I looked around the small cabin, but larger than the space I currently occupied, noticing that the bulkheads (walls) had been painted, a light beige - the hullside of the room had a small porthole covered with curtains and a firm ships bunk beneath it, this was covered with a red satin duvet.

New Position

The Purser found me on deck and approached me just after four bells in the middle watch and told me to follow him below to the Captains orderly room. Being new and the mess boy I had never been in that section of the ship, and when he lead me back aft, down a level then up a passageway to a cabin on the right or the starboard side of the ship. Directly across for this door was another ~ closed at the moment, further up to the end of the passageway was still another door. I had no idea where I was, oh I know I’m towards the stern or rear end of the ship but after that with all the decks and stairs, hatches, doors and open spaces, holds I couldn’t really tell anymore where I was.

Opening the door the purser went in first and began speaking in an official tone.

“Your position on the ship has changed by order of the Captain,… to that of Mistress of the Wardrobe. You will live in this cabin and dress in the clothes in the wardrobe”.

I looked around the small cabin, but larger than the space I currently occupied, noticing that the bulkheads (walls) had been painted, a light beige - the hullside of the room had a small porthole covered with curtains and a firm ships bunk beneath it, this was covered with a red satin duvet. The right hand wall was occupied by a shinny metal mirror fastened to the wall, a small fold-out desk with candles and stool along with a wash basin and small barrel of water.

On the wall someone had tacked an illustrated magazine page torn from one of the ladies types of journals that I had seen at home, it showed a young woman in a fine dress with a parasol and fan. This stuck me as odd for some reason, why would this cabin have such a picture? Of course because of mother and auntie, I knew exactly were this page had come from - I had actually seen it while pursuing my Mothers many illustrated magazines. But why was it here?

The whole cabin had a slightly feminine look to it. There were curtains over the porthole and a duvet covering the small bed. Lace doilies on the desk and a small carpet on the floor.

This cabin was much nicer than my hammock - crowded in with the other crew members of my section, closeted in a small smelly dank portion of the forward gun deck. Whose cabin was this?

And why was I here?

I really hadn’t paid attention to what he had said, and then it struck me.

Ooohh my. I began to think of a protest but looked at the Purser and swallowed it back. Well I’ll have to see where this is going, before I say anything, until I found out more of what he wanted me to do, then I’ll lodge a protest.

“Why have you brought me here to a cabin I’m a mess boy.”

“You don’t mind having a new position do you?”

“No, but what is this Mistress of the Wardrobe?” I answered hesitatingly, I had to learn more.

“Well we aboard the Acies Mentis have a tradition and it has worked very well for us. You see these voyages are long and lonely for the men who miss their wives and sweethearts back in port. So to cure this melancholy, one member of the crew is designated to be the Mistress of the Wardrobe. This is to help keep the spirits of the crew up and the voyage safe and quick so everyone profits. All the better for a lucky voyage, having a fine lady aboard that the men can admire.”

I nodded my head, of course I knew that getting a profit from these enterprises was what drove these men and the trading companies, to make these perilous journeys on the open ocean in the first place.

“Everyone is safe and the journey is not tedious so boredom doesn’t set in, which can lead to all sorts of things, madness, mutiny, accidents, death,…disaster. So do you think that you could do this? For the crew to profit and yourself as well”.

“Do you understand what I’ve just told you ?”

I nodded then shook my head. “No I don’t understand,…what did you want from me?
So Purser O’Brien explained it all again slowly this time, so even my fuddled brain could grasp what it was that I was being asked to do.

“Now do you understand?”

A small “yes” escaped my lips. I slumped down on the bunk staring at the floor.

Taking a small brown flask from a cabinet and pouring a small amount in a glass, he held it out for me to take and stared expectantly at me. Since I made no move to accept the glass he moved over and sat next to me while speaking quietly of the ‘benefits’ of following this plan of action, I didn’t pay any attention, I was lost in my own muddled thoughts and confused feelings.

I looked up at him and voice quivering asked “Will the Captain or crew hurt me? If I do this won’t they ridicule me and want to do bad things to me? I’m not sure that this is what I signed up for when I came aboard this ship. I just wanted to get free of my mother and auntie…to become a man, a sailor.”

“Hurt you? Ridicule you? Oh no they will be very civil and adore you, treat you like a fine beautiful young lady of means. You will be worshiped and made to feel that you are the reason that the voyage is going quickly and safely. You are the lucky talisman that we have needed for so long. This is a very honorable position to be in, you will feel like you are the reason that they make such a safe and quick passage. No Charles, if anyone were to make fun of you or attack you verbally or physically you would have but to say the word and they would be punished, not only by flogging, but the rest of the crew would not look kindly on some miscreant ruining their chances of a safe and profitable trip.”

“As a matter of fact - any person, Officer or crew who spoiled your sweet smile would rue the day they set foot on this ship, that I can promise you.”

I was still in a daze.

What does he want me to do,…be ? I brought the glass to my lips as he still watched, thinking that I had an adventure ahead of me when it has turned out that I was going to go back to feminine finery.

I lowered the glass and looked at him with tears in my eyes “What if I cannot do this thing that your asking me?”

“What you can’t take a leisurely ship cruise with no duties other than dressing and looking pretty as a refined young lady, and having the whole crew love you and worship you?”

“But I wanted to learn to be a sailor and grow into a fine young man. You know make some money while learning a trade?”

“Money, aaah there is money to be made in doing this as well, from what I was told a Captain’s share is yours upon completion of the voyage. How does that sit with you? Not the lowly rate of a mess boy, but a full Captains share.”

Some what relieved I brought the glass back up to my lips, thinking at the time that I really could be well off went the voyage was over and then perhaps I could seek a better trade for myself, one that did not involve mother’s stern restrictions but instead more freedom to decide my own fate.

I tilted the glass and poured the contents on my tongue - made a face and swallowed quickly trying to forget the taste, because of the bitterness. I looked at him puzzled and felt a mite dizzy… odd.

Almost swimming. I forced myself to focus and said.

“What do you want from me?”.

“What exactly …

Then all went black as I slumped to the deck like a wet sail.

Explanation

When I started to open my eyes and get them used to the brightness of this cabin after the dim interior of the upper gundeck…I was shocked to see the Purser leaning over me and smiling kindly.

I was lying on the satin duvet covered bunk, which he had obviously placed me upon.

“I have quest…” I began

He began again thusly “You will wash thoroughly and then dress in the proper items in the wardrobe to be introduced to your role as Mistress of the Wardrobe. Jackson will be here in a moment to teach you how, between him and the Doctor you’ll be told everything you need to know.”

“He was the Mistress until last November when he became too manly, Fullbright was going to be the one but the crew didn’t take a shine to him ….no wonder, a little pudgy and hairy. As well as a surly disposition.

“But you …you are just right, with the herbs that the Doctor acquired in southern Brazil, you will turn out just perfect, they will stop your manliness from coming out and keep you small and soft, submissive and receptive.”

I slowly realized I was swimming in the haze of some drug, thinking easy now, but I soon came to the notion that it was to make me docile and pliable. In my inebriated state I was euphoric and calm, all at the same time which seems to have slowed, but Harris droned on, I dozed out my head lolling to the side cushioned from the bulkhead by a large pillow.

“I hope the Captain and First Officer appreciate the efforts I take on their behalf. There will also be some changes to your body as well as your mind …don’t worry your pretty little head about that now.” Just sleep now and when Jackson gets here we’ll talk some more and get you cleaned and dressed.

I think I slept for some time, I was dreadfully tired at the very least.

I was awakened by a knocking on wood somewhere close by to my cabin, yes that’s right I recalled that this was my cabin now. I also realized that I was being more accepting of my new position aboard the Aceis Mentis. How that had occurred I wasn’t exactly sure.

I did run through the memories from when I came to this cabin and drew the conclusion that it had to have been that drink from the brown bottle that Harris had given to me. Yes that’s it. I looked around dreading what I might find, finally see the Purser seated at the desk tamping some fresh tobacco into his briar pipe.

He looked over at me and said “I’m sorry that I woke you, I did not mean to”.

“That’s perfectly alright Mr.Harris.” I sighed to him “I’m sorry for dropping off like that, was there anything else you wished to tell me?”

“Well yes there is, now you have to learn what you will be required to do as the Mistress and that will all come from Jackson. I just want to warn you that resistance is not in your best interests and will only encourage the Doctor to further change you into the porcelain doll you look so much like.”

I propped myself up on an elbow to get a better look at him.

He stood and walked to two steps to the cabinet door. Opening that door revealed that it wasn’t a cabinet so much as a wardrobe. Swinging it wide open I saw a profusion of colour and lace…Dresses! Shoes! Hats! Petticoats! Blouses and Bonnets! Corsets, Ribbons and Bows, Camisoles, Chemises, Silk Satin and Lace Ooohhh my…Stockings! Shoes, Pantaloons and Knickers and …!

He wanted me to dress in these fine dainties! But they were for girls and females and I wasn’t a female. Wait a moment there.

I almost fainted with the vision of loveliness before me. My legs went partly wobbly and I steadied myself. The drugs had also helped in this, making me dopey and passive.

I protested “But I’m a boy,… not a girl “

“On this voyage you are what the Captain and the crew says you are and you are the Mistress of the Wardrobe. And that means you will wear these clothes and masquerade as a woman. A Lady of quality for the relief of the Captain and crew. Who will not see a woman for many months …you were a godsend when I saw you being beaten on by those dregs from the street and when I carried you up the gangway I knew, and then you wanted to join ‘before the mast’ as you put it. But I knew then that with your looks and bearing that you would make a fine ‘Mistress’…you look just like a porcelain doll I once saw in a shop window and knowing the crews taste and the over-riding need to have a “Mistress of the Wardrobe” on this long journey I eagerly signed you up.”

“Then the Captain saw you and some of the crew took a shine too you as well, it was all a forgone conclusion at that point. If you don’t want to save this voyage and this crew, you being part of the ships company now… you should want the successful completion of this voyage. If on the other hand you do not want to help this ships company then we have no choice in the matter and you will be thrown overboard This very evening. Can you swim? I thought not, well there will be no boat to rescue you and we will be rid of you …but we need you to do this for the welfare of the crew and the success of the voyage. Please believe me when I say that you will bring this ship very good luck and a safe voyage.”

“If you do want to be stubborn about this and say no, that you cannot do this ~ to save not only yourself but the sanity and well being of the entire crew ~ then we have no choice in the matter. Over the rail you go, as you know we already have a mess boy and a fair complement of other young lads who will make fine sailors, but you are not of the same ilk as they are you could not do the work required of them, so you would be taken to the deck and tossed over the rail.”

“For when we do make port in Charleston, I know that the authorities will be warned and come searching for you. Then we can answer honestly and say that you were never aboard the Aceis. I saw the peelers on the dock waving the ship back in, what do they want you for did you murder some royalty or something? They seemed most anxious.” He puffed his pipe and looked at me gravely.

‘I was caught now, they knew!’ Wait they didn’t know what the peelers wanted me for. I could lie and say that I was just a lowly thief or I could come clean and tell the truth, but would they believe me? The thief story wouldn’t wash, the ship didn’t need someone on-board who was a confessed thief. They needed a Mistress of the Wardrobe and were willing to allow me to act that part for at least as long as it took to get to Charleston. Well it was the better part of valor for me.

I looked at him and told the truth, I let it all out. My life at home with mother and auntie, the clothes, the restrictions and their plot to have me married to some minor Lord, then running away to Liverpool, my frustration in finding the docks and then those ruffians who accosted me just short of my goal.
Harris sat there during my whole tale calmly smoking his pipe. When I was finished I was in tears. There seemed to me no good outcome to this whole situation.

Removing his pipe from his teeth Harris sedately stated. “See you have the looks and the experience to carry this off and become the best Mistress we have ever had as well as making some very good money. And when the authorities come aboard in Charleston you can be slipped off to the wharf and disappear in the hustle of a new city. This could work very well for you as well as for the ship and crew.’

Slowly I contemplated this newly presented course of action.

Am I Back Home ?

Oh no ! I was right back where I started from - only these were men forcing me to dress in dainties and silks, not my mother or my auntie insisting that I was to dress and remain ladylike. What had I done? I was Flim-flammed, bamboozled kidnapped, trapped.

There was no escaping this - we were too far out of port to try to swim for it and I doubt I could have made it anyways. Oh what a twist, fate has dealt me. I really had wanted to be a sailor, a man, but it now looked like I was to continue my journey into petticoats and dresses. That my mother and aunt had begun when I was younger and had continued until a few days ago. I ran-Away away stealing the stable boys clothes and dashing down the lane to Liverpool then the ordeal of the docks and signing on board the Acies Mentis and now this!

‘I couldn’t do this could I? I mean that there were certain aspects of dressing that I was very enamored of, the dresses were beautiful and the silks, satins and laces were wonderful. I did enjoy brushing my long hair and arranging it to make me appear to be a well-born young lady. Those were all the positive things, but on the other side of the coin. I hated and despised being forced or coerced. My mother and aunt had done it and made plans that they had not seemed to care if I was privy to. That by itself had really hurt me, and now these men whom I had thought were going to help me achieve my goal had turned the situation around and are trying to coerce me again.’

“No” I spoke quietly fearing now his height and strength. Harris looked at me quickly with a sudden flash of anger clouding his face “Oh I think you will”.

“No, you don’t understand Mr. Harris, I have had enough of being forced or coerced into dressing as others would have me. I have runaway from one such situation of this sort, and now you are presenting me with another similar one. I will not be forced or talked into this, I will have all the information given to me upfront and then decide for myself, I am tired of being forced by people who think they have authority over me. Throw me over the side if you will, but what I’m telling you is that I want to know the full extent of the arrangement. Not what you deem necessary to tell me, to convince me to do this ‘acting’. As well as threatening me with dire consequences if I refuse.”

My little outburst had seemed to set him back on his heels and he looked at me in what I hoped was a different light.

I certainly hoped that I had made an impression on him that would allow me to show that I wasn’t about to be convinced just on his telling me I needed to do this.

“Well I am certainly am not displeased that you have shown some courage in saying these things to me. I believe that I will be able to help you make up your mind in a positive fashion about what has been proposed to you. I do like you for showing some spunk and wanting to know the full extent of this arrangement.” Mr.Harris continued on in a softer tone. “I really do like you, you are smart and straight forward. You are pretty and do have the physical attributes that would lend themselves to acting the part of the Mistress.”

I mumbled a small “thank you”. I didn’t want him to think me ungrateful for anything he may have done for me in the past or for anything I may need form him in the future.

Mr. Harris sat down again and seemed lost in thought for a few moments. Then having come to a decision he said “ You are right, telling you that you are to do this was the wrong tack for me to take. I will give you all the information that I can now and in the future, about what is expected of you.”

“Thank you Mr. Harris, that is all I could have asked for, to have what amounts to a choice is something that I needed to settle my mind. I’m sure that we can come to some sort of deal about this, I just wanted you to know that I am fully capable of digesting any and all information about what is needed for me to do. This can be very difficult for me but I think that within certain boundaries I can do what has been asked of me.”

Mr. Harris smiled and then stood up to come over to me and laying a hand on my shoulder in a fatherly fashion said “I’m very pleased with you, and myself for that matter, I think that I made a wise decision when I brought you aboard.”

“Alrighty then, now here is what I think you should know. We aboard the Aceis Mentis take the position of Mistress of the Wardrobe very seriously, most sailors and generally all seamen are a very superstitious lot, we believe in good luck charms and curses and all kinds of other mumbo-jumbo. And have come to think of the Mistress as our ‘Good Luck Talisman’ when this ship has a good Mistress we make voyages smoothly and quickly, with no loss of life or cargo. When in the past we have not had a Mistress the ship and company has suffered. So as you can see it benefits everyone on board as well as the owners to have a Mistress who will inspire and motivate the men to do the best sailing that they can. As well as making them want to finish the voyage and get back to their own wives and sweethearts, it really settles their minds as far as Luck and having a prosperous journey.”

“The ships company would expect you to dress and present yourself as a young lady of means. This cabin and the adjoining one would be put at your disposal for that purpose. You would be expected to ‘promenade’ the deck occasionally and speak to them in refined and cultured tones, only conversation of a general nature of course. There are some events that you would have to attend in dresses and presenting yourself accordingly, nothing strenuous is required of you. You could look at this as a leisurely cruise, as a passenger who had paid for the crossing. You of course would have to do this always, no back sliding into boys clothes or man-ish ways would be allowed.“

“To help you to this end the Doctor, who will be here shortly, has concocted a serum that has wonderful effects on a person such as yourself, meaning someone young and whose body has not yet set into a manly disposition. He has named this serum FireQue, and will provide it from stocks of plants and herbs that were collected in the Brazilian jungle. Any questions so far?”

I shook my head no and then motioned him to go on.

‘Good now I’ll tell you something, the Doctor is a little off the mark, I look at him as a slightly mad scientist, but you won’t have much contact so I think he will be harmless to you. If he does become a problem just let Jackson or myself know and we’ll see he doesn’t bother you again.”

I wasn’t sure what that all meant, but I decided that I would have to keep one eye on this mad scientist/doctor.

“All the dresses and clothing that you would need for this acting as the Mistress would be provided for you. As a merchant vessel we have had access to many of the latest fashions and materials. As well as some that would be tailored to fit you properly, we have aboard many who are very skilled with needle and thread. As well as having some stocks of material that is also at your disposal of course.”

“Now does that ease your concerns about this situation?”

“Yes, you have answered many of my questions and addressed the most immediate concerns, but if I have any in the future may I call on you?” I said, with a distracted air. For there were so many conflicting thoughts colliding in my mind. I would need some time to make anything logical out of them.

Mr. Harris replied emphatically. “Yes, yes of course you can, my china doll.”

Taking a different green flask from the chest of drawers in the wardrobe he poured a small amount into a glass and turned to me. Handing me the cloudy liquid he said “I don’t really like this either, but the ship needs someone as their good luck piece. You’ll have it much easier on this voyage if you can just manage to cooperate and do a convincing job of masquerading as a lady of quality. Leisurely taking a trip to the West Indies - the crew will adore you, revere you, worship and serve you endlessly, the Captain and the First Officer well that’s another story that I’ll get into at a later date.”

I stood up and bowed lightly and said very calmly “I will acquiesce to become the Mistress of the Wardrobe, my dear sir”

First Drink of FireQue

“Drink that and the whole process will be easier for you to bear and when the Captain sees you again that will be easier to bear as well”

“Please for everyone’s sake drink it and become the Mistress we all need.”
This last sentence was almost pleadingly spoken.

I lifted the glass to my lips thinking 'Here I go again, but this time with these men I don’t know where this will end up and I’m not sure that I should have chosen this ship to get out of Liverpool fast.’

‘Alright spilt milk now, should I live or die thats what it has come down to. Make myself into a young lady of leisure for the whole voyage, pandering to the crew’s desire for good luck or is that lust. Or refuse to be used and abused and die with the first mate giving me the pitch over the side. What real choice did I have?’

I looked at him and again posed the query in a small voice. “Nobody is going to hurt me are they?”

“No, no one is going to hurt you, as I said before they will adore you and worship you.” Harris stated emphatically.

Resolved and at least somewhat relieved I tilted my head back and took all the cloudy liquid in one swallow. Making a face at the sudden salty taste, and grimacing at swallowing the thick viscous fluid, feeling it slightly burn down my throat to my tummy.

Mr. Harris the Purser said, “Now that you have accepted, you must take this every morning when you rise from sleeping. Not only will it help your mind adjust and be more err…docile to men but will help ease your transition to womanhood and the mindset you must adopt to make this masquerade work so that you can survive. It will also adjust your body for the clothes to fit properly.”

“Now if you can adjust and be convincing at all times you will have a very pleasant journey, you will be catered too and treated like a fine lady. No work or duties other than to look and act as a lady of means and status. Do you think that you can do this and make a success of it?”

Thinking quickly of all my past experiences at home I nodded. And spoke hesitatingly “YES” slightly depressed that I had taken… a step back in time to my mother’s house and dainties.

I slumped down onto the stool and with my elbows on my knees covered my face with my hands, sobbing quietly. Where did that come from? Me, sobbing? Slowly I felt a fog creep up my spine to my brain, it was just a feeling but as it tingled upwards I was sure something not really to my liking, was happening. It kind of felt like being intoxicated a little, easy feeling mellowness, a kind of euphoria enveloped me and I felt wonderful…how odd? I looked up at Harris and batted my eyelashes at him unashamedly.

Where did that come from?

Damn already their drug was affecting me. I was not sure… I was not prepared for this to happen so quickly. But what has been said many times was still true Survive the best way you can. I decided that this was a good piece of advice. Further I wanted to survive in style and comfort so~Adapt and overcome, then prosper, there it was.

Named, Meeting Jackson

“Now here’s Jackson.” Harris stated as a small knock was heard from the door. Opening it Purser stepped aside to allow the much smaller man dressed in a modified naval coat and trousers by him as he stepped out into the corridor.

He turned and said to Jackson. “Teach Allyson Sophié Rachélle Marcéau-Chantil, here all you can, about being the Mistress of the Wardrobe, you have just short of two weeks before she’ll be needing to debut. When we cross the equator, at the Shellback event, on that occasion we’ll christen her properly.”

What was that name? Where did they get the Allyson Sophié Rachélle Marcéau-Chantil - at? I didn’t know that they were going to change my name. But upon reflection it made sense. And I was mulling it over in my head, when I realized that Allyson Sophie was a very pretty name. Alright I accept that.

But ‘christen’ I wasn’t quite sure I liked the sound of that. What had I gotten myself into?

He turned and left me alone with this nicely dressed smallish young officer, closing the door behind him.

Jackson took a step back against the closed door with me being directly in front of him with the backs of my thighs against the bunk. We looked each other up and down. My appraisal of him was a far cry from his of me. He was dressed as an ensign in the tradition of the East India Company. Black frock jacket over white shirt and black breeches. We regarded each other for some moments, I finally came to the conclusion that he was a pleasant enough looking fellow.

Not hard faced or mean looking at all there seemed to be a slightly feminine cast to his face that I had not noticed at first. He had a young girls face~ I finally decided, narrow chin and higher cheek bones than a man’s face normally has. His eyebrows weren’t bushy and I couldn’t see any scars. His hair was longer than some men, but not as long as mine and the color was midnight black which had a shine to it showing that it had been cleaned and brushed recently.

Finally after a moment he said “Well you look like you will be able to do this without too much trouble. Long blond hair. should work nicely, young clean face, no pox scars or hardness. Narrow shoulders and waist. I’m glad to see that Mr. Harris has made a wise choice.”

He paused and looked intently at my face, a smile slowly coming to his. “Hello Allyson, I’m Jacob Jackson I’m very pleased to meet you and hope that we can be fast friends?” he extended his hand for me to take in mine. I reached forward and grasped his hand immediately noticing how soft it was, he did not shake hands with that crushing strength that some men do, no his was soft and gentle almost like shaking hands with a woman.

I smiled at him and said. “I hope so, I could use a friend aboard this ship and it seems that most everyone is trying to be friendly but I’m a little confused right now, with all the things that have happened since I came aboard and especially with what Mr. Harris has just explained to me.”

“Well I know that you could be confused and I do really hope that we can become close friends, so if there is anything that you want to talk over, you can always come to me. I’m here to help you, Allyson. Now shall we get started?”
I nodded my head, I really didn’t want to jump right in. I wanted to sit down and think things through. But Jackson seemed eager enough and pleasant enough that I was going to follow his lead.

“Alrighty then, take off your clothes.”

I balked at his tone and got a stubborn cast to my face as he burst out laughing. ”That was adorable if you can do that on demand you’ll easily be successful and popular.”

I had to smile as well, I knew then I would be alright with Jackson.

to be continued...