Off to Seek a Wizard... -6- Five Miles High And Falling Fast by Erin Halfelven

 
Most of what was left of a baby grand from the Cimmaron Congregation Church hit the plane high on the right side, in front of the wing, just above seat 12B. It was only the wooden box of the piano, the metal harp thingie and the keys and action having fallen out at a much lower altitude. Still, two hundred pounds of mahogany held together with steel rods and brass fittings made a sizable hole in the side of the plane...

...directly over my head.

I was sucked out in an instant since I wasn't buckled in yet. I didn't even know what had happened for the next thing that occurred was that I either fainted, perhaps from decompression shock, or got knocked out by hitting the fuselage.

When I came to, the plane was nowhere in sight --it couldn't very well stop to pick me up-- and I was surrounded by storm clouds lit by the eeriest sunset I had ever seen. Especially while falling from five miles high above the Kansas plains.

I shrieked. I screamed. I yelled and yelled and yelled. I flailed my arms and legs around. At one point, I must have assumed just the wrong position because as quick as the tablecloth trick, my dress went over my head and disappeared. I'd already lost my wig and flip flops and my purse in the original slurp so there I was falling to my death wearing nothing but a pair of lycra panties (padded), a size 32A/B bra (also padded), two emerald earrings and assorted bits of nail polish and makeup.

Stunned by the enormity of it, I continued to fall. I couldn't really do anything else unless I sprouted wings or learned some really good magic tricks quick-like.

Knowing my TV Tropes, I shouted, "It couldn't really get any worse!" Hoping against hope that a passing pterodactyl or other flying monster would happen by and grab me to take back to her nest where I might arrange some sort of escape before being gobbled up by the young'uns.

What actually happened was I fell into the top of a cloud. It got dark. It got cold. It got colder, coldest, coldester, even. Ice began to form on my fingers and hair. I rolled myself into as tight a ball as I could manage, trying not to freeze to death before impact with the ground could kill me. I know I cried because my tears froze on my cheeks before they could blow away.

I came out of the bottom of the cloud just as a point blank lightning flash and thunderstrike startled and confused me. The monkey grab reflex kicked in and I spread my arms and legs wide trying to reach something to pull myself to safety.

Rain and wind buffeted me from all sides. At least the rain was warmer than the inside of the cloud had been but I shivered and my teeth chattered like a cheap novelty skeleton jaw. I opened my eyes wide and tried to see something but it was dark everywhere I looked. I was falling spread-eagled, and I hoped, face up, though what difference that would make, I don't know. An open casket instead of a closed one?

I hit something. I said, "Oof!" and passed out again.