Emotionally shattered

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I must say that for a while today, I thought that I was going to spend some time on the Psych ward. I had just read where the 11 year old who spent 18 years with her captor was feeling extremely guilty about having identified with her captor.

Reading "Venus Curse" today caused another shock wave in the force for me. For a while I felt very traumatized by it.

It is so strange to me how we suddenly get memories that we did not even know were there. When I was young, I tried so hard to identify and have a relationship with the man who half killed me many times. Finally after one particularly brutal beating when I was around 13, I started calling him his name, "Cliff". Not too long after that, I tried to murder him, but he was too strong. He beat the hell out of me then, but after he left, I told him, "you'll have to sleep sometime". He never touched me again.

So, the reaction that Sarah is having seems quite plausable to me.

It is nearly midnight, and I have had a wonderful evening with friends. I have decided that I am not going down the rabbit hole, but I am going to spend the week end taking hot baths, eating ice cream, reading my favorite fiction and loving myself. Who knows, maybe I'll go buy myself a Baby Bottle and fill it with Pina Colada flavored warm milk.

As far as Mr Geraddo goes, tonight I am going to dream of my sitting on his chest, and eating his heart while it still beats.

Khadija

Comments

*hugs*!

That's all I can really say or do. >.< So, great hugs, and I hope you are able to think of other, better things for a while.

-Liz

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

Go girl -

Angharad's picture

let your hijab down!

Me, I'm going on a bike ride once I de-flea two cats!

Angharad :)

Angharad

I'm really sorry Khadija, I

I'm really sorry Khadija, I should have put a CAUTION tag on that (I thought of it a couple days ago when I knew it was coming up, but then I totally forgot about it). I've suppressed quite a few memories before, but nothing anywhere near as traumatic as that. I guess I didn't realize how upsetting it could be. I'm glad you've got some good friends around you who could help you to feel better. I hope you have a good weekend and feel much better soon!

Saless

P.S. Don't forget to put some salt on that! ;)
 


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America

More Hugs Khadija

Enjoy your bubble baths and ice cream Khadija. Remember to hug your friends and that we here are with you.

More Hugs!

Grover

Thank you for your hugs, prayers, dua, and all

I just wanted to thank you all. I feel much better after sleeping almost 11 hours, and no I did not get to dream what I wanted to. How presumptious of me. My mini melt down could have been partially due to the activities that my faith promotes during this month. I have backed off that and will not try it again without due consideration.

One of the huge shocks for me is that what happened to the little girl could happen at all.

Many blessings

Khadija

I hadn't noticed...

...that Ramadan had started. =///= Even more hugs, then. ^^

-Liz, who wishes you the best of Sawm and your prayers this month. m(_ _)m

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

Food for the soul...

I sometimes fantasize of feeding their 'equipment' to dogs while they watch and scream as I once did. I sit and eat a large bowl of chocolate ice cream...and laugh. Nice,huh?

May You Have Peace...

Kelly