The Good Son: 5 Final

 

Sometimes you're living a lie and you don't know it. As Jack tells his story,
you'll see what I mean. This is the finale of this story. To be honest, it's
been hard to write and I cannot thank you all enough for all of the support
that you have offered throughout the last few days as I've posted the
installments.

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Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope you like where this story took us. As always, please comment - pro and con. ~Clara.
 
This version of The Good Son: 5 Final has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
 
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.

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Chapter 5
 

Chelsea dropped us off at the Marriott, which was a lot fancier than I expected. Julia took care of all the checking-in procedures since I had no idea how to do any of it. I sent Ria a text and Julia suggested that she should join us for dinner, which was a really nice idea. I was feeling really sad and seeing Ria sounded like a nice idea.

We found our room, which was also nicer than I expected, and then we went down to the lobby to wait for Ria.

"Hey, girls!" she said with a warm smile when she arrived. She hugged Julia, then hugged me and gave me a comforting kiss. "I trust that things did not go well, then?"

"Not with my mom, no," I said, "but with my aunt and Ronny... it couldn't have gone better."

"Well, that's some good news," she said, with a small smile. "Your mom loves you though, Jacky. She'll come around."

"Correction," I said. "My mom LOVED me. I'm not so sure any more."

"Really?" She grimaced. "That bad?"

"Let's eat and talk about it," Julia suggested. "I'm really hungry."

We went into the lobby restaurant and ordered our food while Julia and I explained the carnage that had occurred at our house that day.

"She didn't throw you out, though, did she?" Ria asked.

"No," Julia explained. "It's just been a very long and enlightening day and Jack needed some quiet time. I'm just here to chaperone and make sure he's ok. We're kind of in uncharted territory for us."

As we ate and I finally relaxed a bit, I became a bit more aware of the fact that I was in a restaurant dressed in my rather short dress. Yes, I was wearing my tights, too, but I was acutely aware of my need to keep my legs crossed at my knees and sit more straight than usual. I enjoyed looking nice, but kind of missed being able to sit back like a schlub and relax.

"Hey," we heard a very tired voice say from behind me. It was Avery with two duffel bags. She dropped one beside my seat and flopped into the fourth chair at our table. "That one is for both of you. You guys are lucky you stayed here."

"Yeah?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Let's just say it wasn't pleasant. Your mom was waiting for you and she was out for blood."

"I sent her a text before we even got here," Julia said.

"Yeah, well she hadn't seen it and she was PISSED that you guys didn't come home. I think she got even madder when we told her that Aunt Ann and Ronny had reconciled. My mom tried to calm her down, but she just lost it and went berserk, threatening both of you if you didn't come home and then threatening me and Chelsea if we didn't go get you and bring you home within an hour."

"I'm sorry, Avery," I said. "Maybe I should call her."

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no," my cousin laughed. "Besides that, my mom took away your mom's phone and told her to calm down, and then there's the small matter that Chelsea told your mom to go fuck herself before we stormed out the door. So, that may make it a little difficult to talk to either your mom or mine tonight."

"What!?" both my sister and I shouted in disbelief.

"You heard me. I'm telling you, Chelsea has become a badass in the last hour." Avery shook her head. "I really don't know if this is something we're going to get past, guys. It was really bad." Despite her usual smart ass attitude, Avery's eyes were glistening with tears. I could see that she was worried.

"So, what are you going to do about tonight?" Ria asked.

"Why do you think I have two duffle bags?" She sighed, then she nodded towards the lobby where Chelsea was crossing towards us. "Chelsea just booked a room for us, too." She waved down our waitress and ordered two French dip sandwiches and two iced teas.

"Hi, guys," Chelsea said as she arrived.

I stood and grabbed a chair from the next table as she put down her purse and hotel paperwork, but before she sat, she looked at me and said, "Come here."

She pulled me into the tightest hug I think I'd ever felt and she held me there for a long, long time. "Jacky, Jacky, Jacky," she kept saying. Finally, she loosened her grip, but did not let me go. "Geez, did you hit the nail on the head, Jacky. Our family needs therapy more than we need food. We've got a rough road ahead of us, but you did the right thing, Jacky and I love you even more for doing it." She kissed my forehead. "You're the best, Jacky."

More out of confusion than appreciation, I smiled a little. "Thanks, Chels. I love you, too. And I'm sorry that everything's so messed up."

"It'll get better, Jacky. It'll get better. Anything is better than the lies we've been living with."

I nodded. That had to be true.

"Come on, Chelsea," Avery said. "Sit down. You're making a scene. What will the neighbors say." That last remark was a dig at my mother and was funny enough to make Chelsea snicker and let me go and sit down.

We all sat and talked about how we'd face our moms the next day, but agreed that best thing to do was to approach them with level heads. Chelsea and I agreed that we'd both gotten a lot of pent up emotion out already and that we needed to plan our next day's attack with more maturity then we'd displayed so far.

"Speaking as an outsider," Ria said, "I don't think you should beat yourselves up for getting carried away. I mean, you guys learned a lot today and you didn't have any time to process any of it. Your moms are middle aged women who had knowledge of these issues all along. You guys are essentially kids who are discovering all of these things today. I think you've handled yourselves pretty damned well, under the circumstances."

After my cousins had their dinner, we all went to our rooms, Avery and Chelsea were right across the hall from us. There weren't a lot of people on our floor, so our doors were left open till we we went to bed. Ria stayed and sat and watched some TV with me until nine thirty or so. Then she went home. Being on the outside of the situation and being able to offer us a fresh point of view did help to calm us all down a lot, though. She had been good source of common sense in a tumultuous time and for me, it was nice to have someone to hold on to after having such a terrible day.

At about ten thirty, Aunt Mary called my cell, which was surprising. I would have expected her to call one of her own kids rather than me.

"Hi, auntie," I answered, cautiously.

"Hi, Jacky." She sounded exhausted. "Honey... we have a lot to talk about and... sweetheart, I don't think that hiding out is the best way to handle it. I think you and the girls need to come home."

I sighed and said, "Auntie, we plan to come home tomorrow, but my mom put me through a lot today. I need some time to process things."

"Ok, honey, but, let's be fair. You put her through a lot, too. You know how she feels about you dressing up in Avery's clothes, then throwing Ronny at her, too, honey... there's a lot more to that story than you know."

"Auntie, I know a lot more to that story than you think I do... and Auntie... I know a lot more about my father than you think I do, too."

My aunt went silent for a long time

"See, Auntie," I said, "like I said, my mother has put me through a lot today... and not just today. My mother has been putting all of us through a lot and I need to get my head around it. If you think that I'm being selfish by asking for one night to figure out how to deal with all of that... well... then I guess I'm being pretty selfish, but... I do need it. And as for the girls... not only do I think that they need it, too, but... Auntie... they're worried about me, so they're here to help me. I know that makes them pretty terrible, too, but... there you go. We're all pretty horrible and ungrateful, I guess."

I knew I was being a sarcastic, passive/aggressive jerk, but I couldn't help it.

It took another moment, but my aunt asked, "Jack... do Avery and Chelsea know about their dad, too?"

I didn't know how to answer that, so after a couple of seconds, I said, "I think you'd better talk to them about that."

"Oh, Lord," she whispered. Then, gathering herself, she said, "Jacky... there's a lot to discuss... just... come home tomorrow. Ok? Please. And bring the girls with you. All of you come home. Please."

"We will, Auntie. We will."

I slept fitfully in my flannel nightgown and got up early and showered. I used the hotel's blow dryer to give my body a permed hair a little more body. I needed a little help from Julia to do my makeup.

"Listen, Jacky," she said as she worked on a subtle look for my eyes, "I know that you and mom are at each other's throats, but you need to remember that there four others involved here, ok?" She stopped and looked me in the eye. "Remember, this is about a lot more than just you wearing pretty clothes. This is about Auntie Ann and Ronny. Ronny's 'suicide' attempt. All the lies that we've been told for so long... Don't just focus on wanting to wear a dress and makeup whenever you want, ok?"

I nodded. "Jules... I'm not interested in becoming a woman, like Ronny, you know. I just... like it. I like... I don't know... I like the clothes and being... girly sometimes, I guess. I like exploring that part of me. The fact that you guys get a kick out of it and Ria finds it sexy makes it all that much more exciting, but... yeah, it's a part of me... of who I am, but... I think my fight with mom and Aunt Mary is really about Ronny. I can't believe they allowed things to go so far with her. I want her back in the family where she belongs."

Julia nodded. "I agree. Aunt Ann needs her."

"Yeah, but... Ronny needs us, too and..." It seemed weird to say, but it also seemed right. "... how can we be a family if we can't heal what happened between Chelsea and Ronny? I know that's optimistic, but... who knows."

She smiled and kissed my forehead. "Yeah. Who knows, Jacky?" she finished and stood. "I'm going to take a quick shower. I'll be right out."

I pulled out the clothes that Avery had packed for me and found a pair of thong panties, which made me leery of what came next. What came next was a pair of black yoga pants, so I suppose the thong panties made sense, but they did pose a problem.

The knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. When I answered it, I found a fully dressed Avery carrying a roll of medical gauze and and medical tape. She looked at the panties I was holding in my hand and smiled. "Would you feel more comfortable if your sister or your cousin taped up your little fella before you put on your panties?"

I glanced up and down the hall to see if anyone else had heard her remarks. Luckily the coast was clear. "You have no sense of discretion at all, do you?" I asked.

She giggled. "What's your point? Do you want me to do this, or Jules?"

Since Julia was in the shower, I just shook my head. "Come on in."

It is funny how quickly you get used to other people invading your privacy. Avery was quick and didn't do anything to humiliate me. She had me tucked and taped quickly and soon I was looking very natural in my black thong.

"You do need to shave a bit better if you're going to be wearing such scanty things." She couldn't help but tease when she saw me in the panties.

"I'll keep that in mind." I smirked.

"Seriously, Jacky. You need to make sure that you're completely hairless. Maybe use some Nair or go see someone at a salon to have it all done right."

Just then Julia entered from the bathroom, naked and drying herself, and at the same time Chelsea knocked on the door and Avery let her in without a second thought.

Chelsea glanced at my crotch and remarked, "Well, I guess we're all girls, now."

"Yeah, I guess." I smirked and pulled on the yoga pants.

"If you think those helped make you look more manly," Julia giggled, "you're mistaken."

I shook my head as I hopped a little and pulled the pants up tight around my waist, then looked in the bag and found a pair of ankle socks. I pulled those on, but saw no shoes, so I went on to the lightly padded bra and then the blouse - which was really pretty! It was a peasant blouse that Aunt Mary had given to Avery last Christmas and I had told Avery how pretty it was, but Avery did not agree. She thought it was too frilly. It was red lace with a keyhole neckline, three quarter, bell sleeves. It kind of hugged my very modest breasts, then hung freely to its handkerchief hem line. I loved it from the moment I saw it and was thrilled to have the opportunity to wear it.

"This is beautiful!" I bubbled as I pulled it over my head.

"It's outrageously flouncy, and fussy, but I knew you liked it, so consider it yours." Avery smiled.

"So much for 'poco a poco,'" my sister snickered.

"You're still naked," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I can make this work," she smiled and posed. She pulled the clothes the girls had brought for her out of the duffle bag, too.

"So, is he going to walk around the campus in socks?" Chelsea asked. I could see that Chelsea was still a little stressed, and rightfully so. Sure, I'd kicked the hornet's nest, but Chelsea had the most to deal with in the conversations that were sure to occupy our evenings for the next few weeks. She had every right to be stressed.

Avery looked at my stocking footed feet. "Ok, you have two choices. I'll wear what you don't want to. You can wear my white Adidas with the red trim, which should go really well with this blouse..."

"Or?" I asked when she didn't say anything else.

"Or, I have these cute ankle boots with two inch heels. They're black and easy to walk in. The heel will elongate your legs and make your butt stick out a bit, too. The guys love that. What do you want?"

"I'll go with the Adidas today, I think," I answered. "The boots sound nice, but I have a lot of acreage to cover getting from the old building for Wilson's lecture, then to theater for Johnson's and then to the library for Abaku's so sneakers make more sense. Thanks, though."

"Ok," Avery said, sounding a little deflated, "but if you're going to be a little fashion queen, you're going to have to learn to suffer for your beauty."

"I'm not going to be..." I started to say, but Avery had already left the room.

"She's just poking at you," Chelsea said. "Are you sure you're up to all of this in one day? I mean, presenting yourself as a girl at school then taking on your mom in... well... girl mode, I guess... all at once? Wouldn't it be easier to do it a little at a time?"

"Probably," I shrugged, "but I've already dug the hole so deep that I might just as well keep going."

Chelsea looked at Julia and shook her head. "He's pretty stubborn." Then she seemed to realize that my sister was still naked. "You know, it's no wonder he's the way he is. For nineteen years we've been walking around naked in front of him. At least put some panties on, for crying out loud."

"Just about to," Julia laughed and stepped into a pair.

"Here you go," Avery reentered carrying a pair of white Adidas sneakers with red highlights. She displayed the boots that she was wearing. "You could have made your debut in these cuties, but you made your choice."

"Oh, Geez, it's getting late," Chelsea said, looking at her watch. "Come on, get your ass in gear," she said, swatting Julia's pantied butt. "I have a nine o'clock class. The rest of you can have breakfast in the cafeteria. I'll grab a muffin in the lobby. Avery, will you check us out?"

"Yes, captain!" She saluted as they hurried across the hall to grab their bags.

I threw our stuff into our duffle bag.

"Chelsea is right," Julia said as she finished dressing, "you don't have to do it all at once."

"I know," I said, closing the zipper, "but I might as well get it all over with in one big fight rather than have a million little fights, right?"

I reached for the door knob, but Julia grabbed my other hand, "Hey! You know this isn't just your fight, right? We're all in this with you. Your OUR little brother, Jacky, and we're here to fight for you and with you. This Ronny thing is complicated, but mom and Aunt Mary are wrong, plain and simple. We'll work out the Chelsea stuff between Ronny and Chelsea. As for the Dad stuff... that's just messed up and... well there's just a lot of crap to deal with and we're all in this with you. You're not alone."

I nodded and smiled. "Ok. Thanks, Jules."

Then, out of the blue, my twin sister did something I cannot remember her ever doing before. She hugged me and she kissed my cheek. "I love you, you know, Jacky. Whatever you do, please don't just storm off and leave. Don't leave me, alright? I can't handle that. Ok?"

I felt like I was going to cry. "Yeah, Jules. Ok. I promise. I'll control my temper. It'll all work out. I promise."

She let me go and stepped back. "Ok. Thanks." She smiled at me. "Let's go."

School went surprisingly well. Avery had to have a little fun, of course. When we arrived at campus, she saw Ria waiting and she went over to her and hugged her saying, "Hey, babe. You look great, today."

Ria only took a second to respond, "Nice try, Avery, but I can tell the difference." She came over and hugged me.

"How could you tell?" Avery asked, genuinely ticked off.

Ria shook her head. "Your boobs felt real when you hugged me."

Avery looked at her chest and shook her head. "Curse you, you dead giveaways."

On a typical day, I really didn't interact with all that many people on campus. I just kind of bounced from one lecture to another without saying much to anyone. That day, though, several female students told me they liked my blouse, two or three said 'hi' to me thinking I was Avery, which made me laugh a little, and when I sat in my Civics lecture hall, a guy sat close to me, in the row behind me. I'd seen him there before and never thought twice about him, but this time I noticed that he definitely took note of me and moved a bit closer than usual. We'd been sitting there for five minutes or so and the class was about to start when he leaned over the back of the seat next to me and said, "Umm, hey, excuse me."

I turned and said, "Hi?"

He smiled. "Hi... Jack, right?"

I was a little surprised that he knew my name. I didn't know his. "Yeah. Right. I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"Ken." He smiled. "I just wanted to say that you look good. I didn't know that you were... you know... well... a girl. I'm sorry, but you never showed it off before. You look good."

"Oh..." I didn't know quite what to do or say. "I... umm... well... thanks, but..."

"Hey," Ken said, "relax, I understand." He smiled and held up a hand. "I'm just telling you that you look good. That's all." He smiled broadly. "I'm just being supportive. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. You look nice and I wanted you to know it. That's all."

I breathed a little easier. "Oh... yeah. Thanks. I appreciate it." It was a little odd, still it was nice to hear, though.

Other than that, the school day was uneventful. Every time I saw Ria, she seemed to find a way to 'accidentally' brush her hand against the flat front of my yoga pants and make some sort of remark about it, but other that that, not much to report.

My classes ended at two and I met up with Avery and Chelsea in the cafeteria. We had to wait around until nearly three for Julia and Ria to get out of their last class. We all walked out to the parking lot together.

Ria held my hand tighter than usual and as we approached our beat up old car, Ria pulled me a little closer.

"Listen, Jacky, if you want me to come with you for moral support, I will. I won't get involved or anything, I'll just be there to hold your hand, if you want."

I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it. "Thanks, Ria, but I think this might be something that the family needs to do on its own. I do wish we were doing it in a councilor's office, but maybe this is the first step. Who knows?"

She stopped walking, and stopped me as well. With me in sneakers and her in some pretty nice looking, knee high, high heeled boots, she had a few inches on me. She pulled me in close and leaned my head back and kissed me very passionately, prompting groans and remarks of 'Get a room,' and 'Too much PDA' from my family members, but Ria ignored them.

"Remember, babe; I'm just a phone call away. Alright? If you don't feel safe, just call."

I smiled. "Thanks, but I think I have three bodyguards watching out for me."

Ria looked over my head and said, "You'd better take care of my..." she glanced at me and smiled, "... girlfriend! If anything happens to her, I will be very upset."

She was only teasing, of course, and I thought it was kind of funny, but when I turned and looked at the girls, there were no smiles.

"Look, Ria," Chelsea said, "you may not be up to speed on all of this, but our other male cousin nearly died castrating himself because of our mothers. This conversation we're having this afternoon is really important to all of us. We're not kidding. This is really important - to Jack and me more than anyone. This is really serious. Ok?"

"Yeah, sure." Ria nodded and let me go. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make light of..."

"No, no, no..." I held up my hands. "You didn't do anything wrong. We're just all wicked stressed." I kissed her lips once more. "I'll call or text or something later and let you know how everything goes, ok? And if I need you, I'll call, too. I love you." I kissed her cheek and trotted over to the girls.

"I love you, too," Ria said, sounding a little hurt. "Good luck, guys. I'll be thinking about you."

Now, on Mondays, our mothers typically worked until five thirty or six and were never home before seven. So, imagine how surprised we were to find their cars in the driveway when we pulled in at three thirty.

"Well, shit," Avery muttered.

"No kidding," Julia muttered as well. "I thought we'd have a little time to get ready."

"Nothing we can do about it, now," Chelsea sighed.

"Nope," I agreed. "The faster we get it started, the faster it'll be done." I said, and I think I sounded a little more resigned to my fate than I'd wanted to.

"Alright," Chelsea said, as she shut off the car, "remember - we are a united group, right? Now, I know it's going to be hard, but don't let them get you mad, ok? Stay calm."

"Especially you," Julia said to me.

I was about to question why she'd single me out, but Avery spoke before I could, and she addressed Chelsea. "And you."

Chelsea nodded. "I know. I really lost my cool last night. It won't happen again. I promise."

"Alright, then," Avery said, making eye contact with all of us in turn. "Let's go."

We all got out of the car and braced ourselves as we walked towards the kitchen door. When we entered, we were a little disheartened to find our mothers already seated at the kitchen table, giving them the upper hand before the meeting even began.

"Well, welcome home, GIRLS," my mother said, rather derisively. "Have a seat."

"Before we do," I said, trying to level the playing field, "I'd like some tea. Can I make some for anyone else?"

"Sure," all the girls said.

"Actually, yes, I'd like some tea," Aunt Mary said, earning a sideways sneer from my mother.

"I'll make you one, too, mom," I smiled as I set about filling the kettle. The girls seemed to understand my methods and they grabbed tea cups, spoons, tea bags and even some shortbread cookies.

"Take a breath, Deidre," I heard my aunt whisper to my mother. "There's no reason we can't be civilized."

I heard my mother huff a bit, but that was ok. That meant we were balancing the power dynamics in the room.

After a few minutes, we were all seated, we all had a cup of tea and a tea bag to occupy ourselves instead of just staring at each other, and something to nibble on if we needed a few moments to think or a few moments to cool down.

NOW we were ready.

My mother looked at me and shook her head. "You realize you look ridiculous."

"I disagree," I said calmly, bobbing my teabag up and down. "I think I look like Avery and I think Avery is a very attractive young woman."

"Aww, thank you, Jack," Avery said.

"You know what I mean," my mother said, getting frustrated already. "You're a boy, Jack. You shouldn't be flouncing around in something like that."

"I don't believe I flounced once, today, mom. In fact, I think I carried myself with grace and dignity. In fact, I received more compliments on how I looked today than I have received all year. From both girls and boys."

"And that's what you want, then? To attract the attention of boys? You're going to tell me that you're gay, too? Just like Ronny?"

"In fact, I am not," I smiled as I used two hands to lift my tea cup to my lips and blow softly across the surface of the hot fluid. "I am one hundred percent heterosexual, but I do have a need to express myself in this manner, mom, and this is something that is very acceptable in today's society."

"Well, it is not acceptable in this household."

"Well, it needs to be, mom, because I live in this household, as do my sister and my cousins and my Aunt Ann and all of them are very accepting of this. In fact, I think that, if you were not so overbearing, Aunt Mary may admit that she is fine with it to, but I'm not going to put her on the spot right now. Let's just say, for now, that you and Aunt Mary are opposed to me dressing like this and Aunt Ann, Avery, Chelsea, Julia and I are ok with it. That's still five in favor and two against. If we were to add in Ronny, that's six to two..."

"Ronny doesn't live here," my mother snapped. "Ronny will never live here. Is that clear?"

"Let's put Ronny's residence aside for a moment, mom," I said, "and let's get back to problem number one - my need to express myself in this manner. If I continue to dress like this - which, incidentally, no one else seems to have a problem with, can I continue to live here?"

"No," my mother said, flatly.

"Yes, he can," Julia said just as flatly, followed by Chelsea and Avery.

"Oh, really?" My mother folded her arms.

"We pay pay rent, mom," Julia said firmly, although she was having a hard time making eye contact with our mother, "so we have some say what is allowed and what is not."

"Well," our mother smirked, "perhaps you should look at the name on the mortgage some time."

"Perhaps you should, Deidre," Aunt Mary said nervously.

"What?"

"Come on, Didi. My name is on the mortgage, too. But that aside, Jack's a great kid. So what if he wears pretty clothes? He looks great. I'm glad that blouse is getting some use. I loved it when I bought it and Avery wouldn't even try it on. Look at him, Didi. He looks fine. He and Avery look like twins - just like we always said Chelsea and Julia did. Come on. What's the big deal?"

My mother was about ready to explode. "What's the big deal!? Mary, what will the neighbors think if they see MY SON coming and going in dresses and wearing makeup!?"

"Auntie," Chelsea said in a very gentle voice, "I hardly know the neighbors anymore and I'm sure they don't know us any better. Jack looks really pretty. They'll just see another girl and besides - who cares what they think? Jack is our little brother and we want him to be able to express every part of himself - and that includes this part. Please, Auntie. You need to look at Jack and just see Jack. Please."

She shook her head. "Jack this is just so wrong. I mean, it's a sin, Jack. The Bible says..."

"Ok, stop right there, mom," I held up my hand. "There's way too much to discuss in that statement and if you're going to use The Bible as a weapon, then maybe you should read it before wielding it. I have read it, several times in fact, and I know every verse that condemns the wearing of clothes of the opposite sex and it condemns the slacks you're wearing as much as the blouse I'm wearing. It also condemns a lot of other behavior that we all partake in every day. Besides, except for a few Christmases and Easters when we were little, you haven't set foot in a church enough times to start preaching to me."

She knew I had a point, so she took a different tact. "Ok, but what about your career. You want to be a teacher, Jack. Do you seriously think that a school is going to hire a man who dresses like a woman to work children?"

"I can answer that," Avery offered. "The school where I did my observations last semester had three gender fluid teachers and it didn't seem to raise any eyebrows at all."

When my mother seemed to run out of steam, Chelsea spoke. "In order to put this matter to rest and move on to the next issue, can I propose a trial period from now until the end of the semester? If things go well, then Jacky can continue to live in this gender fluid manner, but if there are any issues that upset things in the household, then we can revisit things in this kind of a calm, businesslike manner, say, in late May or early June?"

My mother just glared at me, but Aunt Mary said, "What do you say, Didi? That seems reasonable, doesn't it?"

My mother finally shook her head. "Alright, but I am not happy with this situation at all."

I nodded and smiled at Chelsea. "Thank you," I mouthed. Then to my mother, I said, "Thank you, mom. I appreciate that."

She shook her head and looked a bit disgusted. "So... what else did you want to discuss?"

"Well," I braced myself, "we really do need to talk about Ronny."

"No," my mother said, adamantly, "we most certainly do not need to discuss him. That man will never live in this house, again."

"Ok, calm down, now, Didi," Aunt Mary said.

"Are you on their side on everything?" my mother snapped.

"I'm not on anyone's side, Didi, but let's just hear them out. Ann needs help and Ronny is offering some assistance. I think we need to at least consider it."

"After what that little shit did to YOUR daughter? I'm shocked you'd even consider letting him back into this house." My mother knew how to flex her muscles in ways I had never understood before. She was a bully of the highest caliber.

"Ok," I stopped her attack. "Chelsea has told us what happened to her, mom, and that was ten years ago. Ronny lived here for almost seven years after that, and she has come and gone prior to her living as a women with no problem, so let's not pretend that she's not allowed here now because she attacked Chelsea."

"SHE!" my mother scoffed. She looked at Aunt Mary for support. "What kind of a world do we live in where a man can just decide that he's a woman and everyone just agrees to call him a SHE? This whole thing is ridiculous."

"Alright, let's stop all of this deflecting and evading," Chelsea said, obviously getting irritated and trying to hold it together. "Whatever happened that day happened between Ronny and me and we are going to work that out..."

"Oh, isn't that nice," my mother interrupted.

"Yes, auntie, it is," Avery put her hand on Chelsea's arm to calm her and she spoke for a moment to give Chelsea time to breathe. "Chelsea has been carrying that pain around for a longtime without sharing it with anyone because neither you nor her own mother were mature enough to get an eighteen year old boy who'd been drinking hard for years, or a twelve year old girl who'd just been attacked by that boy, who also happened to be her cousin, any counseling. So, YES, that is NICE. It's NICE that something positive is finally happening in this family."

My mother's eyes narrowed and she looked at Avery as if she was about to attack. "You have no idea what we did..."

"No, Didi," my Aunt Mary stopped my mother. "She's right. We should have gotten Ronny help when he was thirteen or fourteen and we knew it. So did Annie. Chelsea paid a price for that and I should have gotten her help too." She looked at Chelsea and Aunt Mary's face dissolved into tears. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."

Chelsea sniffled and nodded, but turned her head away to avoid weakening her resolve. She took a breath and resumed her slow march to her point. "Ronny needs to be here to help Aunt Ann, but we all understand that she can't just move back in. So, we would like her to be able to come in the afternoons after she gets out of work and leave after dinner. Just three hours a day or so to help her mother. Then on weekends, say a few hours on Saturdays a maybe a little longer on Sundays when you two work, anyway. Would that be acceptable?"

My mother fumed for a few moments, looked to Aunt Mary, but got no support there, and finally said, "Alright, but he has to be dressed in men's clothing."

"No," Julia spoke up. "Ronny is a woman, now. She will dress anyway she feels comfortable."

"Then no," my mother said with no feeling at all.

"Mom," I finally rejoined the conversation, "would you really hurt your own sister that much just to hurt Ronny?"

She huffed a little, but didn't respond.

"Mom... how many times did Ronny reach out to all of you before she nearly killed herself?" I asked, quietly.

"That..." My mother shook her head at the memory. "... that... what he did to himself was the act of a spoilt brat trying to hurt his mother."

"No, mom. That was the result of a spoilt brat hurting her sister and her son for years. Ronny begged for help through her actions for years and every adult in her life turned her back on her. When she finally figured out who she was and asked for help again, every adult turned her back again. Are you going to turn your back YET AGAIN? Should we start waving Bible verses about forgiveness, or family, or a hundred other things around, mom, because in this case they actually ARE applicable. Mom... please... be the woman I always thought you were. Please... Ronny's your niece or at least your nephew. Auntie Ann is your sister. Please, mom... please... find some space in your heart to let them be together now, when they really need each other."

She looked at me and then at Julia. "Do you two think I'm some kind of a monster?"

"No, mom," Julia said, "but you need to stop worrying about what other people think and start thinking about 'us.' About all of us. Not just you and me and Jack, but the whole family. That includes Ronny and Ronny is your niece, now. Not your nephew. She's trying to put her life together and she needs your help."

"To your credit," Chelsea said, "none of us would have known anything about Ronny if you hadn't raised Jacky so well. Even though Ronny was a jerk to him, Jack bent over backwards to make sure that she was ok and found her when she didn't want to be found. Jacky's a good kid, auntie. You should be proud of him... no matter what he's wearing."

She stared at my sister and me. "I'm not evil. I'm really not."

"I know, mom," Julia said, "but you need to be more open to what the people around you need. Not just worrying about what the neighbors think."

"Mom," I said as gently as I could, "I don't want to be at odds with you forever. I love you, but I can't accept these limitations on me, and I certainly can't allow you to interfere with Aunt Ann and Ronny's relationship just because I love you. Please, don't make me leave."

And then... it was weird... it's was like everything changed. My mother's eyes had gotten watery while I was speaking and when I asked her not to make me leave, she seemed to choke up a little. I was surprised when she reached across the table and took my hand. "I'm not going to make you leave. I really do love you, Jacky. And I am very proud of you." Then she took Julia's hand. "I love you, too, Jules." Then she let go of our hands and took each of my cousins' hands in hers. "I love you girls, too."

Finally, she sat back. "Alright, Ronny can come in to help after work on a probationary basis, but... no drinking or drugs. Understood?"

"Understood," we all agreed.

"Ok." She nodded. "And I'm sorry... for... all of this, I guess," she said. She looked around. "Are we done?"

"Well," Aunt Mary sighed, "actually... there is something else we need to talk about."

The next two hours were a painful, but eye opening discussion of our mothers' divorces and their flights from unforgiving families as well as long apologies for the lies we'd been told our whole lives about our father's having died in military service. By bedtime, I think we were all emotional wrecks, but a lot of doors had been opened and the need for some real therapy was finally agreed upon.

The next day I dressed a little more girlish - just a bit. I wore leggings with a baby blue, cable knit sweater that was long enough to be a dress. Again a gift someone had given Avery that she thought was too girly, but which I had kind of envied from the moment I had seen it. This time, I did take her up on the cute little boots, though and it did make me look a bit more feminine.

Ria loved the new look, too. Once again finding reasons to accidentally rub against my flat lower abdomen in a playful manner.

Chelsea wanted to be the one to call Ronny and tell her the news. Ronny was very happy to be returning to family, even in a probational status.

After school, all of us, even Ria, went to the hospital to visit Aunt Ann. She looked much better. We told her that Ronny was going to be able to be with her in the afternoons and she was very happy to hear that.

"And your mother was ok with that?" she asked Julia.

"Of course." My sister smiled as if there had never been any reason for concern. "We're all family, auntie. We just want what's best for you."

Avery and Chelsea smiled at me.

Aunt Ann looked at all of us and smiled. "You all look so pretty, but I don't know how I'm going to tell my two Averys apart."

"Jacky's the girlier one," Avery teased.

"You laugh," Aunt Ann smiled, "but have you seen my son?" She shook her head. "I have to admit... he does seem much happier."

"She, auntie," I corrected her. "We all have to remember to refer to Ronny as 'she' from now on. She's working very hard to be a woman and we owe her that."

My aunt took my hand. "Ok, Jacky. I guess that you would know better than anyone else."

I chuckled.

"So, Jacky..." She eyed me. "Are you going to have yourself snipped, too?"

"Oh, auntie, don't say that!" I said, a bit revolted, especially considering how Ronnie had actually castrated herself.

"I'm only using the same word that Ronnie used," she said, pulling me down to sit on the edge of her bed, beside her. "Now, I know I'm being nosy, but I ignored the whole situation in Ronny's case and look at all the pain I caused and I don't want to do the same with you. So... here you are, looking very pretty in you're leggings and sweater... so, I'm asking... Do you plan to become a woman, too?"

I took her hand and kissed it. "No, auntie, I don't. I want to keep all my plumbing in tact and I want to keep right on being you're nephew. I just want to be... prettier. That's all."

She peaked at Ria and whispered, "And that cute girlfriend of yours? She's ok with this?"

"Yes, I'm fine with it," Ria laughed. "I think he's adorable."

"Auntie," Avery jumped in, "you should see the dress she bought him! Oh! I'm so jealous of it and he won't let me wear it until he does." She gave me a playful slap. "He's so selfish."

Aunt Ann laughed at that. "You'll have to show me when I get home. Whenever that is."

"I will," I promised.

"Honestly," my Aunt said, looking at the girls, "I can't understand these boys wanting to be girls. It seems so much harder than being a boy. You have so much less say in your life than a boy does. It takes so much longer to get ready. Everything you do is judged by everyone. Breasts are such a burden - they're always in the way. Then, for biological women, there's the messy things like periods and lactation and all of the maintenance that goes with being female... But all these boys see are the pretty clothes."

"No, auntie, that's not all that it is," I laughed. "For me, it's... I guess it's just being able to express a part of myself that I can't usually express. When I look like this... I feel like a different person and I feel better being able to express myself this way."

Aunt Ann smiled and pet my hand.

"But for Ronny..." I continued. "Auntie, I think it's really important that everyone understands that Ronny isn't just expressing a side of herself, like I am. Ronny was desperately unhappy as a man and had a need to be a woman. That's a whole different thing than me, auntie. Ronny has always been a woman inside. Now, she's becoming one outside."

She looked at me for a long moment, then used her other hand to wave me towards her. "Come here and hug me."

I leaned over and hugged my poor, weak aunt.

"Promise me something, Jacky," she said, quietly.

"Sure, auntie."

"Stay with Ronny. She probably doesn't know it, but she needs you."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "She's had a hard time getting rid of me so far, auntie."

Ronny did what she needed to do to get a license with her new gender listed on it and she managed to work out a schedule with some friends to borrow cars to get her to the hospital for the next couple of weeks and be with my aunt every night until she had her hip replacement surgeries and then was sent home. Once she was home, Ronny was at our house nearly every night, at first avoiding my mother like the plague, but eventually they did start seeing each other and that, eventually, led to some levels of civility. Through my Aunt Mary's intervention, there even came one night when Julia, Ria and I walked into the kitchen to find that Ronny was joining us all for dinner. To say I was shocked would be an understatement, but it was a pleasant shock!

Chelsea spoke to people in the psych department, who gave her many recommendations for family therapists in our area. She spent hours on line researching these people, then interviewed therapist after therapist after therapist until she found a practice that she felt would be a good fit for us. We started meeting in small groups and then all together and, honestly, I think we've made some real progress as a family. I mean, I think I always knew we were kind of a repressed group of people, but we were happy enough - BUT THEN we found out that any happiness that we thought we might have had was really a lie. That could have destroyed us, right, but it didn't. Somehow, all the screaming and swearing and even the slapping (although I wouldn't recommend the slapping) eventually led to some real healing. Now, I think we're on our way to becoming... functional. Really. I think someday we might actually get there.

So, I guess that wraps up my story...

... well...

...except...

Remember those tickets for that show in Boston that I gave Ria for Christmas? Well, it turns out that Ria made some plans to give me a present that night, too. My plan had been to drive into the city, have dinner in a nice restaurant (you may remember that I gave her a gift certificate for dinner at a restaurant of her choice) see the show, then drive home. A nice, dressed up, grown up evening.

Ria had other ideas, though.

See, as you know, I was still a virgin, but Ria was not. She'd had a few serious relationships already, with both men and even with a girl and... well... she wasn't a virgin. Anyway, she'd decided that she wanted to make our Boston trip an opportunity for me to lose my virginity - only if I wanted to, of course - and to that end, she wanted to make it a special and romantic night.

The thing was, though, she didn't tell me about the 'losing my virginity' part.

So, she ordered a town car to pick us up and drive us into Boston and to a hotel just across from the theatre. It was a really fancy place, too. Much nicer than The Marriott, which may sound silly, but it's the only other hotel I'd ever seen in real life.

We checked in at four thirty that afternoon, had the staff carry our bags to our room, and took our time getting ready for dinner.

By this time, I'd been living a 'gender fluid' life for over a month, but to be honest, I'd been living pretty much full time in female mode, and I'd gotten pretty darned good at doing my own hair and makeup. So, that night I'd gotten my hair done nicely and my makeup done to my satisfaction, but Ria stopped me.

"Sit here at the mirror, Jack," she said with a smile. "I want to do your makeup a little fancier tonight."

Always up for anything girly, I sat at the mirrored vanity and my girlfriend went to work on my eyes first. She made them a little 'smokier' with some darker hues and that made them pop just a bit more than usual. Then she took a bright red lipstick and a brush and began painting my lips as if I was a work of art. She layered coat after coat of the thick, rich color onto my lips until she was satisfied with the look.

"You've been using that lip conditioner that Avery bought you at night, haven't you?" she asked.

"Morning and night," I confirmed. "Can you tell."

"Sure I can." She smiled as she painted. "You're not exactly Angelina Jolie, yet, but they are much more plump and full than they used to be."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "They're softer when I kiss you, too. I like that."

I have to admit - when your fully dressed girlfriend has you seated in a chair, while you're wearing a petticoated slip, with a bra and panties, a garter belt, real silk stockings and the most delicate little pumps you've ever seen, while she works on your makeup to make you look even more feminine for your date with her, you've got to consider what she means when she tells you how much she likes your pillowy soft lips when she kisses you. Is she being sarcastic and playing some kind of femdom game, or is she being honest? I looked into her eyes and I saw how she looked at me and I didn't see any kind of sexual one-upmanship there. I just saw love and affection, so I knew that she was telling the truth.

"Here." She smiled as she spread some sort of gel across my lips. "That will seal your lip color on." She looked at me and smiled even more broadly. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world, you know that?"

"You are?" I giggled. "Why is that?"

"Well, just look at my boyfriend. Some girls have boyfriends who are handsome, but my boyfriend is just plain beautiful." She shook her head a little. "Just beautiful."

I looked at her mocha skin and gorgeous brown eyes, and I smiled. "I'm not as beautiful as you are, Ria. Sometimes I can't believe that a skinny, girly boy like me could ever have found someone as exotic and amazing as you."

"Exotic?" She chuckled. "Everyone in my family looks just like me, Jacky. There's nothing exotic about me. I'm just a girl from Nepal, baby. Black hair and brown skin is all part of the package."

"And I'm just a fairy from Massachusetts, Ria. The skinny body and the love of all things girly are part of the package, too."

She kissed me gently on the lips. "Then aren't we just the luckiest two people in the world to have found each other?"

She walked to the bed and picked up the blue dress she'd given me for Christmas. Of course, I'd worn a couple of dozen dresses by that night, but nothing like that one. That dress was extraordinary. It was a statement of femininity far beyond anything I'd ever seen Julia, Avery or Chelsea ever wear - even to a prom. This dress said to the world 'I am a woman and I am proud of it. Look at me and be jealous.' And I couldn't wait to wear it to dinner and the show.

"Are you ready to be my beautiful, classy girlfriend for the night?" Ria asked.

I stood and smiled. "Forever," I smiled.

I stepped into that miraculous dress and allowed Ria to zip it up my back, then button the top few buttons back there as well and when I looked in the mirror, a vision of female beauty looked back at me. Her smoky eyes and bright red lips were appropriate decorations for the dress' aesthetic and the pumps made a delicate statement of female fashion as well.

I was still captivated by my own reflection when Ria stepped in beside me and her beauty distracted me. She was dressed in a Kelly green top with blousy sleeves and a slit neckline and a pleated gold skirt that flowed to just below her knees. Beneath that, she wore her favorite knee high, high heeled boots. Simple and beautiful.

Already an inch and a half taller than me with out shoes on, she was substantially taller than me as she stood next to me and we looked at each other in the mirror.

"We make an odd couple, don't we?" I mused.

"I think we make a beautiful couple," Ria said with more feeling than I could have imagined. She put an arm around me and shook her head as she looked into the mirror. "I don't know about you, Jacky, but I couldn't be happier than I am right now."

I had to agree.

We took the elevator to the rooftop restaurant where we had an amazing view of Boston Harbor as well as the city that was lit up around us.

I glanced at the menu and my jaw actually dropped. I leaned across the table and whispered to Ria, "We can't afford this, Ria. There's nothing on this menu under thirty five dollars and that's just for the entrée. Vegetables and drinks and everything else is extra."

Ria smiled at me. "Don't worry, honey. You know that my parents are both well off. Well, I have a credit card I share with them. It's supposed to only be used for emergencies, but they gave me permission to use it for this trip as long as I pay it off a little at a time. Relax and enjoy yourself."

I tried to relax, but I couldn't. I searched for the cheapest item and found the Waldorf Salad for twenty seven dollars.

The waiter arrived and asked for our orders. I placed my order and looked at Ria.

"I'll have the Roasted Salmon with Lentils and Bacon and a small house salad to start," Ria said. I was shocked. The salmon was sixty nine dollars!

"Very good, ladies," the waiter said as he reached for the menus, but Ria held up her hand to stop him.

Then looked at me. "Do you even know what's in a Waldorf Salad?"

I shrugged. "Lettuce, right?"

She shook her head. "Cancel the Waldorf Salad. She'll have the same thing I'm having."

"Very good," the waiter smiled and took the menus, departing.

"Waldorf Salad has apples, walnuts, celery and grapes in a mayonnaise sauce on a very shallow bed of romain lettuce. It's barely an appetizer."

I was shocked. "How can they charge twenty seven dollars for something like that?"

"Look around, Jack. They're not just charging for the food. They're charging for all of this. All of this elegance and beauty. This is what we're paying for. So, please... relax and start enjoying it."

"Excuse me," a very well dressed woman in her late thirties or early forties appeared at our table and touched Ria's shoulder to interrupt. "I'm sorry, but I saw you two ladies come in and I just had to get a look at this dress your companion is wearing. Do you mind?"

I was a little surprised that she was asking Ria this question rather than me. Perhaps Ria just looked like she was in charge, I don't know, but regardless, I was wearing the dress, yet I was not asked the question.

"Not at all," Ria said with great pride. "Jacky, would you mind standing so this lady might get a better look at your dress?"

Still baffled, I stood. "Not at all," I said with a slightly confused smile.

The woman immediately began fingering the material. "Oh, this is just lovely. It's not a reproduction is it?"

"No. It's an original. It's from nineteen sixty one. I bought it from a classic clothing shop for her. It suits her, don't you think?"

"Indeed I do," the woman looked me over like I was a product. Then she smiled at my confused expression. "I'm sorry, dear. I know I come off a bit intense sometimes. I teach costuming over at Emerson. I am obsessed with the Camelot period - you know - the JFK White house years. All of Jackie's clothing... Marilyn Monroe... Audrey Hepburn... Oh, but of course you girls are too young to know anything about that."

"Actually," Ria grinned, "it may surprise you to learn that the girl wearing that dress is actually named Jacky and her middle name is Kennedy."

I looked at Ria with fear in my eyes. I though for sure that she was about to 'out' me as a boy.

"Oh, no kidding?" The woman smiled. "Usually, mothers only saddle their boys with presidential names. I don't think I've ever met a child named for a First Lady. I think that's lovely. Of course, this kind of dress, with the petticoat and all, would have been the kind of thing that Jackie Kennedy would have worn as the wife of SENATOR Kennedy. By the time Jack was running for President, she was part of the less fussy movement that favored shells and sheath dresses. That sporty look we associate with the Camelot era... Oh, listen to me droning on and on like I'm in a lecture hall," the woman laughed. "I'm sorry. My husband is probably having a fit back at our table." She looked at me and smiled. "You look lovely, dear. Your makeup matches beautifully, too." She stepped away from me and smiled at both of us. "Enjoy your dinners, girls. Thank you for your time. Have a wonderful night."

That was just the first of dozens of compliments I got that evening. My dress seemed to attract women with even a passing interest in clothing from hundreds of feet away. Each one touched and ohh-ed and ahh-ed at the beauty and craftsmanship of the dress. Suddenly I understood the appeal of wearing a bridal gown and being the center of attention amongst a group of overly enthusiastic women. It was an amazing feeling. I felt all at once beautiful and special and as if the gift that I'd been given by Ria had been chosen specifically to allow me to feel that way.

The show was amazing, too. I'd only ever seen a musical performed at a high school or in a film. It's a whole different thing to be just a few dozen feet away from someone who is singing with that kind of passion. It really tears at your soul like nothing else I ever experienced before. Between the experiences brought on by the dress, the gourmet meal in the elegant restaurant and the passionate performances at the show, by the time I returned to my hotel room, I felt as if I was a whole different person. As if parts of me that I never knew existed had been opened up and I was feeling things I'd never felt before.

But the night was still young.

When we got to our room, Ria told me to turn so she could unbutton, then unzip me. She lowered the dress and I slipped off my pumps and I stepped out of the dress. I picked it up and laid it carefully on the back of a chair. I was about to take off the slip, but before I could, Ria had her arms around me and was kissing me more passionately than she'd ever done before.

Quickly, her kisses moved from my lips to my ears then my neck and while her lips were busy there, her hands were busy caressing my body thorough the silky material of my slip and petticoats. Living in a crowded house and having so many people always around, Ria and I had had limited time to ourselves and much of that had been in restaurants and movie theaters. We'd never really had this kind of privacy before and she was taking full advantage of the situation and, to tell you the truth, it had caught me by surprise. It was a pleasant surprise, but it was a surprise, nonetheless.

Before I was able to even gather my thoughts and reciprocate by kissing Ria back, I found myself on the hotel bed, with Ria raising my petticoats up to my chest.

I reached up to touch her breasts, but she pushed me away. "Not yet, honey." She smiled. She caressed the silky, flat front of my panties. "Let me take care of something first."

She bent low and kissed me on the lips, still caressing that area. "I know this is your first time, baby, so let's get the first orgasm out of the way. Then you can relax and we can take our time."

I just blushed at the thought that Ria had had more experience than I had.

She smiled at my embarrassment. "Don't worry, honey. I understand." Her hand worked it's way into the waistband of my panties and then into the gusset where my penis was tucked away. There, she began to stroke my tucked member, causing it to stiffen uncomfortably in its confines. Sensing my discomfort, she gently maneuvered it to a more natural position. "There," she whispered, almost maternally, "that's better, isn't it?" I smiled and nodded. "We don't have to do this, baby. It's up to you. We'll only do it if you want to. I can stop any time you want me to."

"No," I gasped, almost like a child, "don't stop. I want to."

She smiled, happy with my answer. "Ok. I won't stop."

Then, much to my surprise, she pulled her hand out of my panties. I think I may have whimpered a bit, but I needn't have. She was right back at it a moment later, but now caressing my shaft through the silk panties.

"You know," she whispered, "I think that one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place was the thought of you wearing panties that first night I met you at the restaurant. I mean, a boy in panties is a pretty hot boy, in my opinion. I don't like smelly, hairy, hard bodied boys. I like my boys soft and pretty and smelling like lavender, or orchids, or roses, or vanilla. I like them to feel like silk and satin and nylon. This," she squeezed my penis, just a bit, and increased her speed, "this is the only thing that should ever get hard on a boy that I'm with. I want my boy to be a pretty girl for me, and that's why I love you, Jacky. You're my pretty girl, aren't you?"

I was so close to exploding that my face was tingling. I wasn't sure if I could speak, but I managed to eek out a quiet, "Yes."

"Yes, my pretty girl. Now, just relax, my pretty, little girl. Here it comes. Here it comes. Here it...."

And there it came. I exploded into my panties. Any orgasms I'd ever had before had been in my sleep and the ecstatic feelings that this experience was flooding through my body was beyond anything in my wildest dreams. I convulsed and gasped and tried to scream, but the strangled sounds that came out were breathless, female sounding gasps and made Ria smile.

"That's my good girl," she beamed at me. "See how nice that is? And that's just from a hand job. We have a long, long night ahead of us, young lady. Tonight, you are learning a lot about being a grown up girl."

She sent me off to the bathroom to change out of my soiled panties and clean myself up. On the way back she stopped me before I reached the bed. "You're going to need a few minutes to recover, honey, so let me teach you how to use that tongue of yours properly. Kneel down, right here in front of me."

I did and she raised her gold skirt. "Look at you," she smiled down at me. Perfect makeup, perfect hair and the prettiest slip and petticoat I've ever seen. What a picture you make." I don't think there was any sense on dominance in her attitude or words. Just affection. "Now, lower my panties, baby." I did. "I'm sure you know what you're looking at, so let's start by having your tongue give my clitoris some attention."

I did my best, and with Ria guiding me, I was soon finding just the right spots to satisfy her with my tongue. Her gasps and sighs and groans let me know that I was doing a good job, and after ten minutes or so she pushed me away.

"Oh, my, my, my," she gasped. "Too much of a good thing. You might make me pass out." She laughed and fanned herself as she dropped her skirt back into place. "Alright, little girl," she teased me, "stand up."

I did, and she pulled my slip from my shoulders, having me step out of it and it's petticoats. She turned to her overnight bag and pulled a soft, lavender, lace nightie out and presented it to me.

"I bought you a present."

I put it on eagerly. Since my bra was still in place on my chest, it hung nicely on me. "I love it," I admitted, "but... I'm still your boyfriend, right? I mean... this girl talk stuff is just for sex talk, right?"

Still in her clothes, so still in her heeled boots, she stood a good deal taller than me. "Does it matter? I think you're very pretty, whether you're presenting as a boy or a girl. I just want to help you be even prettier. That's ok, isn't it?"

'You think I'm pretty even when I'm dressed as a guy?" I asked, sounding a little confused.

"As pretty as a picture," she giggled. She hugged me, then laid me gently in the bed where I experienced my first blowjob. I couldn't believe how amazing and intimate it felt. The warmth of her mouth on my most sensitive part... The caress of her tongue on the underside of my shaft... I didn't think I'd ever feel anything that amazing in my life! I lasted as long as I could, but when I came, I came even harder and with even more satisfaction than I'd come from the handjob.

But then, after some recovery time playing with Ria's breasts, she smiled and said, "It's time, baby. Are you ready?"

You know, it's weird, but I was actually a little scared. Maybe it was because it all seemed so very important. Like the actual act of penetration was somehow something more important or more earth shaking than what we'd already done, but I felt my heart beating just a little faster and my face was just a little more heated at the thought of actually going through with this act.

It didn't make sense to be scared, though. I mean, I loved Ria and she loved me. She was on birth control and I wanted to do it. There was no reason not to do this. It was just me over thinking everything like I always did.

Ria could see that I was scared, though. "It's ok, baby. If you don't want to do it, we don't have to."

"No," I said. "I want to do it."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I do. I really want to. I love you, Ria. I want to do it."

She lowered her head and placed the softest, most loving kiss I have ever received on my lips. 'I love you, too, my beautiful baby."

I was on my back and Ria raised my nightie up around my waist. But what happened next didn't feel anything like me penetrating Ria. Instead, she accepted me into her. She was in charge, but not being commanding. Just... it's just that she knew what to do and she guided and taught me how to be a part of her. How to become one with her. It wasn't the thrill of sex that I'd expected. It was the completion of coupling. The fulfilling of the need to be completely connect with the woman I loved in a way that I didn't truly understand that I could.

Some people say that the night you have sex for the first time is the night you become a man. I never felt less manly in my life! I felt needy and dependent and wanting while also feeling complete and connected to everything important to me in ways I never knew possible. I felt like a part of me had been opened that I didn't even know had existed and that I'd never be able to be a whole person again unless I was with Ria in that way. I was always told that men were strong and self-sufficient. I felt smaller than ever and more in need of my partner than ever. On talking to Julia about it later, she says that's how girls feel.

Maybe I am a girl, deep down, but I don't think I need to be one physically. I think that certain male parts of me need to stay forever, especially that part of me that connects me to Ria.

Besides, there should be at least one guy in the house, right? Even if he is wearing the prettiest dress.
 

 

So - That's my family. We're a screwed up mess, but... I think we might have a chance of making it all work someday. We're trying. And deep down, we do all seem to love each other. That's a good starting point, right?

As for me... I'm going to keep trying to be the best 'me' that I can be - whether people view me as a girl or a boy, I just want to be the best person I can be.

A good girlfriend and a good boyfriend.

A good cousin.

A good sister and a good brother.

A good niece and a good nephew.

A good daughter and a good son.
 
THE END