Chapter 1: Metamorphosis

I wanted to scream. I tried to, but nothing came out. Something was wrong. Very.....very wrong, so wrong that in fact I had to confirm this wasn't some wild dream. You're not going to believe me but here goes.

8 hours ago I was a dude. I use the word was because now, very evidently, I am not. Today I woke up as an 18 year old GIRL. A GIRL. And that's not even the weirdest part, I still had my....well my dick.

"Wh.....What happened to me last night?" I said to myself. Was I dreaming? Why did I just randomly grow boobs, an ass and a pretty face." Why did I.....keep my penis? Not saying I don't want it, Out of everything that's happening, that's the one piece of information that tells me that this isn't normal. But that still begs the question "Why keep it? Why did this all even happen in the first place? What's happening?” I said to myself quietly

I once again looked at the girl looking back at me. If I wasn’t staring at her in the mirror I would’ve probably tried to ask her out. Wait, kick my own ass by being too much of a wimp to ask her out, sounds more like me but that didn't matter. That girl was…..well it was me. When I raised my hand, she raised her hand, when I moved my head, she moved her own.

I pinched myself many many times that morning to see if I was dreaming but I always opened my eyes to look at the face of the person standing in front of me in the mirror. A stranger who looks oddly familiar. It was borderline trippy. As an only child, this is how I would assume my much better looking older sister would look. While I suffered for years of bullying due to my acne and crooked teeth, her face was unblemished and her teeth perfectly leveled, by all accounts I look better as a girl than I could ever imagine as a boy. Like I was somehow supposed to be a girl…..a girl with a……a…...dick that is…What even am I?

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a voice coming from below. “Honey!” I heard a female voice from the kitchen below. “Come down for breakfast!”

“Shit!” I told myself, “What am I going to tell her? She doesn't know me. To her I’m just a random girl. Was this even my Mom? I barely knew what was real anymore. I sat on my bed, my now thin feminine hands running through the long blonde hair that I now had. How am I going to explain who I am? How do I even know if this woman is my mother or not? Was I kidnapped? This was still my room with all my stuff. My heart was beating faster than it ever has before. I was freaking out. It turns out however, that I didn’t have to wait anxiously for long. A few seconds later the voice shot back from the kitchen once again. “I know what happened up there,” the voice said from below. “Come on down, we have a lot of talking to do”

Now I was taken aback. How did they know what happened? "Did they….did they do this to me?" I told myself quietly. "Why would anyone do this to me?" I asked myself again. How did they even do all of this in a night? Was it a night? I checked my phone quickly and the date was correct, exactly one day after my birthday, this definitely looks like months of work,if not years. There was no identification (other than my dick of course), that I was anything but a beautiful woman. You can’t just switch genders overnight. Right?

I was wearing an oversized t-shirt and some sweatpants. The same clothes I wore last night to bed. They obviously look much bigger on me due to my transformation last night, but it was good because I didn’t need to really look through my closet to see if there was anything I could even wear. My hair was let down freely, my first sign this morning when I woke up that something happened last night. I slowly made my way downstairs, extremely nervous on facing whoever was down there. I quickly glanced below to the couch from the stairs to my bedroom upstairs hiding behind the wall getting a lay of the room, and there she was.

My Mom was sitting on the couch with her mug of coffee, it was her who spoke. I wasn’t kidnapped (Phew!). She wore a white dress with a floral pattern and her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail. Typical Mom, she’s always wearing a dress or a skirt unless she’s working out. She didn’t notice me, facing away from the stairs to the window. She was looking at the road outside the cars passing by our ordinary house in the middle of anytown USA. It was quiet but that’s just usually how it is before I enter the living room. You see it was always just us at home. Mom never really mentioned Dad. He was never really in the picture. I didn’t really care though. Mom was always there for all my needs and I never felt like I was really missing anything. Looking around the living room, it seemed just like a regular normal day. Normal except….well, you already know.

I took a deep breath and emerged from my hiding. Mom heard the stairs behind me and turned around, Her face was perfectly made up as usual. She was wearing a bright red lipstick which turned into a big grin when she saw me. She got up, very elegantly as she usually does and spoke.

“Wow” she started “You….You’re beautiful”

“How do you know what’s going on?” I asked now, a bit scared and backing away to my room again. “Did….did you do this? Why?”

“I didn’t do it.” she told me “Take a seat, I’ll get you a cup of coffee. You’re going to need it.” she told me as she made her way to the kitchen. “I know you must have a lot of questions,” she told me. “I promise, I’ll answer every single one. But you need to promise me that you’ll listen to what I have to say first” she said from the kitchen. “I know you’re scared but you’re going to be fine.”

She sounded genuine. I had to trust her. She walked back with my mug of coffee and looked at me and I nodded. She took a seat, took a deep breath and told me straight up. “Honey,” she said “You’re a sissy”

“What?” I managed to say. “What’s a sissy?”

“Women with penises” she told me. "Eventually, you'll become every bit as female as I am, the only difference between you and a natural woman would be that penis," she said pointing down.

“No,” I said. “That’s not possible. How could I have switched genders overnight? And why did I keep my penis?”

“Calm down." she told me. "Deep breaths." as I took a minute. "It’s perfectly normal.” she told me. “We all go through it and eventually, you’ll learn to love it but let’s take this step at a time OK?” she said with a smile.

Hold up, did I just hear her correctly? “Mom…., “ I asked in horror, “Wh ... .What do you mean when you said that we all through it?” My mother took a long pause and a deep breath.

"Oh dear" she said. "I wanted to wait for a bit to tell this to you but I guess now’s as good of a time as any.” That’s when I heard it from her mouth, the most shocking thing I’ve heard all morning. “Honey….,” she started “I’m a sissy too”

Chapter 2: The Aftermath

I sat there for a few minutes. Unsure of what I should do in this situation. Should I run? Should I scream as loud as I can because this is definitely a dream, or should I just give up and faint. My Mom? That means that..... “This......this is forever then” I said. “I’ll never go back to being just me. She shook her head. “This is you, you’re a sissy now”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said loudly now tears forming in my eyes. I don’t cry. When did I start crying? “Why didn't you tell me last night that I’d wake up as a…..a……a sissy?”

“In“Ye.....…Yeah Mom” I said. “I don’t even know what to say.” This felt like a nightmare, and the worst part was that there's no cure? Did any of my relatives not have the same things going through their head? How could I go back to my regular life now? At least I didn’t have to go to school. Fortunately I just graduated a few days ago (A stroke of luck I guess?). Regardless, I’ll have to get used to living like…..well this at least temporarily, there was no way I was just going to accept this

Everyone I knew, all of my friends, (the small number that I had anyways) I had to cut off. My life had to start over from scratch. Tears welled up in my eyes again as the reality of the situation hit me. I don’t know why I’m crying so much. It's been years since I’ve cried, but for some reason now I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my face. My sight started to blur with the tears as I put my face in my hands.

Mom came up to me and gave me a hug. “Shhh'' she said. “It’s ok darling” she said “Get it all out.” I could barely listen to her, my head was going a thousand miles an hour, I was overwhelmed with grief, sadness and anxiety. I felt protected though. Mom seemed to be understanding of the situation. As I continued to weep for the loss of my gender, my mother consoled me with words of understanding and assurances that everything was going to be ok.

“Mom….” I said through my tears, “I…..I don’t think I can do this. Please, we need to find a way to turn me back. There has to be a way to turn me back right? Someone must’ve figured it out.” I said. “I…..I can’t do this”

She held me again. “I just need you to trust me,” she told me. “Trust me that you’ll be okay and just give this a chance." she told me. "Can you do that for me?"

I looked at my Mom and realized that I didn’t have a choice. There was no way I was going to change back without my mothers help,I didn't even know what happened to me and the way she reacted to my statement told me that she didn’t either. Unless she was hiding something from me, regardless, if that cure even existed I was going to need my mother's help to change back. All I could do for now is keep this charade up for a few days until I figure out the next move.

“Yeah Mom” I said. “I.....I trust you”

“Good,” she replied. “Well first things first, you need a name”.

I gulped. “How about Sam?” I asked hopefully for a more gender neutral name.

“I like it,” she said to my surprise. “But I'm thinking of something more suited for the occasion.” she finished with a sly smile. I groaned. Shit! I told myself, she saw right through it.

I tried a few more before Mom came to her suggestion. “I’ve always liked Amanda” she suggested “It’s pretty and close enough to your old name so you won’t be too disoriented. Does that work?”

While I didn't truly like it, I had to admit it felt more natural to call this person Amanda. It would help me see her as a different entity, different from me. Or at least the me I know so I accepted. “Yeah. Yeah that works. Thanks Mom,” I said as I shot her a smile.

“So tell me everything you know about this…..well thing Mom. Why our family? And who’s dad? Really?” I asked her. "You said that I was destined to be a sissy? What did you mean by that?” I wandered

“Well it’s a long story” she started, “Your father, to start, knew who I was the day we met. That didn’t really bother him. He was very open minded for that time. Historically however, we’ve had to find.....let’s just say......different ways of meeting people” she started off.

“You see Amanda,'' she said jarringly using my new name "You're now part of a community of sissies. Just because we're women with cocks doesn't mean we aren't smart, talented, creative and hardworking people. We have sissy doctors, scientists, engineers and lawyers, not to mention multiple artists, musicians and authors. Our scientists have perfected the art of gene splicing and in-vitro fertilization so a lot of us sissies back in the day have usually gotten along perfectly by intermarrying within themselves.”

“Wait,” I interrupted her. “Sissies can have kids with each other?” she nodded. “How?” was my follow up question, now curious myself.

“Like I said,” she answered. “We’ve perfected gene-splicing and in-vitro fertilization. It’s perfect. It makes sure there’s no accidents.”

“What do you mean by accidents?” I asked now very curious

“You’ll find out soon enough” she replied and I got the feeling she didn’t want to discuss it any further. I realized that I’d talk to her about it at another time but I still had questions about my dad.

“H....How did you and Dad meet?” I asked. “And how did you know that he was…..not going to explode when you told him?”

“Believe it or not, there’s a lot of men that prefer women like us,” she told me. “Back in the day when there was no internet, we used to go to the Sissy Club or what we call The Club to find men who don't mind a little extra down there. That’s where I met your father.

"Where is he now?" I asked

"Oh he's now a member." she replied

"What?" I said almost in shock. "People willingly transform into this? How many of these weirdos exist, Mom?"

"You'd be surprised," she said bluntly. I said nothing. What could I say?

"Did he.......Dad, did he want to do it?" I asked half expecting the answer.

"Oh of course...yes" she smiled. "Yes they have a full disclosure that they must sign away. Usually happens when men, let's just say get penetrated by a sissy, transform to one themselves. It takes a few weeks and it's definitely not an overnight change like yours but you'll be surprised at how most of them turn out. You’ll never guess that they were ever male. My….my, Amanda honey, your father is gorgeous now. I still go over sometimes to see him.......or her I should say, her name is Vanessa"

I didn’t know how to feel. Like Mom said, I was conflicted and scared. I needed some space to think about what Mom told me today. Hopefully I’ll wake up soon to realize this was all just a crazy dream and I’d be back in my own acne ridden body. I never thought I’d want to go back to being a loser so badly.

“Can I be excused Mom?” I asked her. “I think I need some time to take this all in.”

“Of course honey,” she said, planting a kiss on my forehead. “Take all the time you need”

Chapter 3: Help, Please!

I don’t remember much of the next few hours, other than me frantically looking for answers to get out of this mess online. I couldn’t find anything that cured overnight gender change, nor could I find anything about men randomly transforming into “sissies” but I wasn’t going to go down that easy. I would find a way. There had to be a way.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had long blonde hair that could easily be cut down to a more manageable short style but that’s honestly where the easy part of it ended. No matter what I tried. Even wearing the most basic T-shirts and pants, It would be obvious I was a girl in mens clothing. My facial structure had changed. The facial hair that I’ve worked so hard on the past few months is gone. There were no signs of it even being there like it was a dream that never happened, no shadow, nothing. I touched my face to feel the smooth skin multiple times throughout the day. It felt weird, almost alien-like. There was no blemish, no sign of hair below my eyebrows which now were much thinner and more feminine themselves. “Shit!” I told myself every time I touched my face, sweat rolling down my forehead to make its way down to my chin easily with no resistance from my face. This was too nutty to even be a dream at this point.

That’s not even mentioning my skinnier arms and dainty fingers along with the massive mounds on my chest. I had boobs! Like real boobs! I’ll admit I’ve played around with them for a bit but it quickly dawned on me that this wasn’t something I could just cut away. I needed professional help. I needed to go to a doctor. None of this would be cheap or maybe even available where I was and who would I even talk to? I am 18 so I technically don’t really need my mothers approval to get surgery but I needed money and a lot of it. I was a broke 18 year old who just graduated a few days ago. How would I get the thousands of dollars to do it? Where would I live after that? I didn’t even have a car. I was completely dependent on my mother. My mother who’s asking me to give this ‘a fair shot’. In conclusion, things were not looking good.

It didn’t stop me from searching however. My mother may have switched to call me Amanda but I know what my name is. I had to find a way to escape and then remind myself to never have sex with a sissy. “Which self respecting man would give up his masculinity that easily? Surely not me.” I told myself with a chuckle.

Another thought that came to mind while thinking about it was wondering why my mother stuck with it? There had to be a reason why she didn’t try to switch back (or, more frighteningly, she also tried but failed. I didn’t want to think of that scenario). Maybe she didn’t even have a penis, but how would she know what happened to me then? My heart was racing a million miles per second.

I looked through my phone and photo collection to see that all the photos and videos I took with my old friends just.....disappeared from my collection. All of their contacts and messages were somehow deleted and for the life of me I couldn't recall any of their names. "It.....It's like I've been erased, '' I said under my breath. None of my past relationships exist anymore to my knowledge. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Would any of them even believe me anyways? Would they even remember me? I doubt it

I tried calling hospitals, police stations, everything, but people either hung up thinking it was a joke or laughed right at me. This felt hopeless. I didn't have a car or a drivers license (lame I know, an 18 year old without a license). Regardless, at this point I was truly stuck.

Chapter 4: A Day Out (Part 1)

It must’ve been quite a few hours since I came upstairs as I heard a knock on my door. “Amanda dear,” Mom said through the door. “You can’t lock yourself in your room forever. I brought you lunch. Please, let me in, I just want to talk.”

Suddenly I started to feel hungry, all I’ve had since morning was the cup of coffee. I reluctantly got up and opened the door. Mom was still in her floral dress and heels as she walked into my room holding a plate of food. “You’ve been incredibly silent for the last few hours,” she said. “I’m worried about you,” she said as I took the plate from her.

“I’m scared Mom” I told her, now my mouth full of food. “I…..I just don’t know what to do”

“You’ll be fine Amanda” she said. “Look at me. I turned out great. Just let it happen. Don’t worry about anything. Trust me and just calm down ok.”

I looked at my mother, the picture of femininity. She was one of those women who wore their age with pride. You could tell she was a bit older but it didn’t matter because you couldn’t deny that she was downright gorgeous. I could see how dad, (even though I didn’t know him..or her?) fell in love with her.

“OK” I said, “I’ll calm down” as I took a few deep breaths to get my composure back. “There’s just so much happening. I…..I don’t know where to start”

“Well to start, don’t talk with your mouth full of food. That’s probably the least ladylike thing you could do.” she told me.

I swallowed my food guiltily. “Sorry. I’m just getting used to well…..everything”

“You’re learning,” she told me. “It’s ok to make mistakes. I’m not an expert in femininity myself. And it’s not just about wearing frilly dresses and makeup, it’s about how you conduct yourself too.”

She was right. Until this morning, I didn’t even realize she was a sissy. Regardless, I had no intention about learning any of those mannerisms, I told myself. I needed to find a way to bring Mom to my side, or I needed to find a way to get thousands of dollars for a surgery that my Mom wouldn’t agree with. I really hope that my mother eventually sees how crazy this entire thing is and would help me. However, I’m not holding any major hope. She seems quite settled in the idea that I’ll be a sissy like her.

“I know what’ll make you feel better,” she said. “How about we head out. It’ll help you get your mind off of things”

That actually sounded pretty good. I needed space. Maybe I could escape. I could go to the police or a hospital or something. They’d trust me right?

I nodded happily. “Oh that sounds great!” I said to her,

“Oh! I’m so glad, Come on, we need you to get ready”

“Ready?” I asked with surprise?

“Of course dear, You’re going to need to put on some respectable clothes, maybe even a light coating of makeup?”

Horrors. There was no way I would willingly wear makeup. But I was stuck. I agreed to this plan. If I denied it, she’d know something was going on. Mom led me to her room and asked me to take a seat in her vanity. I sat unwillingly in the comfortable soft chair while she went to her closet to get who knows what. A few minutes later she appeared with a large box full of smaller circular boxes and cylindrical tubes. All I wanted to do was get up and run to my room and lock the door. I wanted to wake up from this horrid nightmare but all I could do was wait. Something was keeping me stuck in the chair, and my heartbeat raised every time my mother came close to me.

“Ok,” she said “Let’s get started. This is what we call foundation,” she said, showing me a circular box. It’s supposed to even out the skin tone from your face. Here, let me show you.”

When she opened the box, I saw that it was separated into 2 parts. The top had a circular mirror and the bottom was filled with this really nice smelling powder and a circular cotton swab. Mom took the swab and touched the powder and slowly applied it on my face. I held my breath.

By the time she was done, my already feminine looking face had just evened out the small blemishes and inaccuracies that I had. My face was now as even as my skin tone could be, and as a result paired with my already feminine facial features, there was no way anybody would recognize me for anything other than an 18 year old girl.

“Cute right?” she said. I nodded. It’s all I could think of doing. She smiled. “Good girl.” she said “Now let’s get the blush going”

She opened another smaller circular tube now. This one has a darker pinkish color to it instead of the skin-toned color of the foundation. “We just apply a little of this to the cheeks to make them pop,” she said while just brushing my cheeks lightly with it. Before I knew it, she was done.

I admired her work. Even though I was worried going into this, I felt much more at ease now. It felt quite natural for my mother to apply makeup on my face. Quickly though the rational part of my brain kicked in. Is this what she meant by “letting it happen”? Am I losing my mind?

“Let’s put some lip-gloss on,” she said while taking out a peach-colored tube, “It’s not going to give you a lot of color,” she said “But I think it’s for your first time, this should suffice.” as she took the small brush and applied it to my lips, in a few seconds, she was done and I looked to see my lips were now a nice even peach shade with a bit of shine when I moved my face and puckered my lips.

Mom then started fishing out a black cylindrical tube. “This is eyeliner,” she told me. “It gives your eyes a bit more definition. Here,” she said handing me the tube, “Try it out”

I didn’t argue as I took the tube and twisted the top off. This was also a two part cylinder like the lipgloss. The top looked like a pen with a tiny nib on it and the bottom was filled with a black liquid. I dipped the nib into the black liquid and with my mothers' instructions carefully traced the outline of my eye. It was difficult at first but we kept practicing until I got it.

“Oh you’re coming along just beautifully,” she said. “Now close your eyes and let me finish. Don’t open them until I tell you to.”

I obeyed and closed my eyes while my mother worked on finishing up my makeup. It was weirdly relaxing and I loved just having this time to be in my mothers presence. It felt like we were connecting even though we didn’t say much. When she was done she asked me to keep my eyes closed. I need to brush your hair a bit. It’s a little frazzled.

I kept them closed to feel now my hair being brushed behind me. I took a few deep breaths to calm my beating heart while she slowly brushed my hair. I was unsure if it was the deep breathing or the hair brushing but I immediately started to feel more at ease.

“Ok” she said “I think you can open your eyes now” she said as I slowly opened my eyes to softly gasp at the mirror.

I could barely see a resemblance to my old self. The small asymmetries that I possessed were now gone. Every blemish, every irregularity on my face, now just gone. I couldn’t believe it. My eyes were well defined and the eyelids were colored a pinkish beige which blended in with my skin beautifully. My now peach lips had enough of a contrast to the rest of my face that you could make them out, but the color was muted enough that it didn’t feel like too much. In short, I…..I loved it.

“I love it,” I told my Mom confidently. “I look…..beautiful”

As soon as I said those words, I realized then, that every rational thought I had in my head was going against this, I looked like a girl. I’m a dude. I can’t look like this. Why in the world did I say I looked beautiful? Why did I willingly take the eyeliner from my Mom and apply it to my face with no real pushback? This was all happening way too fast. I’m starting to like makeup. 20 minutes ago, you wouldn’t have been able to force me to do it but now? Now I was saying that I loved it and I was beautiful to my mother. I needed to get out of this place, but I was stuck. I had no money, no time, nothing. All I could do was try and keep my sanity for as long as possible. As long as it takes to find a way out of this horrible horrible mess.

Chapter 5: A Day Out (Part 2)

I sat there in awe of my mothers work. My brain was telling me to run, but I couldn’t get up. All I could do was admire the face in the mirror. My face. The face of a girl getting ready to go out. A girl who if not explicitly stated, would never have anyone guessing what’s in her pants.

Mom was pleased with her skills (as she should be), but apparently that wasn’t enough for her. She exclaimed that I needed a change of wardrobe.

“Now that your makeup is done, I think we’re gonna get some pretty clothes on you Amanda dear” she said. “You can’t be seen outside wearing a full face of makeup with sweatpants.”

She made a good point. I was too deep at this point. But I didn’t want to go any further.. All I wanted was to go to my room and cry on my pillow. I wanted to wash this stupid makeup off my face and wake up. Unfortunately, I needed to keep this charade up. Until I get her on my side. I kept telling myself.

“That sounds great Mom.” I said as she headed back to her closet to get something. I sat in my thoughts wondering what she would be retrieving when she came back, and handed me a pair of lacy blue panties.

“Pa….Panties?” I said

“Yes. But these aren’t regular panties Amanda” she said “There’s a pocket where you can put your penis in.”

“Wait really?” I said now intrigued

She nodded. “Yes. You can head to the bathroom to change. Don’t worry about the bra, we’re going to need to measure you first anyways and then I’m going to show you how to wear it.” she said, handing me the panties.

“A b….bra?” I said as she pushed me into the bathroom. “Would I really need to wear a bra when I came out?”

I had to admit that I liked how the panties felt. Much like the smell of the makeup, or the taste of my lipgloss, the feel of the lace somehow felt natural to my soft dainty fingers. As I got a closer look at them, I could see that Mom was right. There was definitely a pocket in the panties for my penis. It was quite spacious and as I put them on I had to admit that they definitely felt better than the sweatpants and boxers I was wearing. It almost felt like I had nothing down there and it really seemed like I was truly smooth under there. Unless revealed, there would be no way someone would know even if they see me in my panties. “My panties?” I scolded myself. “These aren’t mine. I’m getting out of this. I know I will”

When I came out of the bathroom, all I was wearing were the panties and my oversized t-shirt. Mom had brought a bunch of clothes with her from her closet again and was setting them up when I came up behind her. She made me turn around a few times and asked me how it felt. I told her honestly that I kind of liked it (I mean it’s comfortable underwear, right?). She asked me to remove my t-shirt there in front of her so that she could measure my bust. That felt weird. I just got these things this morning but I still kinda felt kind of attached to them. Or maybe I didn’t want Mom to confirm and validate the very evident fact that I have boobs.

“Can we check another way?” I told my Mom. “Like through my T-Shirt?”

My Mom looked at me and said “Hon, I’ve been exactly where you are right now. You’re going to need to be measured soon enough and I’d hope you’d much rather it be with your mother than anyone else. Right?”

She called my bluff and I was left optionless as I started to remove my t-shirt in front of her. “Be careful not to mess up your makeup,” she said.

I was careful and pretty effectively got the t-shirt off without ruining my makeup. My mother seemed pleased. I didn’t even know how I did it. Mom looked at my breasts and held them up. For the first few seconds I admit it felt awkward but Mom eased the tension by taking out her measuring tape and checking the length from multiple angles. She then typed a few numbers on her phone and gave me a size. “36C” she said “Very respectable. Let me see if I have any bras that might fit you.” she said as she went back to her closet as she left me topless with panties in her room.

While she was back in the closet, I looked around at the clothes she picked out. I had to give it to Mom. These weren’t as bad as I thought they’d be. Sure they’re very evidently feminine but it didn’t seem too difficult to wear and she even brought out a few jeans (obviously womens though). I wondered where she got them from because I’ve never seen her wear jeans at all but I didn’t want to question my good luck and kept quiet when she came back.

“Find anything you like here?” she said as she pulled up behind me. I nodded. “Good.” she said “You’re learning fast, but first, I think I need to show you how to put the bra on,” she said as she handed me the bra.

“Now listen Amanda,” wearing a bra is a daily thing for women, which means it’s now a daily thing for you. Eventually, it’ll become second nature but first to start, you’re going to need to unclip the backstrap right……..there” she said as she pointed to the backstrap

“Like this?” I said as I unclipped it from the two hooks in the back, the bra then flattened out.

“Yes, just like that,” she said. “Now you need to put your arms in between the two straps at the side.” As I followed her instructions, I realized that I needed to clip the bra behind me. Mom came behind me as she did it for me.

“Do I need to clip it back by myself eventually?” I asked as she was finishing up.

She nodded. “You’ll get the hang of it eventually” she said as she clipped the back. “Don’t you look nice” she said smiling

She was right again. I did look nice. The bra gave my breasts some much needed structure and my body some balance that I didn’t even realize I lost until I put it on. I now felt that I could walk around normally without the large weight on my chest I was having earlier. I could see why these became an important article of clothing for women. I turned around to see my bra securely fastened to my back and my panties not showing a sign of my penis. It all felt very weird.

“So, how do you like it?” she asked

“It looks great. I love it” I told her

“Oh you’re progressing beautifully Amanda” she said with a smile. “I’m so proud of you. Did you find anything that you like here?” she said pointing to the clothes she laid out when I exited the bathroom.

“Yeah this top and these jeans” I said. I might be losing my mind but I knew that wearing those jeans would definitely be better than wearing any of the skirts or even the tiny shorts.

Surprisingly, my Mom agreed. I thought she’d try and convince me to wear something else more feminine but she put up no argument. Actually feeling good about a decision I made for once and having my mothers approval, I happily took both the light blue corset style top and the jeans as I put them both on.

The top felt great but the jeans did feel a little weird. I was disappointed. I wanted to be able to enjoy them because they were the least feminine thing set up by Mom. You’ll get used to it eventually, I told myself. This isn’t really important. What’s important is getting out of this mess. At the end of the day this is temporary I told myself. I had to believe so.

I looked into the mirror after my full makeover and barely recognized the person in the mirror. Sure, it was me, she moved when I moved, she blinked when I blinked but she was a different person even from the person who walked into my Mom’s room a few minutes ago. She looked more put together, more ready to head out and socialize than I ever remember me being. That's when I realized I needed to eventually leave and head out into the real world looking like this. That might just what I was dreading the most

Mom seemed to read my mind as she got her purse, got one for me and told me we were heading out to the mall. Internally, I was freaking out but I knew that I had to do this eventually so I’d much rather rip the bandaid sooner rather than later.I stood up, took the purse she offered and followed her right to the door without question. Mom had a pair of old flats that she used to wear when she was my age. “Don’t worry about the shoes” she said “That’s our first stop for today anyways”. To be honest, the shoes were the least of my worries. I apparently had much bigger fish to fry….or at least I thought.

Chapter 6: A Day Out (Part 3)

By the time we entered the mall, I could feel my legs shaking every step I took out of the car. I felt like an imposter. Someone would definitely find out who I was right? Right?

Wrong. Not a soul turned my way (except one creepy dude but Mom nipped that in the bud pretty instantaneously). The shoe store was relatively empty so we checked out a few pairs of really cute shoes there. Did I just say cute? Weird. Anyways, we bought a few pairs of heels and some running shoes. Mom told me that I was going to have to stick to a pretty strict diet and workout regiment now. “Sissies are the picture of femininity, Amanda,” she told me. “Why do you think men like us?” she whispered.

I shuddered. I’m barely getting by living like this and Mom drops this on me? A boyfriend? *Gag* Then again, it’s hard seeing how women would find “this” attractive. Mom finished the purchase as we walked out of the store. At this point I felt comfortable enough that nobody would recognize me, “At least I won’t die from embarrassment” I told myself.

While walking out of the store, a small kiosk in the middle of the store caught my eye. I stopped and looked at what was going on. It was one of those nail and jewelry kiosks. My mother stopped in her tracks a few steps ahead of me and focused her gaze at the direction I was looking at and saw the same store. By the time I tried to walk ahead, my mother stopped me and asked me to wait while she talked to the person working at the counter. She spoke to her for a few minutes and asked me to come over. Shit.

“Hi” she told the employee working there. “This is my daughter Amanda, she’d like to get her ears pierced”

“What?” my brain was telling me. “You can’t get your ears pierced. That’s too far.”. Another voice however rebutted “You’re already this far in. What are you going to tell Mom? That you’re scared of getting your ears pierced? And that’s not even mentioning the fact that you have literal boobs for god's sake. Piercing your ears seems pretty tame compared to that. Plus you kinda don’t have a choice.”

I looked at my Mom, and focused on her ears where two drop pearl earrings hung. They were simple yet, accented her face beautifully. Not too much, not too little. Plus looking at all the different types of earrings they had for pierced ears they had for display there made me feel curious. They weren’t all feminine, there were some earrings I could even imagine on a dude.

“You have a good eye,” the employee told me while looking through their selection. “We’re having a deal on the earrings. Buy two pairs for the price of one. We also perform free piercing if you buy a set.”

“Sounds like a great deal Amanda” Mom said. “It doesn't even hurt, just a tiny prick in each lobe. It’ll be over before you know it.”

I realized that it would be more beneficial to get it done rather than fight Mom on this. I mean in the worst case scenario I could always just take them out and wait for the holes to heal. Plus a lot of dudes have earrings too, I could definitely pull off a few of these earrings as a dude and I’ll make sure not to buy any of the super feminine ones.

I agreed and picked out the silver balls for my starter earrings.They seemed like the most gender neutral option there was. I then took a seat in the chair while the employee took a marker and marked a dot in the middle of each earlobe where the machine would pierce. He then took the machine and put it over my right ear. I heard a small pop and a tiny sting, when he immediately disinfected and put the starter in. After he was done with the right ear, he repeated the same process in the left ear. In a few minutes I had two silver balls stuck to my earlobes.

I looked at the mirror provided and it confirmed the feeling in my ears. It definitely felt weird to touch my earlobe which had been pretty even all throughout my life to now feeling a tiny ball in the middle of it. It felt kind of nice.The employee advised me not to touch it too often for the next few days and to turn it around my earlobe every few hours for at least 3 days. I thanked him and went to find Mom who was browsing around the earring selection

"I think you should get these," she said holding up some pink flower earrings, I deflected really quick from that to these chunky gold hoops which she agreed to as long as she let her choose the other pair, I assumed the worse but surprisingly she chose some simple zirconia studs. Even though I chose the hoops and was not mad with the studs, I barely noticed that neither of these earrings were anything but feminine, but at that point it didn’t matter. In my head I was still under the impression that I probably wasn’t even going to wear them, and if I did , it would be too late for me anyways.

Mom paid for the earrings and we continued walking down the mall. “I’m really glad you’re giving this a shot Amanda” she told me. “How do you feel?”

“Honestly, pretty good.” I told her. I wasn’t lying either. I remembered being so scared a few hours ago. I didn’t know how I’d be able to handle wearing makeup let alone leaving the house dressed like this and getting my ears pierced pretty publicly at a mall. I’ve even surprised myself. I’m still not happy with the situation, but it was nice to know that my Mom was trying to make it as enjoyable as possible for me.

Mom looked pleased. “It’s so nice to take my daughter out for a day of shopping,” she told me. “Okay, one more stop before we head home. We’re going to need a few more bras and tops for you. I’ll also need to special order a few pairs of panties too” she said as she took her phone out of her purse.

Even though I felt grateful that this experience wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, I needed to admit to myself that the jeans I’ve chosen this morning felt....well…..off. I’m not sure if it was the feminine cut that I wasn’t used to, or the fact that they weren’t specifically fit for me and Mom must’ve brought it from the stuff she used to wear when she was a kid, but I needed to tell my Mom that I had to find a new pair of pants pretty quickly. She seemed understanding of the issue and assured me that we’d find something for me to change into in a store nearby.

As we entered the store, Mom took me straight to the section for athletics and sportswear. I received a few pairs of leggings and some wide legged pants. “I know these are in fashion nowadays” she told me ”I have a few pairs for working out but of course I prefer dresses.” she told me while looking through.

After trying on a few pairs, we got them in a variety of colors and some even details with designs I thought looked cool. I picked out a few more tops and even a yellow and white sundress (that again I had no intention of wearing) that Mom suggested I buy. Mom bought me a few tennis skirts and a simple one strand pearl necklace. I don't see myself wearing any of these but I just tagged along. In about an hour we finished up with dinner before heading home.

By the time we came back, I was exhausted. Is this what women go through every day? Shit, I felt like I was tired after just the makeup. Speaking of which I quickly asked Mom how to remove it while she got some circular sheets of cotton and a bottle called makeup remover.

“And come right down after you’re done” she said. “There’s one more thing you should do before bed.”

I sighed and finished removing my makeup. Full disclosure, I kinda missed having the stuff on my face. And it was fun to experience it. But I followed Mom’s instructions and met her downstairs where she gave me a pretty sizable case filled with a bunch of creams and lotions

“We take care of our skin now” she told me. Every night before you go to bed.” she said finally before kissing my forehead and turning around to go to sleep herself.

By the time I’m done with my skincare routine (which I somehow knew how to do perfectly?) I'm in my bed trying to sleep. Who knows? I thought yawning. Hopefully I’ll just wake up tomorrow in my regular body and all of this would’ve been a weird dream. I hope it was.

Chapter 7: Discovery

I wanted to believe it was over. I even kept my eyes closed for a minute praying that it was. Unfortunately, the sight of my long blonde hair and the feeling of the studs in each of my earlobes proved that the events of yesterday did happen. I sighed as I rolled my studs as the employee at the mall told me to. This was real. There’s no getting out of it. Not unless I make an effort today. I was determined.

I quickly showered and made my way downstairs. Mom hadn’t woken up yet so I got a protein bar for breakfast and started the pot of coffee while waiting for Mom at the table. Sure enough, in around 5 minutes she showed up.

“Morning!” she said with a smile.

“Morning Mom!” I replied. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Well I was going to head over to the gym for a quick workout. Would you like to join?”

“That sounds great!” I said. At least I won’t be wandering around fully dressed en femme. Plus it’ll give me some time to think about finding a serious way of getting out of this mess in which I’m hopefully not getting too deep into. There had to be a way to reverse everything that’s happened. It’s only been a day, I couldn't've gone that far deep.

I put on a pair of leggings and a white top that I bought yesterday. After Mom’s approval we made our way to the gym. An hour later we walked out sweating and hearts pumping. “Man, I feel good,” I said

“Every morning hun!” Mom replied. “ And you're progressing so fast that I think it's time to introduce you to the club," she said "You're going to love it!"

"The....the club?" I asked. I remembered what Mom told me the first time she mentioned it and shuddered. I did not want to go there. This couldn’t be happening. Yet somehow it strangely excited me. My penis twitched, as I took my phone out to distract myself and tried to put the words Mom said out of my mind.

By the time we got home, I plopped down on my computer to do some more research. I unfortunately didn’t think of anything while at the gym but I told myself that I’d try some more online at home. No opportunity to escape either. I had the great honor to have Mom as my personal trainer who didn’t let me out of her sight once we entered the building. I tried to sneak to somewhere more secluded a few times but she was always right behind me. Rats!

The same pages I found yesterday came up. I must’ve been to page 6 on Google before I finally gave up. This was impossible, I told myself. With the way things are going she’ll have me feminized in a week.

I plopped down on my bed again and pulled the covers over myself to think. To actually think. What can I do? I had nothing.

All I could do was try and hope that deep down, something would crack. It could be a sympathetic doctor, some kid I meet at this club, something, Anything I just need an opening.

As I sighed and pushed the covers off to make my way to the TV and forget about my problems for a bit, out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the beige colored shoe box I got yesterday with one of the pairs of heels I got yesterday. “Huh” I wonder. I remember I definitely put all of them away.

I took the box and opened it. Inside were two black shoes with two inch heels. The tips were pointed and it was secured by a little belt that’s supposed to go over my ankle. “This looks so uncomfortable,” I thought. “How do you walk anywhere in these?”

I took one of the shoes out and inspected them further. I had to admit, they did look nice. I guess women really do go through a lot to look nice. “I barely remember buying these yesterday” I told myself and I instinctively unfastened the buckle at the ankle to see how they would look. As I slid my foot in, I noticed that even though they were thinner than the shoes that I was used to wearing, in reality, my feet have shrunk so much that it was not only possible but comfortable. I quickly put the second one on while sitting on my bed looking at my reflection in the full length mirror in front of me. I had to admit I looked good, even with just leggings and a simple white top. My penis twitched again. I liked that feeling.

I tried standing up to immediately be hit with the realization that even though I could get my feet in pretty easily, walking would be a whole other nightmare. Luckily, I put my hand on the wall for support so I didn’t fall but sitting back down and removing the heels I realized that if I did want to wear them I definitely needed to practice.

Wait. What was I thinking? I told myself as I quickly removed the heels. I don’t want to wear this. Do I? No. I definitely don’t. I had to get out of this room. I needed to clear my mind. Conversely, however I didn’t realize at the time, while heading down the stairs I thoughtlessly twisted my starter earrings.

Chapter 8: The Club

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Sure Mom and I talked a bit in the afternoon and she asked me what I wanted for dinner. I did want to get a pizza but for some reason, thinking about the cheese and grease made me feel nauseous so I opted for something simpler and lighter. My penis continued to twitch a few more times throughout the day here and there. If it gets worse I’d probably have to talk to Mom about it. *shudder* I honestly didn’t even want to think about that situation. ”

Speaking of Mom, I honestly thought that by this time I'd be more mad at her but I realized that it wasn’t even her fault. She’s probably trying to make this as easy for me as possible. Making the best out of a bad situation. But I wondered why she didn’t just try and switch me back. She didn’t even mention it. Like it wasn’t even a possibility. The only reasonable purpose I could come up with was that she actually liked being a sissy. It would make sense, I couldn’t imagine my mother as anything other than feminine and having her dream body must’ve been a no-brainer for her. While pondering as I got more and more comfortable in my body that day, I slowly started letting my guard down. It was dangerous but I had to do what needed to be done. Or at least I’ve been telling myself

“So, Mom,” I asked at the dinner table. “What’s the deal with this Club?”

“It’s just a social club where we can talk to and meet other sissies like us. They'll be other girls, but they'll all be at least a year older than you,” she told me. “Since you're a natural sissy, you're pretty much already a member, but that doesn't mean they're just going to let you just show up in jeans and a top. This is a place for sissies to be themselves and sissies are expected to look their best when attending. That means a full gown, hair, heels and makeup."

I wasn’t ready. Especially not like this, but the sound of hanging out in a room full of people like me sounds enticing. Maybe I’d find someone in the club to talk my Mom out of this whole thing. If we all rebel there really wasn’t a way they could keep us like this right? Was this my golden ticket out of this? To be honest, this was the only way out I could think of.

By the time I rolled around in bed, after my skincare routine, I felt much better than last night. I had hope. All I needed to do was infiltrate this club and organize everyone to force the sickos running this charade to stop it and make us return to our regular normal bodies. With that thought, I drifted off into deep slumber.

The next morning when I told Mom that I’d thought it over and would like to join the club, she couldn’t be more happy. “Oh, Amanda” she said “You’re going to be the prettiest sissy there. But we have a lot of work to do before you’re presentable enough, how about tomorrow, we spend a full day prepping you out. You can even wear those cute gold hoops we bought at the kiosk in the mall!"

I smiled. I was weirdly looking forward to this. The infiltration part mostly, but to be honest, I've been really enjoying having all this time just listening to and hanging out with Mom. It felt good that we could connect over something, even if I was still learning, asking her for help on this stuff has been great for our already good relationship.

Mom suggested we get a good workout so she suggested a game of tennis. It was a beautiful late autumn day. Not too cold and not too warm, so I really couldn’t disagree. Since I was officially joining the club, Mom suggested that I get used to wearing skirts.

“You’ll be wearing a dress on your first day there," she told me “Might as well get started with that tennis skirt we bought, remember?”

I did remember that skirt. Mom came up to my room as I fished it out of my closet. It was a white high waisted mini skirt that went around halfway between my ankles and my torso. It had a light pink line on the hem but other than that it was just a plain white. The zipper was in the back and although I’ve gotten better at hooking my bra, this was something entirely different.
Mom helped me get the skirt on as I picked out a light pink top to match the pink line on my skirt. Mom also brushed my hair and showed me how to tie it up into a ponytail which was easier than I thought. With the top, skirt and my hair in a ponytail, I could hardly believe that two days ago I was a guy. It seemed surreal.

Suddenly, my penis started twitching again. But now instead of a few seconds it lasted for at least half a minute. It was harder to hide too as to my horror, Mom looked down, smiled and handed me my tennis racquet like nothing was wrong. As she left to get the keys from her room, I waited in shock replaying in my head what just happened. In the car, Mom's voice drowned out in the background as I came to the realization that I was now actually enjoying this.

Chapter 9: Curiosity Kills the Cat

At this point, I still had my sanity. Sure I liked the feeling of wearing a skirt, I like the heels I saw yesterday but it was just that. A feeling. I could stop at any point.

Or at least that's what I told myself. I couldn't stop thinking about it, from the tennis game, to the car ride back to me back in my room just looking at the heels I tried on this morning. A part of me, and not a small part mind you, would like nothing more than to give it another shot. I was still wearing my tennis skirt from the morning, (I did change my top to a light blue one instead of the pink). It somehow felt natural, normal even. Not to mention comfortable and freeing.

Did I still have my sanity? Do I still think of myself as a man stuck here temporarily? Or did I think of myself as the sissy staring back at me from the mirror. My penis twitched again for a few seconds. "Even mentioning the word sissy is making me excited," I said dejectedly.

The somber tone of my voice strangely brought a small smile to my face. Weirdly enough, the fact that I wasn't enjoying what was happening with my body was proof enough that I was still in this. I still had a fighting chance. That being said......

The heels really were pretty, and I do need to practice to infiltrate the club, whatever that is. I had to try them on, but I needed help. I debated whether to ask Mom for help or not before deciding that I needed to ask her sooner or later for something girl related so better to just get it over with.

Mom was eager to help out and happy to see me take initiative. Somehow I felt good that I did too, even if this is something I'm being sorta forced to do. She brought me to the living room to help me learn how to walk in heels elegantly. I felt like a baby, having Mom hold my hand as she told me time and again. "Heel after toe dear. Heel after toe." As silly as that information sounded. It surprisingly worked. In no time, I was strutting the living room floor with my two inch heels in ease.

"Oh. Wonderful! Wonderful Amanda," she told me. "You're a natural. I smiled back.

Mom coached me some more on some quick feminine gestures, like how sit at a table with a skirt or dress, (she made me wear one of her full length red skirts which was so comfortable), combing my hair and a few basic patterns, some quick makeup tips for if I just need something on the fly and a whole bunch more. It seemed like a lot of information but it was mostly just about applying the basics. I noticed that I've already been performing these basic steps for the past few days, so learning the technique and how to properly execute these simple tasks was really helping me learn more about "how to pass" as Mom called it.

Throughout the entire ordeal, I was losing more and more confidence on the longevity of me keeping my masculinity. I started seriously debating with myself if it was all worth it? The infiltration plan, the sleepless nights. Mom wasn't really hurting me, in fact, the past few days have been some of the most fun I've had in my childhood. Do I really want to give all of this up, for....what exactly?

I had a purpose now, or at least my mother seems to think so, I didn't know what I was doing with my life as a dude, dressing up and shopping with Mom is......well it's fun and even though it hurts me saying this, I.....I don't really want to let it go. I kinda liked being a sissy.

By the end of the day, I felt confident enough to walk both on a straight floor and up and down stairs with my heels. I surprisingly didn't feel that they were as bad as I thought yesterday. I would definitely need some more practice but Mom said I could wear the two inch heels around to get more used to them and practice with her three inch heels if I felt like it. “Maybe you could even try a pair of stilettos if you’re doing well enough.” she added. I'm not going to deny that that statement excited a part of me. Mom reminded me to twist my studs, "I almost forgot about them" I remember telling myself as I did it. The two small silver metal balls have become just another part of my body.

As I finished putting my heels away and preparing to do my nightly facial routine (it's become second nature at this point), the thought of being too far deep into femininity entered my mind before it was quickly dismissed. No. The goal was still clear. Whatever it may be. As I twisted my studs once again, that night, many thoughts ran through my brain. I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy learning how to wear heels or do my hair or makeup or even just hang out with Mom for the day, but the goal was clear.

I can't stop thinking about the way the heels made me feel..........my mind started telling me as I was dozing off to sleep. "Elegant, Beautiful, Strong" words I never thought I'd use to describe myself, a pair of shoes made me feel. I wasn't dreading wearing Mom's two inch heels. Both me and my penis seemed to love the idea. I don't know if I was totally lost by that point but for once it didn't matter. I went to bed that night not worried about my ever fading masculinity but slowly but fully embracing the femininity that was being thrust on me.

Chapter 10: En Femme (Part 1)

I woke up that morning with a newfound confidence and energy that I’ve never experienced. Today was the day, Mom told me that she'd dress me up. The funny thing was, I was fine with it, excited in fact. Should I be excited? Is.....any of this.......normal? Do I care about what’s considered normal anymore?

I energetically finished my shower and started finding a pair of panties and a bra to cover up quickly before Mom arrived. Luckily, I was getting pretty good at wearing a bra by this point. I almost don't even need the mirror anymore and now I appreciate how much support they give my breasts, these things aren’t the easiest things to carry around.

O…..Ok. you caught me. I also kinda just like wearing a bra. It felt natural somehow? I can’t explain it.

As I saw my reflection in the mirror, I saw what seemed to be a regular girl, bra, hair, even a little makeup that I didn't really want to take off last night, everything screamed GIRL!, except one glaring objection between my legs, my......dick, it was just hanging there. Looking surprisingly pretty. I mean it was my own dick but even so, it looked especially beautiful now. Seeing it attached to a cute girl......I could see how guys would like this. "I think I might kind of like it too" I said slowly to myself as I watched it happen.

My penis started to twitch

It grew slowly at first but then it grew quicker and quicker almost too fast and before I realized it, my dick was at full mast, almost perpendicular to my torso. I felt the rush of blood rush down to my penis, almost like energy from places I didn't know come all

being sent down there. I didn't touch it. I was too scared to see what was going on, and after a few seconds it started to dissipate, and my penis shrunk again.

I sat back down on my bed. "What the fuck was that" I said to myself. Why did it just....grow and what was that feeling.....for a few
seconds I felt like I had all the energy in the world. Like my essence being boiled down to a single spot. It felt borderline magical. I wanted for it to happen again. I needed it to happen again.

Slowly, I took my hand and started stroking my penis. It felt warm, meaty even, it had girth and substance. I liked how it felt in my hands, growing, almost pulsating like it was alive in my hands. It was calling to me, begging me to stroke it. I opened my hand slowly and immediately closed it and held it back but something was pulling me to do it, something out of my control. "Just let it happen, Amanda," I told myself. It was the first time I ever used that name to describe myself.

As I was stroking it, I felt the energy concentrate near my penis again, but this time it felt more intense. Like when a hose when it's being pumped through with a stream of water, I felt something pumping through my own penis. As it grew to its full length I saw that it definitely grew since the last time I've inspected it this closely (which was before I became a sissy), now I was at least 6 inches, if not more. Despite its large size, it still somehow kept its femininity, maybe because it was clean shaven or, that it was cut, there was something about it which screamed. I might be a penis, but I'm most definitely not a male penis.

Soon, a thin stream of sticky colorless liquid came out of the tip, in drops first but then a stream, the energy was starting to mount, deeper and deeper, stronger and stronger, something was about to burst.

Then it did. A long stream of thick white liquid came oozing off my dick. The energy that was building had vanished, the liquid was coating my hands, it was thick and sticky, almost the consistency of snot but much whiter like milk. I had this urge, no.....a need to.....well I'm embarrassed, but here goes. I had a strange need to taste it.

"No......No that came from me" I told myself before quickly washing my hands with soap. "Ye....Yeah" I said. "Let me put my panties on and wash this off,” I need to call Mom to pick out my outfit today too.
Chapter 11: En Femme (Part 2)

When I told Mom I was ready to walk in a few minutes later, she nodded approvingly at my getup.

"Great job, Amanda," she told me. Now let's see what you've learned in the past few days. What are you planning?

"Me?" I asked. "You told me you'd be picking my clothes out"

"I did say that, '' she told me. "But I think this is a great learning opportunity for you. Go on then, what are you planning?" she asked

My choices that morning were a matching set of panties which I was already wearing and silly me, I just realized that I didn't mention the color of my lingerie, that morning (baby blue). The yellow and white sundress....of course! Aaaaaannnnndddd, Oh yeah makeup, clear foundation, no blush this time, a few strokes of the eyeliner and some peach lip gloss. Nothing too fancy. By Mom's own accords, I was getting pretty good at this.

I looked at the dress and remembered when I told myself that I'd never put this on. Now, not only was I wearing it, I literally picked it out for myself today. It's funny how much changed, it seemed close, yet so far away. "It IS cute though" I said under my breath while putting it on. Seeing my reflection in the mirror, makeup on point and dressed up evidently female, without a soul thinking otherwise, I wanted to cry, but not tears of sadness, just the opposite. I loved it. I loved every bit of it, unapologetically, I didn't want to change a thing, until.....

Mom stepped behind me and said. "You know what'll really go well with that dress? Those gold hoops we bought at the kiosk. Let me just fish them out of my purse."

"No....Mom....wait. I don't know how to wear earrings yet"

"Well, it's pretty easy, you'll figure them out," she said. "Plus, no self respecting sissy would go out without earrings, and your ears are pretty much healed now. I think it's the perfect time to wear them.

I was definitely excited to try on the gold hoops. Maybe it was because I got my ears pierced three days ago and I've had to wait this long to try them or that the fact that they're so evidently feminine, made my penis twitch again. As Mom headed out the door to get them, I realized that this Moment would be the final choice I make on the road to femininity, the deciding factor in whether my future was inherently male or female.

In a few minutes, Mom brought out the chunky gold hoops that we brought that day. I had to admit, she was right, they would go perfectly with this sundress. I had Mom help me take out the temporary silver studs, (I barely noticed her removing them) and just looked at the hoops for a bit. They were simple gold hoops that didn’t go around the entire way so they had a pretty easy clasp mechanism. I then found the clasp on one of the earrings, opened it up and saw a thin short golden wire. Looking in the mirror. I carefully threaded the golden wire through the hole in my right ear and fastened the clasp on the other end. The earrings were quite chunky so I felt the movement of the hoop around my right ear. “I like this feeling,” I said. I then quickly put on the other one and spent a good 5 minutes just shaking my head feeling the accessories. Pure bliss. Mom quickly got out a few bracelets for my wrists to tie the entire look together. I loved every part of it, and I'm not going to lie. This was the Moment for me.

And to think, a week ago, I wouldn't have wanted any of this. A week ago I was minding my own business not knowing the joy that I had felt that day, I told myself smiling.....Mom was right, I should've just trusted the process. It was at this point I knew that there was no turning back. I loved it all too much. Sure, nobody has to know about the.....episode with the thick liquid earlier but I like being a sissy, and I'm proud to be one. It should go without saying that the infiltration plan was dead. It was a long shot anyways and not worrying about it will probably get my mind to focus on more important things, like when's our next shopping trip, when can I start at this club? Will there be boys? Will I like them now"? I was scared, but excited. No longer do I want to go back. I don't think I can go back now even if I wanted to and that was fine with me. Honestly I don't even remember my old name.