If I should die ...

I tried to go to bed but my heart is too full and I simply can't.

For the last week, I have had the extreme privelege of having as my room mate, an English woman of Indian Descent. She is a well educated woman who came out here from England to attend a convention I have been helping to set up.

It is odd, because for the last two weeks, no one has said anything about my being Trans to me, and I have not outed myself. Now, this very lovely woman is staying with me and while I think that she surely must know about me, we have not spoken of it and I do not intend that we shall. I have been treated like a completely normal woman, with the full dignities there in. Yet, when I look at the mirror, I think that surely, she must know. What an astonishing kindness she has extended to me.

We get along famously; cook meals together, talk about things together, and it is generally an extremely comfortable relationship.

She will leave me on Sunday night, to live for a short while at another place, and then it is off to San Francisco, and finally home to England in August.

I simply can not say how much this has meant to me, and I honestly do not know how I will return to the loneliness of an empty apartment when she is gone. It has been a once in a life time event for me, and I am already feeling heartbroken in anticipation of her departure.

So many of us live out our lives in a tiny apartment, on not enough money and almost no friends. I know how it is for so many of us.

If I should die soon, I am ever so thankful that I had this experience even for this short time. I shall never forget it as long as I live.

Many Blessings to you all

Gwendolyn

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