I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to explain to my keepers... I don’t belong in here.

It was just a joke for April Fools. Yeah, some joke. I swear Tom got off a lot more lightly than I did.

Tom was my best buddy, now she’s mud or will be if I ever get my hands on him.

It started out innocently enough. Tom and I were fooling around shooting some hoops and generally goofin’ off. After a while we somehow got around to talking about April First and April Fools Day. It was going to be Saturday a week from now and it was almost a tradition on his part to play an April Fools joke on his Mom. He and his Dad used to do it when his Dad was still around and Tom continued the tradition in good fun. His Mom usually took it all in stride so Tom wanted to do something this year that would really wind her up a bit.

We talked through the usual litany of ideas and possibilities before he suddenly had the light bulb go on above his head. No. Not literally. He began to explain his idea and the more weird it sounded, the more we thought it might work.

I guess this is as good a time as any to explain a few things, especially since his idea involved me playing the part of a girl. It wasn’t like we hadn’t done this before.

I’m built kind of thin and a little shorter than Tom by three or four inches. My hair is longer although it doesn’t especially look like girl’s hair unless I put it up in a pony tail. He and I have gone to maybe a dozen movies with me dressed like a girl so he doesn’t get the rep of being some loser who can’t get a date. He really can’t but that’s because he’s too shy to try. He’s really kind of a nice guy and he never did anything when we went out which would either give me away or make other girls think he was some kind of pushy creep. We managed to go out on several double dates and I think Janet likes him but doesn’t go after him because she think he has a girlfriend (me). Kind of sad actually.

Anyway... His bright idea which got me incarcerated and him in skirts...

He figured that since his Mom has seen me both as Jerry and as Mary Lou(isa), I could come over on April Fools and we would sort of let his Mom catch us talking while sitting on the couch in the living room. When she came unglued we could shout “April Fools.” Simple huh?

Oh... why would she come unglued? Well... we sorta’ would be talking about me being pregnant and that it was his baby and what would we do about it. That’s all. Honest.

So why am I in here? Well things didn’t quite go the way we planned and then too, once I was here I sorta’ broke out a few times before they caught on and changed the locks. Just one of the little skills you pick up when your Dad is a locksmith. I can pick locks. Give me a paperclip or a couple of bits of strong metal and any tumbler lock is mine. That’s why I’m so pissed right now. They put a combination lock on my cell. Of course I guess it didn’t help that I unlocked the cells for the rest of these monkeys as well as my own. I’d call them all idiots but a couple of them are a bit smarter so I’ll call a spade, a spade. One of them even tries to find me bits of metal which might work.

Back to the joke. We planned and I worked up the outfit I would wear and we came up with a script. The two days prior we practiced it and had it down pretty much pat so we decided to try a dress rehearsal which went off like clockwork. We were ready.

Saturday we got everything in order and met up at my house where I prepared myself dressing in the pink dress and flats before we would go back to his for the afternoon. I even conned Sis into doing just a little makeup on me. Cost me five which pissed me off so I wasn’t in the best of moods but as Tom and I talked about the joke while Sis listened, she started to get this seriously demented look on her face.

“Jerry, this is either going to be the best April Fools joke ever tried or it’s going to bomb so bad you won’t be able to sit down for a month.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence Sis.”

“You two are seriously nuts. Let me know how it all works out.”

Tom and I leave the house headed for joke history.

At his house we wait around for a bit until we hear his Mom coming back inside and then begin our spiel.

“...should call the baby Second, that would make it’s name Second Nature.” Oh yeah, Tom’s last name is Nature. Sort of gets him into a lot of trouble since most of the kids rib him pretty badly about it. Another reason he is shy and has trouble getting dates.

“Or maybe Contrary, which would fit well. Contrary Nature. You know, Tom; we’ve got to do something about all this quickly. Pregnancy isn’t something that goes away overnight.”

“Yeah, yeah. Mary relax. I’m sure Mom can come up with something that will help. Maybe you could get an abortion, we’re both kinda young to get married.”

We didn’t even get to go into our last paragraph because Tom’s Mom came into the room like a thunderbolt.

“THOMAS NATURE, you sit down in that chair over there and be quiet. As for you, young lady, you are going away where you may have your baby without being a problem for Tom’s future.”

She begins mumbling something I didn’t catch and I get this really weird feeling. Everything seems to be getting bigger. It’s only a few seconds before I discover everything isn’t getting bigger, I’m getting smaller. That freaks me out so I start screaming. Tom starts talking and my screams begin to become quieter as I hear him explaining the April Fools joke to his Mom. I’m still trying to figure out what the H***s going on and the reason everything seems so strange. By now Tom has finished explaining and his Mom looks at him and then at me and starts laughing. I look at her like she’s gone nuts and then Tom looks at me and starts laughing too.

“I can’t change her back because then she could let everyone know. It would be easier to make people forget about her. As for you, young lady, you will have a penance for the next two years. You are going into skirts.”

“Aw, Mom.”

“No argument or it will be for five years.”

That conversation has me a little frightened and I’m afraid to look at myself so I cover my eyes with my hands but finally curiosity gets the better of me and I look down...

That’s all I remember. Next thing I know I wake up in this monkey house with all the goofballs and nuts. After four escape attempts and the change of my lock to a combination I don’t stand a prayer of getting myself out of here without outside help.

A month or so later I see this lady and what appears to be her daughter coming over toward the cell. They are pointing and the older woman points at me then the younger one takes a good look and her mouth drops open but she covers it quickly with her hand. I reach out toward then plaintively hoping they will do something to get me out of here.

“She’s pregnant, Mom.”

“It would seem your little joke backfired badly, wouldn’t it?”

“But she was my best friend, Mom.”

“Perhaps the next time you will think twice before playing April Fools jokes. Have you learned your lesson?”

“Yes Mom.”

“Good. Now if you’re a good girl these next two years I’ll give you the opportunity to change back.”

“What about her? Can she change back too?”

“I don’t think so. Humans don’t take to understanding this sort of thing very well.”

I watch as they turn and walk away. I’ve learned my lesson too but have no way of telling them. Dejected, I turn and leap across to another tree limb. A prehensile tail isn’t all bad once you get used to it, but the fur itches a bit.

It just goes to prove... It’s not nice, to fool Mother Nature.

 © 2010 by Rénae Dáºmas. This work may not be replicated or presented in whole or in part by any means electronic or otherwise without the express consent of the work’s Owner (copyright holder), with the exception of the private and non-commercial viewing by the reader who is also the end purchaser. ALL Rights Reserved, including but not limited to ownership of Characters, final content decision, and more. This is a work of Fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this story are fictional and any resemblance to real people or incidents past, present or future is purely coincidental. Any and all images which may be shown within this work are taken through license under Corel. Any sketches provided for the work are by Terry Volkirch. No affiliations, involvement or gender assignations through the use of these or any images or sketches of subjects contained within this work are to be implied, intended or inferred. An Aldoennetti Original.