The story so far: Joe was sharing a flat with two beauty consultants who had given him a makeover because of his dazzling eyes. As a result he had been dressed as a girl and taken to a nightclub where the three had met three brothers. They got on so well that they all met up again the next day and had an enjoyable afternoon out...

That evening our (landline) phone was red hot. Firstly Chris had an hour with Dan, then it was Sue with Phil for another hour while I was hoping Charlie would ring as soon as Phil rang off. Which, of course, he didn't.

I was getting a bit worried until the phone rang ten minutes later and Charlie apologised because his dad had pulled rank by asking "Would you mind terribly if I used the phone that I pay for but haven't been able to use for the last two hours?"

We then took an hour to say what in hindsight seemed to be very little at all, but I was smitten and said yes when he suggested he and I meet on Thursday to go for a meal. I immediately worried that I may have seemed a bit too enthusiastic because Sue and Chris had warned me that that can put men off, apparently, as they like the thrill of the chase.

So we girls then had a conference and discussed the coming week’s arrangements like it was a military campaign. Chris and Dan would be going to the cinema on Wednesday when Sue and Phil would be going to a pub, and I was glad that Sue and Chris would both be free to help me out with my makeup on Thursday. And I needed something to wear for our meal.

When lunchtime arrived on the Monday, the girls and I rushed our lunch and went round the city centre chain stores looking for things to impress the Wilkins boys with. Previously I'd been able to borrow the girls' clothes but I now needed some of my own. And although we could have got a 15% staff discount on anything in our own store, that would still cost us more than going elsewhere.

We only had enough time to identify likely options, so we went again on Tuesday to try on and possibly buy. Luckily by Wednesday we’d all bought something for the club and something for our dates without breaking the bank.

On Wednesday evening I wasn’t much involved so I organised our takeaway meal and then was able to watch two real girls getting ready for a date, and to query why certain things were done. Among all the answers they were able to explain that some of it was just for men’s benefit and it was all useful information to know. And once they had been picked up by the twins, and having watched the girls doing their faces, I tried to do my own, using the makeup kit they had somehow managed to acquire for me.

My first attempt was abysmal so I cleaned it off and had another try, which was better. I then had two more goes, comparing them to the photos of my face done by Sue. And, although I say so myself, I was rather pleased. I would certainly be able to touch up my face during our date even if my skills weren’t yet up to ‘experienced amateur’ level, although tomorrow evening’s face would be professionally done.

Sue and Chris arrived back at the same time, both couples having met outide our block of flats a good few minutes earlier so, having sent the twins on their way happy, they then were able to instruct me about what goes on in solo dates - and after them.

So on Thursday it was my turn. The girls used a hair curler to put a bit of shape into my hair and gave me long, dangly earrings to go with a necklace and a bangle, but my plain blue dress said ‘demure’ rather than ‘flashy’ as that would require a bit more confidence than I possessed. The girls finished me off with a rather expensive French perfume, and with that in my nostrils I was unable to think of myself as anyone but the lovely Josie.

Bang on time, the lovely Charlie arrived, dressed immaculately – to collect me in his elderly but perfectly fine car and he did all the usual stuff like bringing me flowers and opening the car door for me, all of which made me feel rather special.

We went to the restaurant, which treated us like royalty and our meals were wonderful.

Our conversation roved over all sorts of topics: our families, childhood memories, our expectations in life. Some of mine I had to feminise but mostly it was completely true.

At one point Charlie raised the topic of my hunt for a permanent job and asked how it was going. I said that with the changes to my life of late, what with moving homes and acquiring a boyfriend, it had taken a back seat but I was hoping to start looking again in the next week or so.

Charlie then said that he’d mentioned me to someone in the Organic Chemistry Department whose female chemist colleague would shortly be taking maternity leave, and thus a replacement would be needed for six months. He suggested I apply as, even if I didn't get the job, it would at least give me some experience for future job applications.

He asked if I would be interested and I jumped at the chance so he said he’d see what he could do.

So, after a wonderful evening with a perfect gentleman, I was even more keen on Charlie. He brought me home and left me with something to remember him by – a rather smeared face!

As I walked into the flat, the girls acted blasé and Sue just said “I see you’ve been kissing boys again! You’ll be getting a reputation,” before saying “Out with it girl! Spill all to Auntie Sue and Auntie Chris,” and I did!

With all our dates having gone well and all six parties still being on board, Saturday’s return to the place where we’d first met was now confirmed and, this time, getting ready was much less hassle than the previous week and I was entrusted with doing my own makeup with only the odd instruction or repair coming from the girls.

This time, the boys took us to a pub near the club to get some cheaper drinks prior to being fleeced at the club later. There we were introduced to some of the lads’ mates, who seemed impressed by us. They in turn introduced us to their girlfriends, and they were all a friendly bunch. I was worried for a while that someone amongst them might recognise me but since I didn't recognise any of them I relaxed and was soon distracted by Charlie saying “Well, Josie, what do you think of our gang?”

“They all seem very nice, but then I would expect your friends to be nothing else but nice!”

We all went on to the club and had an energetic yet relaxing time, free of the pressures of trying to get ‘fixed-up’ and this time, instead of two teams of three, we were definitely three teams of two. And each team of two made their own arrangements for things to do the next day.

So Charlie and I went to the cinema on the Sunday afternoon. And when I invited him back for a coffee, he spotted his brothers’ coats on the sofa but nobody could be seen. However our ears soon alerted us to where everyone was and we guessed they didn’t want company!

So I just made the coffees and we sat on the sofa. But one thing led to another and I thought we might be more comfortable on my bed, but voices in my head were screaming, “No! Don’t risk it!”

Charlie could tell that I was reticent to allow him the same liberties that his brothers had just been given. He was very polite about it and didn’t try to persuade me to do anything I may not want to do but our afternoon then sort of went a bit flat and he decided to leave. The others must have heard the door close so they emerged from their rooms shortly afterwards and the twins followed Charlie home.

I spent the evening in tears, which the girls couldn’t do a lot to stem, and on the Monday I took a 'sickie'.

The three of us had a conference that evening. And when Dan rang he was told something had come up and we’d speak to them all the following day.

We all knew what the problem was, but didn’t know the answer.

Chris said “Do you like him a lot?”

I nodded.

“Do you love him?”

I nodded again.

You're very inexperienced. Are you sure it's not just a crush?

I said "Yes, I'm sure."

“Would you like to become a woman for him?”

“Yes.”

“If you and he broke up, would you still like to be a woman?”

I burst into tears, and the girls comforted me for a few minutes but then she asked again.

“Would you like to be a woman, Josie, or would you prefer to remain a man?”

Silence.

“So are you a woman or a man?”

“I’m a woman, and I’ve just lost my wonderful man.”

“No you haven’t, you silly girl, he just came up against a woman’s right to choose what to do with her body, and Sue and I are partly responsible for raising his expectations.”

“Yes, we both regret having put you and Charlie under pressure like that! I’m so sorry, Josie. We weren’t thinking!“

Chris then said, “Look, he may have gone home disappointed but he’ll come round. He’s obviously as smitten with you as you are with him.”

“But you don’t know that!”

“My source has told me that he is!”

“And mine!” Sue added.

“But you need to tell him something to explain your reluctance, and the longer into the relationship that you leave it, the more of a problem it will be. Little white lies to prospective boyfriends may be part of the game but relationships need trust and that requires honesty.”

“So what should I do?”

“Wait for him to contact you and take it from there,” Chris said. “He’s not stupid. I bet that right now he’s thinking that he was acting on other people’s signals rather than yours and is realising that he’ll be missing out on the most amazing pair of eyes attached to the most wonderful girl in the world unless he patches things up.”

And no sooner had she finished speaking than the doorbell rang. Sue answered it and came back, saying “It’s someone for you, Josie. I’d get yourself tidied up with a bit of slap if I were you and we’ll hold him at bay for a few minutes.”

The few minutes became more like twenty before my dazzling eyes emerged to see a huge bunch of flowers and a Charlie who was rather nervously waiting to see me, and we both said "Hi" at the same time. Neither of us noticed that, as if by magic, we were now on our own in the room.

“I’m so sorry, Josie. I was being so selfish and my going off in a huff like that was inexcusable. I know I must have left you bemused and hurt.”

“You could say that, but I'm glad that you came back to see me. So, do the apology and the flowers mean that if I choose to forget what happened, we're back together again?”

“We are if you still want me to be your boyfriend.”

Squishy noises followed as recently-applied lipstick was rearranged on two faces.

When we came up for air, I said “Right, now that’s behind us, perhaps we ought to have a little chat, but it might be fair if we let the other two out of their imprisonment.”

So Chris and Sue returned and pretended to not know that Charlie and I had made up, but our two smeared and smiling faces must have made it obvious ... and if I know them, possibly two tumblers held against the wall had as well!

I then said “Charlie and I have some arrangements to discuss so we’ll get out of your way for a while." – which was news to Charlie – and I led him into my room and shut the door.”

“So what are these arrangements then?”

“Well, there’s the job you were going to ask about for me. Then there’s where we’ll be going when you take me out tomorrow.”

“But first... there’s... er... your trousers! I think they are in need of some urgent rearrangement, because there’s something sticking up inside them!

So the discussion agenda was commenced. But, after the first item was successfully completed to our mutual satisfaction, I was able to ask if he’d be happy to do that again whenever the opportunity arose. He of course didn’t object.

I then explained “Because I have an issue that precludes vaginal sex for a while. I hope I can make you happy in the meantime.”

“Ah! So that was the problem on Sunday. I thought it may be that you were just not ready to have sex yet, or perhaps you were having your monthly thing, but I did consider the possibility that it was something physical. So what exactly is the issue?”

“Well, I don’t know quite how to say this, but I don’t have a... a vagina. So to have vaginal sex I’d need a bit of surgery first.”

Silence.

“Is that because of an accident of nature?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Well, nobody would ever think you were a man, so how come?”

Then I broke down crying. “Oh, Charlie, I’m so sorry!”

“What do you mean – I’m confused!”

“I didn’t mean to lead you on, It was only an exercise in being out in public. We never expected to meet three gorgeous men.”

“I’m still confused. What was an exercise in being out in public?”

“I’d had a sheltered life as you know, and I’d not had much experience of dating or even socialising, so the girls took me out to experience a club. And the Wilkins brothers rather hi-jacked it – but in a good way.”

“Nope, still confused!”

“Do I have to spell it out, Charlie? You've just mentioned it! And although I want to do something about it soon, at the moment I am not as female as I’d like to be, and slightly more male than I’d prefer to be.”

“You mean that...”

“I’m sorry Charlie, but I hope you’ll understand that I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with the first man I danced with, but I did. It was all meant to just be a bit of fun after the girls gave me a makeover, and now that you know, you’re going to leave me. I’m so, so sorry for ruining what could have been a wonderful relationship.”

I then burst into tears again and he cuddled me and said “It’s OK. I’m not leaving the girl I love.”

“But, but... What did you just say?”

“I’m not leaving the girl I love.”

“Oh!”

[Kiss.]

“But you do realise that staying with me would mean we couldn’t have children.”

“We could adopt.”

“But… What? ...We? ...You mean you don’t mind?”

“Well, I know it will mean some difficulties that few couples face, but when you’re in love, you just get on with it.”

[Kiss.]

“You seem to be taking this awfully well, Charlie.”

[Kiss.]

“Well, I have two brothers who are quite intimate with two sisters who both know your secret. Do you seriously think that secrets are safe inside bedrooms? One of the twins accidentally let something slip last night and I picked up on it so, despite his denials, I had more or less guessed what the problem might be, and yet I’m here now!”

“I’ll kill them!”

[Kiss.]

“Perhaps I won’t!”

[Kiss.]

Another trouser bulge was dealt with before Charlie said “And the next item on the agenda, I believe, is a new job for Miss Josie Green, and I can reveal that my enquiries have been most encouraging...”

[Kiss, etc...]

THE END

Mesmer-eyes ©2024 Suzie Dalkin

[Anyone old enough to remember the British sitcom “Are You Being Served” should already have an idea of life in department stores at that time because Jeremy Lloyd, one of the co-writers, had worked in one.]

Image adapted from one supplied by pixabay.com