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Hello all! Over at my blog at TGLibrary.com I am trying to work out a different way for a male to "work through" being changed into a female. I could go through all the cliched "OMG I'm A GIRL!!!" things that have been done to death.
However, I want to come up with something original or at least a newer spin on an old cliche. But the thing I'm having a problem with is understanding why a guy wouldn't want to be a girl. Maybe it's just my mindset. So I'm trying to come up with reasons that someone would actually want to be a guy. Below is my latest post on the topic. If you wouldn't mind adding your thoughts here or on my blog I would appreciate it.
>>>>>>
A FtM’s input would help.
I suppose I may just be thinking more in line of “grass is greener” type thing.
Advantages to being a man:
1) … I got nothin’
2) Okay. Strength. The whole power/dominating thing.
3) Glass ceiling. But that is virtually gone anyway.
4) Having a penis? I can’t see the attraction, but I suppose it’s there.
5) Not having a monthly period. But they make pills that can pretty much take care of that.
6) Participating in sports… god I’m reaching here.
7) Maintenance - Hair, make up, shaving, etc. Again, virtually nonexistent in today’s society. All except for the shaving. I’ve seen guys that look more like girls than today’s girls. One word – Manscara.
Okay, what have I missed?
>>>>>>>
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/2009/05/22/my-head-feels...
Thanks again,
Lili
Comments
R E S P E C T
Try giving an opinion on any male-dominated subject like cars, sports or politics and see how much respect a woman gets. Try getting a word in on any subject when three or more men are talking. I've got big boobs so I can get their attention but they're not listening!
On a related subject, if you show any interest in a man's occupation, possessions or history, most will assume it is a sexual interest. What's up with that? And when most men show an interest in anything a woman does, is or has, it usually turns into a sexual advance. Latin men seem to be really bad about this but they are cheerful and upfront about it, at least. Anglo men try to be sly but they are not fooling anyone!
Get into a crowd in a big city and you are likely to get felt up, patted, pinched and prodded with various appendages, some concealed inside clothing, thank the Great Ghu!
Okay, these are minor things and men probably have equivalent complaints about women but you asked what would a transformed male object to; I think most men would be appalled at being treated as a social inferior or sex object.
One more thing. Height. Men are tall and look down at you. Okay, I'm tall for a girl at almost 5'9" but when I'm around really big guys I get this funny feeling about being little and weak and needing some protection. LOL.
So that might be the most disturbing thing for a transformed guy, feeling a sudden sexual attraction to men. I know it surprised me when I transitioned. I'd had some crushes on guys before but had basically been hetero while living as a male, and while I consider myself bi now, my romantic fantasies all involve men.
-- Donna Lamb, Flack
-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack
Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna
Holy crap!
A lot of stuff I really hadn't even thought of and some I'd just plain forgotten about.
This will definitely help in the body of the story, everyday things, so to speak. Living as a woman.
You hit a lot of nails right on the head, Donna!
What else! LOL.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Skin deep
The first time a guy undressed me with his eyes was a shock. I'd heard about it, I may have even done it but to be on the receiving end was exciting and a bit frightening. Especially knowing that he would have gotten a big surprise at the time if it really happened. LOL. But that's not appropriate to your story, probably.
Medical people and service people treat women completely differently than they do men, it's hard to explain. Doctors and nurses expect you to know more about what is going on with your body as a woman while men are expected to be ignorant and/or oblivious. Waitresses and waiters, too, are more helpful to women. Sales people and hairdressers will offer more suggestions more freely.
Women compliment each other on their appearance and accessories; men do this only as irony. Real compliments are reserved for power tools and vehicles. Men will compliment a woman but most don't really know how and it can come out as sarcasm when it probably wasn't meant to be.
Emotions are quicker and more painful for women. Men can feel just as deeply but most don't know how to express that, a cultural thing but women's emotions change quickly and have sharper distinctions that might catch a transformed man by surprise. But a man is freer to express anger, women aren't supposed to get mad.
Chocolate. Brains under the influence of estrogen react to tastes and smells differently than ones running on that nasty old High Test. Chocolate is a lot like an orgasm for some women and men just don't understand. On the other hand, alcohol is a bit strong for women, I can smell the stuff across the room now and I don't always like smelling it.
Body odors. Women notice them more than men do.
-- Donna Lamb, Flack
-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack
Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna
Shrug
Don't get any interest in men. Male body odor turns me off. They look okay but their smell is like Pepe LePew as far as I am concerned.
Anyway, with regard to male 'advantages' - men have a longer life span of being considered 'attractive'.
Older men of a certain age range - certainly their 50s-60s - are considered 'distinguished' whereas women of that age range are 'matronly'.
Kim
Oh, let me count the ways.
Some of what I have to say could brand me as an inappropriate candidate for SRS, but since I already had mine ...
*39 years of living with a woman for whom anything that broke was Male.
*Sick and tired of fighting to not be drawn into the blatant Male posturing I saw in the work place. I actually even laughed at them and they were too dense to "get it".
*Sick and tired of being ridiculed by relatives for not being Masculine enough. Geeze, they didn't know the half of it.
Didn't develop an attraction for males until I transitioned. It was a huge healing moment for me because before that, I feared and hated males because of all the beatings and harassment as a child. It seems like most shrinks think that a child identifies with significant males around 4 or so. I distinctly remember the day I decided that I was like my sister. I looked at all the males in my family and decided it would be a cold day in hell before I would ever be like them. I felt utter revulsion, like I wanted to be sick; absolute dislike; almost horror.
Years later as I started taking hormones,got those evil turmors removed, and did SRS, I suddenly realized that some males were very cute to me. Some were even very nice to me and made me giggle. Can't say why it happened.
On the other hand, I spent over 30 years as an Electrician, had my own business, and was an Inspector to boot. After I transitioned, there was absolutely no way I could convince most men that I knew anything about it and that I was competent. They'd just blow me off.
In all fairness, I almost never wear pants and take great pains to look nice. So, to men, perhaps I simply do not look competent as an Electrician. It really bothered me for a while, but now I have been able to just laugh about it. I spent my time doing that shit and now I have become a very efficent secretary. I know this just messes with sterotypes to a really objectionable degree, but I am very happy with the outcome.
I just love it when men give me their seat, open a door for me, or better yet take a big package from me because women aren't supposed to do that work. :) Yes, in other words I shamelessly use men to do my bidding. Besides, what woman in her right mind wants to put on chains, or fix a flat? If you still want to do that shit, then why did you transition?
I'm sorry, I know that I am being awful, but if you want to punish me, you are going to have to come to Southern Comfort to spank me. :)
So needing punishment.
Gwendolyn
Hardware stores, you missed hardware stores, that and urinals
That and Hooters.
Those are the best reasons for being male, all those Craftsman tools at Sears and Delta woodworking tools, Milwaukee Electric and all the others in hardware stores. Oooh I'm drooling. And a quick, convenient wizz in a urinal is so satisfying.
And I am told the young woman waitresses at Hooters are most attractive.
Beyond that, not a clue.
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. Sex with a woman is supposed to be most pleasurable but for scientific accuracy I would need the assistance of two twenty something’s, a male and female, both highly attractive and willing to aid the cause of science. Any takers, please? I’m desperate … Um, ignore that last bit.
John in Wauwatosa
Hardware and Urinals?
I love to go into a hardware store in my highest heels and tight skirt suit and ask for a 3/8 nut and ferule,a single cut file or a three way switch. They want to give me the third degree and ask how could I posibly know what those are used for?
As far as the Urinals are concerned, that awful Testosterone laced poison splashes and gets all over you. Eeeeewwwwww! Pretty soon you smell like a Goat! Ghah!!!! I quit standing to pee in my 20's, unless I was in the woods or pissing on my step fathers grave.
Yes, I know, such a smart assed little bitch! What cha gonna do about it, buster?
Gwendolyn
Percieved Advantages to Being a Man
Hi!
Some possibilities:
8) Implied Power that comes from being a man: Power to deal with men on an equal basis; Physical power; Power to influence what's around them.
9) Respect from others (including children).
10) Experience of learning why men think about sex every 15 secs (this was in a report, I forget which one.
11) Experience of learning that when men think about women, they use that part of the men's brain that is located in the same area as the use of tools (my wife told me of this from a report she read.
I hope this works.
Tim Washburn
FtM's
I have had several FtM folk tell me that they transitioned for the power that men have. I can't see it, but do agree that the men are freeer to do stuuupid stuff.
Missing something
I'll start with an excerpt from Role Reversal, a story that I started writing a while back, but have yet to post.
It is in the form of a journal that is being written by Joe/Tiffany. Joe woke up one day to find himself magically converted (yah... cliche'.) At this point, he can switch back and forth, but his 'Joe time' is limited.
A large part of the pain of GID is that one is expected to play a specific part in the culture, when she really wants to play another part.
If you really like hanging with the girls, trying on lots of clothes at the mall, going to the bathroom in groups, and all the little things that girls do differently from boys, then you might be happier as a girl. (Yes, I know that there's lots more to it, but the above examples are common in TG lit.)
On the other side of the coin, male bonding is fun. I like hanging with my brothers and doing guy things.
Sure, a girl can go fishing and shooting and goofing around in the workshop (guy cave,) but it wouldn't be quite the same thing.
It's OK to claim that you don't care what others think of you, but constantly being treated as something that you are not is depressing -- sometimes fatally so. Being one of the guys in a group of guys out on a hunting trip or a superbowl party or a pub crawl is different from being a girl who is trying to be one of the guys. There's no helping it -- at least for now.
Ray Drouillard
The guy thing
Growing up as a confused teen I participated in a number of guy rituals like you pointed out. The thing was that I hated almost every moment of it.
I wanted their acceptance of me as a guy, but hated trying to 'act cool' and manly. I don't mean I wanted to go play with my Barbies or something and I tolerated drinking beer and making an ass out of myself in front of girls, etc.
It just all felt wrong. It was all an act to try and push down the feelings that I was built and born wrong. That's why I'm having so much trouble thinking about this.
In your excerpt, I would have loved nothing more than to make my brothers and father sandwiches and doing stereotypical girl duties. Although, I can see where being coddled would be annoying if I didn't need the help...meh.
But it does give me something to think about. Thanks!
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Guy things
I've never been into sports, which is a large part of why I didn't get along too well in school. About the only 'guy thing' that I enjoy doing with a group is collectively building or repairing stuff (as mentioned in the story.) I can do the fishing thing on occasion, and may some day take up hunting (There are lots of deer living on our little ten acre parcel.)
I guess the point of the 'guy rituals' is the common effort toward a goal -- perhaps inherited from the hunter/gatherer types going after a mammoth or saber-toothed tiger. Working as a team and getting the job done just feels good. I guess that's why so many guys are into team sports. It satisfies the seemingly contradictory urges to cooperate and to compete.
Confidence and the Hunter
One thing that has not been mentioned is the confidence that comes from being bigger and stronger. After all who is going to give a guy much trouble walking alone? However a woman is perceived as being more vulnerable due to her smaller size. In our culture, Men are the hunters and women are regarded as the prey. Things have changed a lot but still think about how every man's eyes lock onto an attractive woman as she enters a room. Yes she does have a certain power to control, but think. There is a real reason why that same woman will take precautions against being trapped alone outside. Rape is a real fear. A guy doesn't worry about being in a parking lot at 1 in the morning, however a woman? Remember the old saw about fathers being protective of their daughters because they know what that boyfriend she has dragged home really wants? Perhaps a little like the barnyard fox suddenly transformed into one of the chickens?
Hopes this helps some!
grover
I'm thinking
That there need to be a ... thread I guess, about how to write a believable character in transition (magical/sci-fi, and real life). Some of the ideas here are very well thought out and a lot of the stories I read are... "Do you have a clue about what it's actually like?"
Most of them seem to be sexual fantasy drivel, which if that's what you are looking for then more power to ya, but it's not for me. I'm more character and plot motivated.
I know a lot of comments I see after stories are "That doesn't really happen that way" or "Unrealistic because..." or "Girl's just don't do that and here's why."
What I'm getting at is that there are a lot of great ideas, many of which I'm not using because of certain aspects of my character. Like this post of Grover's. Top notch stuff, but my character is an Amazon and has the ability to take care of her self. It doesn't mean that she still can't be assaulted, but she stands a better chance than most men in dangerous situations.
But I do get what you are saying.
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
The truth of the matter is
Normal guys don't want to become females. I hear guys talk about pregnancy and how they wouldn't be able to handle it.
That would most likely be a fear, getting pregnant and/or an unwanted prenancy. Most guys can be ready for work in less than fifteen minutes. they don't have to worry if their shoes match their suit it probably does. Brush their teeth, shave, shower and get dressed. Imagine waking up and discovering that you a normal woman loving, tool loving. beer drinking, belching farting man have become a genetic female.
First you would need under clothes, where do you go to get them. Real women grew up learning about underclothes and sizes.
How does one get her hair to look nice and neat, its not a quick fix if you don't know what you are doing.
Conversations with other women, how to communicate.
It would be a total new experience that would make one look like they have been in a coma for a long time.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Being able to reverse park
Being able to reverse park your car!!!
Hi Lili, Sorry i'm not much help but honestly my silly comment was all that came to mind, ... But i guess thats why i comment on stories and you write them!
Hugs Kirri
What's weird is it's kind of true
As a guy, I had no real problem parallel parking. But after transition, it took more effort and some practice to get it right. It seemed like the car felt less a part of me than it had before; I had to learn to think it into the right position where before, I just whipped the wheel back and forth. It really felt different. Anybody ever done any research on male/female proprioception?
-- Donna Lamb, Flack
-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack
Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna
I get lost now.
As a male it was like I had a directional gyro in my head. As a woman, I come out of a building downtown and don't know where I am at first. Of course, I just love asking for directions, especially if he his big and tall. He can use his "pointer" to show me. snark snark.
Gwendolyn
Idendity
As I see it, the reasons given for 'wanting' to be male are incidental, surely the main problem with an unwanted change of gender (whichever direction) is the loss of self image. Many members of this site have struggled / are struggling to make their bodies fit their sense of self, why not take that and reverse it?
How your male copes with the change will depend on how his culture and upbringing have defined male/female gender roles. Now have fun with the usual stereotypes... or show an inner strength that fights to succeed.
First of all...
Hi Lilith,
Your question is wrong. "Why WOULD a guy want to be a girl?" is the correct question. I'll try to answer it as a guy:
I'm happy as a guy. Why would I want to change into a girl? Being male is my core identity, it is how I think of myself. My body runs on testosterone and this shapes my outlook on life. If I woke up tomorrow as a female, that would shake my sense of self. Insanity is not out of the question, depression, suicide. Once estrogen really kicked in and affect brain patterns emotions would become much more powerful and depression would most likely intensify. If I was fertile and had my period, panic attacks would be likely as I'd be bleeding from a hole where my penis should be. I wouldn't be interested in learning about women's clothing let alone wearing them. Eventually I'd be forced to, but the clothes would have to be gender neutral. The image in the mirror wouldn't be my self-image, it would be a stranger, maybe a familiar stranger, but not ME. Not the real me inside. I wouldn't be happy with having breasts that move around when I do, it would be weird and unfamiliar, also unwanted. I would want my penis back, not a vagina. I like have an outty, not an inny. Peeing would be abnormal and weird, having to wipe afterwards. Vaginal moistness and discharge wouldn't be appealing or make me happy. Until I internalized proper care for myself I'd most likely be a candidate for yeast infections or urinary tract infections. Knowing the proper steps and believing in them as personal hygiene aren't the same.
Externally, all my friends, male and female, would be different. My guy friends wouldn't relate to me the same way and probably become distant, most of them anyways. Female friends maybe would become closer as I would need their help to teach me. Family relationships would be permanently altered as well.
Eventually, assuming I came to terms and was able to function, I'd immediately look into getting double mastectomy, radical hysterectomy, and going on testosterone to make my body more male-like again. This would redistribute the female fat deposits back into a male pattern, lower my voice and cause beard and hair growth. The one thing that would be bad is the surgical techniques aren't there yet for building a penis properly for FTM surgery yet.
Howzzat?
Hugs
Frank
Extreme
I'd say it would be a little extreme for my character. Happy endings and all. But I do see what you are saying.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
I was trying to give it a "normal" male perspective
Sort of the guy on the street POV. If it happened to me...I would first hope I was 20+ years younger and 130 pounds lighter I think :) If I had to choose, 130 pounds lighter...
Looking forward to whatever you come up with..
Hugs
Frank
Cool
I understand. It's cool. That's what I'm looking for. The male or FtM point of view. Even with the fantasy aspect of this story I want to make it as real as possible.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Devil's Advocate
If being a woman is so much better than being a man, what's this whole deal with the Equal Rights Amendment? ;-)
m
They know they can survive
I think the main point is
I think the main point is not "Oh my god, I'm no longer a man" so much as "Oh my god, I'm no longer ME!" It's a major switch in the way your relate to the world. People judge you in large part for your exterior form, and you are *used* to the way you were judged in that form, so you don't notice it so much. If you change forms, then you suddenly become aware of a lot of little ways people judge you for your *new* form, despite it *not being the real you.* For a parallel... think of switching ethnicities. Suddenly you are no longer welcome in some places you always went, but for some reason can now can go unnoticed in places where you would be stared at before. Even if you *desired* the change, it can be jarring.
Another issue... I'm in my forties but I still remember the schoolyard. For most of a boy's growing up, he's indoctrinated that being feminine is inappropriate, something to be avoided at all costs. Being called a "sissy" really hurts when you are ten. So then you spent your whole life trying not to appear feminine, and suddenly you *can't avoid* looking feminine. Voluntary M2F will have to overcome this in a different part of their lives, but from the way your post is written, it seems you are thinking of an involuntary change.
Think of it this way. Plot
Think of it this way.
Plot point: In order to save his own life he would have to give up being a man voluntarily. It has to be his choice. So it would be an voluntary/involuntary thing.
So he, as a she, would not be shocked so much about the transition itself as he would be unknowing about what it really means to be a woman.
It will be a very spur of the moment type thing, almost no time to think about it.
It you want the general plot it's on my blog, most recent post. I was going to post it here, but some people don't like to be spoiled.
So bottom line, no, he does not want to be a girl, but he want's to be dead even less.
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Regret?
What's to stop her regreting the decision and attempting suicide?
In Itenerant's "Amazon" serial (Sapphire's), there was a spiritual/religious dimension. What aspect is so important to your character that they would willingly give up everything else and still fight to survive?
the core
I think Frank and Sir lee have both touched on the essential element here. For a Real Man, his "maleness" is an integral part of his core identity. The same holds true for a Real Woman.
To suddenly place a Real Man in a female body is to deliver a most powerful psychic shock. I suspect that the more deeply rooted the maleness is, the less flexible the psyche, and the greater likelyhood of mental trauma.
I believe (and I may be biased here) that a really macho man, placed in a female body, would quite possibly "crack". But a totally girlie female, placed in a male body, would be somewhat more flexible. Anybody know a way to test this? :)
May I suggest researching the psychology of gender? I know - boooooring. :) But I'm betting somebody has already done the groundwork here. It may just be a matter of finding it.
Good Luck,
- vessica
It isn't about being macho or girlie-girls
A 5 year old boy who KNOWS he is really a girl inside has her core identity. A 5 year old boy who KNOWS he is a boy inside and out has his core identity. They may both grow up to be men on the outside, but one will feel like a man inside and the other will be a woman trapped in a man's body unless medicine has intervened.
Huggles
Frank
I'm really not sure...
how to answer this.
What's the difference between why a girl wants to be a girl? This is me personally speaking, mind you. I don't "want" to be a girl, I "am" one. I was just born in a body with the wrong plumbing. I assume that guys know they're guys. (Okay, I suspect there's a number of people that are somewhere in the middle - either "pretty sure" they're a boy/girl or "pretty sure" they're a girl/boy, but only "pretty sure". And, I suspect there are some, that just don't know and/or know they're both.)
Yes, there are aspects about being guys / girls that may be attractive to people. Heck, there are aspects to being a girl that I can assure you I would do without... But, maybe I'm just strange this way.
Back when I finally went to see a therapist, I thought I was crazy. I thought I was a guy (or at least that's what I mostly looked like, and folks told me I was). But, I wanted to have a baby and breasts, and wasn't sure the worm was worth much. So, like I said, I was crazy.
Over the course of a few months, my therapist and I talked about a lot of things. She was able to help me dredge up a number of suppressed memories (only one from before I was about 11) that hinted (to me, at the time) that maybe I really was crazy. I mean, how many guys wore pink gowns when they were kids, or how many snuck into their parent's room when the parents/sibling(s) were away, and wore their mom's nightgown (stuffed, of course) and a wig... She then told me that people's awareness of gender was not as rigid as I'd been lead to believe. (This was back in the days before the internet... About all I'd heard of was Christine Jorgenson - and most of the comments I heard about her were that she was crazy (yeah - folks I lived with weren't very open minded... *sighs*).)
Once she told me that it was POSSIBLE. I, almost over night it seemed, realized that explained what was going on with me. I quickly (like between two sessions), came to understand that it wasn't so much that I wanted breasts (though I do) or wanted to be able to wear dresses or even to have a baby. What it was (& still is) is that I AM a woman (stuck in a partially male body) and those things were things I'd associated with being a woman. And, it wasn't the THINGS that I wanted, so much, as the underlying essence.
So, based on my personal experience, it isn't really the things about being a guy or girl that are why a person is TS, it's that they ARE, and some/many/most of those things considered female/male are things that come with the territory.
I hope this "rambling" helps you understand where I come from anyway, and how I think about the issue.
Annette
My Thoughts
Most of the things that make it good to be female are the things that make it good to be male. Things like being happy with yourself, having friendships and joy, entertainment and support, finding a place and being able to do what you want to do. And though nuances of how these things come about or appear may be different, those nuances are less set in stone than the base need.
F2M perspective --- reasons for being a man?
Actually, the F2M view of being F2M is the same or very similar to the reasons to me M2F. It's a matter of self identity. I understand that most F2M want to have the surgeries simply to make themselves as congruent as they can. Most have tried life as a dominant lesbian, and found it wanting compared to the "real" thing. My friend Matt described it in terms of growing up. He not only wanted to do the things his older brothers did, he did most of them. None of them were surprised when he first told them he was lesbian, then told them about 10 years later he was trans, F2M. The were very supportive because he had already been at least an honorary brother. He could fix a car, or motorcycle engine, worked with them on projects, and it was only in things like going camping with non-relative guys that he was excluded by them. In his work life, it chapped him terribly that he was often talked over by some more dominant guys, and often had his ideas co-opted because, like it or not, he could look really like a cute girl with the right makeup and clothes. Yet he preferred his hair shorter than female normal, and his manner was always very masculine, though shortof stature. He considered himself a guy most of the time already with a guy's interests, so it wasn't about wanting to be a guy. When I asked Matt the standard question, if he would go back to be a girl if there was a pill to reverse the transition, his reaction was in the line of "What are you nuts? No way would I turn back the clock. It's just not me." So yeah, the self identity thing in the scenario you were talking about.
When I presented as a guy at work for over 30 years, because I was for all intents and purposes a guy most of the time I had input at meetings that was listened to. When I gave a lecture, I was accorded more attention just by being a guy, and therefore an authority figure. Two years before I declared my intent to transition, I noticed that I would say my piece in a meeting, and rather than discussion there would be a brief period of silence and they would start discussing a different input. Then, about 10 minutes or so later, one of the guys would say the same thing I did, and the discussion would be endless and it was often taken for action. The other two girls working in the lab started sort of smirking at me when that would happen, like, see, that's what we live with. When I declared my transition, the two women were not that surprised, as it just made sense. I had been on hormones for several years, and my appearance was changing, but I thought not that much. Yet something, I am not sure if it was pheremones, or subtle appearance clues, changes in mannerisms (I didn't think I was that different), or SOMETHING had my workmates reacting to me more as a woman (waiting to hold doors comes to mind) well before I told anyone what was going on. And the girls had become chatty and didn't change the subject when I walked up to a conversation they were having, just sort of expanded it or left it open to participation. That part felt really good.
Reverse that, make the transition sudden and non-voluntary and I can see how a guy who still had the self identity of a guy despite the magic or whatever that changed him physically, would have problems with the changes in expectations.
CaroL
CaroL
We Have Seen The Double Standard In Attitude
Having a different curfew as a teenage girl than your brother. Brother can have sex with his girlfriend and their father won't say anything other than "That's my boy" Daughter has sex with her boyfriend and her father greets the boyfriend at the door with a shotgun. Daughter gets a reputation as a slut whether she deserves it or not while nobody really comes down hard on the guy except for the aforementioned father of said girl. Girl can be tough, stand up to a guy and get called a b**ch or a dyke. A guy can do that and it is called "being a man". A guy gets away with wearing the same clothes two days in a row and a woman is held above that standard( which separates us from the lower one set by the male). This, of course is a good thing about being a woman. Not fearing for your safety when walking home at night is another. Having suggested all these things, I would still be a woman despite them all.
very interesting
There are two aspects to the change one is physical and one is mental. How successful a character's adaption to the transition of suddenly becoming the
opposite sex is rooted in one's core self-image. As transexuals, we all know the anguish of having physical bodies that do not match our self image. How that character deals with the transiton is dependent on his starting self-image. If the starting self image is macho and includes significant physical and societal male aspects, then the transition would be rough. I also expect that an overly macho character would not willing choose becoming female even if the alternative was death. A balanced self image puts the physical and societal expectations in their proper perspectives.
A character transitioning from this perspective voluntarily would eventually adapt, but may experience many "What did I get myself into moments?" The change is primarily physical and does not affect the character's basic self image, only how she is able to express that image.
We all know people who exude a presence when they enter a room. Some use their gender/sex to cast the aura. Others do it with a quite inner strenght and competence. It all eminates from the confidence you have in who you are regardless of physical sex or gender.
Hugs,
Trish-Ann
Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~
Everyone reacts differently ...
... to a crisis, problem, challenge or life change. Since you seem to believe (as i do) that character drives plot, think about who your protagonist is before he is forced to choose womanhood over death. Is he flexible? Analytical? Inquisitive? Dogmatic? Is he a ladies man or awkward around women? His reactions to the change will be directly related to the kind of man he is before he becomes a she.
I know men who would look at the choice you give your character, accept it (and in some cases embrace it as an opportunity), and do their best to adjust to their new situation and get on with it. I know others that I'm pretty sure would absolutely freak, because they're so dependent on the outside world to tell them who they are that they have trouble thinking outside the rules set by someone else. They are grounded in the day-to-day framework of their lives as men, and would be completely lost if they found themselves female.
Of course, if they came through the change relatively intact, they might embrace society's role for them as fervently as they embraced their role as men, and find a different happiness as a wife and a Mom -- just because it's easier to let other people do their thinking for them.
In the end, though, I agree with Frank. A guy would want to be a guy because that's what he IS, and that's what he's always been. How he faces becoming a she depends on how flexible he is, and how much he wants to live.
Randalynn
Views
I want to thank all of you for your input. It will go a long way to making this story, and future stories I write for that matter, much more realistic.
I think I have enough material to proceed, but if there is anything else you'd like to add then feel free to add on.There might be an aspiring writer out there that will pick up a hint or seven.
Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/
~Lili
Write the story that you most desperately want to read.
Book suggestion
Tim Allen (real name is Tim Allen Dick) wrote Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man, which goes through what it is like to grow up as a normal, healthy male (and to grow up before the attempted emasculation of our boys.) One concept the talks about is 'the maniac inside,' which is eventually tamed, but always there.
Ray Drouillard