Some Enchanted Girlfriend by Donna Lamb 1. Waking Up I woke up that morning with a hangover; the sun coming in the window seemed to hurt my eyes, even with them closed. I hunted for the pillow to pull over my face but at first I didn't find one. What I pulled across by eyes turned out to be a hairy arm that didn't belong to me.

That took a moment to sink in. Still with my eyes closed, I felt of the arm. It seemed enormous. Had I gotten drunk and ended up in the bed of some professional wrestler, I wondered. Or I would have wondered if I'd been able to rub two coherent thoughts together.

The arm moved down to my shoulders and with a spastic motion, dragged me against a hard, hairy, warm body. A voice grunted and another voice squeaked a protest.

I seemed to be the owner of that second voice. I squinted an eye open and looked across a messy bedroom at a blurry digital clock which seemed to read WV 90:9 o'clock. "That can't be right," I said out loud. My voice sounded thin and squeaky and my tongue felt thick and furry.

"Ow, my head," said the deep rumbly voice. "Stop shouting." The heavy arm lying across me twitched again, squeezing the breath out of me.

A nasty taste came up in my mouth, forcing me to struggle. "Let me go!" I tried to push against the arm but the effort made my head pound and my stomach heave up. "Let me go! You better! I'm going to puke!"

We rolled around on the bed, partly tangled up in bedclothes, trying to sort out which limbs were whose. Naturally, I fell off the bed. The jarring impact would have been worse but I seemed to have landed my ass on the missing pillow. Still, the shock sent lances of white hot light through my eyeballs and left me incoherent and whimpering.

"Are you okay?" the deep voice asked.

"No," I said. I tried to open my eyes but the sunlight still hurt. "It burns, it burns!" I said. "Nasty bright daystar! We hates it! We hates it forever!"

The voice chuckled then said, "Ow! Don't make me laugh."

I got one arm up to shade my eyes and squinted up at him. It was him, a him, that is--dark tousled hair, beard stubble, crinkles around the eyes and corners of the mouth, olive skin and tea-colored eyes. A truly enormous face, frightening for the sheer size of it if it hadn't been for the slightly goofy smile and the narrow gap between the two front teeth. Big teeth, though.

"The better to eat you with," I said.

"Are you okay?" he asked again in his rumbly voice.

"No," I said. "I'm halloonisating there's a hairy-ass giant in my bedroom."

He pulled himself up and looked around. "Um, this is my bedroom."

"Worse yet," I said. I moved my head the wrong way and another sunbolt screwed its way through my skull. "Ay, caramba!" I smacked myself in the face with my own arm trying to protect my eyes.

"You are funny," he said. "I remember that you're funny." He chuckled like someone dropping rocks into a rain barrel.

"That's funny," I said. "I don't." Frowning made my head hurt so I just rested my forearm across my face. "Remember that is...." Who the heck was this guy and how the heck did I get in his bed?

He seemed to have heard the question I didn’t ask. "Uh, we met at a club.... Damned if I remember which one." His deep voice seemed to be getting further away. "Gotta whiz," he added.

I felt sort puffy, as if I had been over-inflated by a careless balloon-animal artiste. My stomach protested that it contained nothing but acid and fumes. When the tinkling evidence that he had found the bathroom reached my ears, my bladder burned hot and urgent. "Ow, wow, ow!"

My eyes popped open, distracting me from other pains with needle-like rays again. I rolled under the bed to get away from the sunlight, amazed that it sat high enough for me to do that.

"You sound like a kitten with someone pulling your tail. Where did you go?" The last part said from considerably nearer.

I could see his big, hairy feet. Coarse black hair grew from his toe knuckles, or whatever you call them on toes, and a hairy leg-warmer started just above his ankle and continued up. "I'm under the bed," I said, scooting along on my back toward the bathroom. "Stay out of the way and you won't get hurt." It would have sounded more threatening if I could have managed to stop squeaking.

He laughed.

I rolled out from under the bed right in front of him, got my hands and knees under me and decided not to try to stand up just yet. I felt misconnected, as if someone had plugged my 5V DC brain into a 120V AC wall socket. Nothing felt right or looked right. My hands looked wrong, my fingernails shiny. "Some party," I said.

"Oopsy-daisy," he said. "Don't throw up on the carpet, love." He bent his hugeness down, picked me up and set me down on my feet which I barely got under me in time.

I grabbed his big hairy forearm in both hands and squeaked some more. "Don't let me go! I'm...I'm...." I looked up into a mirror over a dresser and saw the tiny little blonde being held up by the enormous swarthy giant.

Seeing that almost scared the piss out of me.

I tried to clamp my legs on it but it wasn't there and I knew what would happen next. "Get me to the john, quick!" I said.

We barely got there in time. When I peed it made a sound like pouring water out of a cup. I looked up at him. From that angle all I could see was... Well, his big, huge, enormous... sausage. His dick. Of course, we were both naked.

"I'm dreaming," I said.

He laughed. "You're not going to fall off the stool, are you?"

"Uh, no." I looked away. A full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door showed a small blonde girl sitting on a toilet while being held upright by a giant. I reached a hand up and felt of one of my tits. Then I sort of fainted. Okay, I fainted.

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