Bran has a lot to sort out with his life.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing," I said as I stared at the tangled mess I had in my hands. How do other guys take this thin strip of cloth and turn it into anything useful?

I wasn't too worried about my date tonight. I was just going to a middle of the road restaurant with Amanda. I wanted to dress up a bit, well dress up guy, so she could see me the way I really was. At school, I still wore gender ambiguous clothing, but this wasn't in school.

"I wish dad were here." I said to my mirror image.

"Let me get that for you."

"Mom, you don't have to..."

"Help my son with his first date? No, but I want to."

"I thought you hated what I'm doing."

"I really think you're making a mistake." That was the way Mom was anymore. She never referred to my gender, or name, if she could help it. I was surprised that she went so far as to call me her son.

"Thank you, Mom."

"You're welcome...Bran"

"Why do you think this is such a mistake?"

"Because if I'd done this at your age, I would never have had you."

"Mom..."

"No, I need to say this. When I was a teen, I was sure I was a boy. I hated girly things. I hated girls, which at least is something we didn't have in common. I had short hair, refused makeup, and tried everything I could to be a boy until I met your father. He changed everything for me. I knew he liked girls, the more feminine the better. I became what he needed me to be."

"But don't you understand? I'm not you!" She finished my tie and stood back.

"I know you're not."

"I'm dating a girl, mom. I'm attracted to girls."

"You don't know that..."

"Mom, I become aroused by girls in the locker room."

"That's just these hormones we have you on."

"Mom, there are gay guys. Are you saying they just have estrogen in their systems?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Mom, I like girls. There's no possibility of me having someone's baby."

"You might find the right guy..."

"Mom, do you ever think now that you were supposed to be a guy?"

"Sometimes, but that's not the point. See?" she said gesturing to herself, "I'm feminine. I'm girly," she begins to cry a little; "I'm a woman!"

"No, mom, we're not women. I'd be proud of you being my other dad."

She looked shocked that I would suggest such a thing to her, but I could also tell that something about it didn't shock her, but it did scare her.

"Think about it. I love that I'm alive, but don't you think that maybe you're doing yourself harm by continuing to try to be a girl? I know I am. With myself I mean."

"I'm too old."

"You're only thirty-seven mom."

"But, why would I be doing that. It's not like I find women attractive, or have dated anyone since your father..."

"You do it for yourself, so that you can actually like the person you see in the mirror."

"And you like the way you look right now?"

"Mom, you gotta admit, I'm kinda hot."

"I don't think I feel comfortable commenting on whether or not my seventeen year old son is 'hot'."

"I don't mean you should hit on me, just objectively speaking." Secretly, I was happy that she seemed to be coming around to seeing me as her son.

She gave me an appraising once over and then smiled, "You're no Brad Pitt, but yes, you're good looking."

"Thanks, Mom," I said and kissed her on the cheek as I grabbed my jacket and made my way out the door. My rust bucket wasn't elegant, but it was transportation. I hung my jacket in the back seat and drove over to Amanda's house. She didn't live too far from me, in a distance sense, but her home was in a completely different price range from my own modest living quarters.

True, I personally had money coming in now, but I doubted that I'd ever actually be rich.

I grabbed my coat from the back seat and walked up the brick walkway to the door. The doorbell even sounded expensive. I was beginning to feel a little out of my element when an older gentleman answered the door.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm here to pickup Amanda?"

"You're the girl who's taking her on a date?" The confusion on his face was evident. What he knew and what he saw were at odds.

"No, I'm the transgendered boy who is."

He blinked a couple of times and then smiled. "You're a boy?"

"Yes."

"Come in then," he said stepping out of the doorway. I think I heard him mutter something like, "Lesbian my ass," but that could have been just me.

I waited for a minute or two for Amanda to make her entrance, and what an entrance it was. I didn't remember ever having told her that I preferred redheads, but she'd heard somewhere and remembered because her hair was the most glorious shade that I'd ever seen. Sure, it was out of a bottle, but I really didn't care. Her beauty took my breath away and made me want to slay dragons.

She came to a dead stop when she saw me. She was a little shocked, I could tell, but I don't think that's all that happened. I think she realized for the first time on an emotional level that I was a boy.

I could tell she liked what she saw.

"Hey, Bran."

"You ready to go?"

"Yep. See you later, Daddy."

"Just a minute, don't I get to know your plans?"

"Dinner," I say with a smile, "Maybe a movie later."

"Just so long as there's no parking planned, I'm fine with that."

I was confused for a minute or two before it occurred to me what he was say. "I don't think you need to worry about your daughter's virtue."

"I better not."

We made our exit at that point and I escorted her to my car. It might look terrible on the outside, but at least it was clean on the inside. We drove to the restaurant where I opened her door for her. She'd been quiet the entire ride, and I hoped it wasn't anything I'd done. She kept stealing glances at me, smiling whenever our eyes met.

"So," I said, offering my arm, "You're awfully quiet tonight."

"Well, I know you told me you were a boy, but at school it sort of seems like a joke. Sure, you're butch, but you could pass as a girl."

I was quiet, letting her form her thoughts into sentences.

"Here, though, tonight, you're a guy, and it's sorta turning me on."

"What?" I choked out.

"No need to be embarrassed. You're hot."

"Well, I love your hair."

"Really? I'd hoped you would. I remember you saying once you liked redheads."

"I do that."

We got into the restaurant and I redeemed our reservations. We had a table for two with a candle in the center. I could tell that she was worried at the price range on the menu, so I tried to ease her worry. From horrible pity dates I'd gone on with a boy here or there I knew how difficult that it could be from the other side of the table.

"So, Amanda, I was thinking of getting the steak with lobster tail. Is there anything that catches your eye?"

I intentionally picked the most expensive item on the menu. At the restaurant we were currently sitting in that plate ended up costing thirty-five dollars. I smiled at her when she looked a little shocked at me.

"I'm on salary and I live at home. What else would I spend my money on but a beautiful girl?"

"A new car?"

"Well, the one I have works, and people tend to underestimate me."

"I can see that."

"So, do you really want the steak and lobster, or were you just being polite to me."

"Steak, yes, but I prefer shrimp to lobster."

"Well, then I'll get the shrimp and steal your lobster."

I grinned at her and she leaned across the table a bit. I leaned into her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. Kissing someone wearing lipstick was a completely different thing to wearing it yourself. You get used to the greasy feeling when you're wearing it, but kissing lips that are wearing it is an entirely different story. They feel slick and soft, and you get the slight taste of lipstick on your tongue.

It was exciting in a way I never imagined it could be. It reminded me I was the guy in the relationship. Someday, hopefully sooner than later, I would begin growing facial hair. I would bulk up, my voice would change.

This kiss seemed a promise of that in a strange way.

We ate dinner and talked to each other. It was pleasant talking to her at the worst of times, but right now, with the candle light playing off the highlights in her red hair, it was electric.

She ended up sharing her shrimp with me by the fork full, so I reciprocated with the lobster. There were giggles and laughter as it was a silly way to eat, but it was also very provocative in an innocent sort of way. I could feel her teeth grating lightly along the fork, and it made me think of other things that would fit in her mouth.

Look, I'm a guy, alright, and while we may not always think about sex, a good looking girl doing interesting things with her mouth are enough to derail even the most dry scientific thought, and I didn't start with anything scientific to begin with, unless you count Chemistry in that concept.

She went to touch up her makeup after we ate while I settled up the bill.

We did end up going to a movie, but to tell the truth I have no idea what it was. This isn't to say that it wasn't any good, but that Amanda is that distracting. I could tell what she wanted from the evening, and I was having a really hard time not just giving in to her. She was rubbing her chest along my arm 'accidentally' and sliding her hand along my thigh. I tell you, that even the most stalwart among you would have found it impossible to watch that movie.

About thirty minutes in, I had to hold her hand just to keep her from stroking me.

Yeah, I get that guys are supposedly the more aggressive when it comes to relations with the opposite sex, but Amanda was insatiable.

IT seemed that no matter what I did, she was intent on either having my hand in her lap or her hand in my lap or both. I splashed water in my face, cold water, to try and get some perspective before I drove her home.

I gave her a nice, if short, kiss on the porch before dropping her off.

   >8D   >8D   >8D
I wasn't unaffected by the events of the evening. I had a very difficult time getting to bed that night as images of the trouble that Amanda and I could have gotten up to persisted in going through my head. She was a beautiful girl and her red hair only enhanced that.

From her dad's reaction to me, though, it was obvious that she thought of me as a girl, a fact that my appearance hadn't dissuaded her from.

I'd had some experience fighting off other boys. As I'd mentioned, the other dates I went on were generally just terrible. Some of them were before I realized I was a boy, so I just thought it was the boy, and tried to go with other boys to see what type of boy I liked.

Ugh, even the though now seems too girly for me.

I tried; I really did, to be a girl. I tried wearing dresses and skirts, makeup and earrings and jewelry.

I can't stand the feel of something pulling on my ears by the way. It feels...weird. I can't really explain it more than that. Dangly earrings are the worst.

Makeup...well...makeup isn't all that bad, I have to admit. It's cool how it can dramatically change your look just with a few swipes of the brush. I think I miss makeup most of all since I started going boy.

Don't misunderstand: Lipstick is a pain in the ass. I'm mostly talking about all of the rest of it.

Luckily for me Sunday was off for me, so I could sleep in. It took a long time until I finally drifted off.

   >8D   >8D   >8D
My phone rang early the next morning, and I cursed under my breath as I searched for it on the night stand. "Hello?"

"Bran?"

"Who else would it be?"

"You're voice sounds deeper on the phone."

"It's probably the fact that I'm half awake and groggy Amanda."

"That must be it. So, about last night..."

I sat there quietly waiting for her to continue. The silence stretched thin, but never quite broke. I looked at my cell a couple of times to make sure I still had a connection.

"Oh, now you want to talk?" I said a bit nastily.

"Why are you doing this, Bran?"

"Why were you trying to seduce me?"

"I wasn't..."

"What do you call your behavior, then? The 'cute' feeding each other food thing. The mauling me in the theater thing."

"I thought you liked the whole thing with the food."

"It was okay, but I didn't see it as a prelude to anything."

"I thought guys were supposed to think about sex all the time," she said with a sneer.

"Oh, believe me; it kept me up half the night. That doesn't mean I'm some sort of man-whore who will be swayed by some killer hips and puppy-dog eyes. I still have a brain, contrary to popular myth, and I don't think with my little man."

"You have a..."

"Not the point, Amanda."

"What is your point?"

"My point is that I don't have to have to screw your brains out even if I really, really want to."

"You want...me?"

"Amanda, you have to realize how sexy you are."

"Well, I...well...no."

"Don't guys ask you out all the time?"

"Not after they find out I'm a lesbian."

"And how do they find out?"

"…well, I tell them…when they ask me out."

"Yeah, I can see how this would be a problem for you: chasing off all the good looking guys because you've put yourself into a little box and labeled yourself."

She laughed at that, and I smiled. I loved making her laugh, even if I just liked her. This was not the love affair of the ages. Sure, she made me happy, and it was fun spending time with her, but I didn't have enough in common with her. I wanted someone who would join me in the mountains on weekends.

I wanted someone who would…be my partner in all my endeavors.

Amanda was too much the rich girl to ever be that. She wanted to be pampered and cared for, and someday she'd find the right girl, or guy, for her.

We talked for a while about inconsequential things before I called an end to the conversation. Breakfast was calling me.

   >8D   >8D   >8D
Saturday I'd gotten a haircut. I wanted something more masculine than my pixie I'd been sporting. It was short and parted. With the changes that had been, too slowly in my opinion, happening to my body the image that looked back at me from the mirror on Monday didn't look like a girl with a boy's haircut. It helped that my eyebrows were a bushy mess, as I'd never gotten them plucked thank goodness. My cheekbones had never been that high in the first place, so without makeup and the first wispy hairs of my beard...

My beard.

Just the thought of it was weird, but at the same time it sent a little thrill through me. I would have my own facial hair. I wouldn't need to shave it, unless I wanted to. And it covered so much less area.

I'd stopped shaving my legs and pits six months ago. It was a hassle that I'd never really gotten into. I think I would be fine with shaving my face. I tried to imagine myself with a beard and mustache, but it didn't really fit. I'd be a clean shaven guy, I decided right then and there.

I tossed on a light blue button shirt and a pair of khaki pants. Sneakers of course were my footwear.

Since I wouldn't be able to really hide my haircut, I decided to go full into 'boy mode' for school. If I couldn't hide, I figured I might as well be myself.

The drive in was uneventful, and even entering the school didn't cause too much of a stir. I stopped by the office.

"Good morning, Delores. You look very good today," I said with a smile. "Is Mr. Henley in?"

Mr. Henley was our assistant principal, and I figured the best one to let know that I would be presenting as a boy from now on. Delores was the secretary. She was over eighty, or at least I assumed from her start white clothing and the old-lady clothing she always wore.

"Go on in, Raven."

"Please, Delores, I've told you my name is Bran."

"Until your records say 'bran' on them, I'll call you Raven. You did know it is a gender neutral name, right? I checked."

"Fine, I'll get my records changed then. Have a nice day."

She wasn't a bad sort, just a stickler for the rules. I guess she considered herself part of the principal staff of the high school, which to a degree she was. It was her duty to see that things ran smoothly in the office. All things considered, that really was fine by me.

"Good morning, Mr. Henley."

"Morning, Bran. What can I do for you?"

"Just wanted to let you know I'm going to be presenting as male from now on."

"Thank you for the heads up, Bran. You have your carry letter?"

"I do."

"Then get to class, young man. I hope I don't see you in here again for a very long time."

"I'll do my best," I said with a chuckle.

The first person I really saw upon exiting the office was Amanda. I went up to her and gave her a quick kiss. "Hello, beautiful."

"Bran...you can't do that..." She said looking around at the other students.

"Amanda, have you really looked at me yet this morning?"

"You're...a boy."

"Got it in one, babe," I said with a little laugh.

She kissed me that time and was smiling when we broke apart. "Does this mean you're my boyfriend?"

"Well, why not? We are dating, aren't we?"

She just smiled and nodded at me.

"Hey, faggot!"

I turned with an incredulous look at the source of the voice. One of the football players was flanked by a couple of his buddies and they were all chuckling.

"Hey, Chucklehead, you just saw me kiss my girlfriend right?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should have called you a dyke."

"Do I look like a girl to you?"

"Um..." he began, but then his friend said, "I'd do you."

I had to laugh as everyone in the hall turned and looked at him. He turned bright red and said, "What?"

"That's not the point, Raven"

"The name's Bran, you neaderthalesque statue of fat and muscle."

"Huh?"

"Sorry, I forgot to mention your bone encrusted skull."

"Dude, she's insulting you."

"She?" I replied. "I'm a boy, you moron."

"If you were really a boy, I'd pummel you, Raven."

"My name is Bran Half-elven, Prince of Ravens. I've lead men into battle, men who were worth the name, not little bully-boys like you. I've removed men from battle who were worth more than the three of you put together.

"I'm a blacksmith by trade and a swordsman by avocation. I'm an expert in the sword and shield, but I can use my fists equally well, and if you really want to test me, I'll take the three of you on, right here, right now."

They started laughing at me, but I only glared. The lead Cro-Magnon looked at his friends and then threw a punch as he turned around. He probably thought it was clever, but I saw the tension in his body that was at odds with his seemingly relaxed gesture.

I kicked him in the balls. "That's not fair," thing two said.

"There is no fair in war," I sneered at him. I punched him in the stomach and then kneed him in the face when he bent over.

I swept the legs out from under thing one and kicked him in the stomach.

I turned back to the kitty in the middle with his jewels in his hands and was advancing to finish the job when I heard a voice behind me say, "Bran! My office! Now!"

   >8D   >8D   >8D
When he said now, I think he meant when my mom arrived. Mr. Henley left me sitting in the office where Delores periodically gave me a disappointed look. Finally, after an eternity of minutes, the door opened and a limping thing one came out.

He must have come in through the exterior door to the office as I never saw him. Why he didn't leave the same way, I don't know.

"Bran!" came a voice of command from the room.

I slipped in and closed the door behind me, "It wasn't my fault, Mr. Henley. They..." I'd had my back to the man and finally turned to see him smiling at me.

"Sorry, had to at least keep some appearances up. I take it you're not hurt?"

"What?"

"We have a no tolerance policy with bullying in the school."

My stomach fell out from under me, "Sir..."

"Oh, no, don't worry. There is a self-defense clause in the policy. I don't think they ever considered that the defender would be quite so...skilled...but they assaulted you verbally first and then threw the first punch."

I began to smile a little bit until he glowered at me.

"This is no laughing matter, Bran. You are a lot stronger than you think you are. You ruptured one of Monroe's testicles, you broke Lewis' nose, and you cracked three of Evan's ribs."

"I didn't hit them that hard."

"Yes, you did. It may not have felt like it, but you did. I heard you're on testosterone?"

"Yeah?" I said. I was a little confused at where the conversation was now going.

"Are you working out as much as you did before you started?"

"Well, yeah. It's a good habit to have."

"Think about that for a moment, Bran. We talked about how much you work out at the beginning of the year last year."

I'd always had a good relationship with Mr. Henley ever since I'd taken a stint as an office aide my freshman year. I made sure to stop in and talk with him at least once a week. He was the first one I told that I was a boy.

"It's not that much, really. Just a couple of hours a day. Less now with my job at the forge."

"The Forge?"

"I got an apprenticeship as a black smith. I told you that."

"So, you either spend a couple of hours pumping iron or making it every day. You're now on the natural equivalent of anabolic steroids, at least where your body is concerned..."

"Oh, Shit."

"Yes, you need to realize that you hit hard, Bran. That is why I wanted to talk to you. I saw how they reacted when you hit them. You might be skinny, but you have an impact on those around you."

I smiled at his pun.

"It helps that they attacked you three on one, and that we have cameras in the hallway that captured the entire event. Just try not to come to blows with anyone again, okay?"

I nodded, but I was subdued for the rest of the day. I'd kept working out because I wanted to bulk up. That hadn't worked out, but I'd shed body fat and kept my muscle. Now...

I'd realized that the tasks at the forge were getting easier, and that I fatigued a lot slower, but I'd never realized just how much that meant to my physique. I didn't want to permanently damage anyone, and I'd done that to at least one of the other boys.

I was worried about them pressing charges. I knew that Mr. Henley hadn't brought the police in, but it was always a possibility that one of the other boy's fathers would want to press charges.

Isn't that the way it always goes? They never pay attention to their sons while they're bullying the other kids, but as soon as their precious baby is the one at the receiving end, they close ranks and call in the police.

That was a worry for another day I decided as I got ready for bed later that evening.

   >8D   >8D   >8D
"Raven Monroe?"

"I'm Bran Monroe," I said showing the officer my carry letter. I haven't been able to legally change my name yet, but my carry letter reads I'm to be referred to as a boy called Bran.

"Could you come with us?"

"You know I'm still a minor? If I'm being arrested I'd like to have my mother present."

"You're not being arrested. We just want to talk to you."

"I'd like to have my mother present at any conversations we have."

The officer looked a bit put out by this, but he just nodded and gestured for me to follow him. We went to the office and I took a seat while the officers called my mom.

Then we sat there like three statues while we waited for her.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"Are you Linda Monroe?"

"Yes?"

"Your...son...was involved in an altercation here on Monday. We wanted to ask...him some questions."

"Bran?"

"It's okay, mom. I just wanted you present. You are my legal guardian after all," I said with a smile.

She relaxed a bit and the officers began asking me questions.

"We'd like to hear your side of the events that happened on Monday."

"I kissed my girlfriend good morning, Monroe called me a faggot. I mentioned that I'd kissed a girl so he then called me a dyke. I pointed out I was a boy to which Lewis replied that he'd 'do' me.

"Monroe continued to verbally assault me to which I replied that I was capable of defending myself."

"Did you call yourself a prince?"

"I play in a historical re-enactment group."

"Like the SCA?"

"Something like that. I was using that to mention that I was capable of fighting them. Monroe laughed at me and threw a punch. I put him out of the fight in the most expedient manner possible."

The other officer snorted at that.

"Lewis came at me from the right side so I put him out of the fight. Evan came at me next and I was in the process of removing him from the fight when it was halted by Mr. Henley."

"You do realize that Monroe Akles suffered grievous bodily harm?"

"Officer, let me ask you a question: If Monroe had threatened me with a gun and I had killed him with my bare hands would we be having this conversation?"

"Well..."

"I mean, unless I'm off base here, that would be a clear-cut case of self defense."

"Well...probably.

"So, three guys who are all a foot taller than me, outweigh me by fifty to a hundred pounds each, and are in the process of attacking me come at me and I get questioned about grievous bodily harm? I could have killed any one of them with my bare hands officer."

"Is that a threat?" the second officer said, putting his hand on his gun.

"No, just a statement. I would never threaten an officer of the law. I work as a blacksmith."

"More of your fantasy?"

"No, I actually work as a blacksmith. My boss is Gregor van der Melten. He runs the 'Done in Black' studio just outside of town. I'm a lot stronger than I look."

"Well, I think that's all we need."

I was taken aback a little by that. I was sure I was in trouble when the officers came to get me from class.

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it. Sorry to worry you. We just needed your statement. We saw the video and checked with a couple of other students and they all agreed with you on the salient points. "

"Okay," I said a little stunned. I'd expected a lot more hassle with this, and other than my attitude the whole thing had gone over easily. I shook hands with the officers and they thanked me for my time.

   >8D   >8D   >8D
The sun was going down behind the trees. I looked behind me to make sure that my bodyguard was still with me. His green face grinned at me and his teeth shone white in the gathering gloom. Without warning a small group of humans charged us from the left.

"Take the prince! The big one is of no use to us. Kill him!"

I drew my sword and Gregor drew his long club.

"No Quarter!" I yelled out, even though it was only Gregor and I.

The humans looked around as if expecting some ambush of their ambush. I only wished I'd had that foresight. I took two of the eight before they turned back around realizing that it was a ruse. Arrows from the tree line struck Gregor and he went down. I got another two of the rebels before the remaining four had me surrounded and took my sword from me.

"There's someone who would very much like to meet you."

They blindfolded me and led me off into the woods