Sam has hid from the world for most of his life but a chance encounter threatens to burst everything open, and reveal a world he never expected.

Sam walked through his apartment. He had far fewer parties here than he'd expected when he'd moved in. In truth, he didn’t have a single party. Only a few had ever been inside.

Now empty, everything seemed smaller.

Sam stood at the balcony and lit a cigarette. How many times had he stood here at night, dressed in full femme, his small rebellion against a cruel world. Hidden under a canopy of stars, this place had been his sanctuary.
He tossed the cigarette over the side and watched the sparks from the ash float into the darkness.

“My last one,” he promised himself for the thousandth time. This time he meant it. His therapist told him he was running away from his problems, but she didn’t know Tommy.

It had been a month since his friend surprised him.

“Holy shit. How’d you get here?”

Tommy stood on the front stoop of Sam’s third floor apartment. “The fraternity gave me your address. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No. Not at all.” Sam did his best to keep a straight face as he told the lie.

He recognized his former roommate straight away. Tommy was a little thicker in the middle, but otherwise looked the same. He still wore the same hairstyle - blondish-brown hair to the side that showed no signs of thinning. A tailored suit complimented his 6’2” frame.

“Nice outfit.”

“You like it?”

“I bet I could buy five suits for the price you paid for that one.”

“You gotta dress the part.”

Chicago had some of the best law firms in the world and if the rumors were true, Tommy was a fast mover.

“What brings you to St. Louis?”

Tommy's trademark grin disappeared. “I thought an old friend might be happy to see me. I had business nearby and thought I’d stop by. I can leave if you’re busy.”

Sam shook his head, “No … no. I wasn’t expecting you.” He opened the door slightly wider, hoping Tommy wouldn’t look too close at the outfit laying on his couch.

Tommy said, “The guys missed you at the 10-year reunion. I’d hoped to see you there.”

Sam looked at his toes. “Something came up.”

“You didn’t return any of my calls.”

Sam said, “Things have been crazy at work. You know how it goes.”

Tommy nodded but his face looked blank, “I thought we might have a drink. For old times sake.”

“Yeah???” Sam stepped through the door’s frame, hoping his large frame might block Tommy’s view. “We could go right now.” Sam said, as he shut the door behind him.

Tommy took a step back. “Uhhh … sure. Is there a good bar around here?”

“There’s one up the street.”

“Sounds good. You lead the way.”

The two old friends walked in the awkward silence down the sidewalk. Sam took several quick looks at Tommy’s face, but he betrayed no emotion. The benefit of courtroom training. Their last parting hadn’t been friendly. It was one of the reasons Sam took the job in St. Louis.

They made it halfway when Tommy asked, “How about the Cubs?”

Sam shook his head. “You’re still rooting for them?”

Tommy said, “They’re better than the Cardinals.”

“Talk like that will get you lynched in this town.”

“Heh.”

Sports. The universal conversation filler for men who desperately want to talk about other things.

They’d planned to move to Chicago after graduation, but everything changed when Tommy met Danielle. She and Tommy went to Northwestern for Law School. Sam ended up in St. Louis. When the invitation to their wedding arrived, Sam tossed it in the trash.

A few of the bar's other patrons looked their way as they entered. A sign at the door said they could grab any seat.

Tommy asked, “Do you usually sit at the bar or a table?”

“The bar’s fine.” Sam said, not wanting to admit this was his first visit.

Tommy looked around. “This place is a little rough around the edges, but it isn’t too bad.”

“You and I have seen worse.”

Tommy laughed, “God knows that’s true.” He paused for a second. “Did you hear Danielle left me?”

“Yeah.” The sudden change of topic stole Sam’s breath. He’d wondered how long it would take his friend. “I was sorry to hear about that.”

Tommy’s smirk said he didn’t believe him. “I went to the reunion to see you.”

“Really?”

“Do you think we can stop lying to each other?” Tommy said, “I’ll start. I don’t have business nearby.”

“Oh.” A burst of feelings tickled Sam’s stomach. He blinked a few times hoping Tommy might not see.

"You didn’t give me much choice.” Tommy continued, “You’ve avoided my calls. You skipped the reunion. I know you were mad at me, but I didn’t think you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you Tommy.”

Tommy didn’t flinch, “I thought I might hear from you after the divorce was final. I know you hated Danielle. You could have called to gloat. You predicted it the last time we spoke.”

Losing Tommy to Danielle hurt more than Sam dared admit. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Tommy.”

Tommy raised his hand, calling for another drink. “Everyone asked about Danielle at the reunion.” A glisten appeared in Tommy's eyes. “It was Danielle this and Danielle that. I needed my wingman at my side.”

“I couldn’t go … it’s complicated.”

“I know.” Tommy took a deep breath and sighed, “It was hard to be mad at the guys. I know I screwed things up in our Senior year. It was like Danielle had me under her spell. Nothing else mattered.”

Sam could see the pain etched in his old friend's face. There was no avoiding the topic. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’ve never had a woman who made me feel so …” Tommy paused. “… full. Law school was great but things changed once we got jobs.”

“I’ve heard you’re doing well at the law firm.”

Tommy didn’t take the bait to change the subject. “I’m not sure why she ended it. At least the divorce was easy. Danielle didn’t want a thing. She gave me the house.”

“It can’t be that bad, Tommy. You’ve got an amazing job, and it’s not like you’ve ever had problems picking up women. I bet you’re swimming in them.”

“It’s not the same without my wingman.” Tommy smiled for the first time since he brought up Danielle’s name. “I miss you, dude.”

Sam’s insides turned to mush. When Sam first met Tommy, his friend had a date with a different girl every week. Most of the guys in the fraternity followed Tommy to get his cast-offs. Sam had his own reasons. “I wanted to go to the reunion, but our last conversation got heated.”

“I know.”

Sam could see the pain in his friend’s eyes. “I'm sorry, Tommy. I’ve been a jerk. I should have returned your calls.”

Tommy nodded, “It’s in the past. I need a friend right now.”

“Whatever you need, Tommy.”

The pair talked until the bartender threw them out, and they parted as friends. Sam figured it would be another ten years before their next meeting. A week later, he got a call the next week from a marketing firm in Chicago who had an opening for a senior marketing analyst. It was a client of Tommy’s who owed him a favor. One month and five interviews later, Sam had the job.

It took the guys from the moving company less than two hours to clear out the apartment. It’s scary how quick the total accumulation of a person’s existence can be erased from a place. But Sam didn’t allow them to move everything. The attic held his most prized possessions, and now all of them lay spread out on the living room floor. With Tom living in close proximity, it was time to say goodbye.

Sam folded every piece carefully and placed them in the suitcase, then waited for it to get dark. A loud splash announced the first suitcase hitting the water of the quarry. It stayed on top long enough to become worrisome, but the suitcase wasn’t watertight, and it eventually sank beneath the waves. Sam held the second suitcase in his hand for a long while before opening it up and pulling out a small bag. He couldn’t get rid of everything.

The second splash followed. Thankfully, it sank much quicker.

A scan in all directions showed no signs of anyone watching. It would be years before anyone found it, if ever. If they did, they’d have more questions than answers.

Sam’s hand shook as he lit a final cigarette. He had a long drive ahead.

The movers arrived at Tommy’s house at 8AM. His friend had been all too willing to volunteer his house as Sam’s temporary residence, with a constant reminder Sam could live there on a permanent basis if he wished. Sam said no, afraid of the part of himself now laying at the bottom of a quarry. He needed time to figure things out. He needed to know if he could change.

All his big stuff went into storage. All the little stuff went into Tommy’s garage.

Sam couldn’t complain. Tommy's house was a bachelor’s dream. His friend had at least three big screen TVs with a fully stocked wet bar and a small hot tub in the back. They’d laughed at the thought of the trouble they could have gotten into if they’d lived there in college.

Tommy covered his walls with pictures of the past, but none contained Danielle.

When Sam left college, he stood 6’1”, and only a few pounds above his high school weight of 175 lbs. Few who saw him now would believe they were the same person. The bulge around his middle long ago passed from spare tire to obese, but Tommy never said a word about the change in his appearance.

A new town -- new habits and his new job didn’t start for another two weeks. There as no time like the present to get started.

Sam found the box with his old bike in the garage. He’d meant to throw it out years ago but the memories made him hang on to it. The chain came off easy, as did the crank. Sam checked all the components one by one. In college, he’d been good enough to place in a few local races, and the fraternity counted on him to be the anchor leg in the school’s relay race.

Ten years was a long time for a bike to lay dormant but Sam spent most of the morning cleaning each part and adding a good dash of lubricant. By mid-afternoon it felt reasonably road worthy.

His old bike gear lay amongst his other clothes. He didn’t have the heart to throw it out either. Squeezing into it was another matter. Sam had second thoughts as he looked in the mirror. The biking shorts were at least two sizes too small. To pull them up to his waist, meant they grew so tight against his crotch his private parts crept up into their hiding spots in order to avoid excruciating pain.

The lycra top didn’t look bad the first time he pulled it into place but a single breath caused it to roll up past his belly, giving the appearance of a half tank top. It looked ridiculous, but Sam didn’t have time to go shopping for anything bigger, so instead he hid both items under a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before throwing his bike in the trunk of his car.

Everything felt different as he pedaled. His thighs were on fire but he had expected that. What he had not expected was just how difficult it was to keep it going. The crankshaft made a clicking sound, and the derailleur refused to work. It took three miles before a cramp in his thighs forced him to turn around.

Sam was a mile from his car when he heard a ‘pop’ and the sound of rushing air.

‘Dammit.’

Years of repression and deliberate self-delusion flared through his body.

His saddlebag contained several spares, all at least eight years old. Age was part of the cause for the flat, but there was no denying his flabby body the real cause.

Sam didn’t hear the sound of the approaching biker or the squeal of her brakes.

“Need some help?”

The woman standing over him straddled an expensive looking bike. He’d never been very good with women.

“I’m about done here.”

“Are you sure?”

Sam had barely started removing the inner tube. He’d forgotten so much. “I’m good.”

“I’ve got time. I’ll wait to make sure it’s roadworthy.” She stared at Sam, and Sam not knowing what to say, returned his attention to his bike. A large gust of wind hit him as he pulled out the old tube. He replaced it with a new one, then reset the tire. As begin using the air pump, he saw the woman had not moved.

She said, “You look like you’ve had a lot of experience changing flats.”

Sam did not look up, “I used to ride a lot.”

“Do you want some company on the ride back? I’d feel responsible if you got another flat and had to walk.”

Sam started to object, but it would be nice to have company. “Sure.”

Sam hopped on his bike, his crankshaft making a loud groan at first touch.

“It sounds like your bike needs a tune up.”

“Yeah, it’s been in storage for years.”

The woman smiled but didn’t say anything.

Sam did his best to act normal. It had been years since he’d been alone with a girl. Girl wasn’t the right descriptor of the person riding beside him. She appeared to be in her early thirties with calves showing the definition of someone who’d spent many hours in the saddle.

She spoke again, “What’s your name?”

Sam mentally smacked himself for his utter lack of game, “My name is Sam. Sam Gibson.”

The woman gave him a big smile, holding her hand out with an ease but using Sam’s tone of formality, “My name is Tracy. Tracy Spellman.”

Sam tried to think of something to say, finding relief when Tracy spoke again, “What do you do for a living, Sam?”

“I work in advertising. I just moved to the city.”

“Nice. Welcome to Chicago, Sam. I’d imagine it’s a great town for someone in your profession.”

“I’m not sure, but I’m hopeful. I got in a rut at my old job.”

“How so?” Tracy seemed genuinely interested.

“It worked long hours and had no life. I needed a change.”

“Is that why you’re riding today?”

Sam tried to hide his increasing heavy breaths. “I guess so. I’m out of shape. Sorry if I’m slowing you down.”

Tracy stared as the stiff breeze in their face quickened, “I have a proposition if you are interested.”

“A proposition?” Sam’s face reddened, “I … uhhh...”

“Not that kind of proposition.” Tracy laughed, “I’m a sales rep for a bike company, but my primary job is working with athletes to improve their training. In fact, my company is having a competition to see which of their reps can train the fastest rider. I had a student but they dropped out. I thought you might be interested.”

Sam shook his head, “Ten years ago, I would have loved to take you up on your offer, but right now … I'm a waste of your time.” At that moment, the derailleur decided to shift gears without warning. “And as you can hear, my bike isn’t in much better shape.”

Tracy gave a sympathetic look, “Trust me. You’d be helping me. My boss expects me to show up with someone. And your bike is no issue as you’ll use our equipment. I’m sure this whole this is the idea of a marketing genius like you but I follow orders..” Tracy laughed at her joke, then winked at Sam. “Why shouldn’t I help you?”

“I guess…” Sam blushed, “I don’t start work for another two weeks. When do you want to start?”

“Tomorrow. We have a lot of work to do. The race is on Saturday.”

“Saturday!?!? There’s no way I’ll be ready for a race by Saturday.”

Tracy smiled, “I think you’ll be surprised at how quickly you improve. If nothing else, I’ll have our technicians work on your bike. In the meantime, you’ll have to put up with me for a week.” She flashed a brilliant smile.

Sam’s front bike tire wiggled as he fought to retain control. It didn’t make sense for a beautiful woman to try this hard, but he’d be a fool to turn her down. “Ok.”

“Awesome. I’ll meet you here first thing tomorrow and you can sign the contracts.”

“Contracts?”

“Come on, Sam. You know nothing is done in the business world without a lot of paperwork. I’ve got to clear you with my bosses, and you’ll need to sign a few things. It’s no big deal.”

Sam shrugged, “Ok.”

They were approaching the parking lot and Tracy asked, “Meet in the parking lot at 9am tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Great.” Tracy said. “My car is further down the path. I’ll see you then.” Sam watched as she sped away faster than seemed possible.

Tommy was in the kitchen when Sam arrived. “Out seeing what Chicago has to offer?”

“I went to the park for a ride.”

“Heh.” Tommy nodded, “You lived on that thing in college.”

Sam patted his belly, “I haven’t used it much lately.”

Tommy didn’t engage, “Speaking of bellies, are you hungry? I’m about to finish making dinner.”

“I’m famished.”

Sam had worried when he'd accepted Tom's invitation, the ten years of separation would lead to awkward silences. An outsider watching them now would never guess they hadn’t seen one another in a decade. Sam knew he shouldn’t be surprised. He’d once been closer to Tommy than anyone else in his life. The ease of their conversations gave a happiness he’d dearly missed.

“I’m going to be out of town all week on business, but I’ll be back on Friday. Why don’t we plan on dinner, then a night on the town. It’s been a while since I’ve gone to a club with my wingman at my side.“

Sam gave thought to mentioning Saturday’s race, but knew Tracy was crazy. There’s no way he’d be ready for a race that quick. “I don’t envy you living out of a suitcase all week.”

Tommy said, “It’s not so bad. I’m staying in a fancy hotel and I’ll be eating in the best restaurants.”

Sam scoffed, “I know that’s a lie. It is more like room service while you work on a laptop and any fancy meal in a restaurant usually involves a client and a lot of sucking up. I don’t envy you in the least.”

Tommy nodded, “It shouldn’t be too bad. We’re doing a bunch of depositions for an upcoming trial. Do you have any big plans for the week?”

“Nope. Maybe I’ll see the sights.”

“I feel like I’m abandoning you.”

Sam said, “Don’t worry about it. I need to find my way around the city, and I’m too old to have a babysitter. To be honest, I’m looking forward to a week of peace and quiet. I can’t remember the last time I could truly relax. I am going to try to enjoy it.”

“You’re making me jealous.”

Sam smiled and their conversation drifted. They chatted aimlessly for a few more hours before going to bed.

Tracy typed a text message into a secure datapad. It arrived in Amsterdam seconds later:
I met someone today. My scan didn’t find anything unusual, but their shields were much stronger than expected. Probably a waste of time, but I need to keep up appearances.

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