in here, well below zero, and they cranked the thing as low as it would go. A small portion of my mind wonders if this is an anachronism. I’m not sure since I’ve never studied refrigeration technology.

It’s possible that it is, but then again possible that it isn’t.

Steve’s going to miss me when I’m gone. I’ll miss him, too, but I’ll be dead. I’m not sure if I go on after death, but I am sure that people have been doing it for years and I’ll have to be able to get over him. There would be more ghosts otherwise.

I just wish that I could make love to him one more time.

I wish I could have his children and grow old with him.

I wish...