A vignette about Tom's Golden Egg, just before he discovers it. No TG or Cross Dressing themes other than its connection to the original "Market Research". It just came to me this afternoon as I was waiting for Friday to end...

I crashed in an area populated by what the local sentients call “trees”.

The crash should never have happened - but I’d ignored the frequency fluctuations in the Wemmeninchhuiyhwua Drive for too long. Yes, they stayed within design tolerances, but were outside of the normal range. However, I was being pressured for more information on the humans who would soon experience global contact from representatives of the Board of Trade. So I pushed my luck.

That luck ran out, or at least was severely strained, as I entered the atmosphere of the third planet from the primary of system 70834-245. Its inhabitants called it “Earth”. The oscillations grew worse as I decelerated and the compensation systems were overwhelmed. Those and many other support systems finally crashed as I did. My last bit of luck was that I was traveling slowly enough that when all the systems ultimately failed I simply fell onto the ground as if dropped from a low altitude.

What is it these humans say? Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing. In that respect I had a “good landing.”

As I was running system checks, with most of my external sensors down and all of my localized gravitational compensator/decompensator systems out of commission, I suddenly noted pressure on my outer hull. It was localized in a few points on my surface. You know how the pressure clamps on most orbiting stations feel when they grab your hull? Well this was like that; only not even or consistent.

Then my accelerometers, which were still functioning, reported the vertical lift, followed by a horizontal motion accompanied by an almost sine-wave type up and down movement.

I concentrated all my efforts on bringing my external sensors back on-line.

As the data finally started to flow in, I struggled to compile and analyze it. Point pressure on my hull, a warm, wet, obviously living, surface of some kind was undulating along my lower hull. I brought more systems up.

I hadn’t noticed that my neural integrator was working until I sensed the synaptic communications of the being I was trapped by. Through its system I sensed the sound waves it was also hearing. Its understanding was very primitive; I comprehended that it had some relationship with the originator of the words it heard but I did not yet understand what that was.

All my effort went into deciphering the neurologically patterns I sensed. Finally it dawned on me…

I translated: “Buster! Where are you? Buster, come here!”

External visuals came up and I saw that local environs from behind teeth and lips of some kind of animal; obviously not the local sentient species.

I was inside the mouth of what the population of this planet called a canine, a dog.

I sensed, through this animal; “Buster! God damn it, you son of a bitch, get the fuck over here!”

This did not seem to me to be the type of human I was supposed to contact.

I did something I do not normally do; I compelled the canine. I forced it to release me. This I did by making it seem as if I had a most unpleasant taste.

Soon I was resting again on solid ground. My external visuals, functioning again, I took in the canine retreating. It was what the people here called a “Black Lab”. Even though I recognized the color of the animal, I wasn’t clear as to what relationship a canine had to a laboratory. In the distance I could sense the local sentient who laid claim to this canine. It was certainly not a suitable subject for contact.

I concentrated on my repairs.

Finally, I got myself to a point where all systems were functioning again. As I was preparing to launch again, I sensed another human approaching. My external visuals followed it as it arrived and sat on the construction nearby. I believe this construction was called a “Park bench.” It seemed to be in a bit of health distress and was respirating rapidly. I watched and noted when it finally saw me. It reached down and grasped me with the five fingers (as I believe they are called) on one of its upper appendages.

Once it held me I could connect to its internal communications system and send signals directly to the audio-sensing part of its brain.

I projected what I knew all humans did in situations like this, I said “Hello.”

Copyright 2007 JLW