Synopsis:

Re-Edited October 2, 2006

Matilda’s second day out, not as terrifying as her first but definitely filled with challenges.
What will the other girls think of this “Want to Be Girl,” if they find out whom she really is.

Story:

I would like to thank my dear friends,
Angel O’Hare, Karen Page, Joni W. and Holly Logan
for their kindness, help, support and input.

Raised In SLC
Chapter 4

By Penny Reed Cardon

It was my second day as Matilda; I was so excited from yesterday's adventure that I had a hard time getting to sleep the night before. This morning however, I woke up cheerful, excited and surprisingly well rested. As soon as Dad, Chuck and Karen left for their various destinations, I rushed back to my room took off my boy’s clothes and put on my plaid skirt and white blouse. Then I went into Mom’s room for my wig and makeup.

“Umm . . . Matilda, dear?” Mom said.

“Yes Mom?”

“I think its time for lesson number two. If you are wearing a white blouse, white skirt or pants, don’t wear colored underwear.” I looked at her with a puzzled expression. “You’re obviously wearing purple underwear this morning, aren’t you dear?” Mom asked. Rachael just giggled.

“Yes, Mom,” I said as I blushed. I quickly returned to my room to change.

“That’s much better dear,” Mom said as I returned a few minutes later.

After Mom did my make up and we got my wig in place and brushed out, we were ready to go, or were we?

“Oh Mom, we didn’t get me any shoes yesterday,” I said as we were getting ready to leave.

“Oh my goodness you’re right. Well, there’s no time this morning. Just put on a pair of white knee-socks and the Mary Jane’s from yesterday. We'll stop and get you some shoes this afternoon.”

Soon we were on our way. I don’t remember most of what we passed just different parts of the city. I remember going past Hogle Zoo and then on up that canyon. Eventually Mom pulled off the main road. We drove a little bit farther before we pulled up in front of a large steel gate. They were like the big gates in front of the 'Insane Asylums' in the old horror movies. Mom pressed a button on a call box that was mounted just outside her window.

“YES!”

“Edith Covington, to see Ellen Hansen,” Mom replied.

“IS MATILDA WITH YOU?”

“Yes she is.”

“ANYONE ELSE?”

“Yes, my younger daughter, Rachael.”

There was a long pause before anything else was said.

“DOES RACHAEL HAVE FULL KNOWLEDGE?”

“I assume you mean about Matilda. Yes,” Mom answered.

There was another long pause with nothing happening. Rachael and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. Suddenly the gates began to slide open. Mom pulled through the gates, which silently closed behind us.

“I guess we don’t get to leave until they want us to,” I said, feeling trapped. Mom could sense that I was a little nervous.

“Don’t worry dear, Jill told me something about this place. It’s a special school, very exclusive. Ellen Hansen is the lead psychiatrist. According to Jill she can be very helpful,” Mom said with a smile to help settle my nerves.

We drove for about another mile or so, and then went over a hill. As we started down the other side and into a small valley we saw seven or eight three story buildings around a large grass field. Off to one side there were several other buildings and what looked like a stable. There was a pasture fenced off with quite a few horses grazing. The road led us to a parking lot outside the largest building. We parked there and got out. As we were approaching the building the door opened and an attractive woman in her mid 40’s came out.

“Edith Covington? I’m Ellen Hansen,” said the woman approaching us.

“I’m pleased to meet you Ellen,” Mom said as they shook hands.

Mrs. Hansen turned to Rachael. “Welcome, Rachael. It’s a pleasure to have you visiting us today,” she said, shaking Rachael’s hand.

“And you, of course, must be Matilda,” Mrs. Hansen said, as she extended her hand for me to shake.

“Yes ma’am,” I replied shaking her hand like I’d seen Mom do.

“Please call me Ellen, all of you. I may have a fancy title and a large office but I’m really very informal,” Ellen asked. “Jill called me this morning and briefed me about you two. She even told me about the little trick you two played on her yesterday. Now I’ve seen you two together, I can see how Jill got confused. You two could easily be mistaken for twins,” Ellen chuckled.

"It was really Mom's, and Mrs. Reynolds's idea. Rachael and I just went along with it."

“I just wish I could have been there, I'm sure the look on Jill's face must have been priceless. Well now, shall we go into my office? We’ll be much more comfortable while we visit."

A few minutes later we were seated comfortably in Ellen’s office, which was very large. There was an executive looking desk and a high back leather chair, in front of the windows, on one side of the office. On the other side of her office were three couches and an over stuffed chair arranged around a circular coffee table. Ellen sat in the chair; Rachael and I sat on the couch to her right and Mom sat across from us.

“Well Matilda, according to Jill you think you should be a girl. Is this correct?” Ellen asked.

“Umm, well yes . . . that’s pretty much correct, I guess,” I answered nervously.

“It’s all right Matilda, please try to relax, I’m on your side. I just want to be sure I’ve got my facts straight,” Ellen said with a reassuring smile. “I think you’re a very attractive young lady. From what I’ve seen so far you appear to have been studying how girls act for some time. Is that correct?”

“Well, umm . . . No, not really studying. I mean, I've never really studied girls. It’s just that, well . . . All my friends are girls. Since Kindergarten I’ve just always been around girls, we all act pretty much the same. I mean, I act the same as Mary Beth, Kimmie and the others girls,” I said trying to understand what Ellen meant.

“Really, that's very interesting. Well now Matilda, tell me, how do you feel about boys?” Ellen asked

“Well, the boys at school are always showing off. Each one is trying to be better than the other is. Except for Black Bart and the other bullies, they don’t try to be better than the others are; they try to be worse. Trying to see who can pull the meanest prank or the meanest trick.”

“Well that's usually true of boys; the good ones try to outdo each other in a good way. While the bad ones try to outdo each other in a bad way. But that isn’t what I meant. What I want to know is how YOU feel about boys in general?” Ellen said clarifying her question.

“Well in general, boys are kind of icky. I mean, I don’t like them very much. I don't really want to be around then. I definitely don’t want to be like them. Umm . . . of course there is this one boy, umm Paul; he’s a year or two older than I am. He’s really kind of cute; he talks real nice and he’s fun to be with. He tries to get the other boys to leave me alone and stop picking on me. Um, I ah, I kind of like him,” I said, while staring out into space with a kind of dreamy smile.

Mom was looking at me real funny.

“What?” I asked her

“Oh nothing, really, I was just thinking that the bug has bitten my daughter. What do you think Ellen?" Mom asked.

“Oh definitely Edith, she’s been bitten,” Ellen agreed.

“The bug?” I asked. “What bug?”

Mom and Ellen looked at each other and smiled, and then they both looked at me. “The Love Bug!” they said together.

“Yuck, no way, we’re JUST friends,” I said.

Both women were giggling, as was Rachael.

“At ten years old, I am sure it’s just puppy love, but you’ve definitely been bitten,” Mom said as she chuckled. I just shook my head.

“Let’s move on, shall we?" Ellen asked, changing the subject. "Matilda, Jill tells me that you have been seeing her once a week for most of the summer. She didn’t tell me how long you’ve been dressing as a girl. Could you tell me how you got started and about when that happened?”

“Well, I guess I started dressing in Rachael’s clothes the summer between Kindergarten and first grade. You see, in Kindergarten I sat at a table with five other girls. We all talked together, we all played together, we had our snacks together, we did our work together, we just enjoyed being with each other. I was just, one of the girls. We had a very special friendship. They helped me get over the loss I felt, not being able to be with my Mother in the afternoon. I really missed the special afternoons that Mom and I spent together. They were so special to me, and when I couldn’t have my special time with Mom any more I was just so sad.”

“You’ve been wearing my clothes that long?” Rachael asked quietly.

“Rachael, hush Dear don’t disturbed Matilda right now. Look at her, she’s appears to be in some kind of trance,” Mom said.

I was talking slowly but freely. My mind had opened itself and I wandered into the past. Later, Mom told me that my eyes had glazed over and seldom blinked while I was talking. They wondered where I had gone, what world I was in. But they just sat and listened, as none of them had heard this before.

“During our special afternoons; Rachael would be taking her nap, Mom and I would spend the afternoon together. She would read stories to me, or we would play memory or reading games together. Mom taught me to read before I started school. Sometimes I would help her with her sewing. A couple of times Mom helped me make some bags for my toys, she did the cutting, and I did the sewing. I was so happy then, everything and everyone was happy. In my limited view of the world everything was just as it should be. I just assumed that my world would always be that pleasant, so full of joy, love and kindness.

“Then I started school and my world was turned upside down. I couldn’t be with Mom in the afternoon any more. Because of that I was always sad when I got to school. But each day my new friends were there, they helped me get over the sorrow I felt at being separated from Mom. They treated me like I was somebody special. Especially Mary Beth, she was so kind and loving; she loved me almost as much as my Mother did. Each day when Mom would take me to school Mary Beth would be waiting for me. She would take my hand and we would walk across the playground to class together. She tried to protect me from the mean kids at school. She hugged me when I was sad, which always made me feel better. Mary Beth always wore nice dresses to school, just like Mom did during our special afternoons. It took a long, long time, but with the help of my new friends I wasn’t sad when Mom would drop me off for school. Now I looked forward to being with Mary Beth and my other friends each afternoon.”

“Besides Mary Beth there was Kimmie, and Sara, and Julie, and Molly. The six of us were the best of friends; we were together almost all the time. We were like the ‘Three Musketeers’ only doubled; I guess that made us the ‘Six Musketeers.’ We helped each other and we always looked out for each other. It was almost like the other kids weren’t there. It took a long time but my world had finally righted itself and I once again found the happiness that I'd known before. Then suddenly; almost before I knew it school was out for the summer. I was so excited; I was going to have my special afternoons with Mom again. But it just wasn’t meant to be! You see everything was different. Rachael didn’t take naps any more; Karen was there and sometimes Chuck was there. I just felt out of place all the time, I just wasn’t special any more.”

“It was about that time when I started to notice Rachael’s underwear in the hamper in the bathroom. They were nicer than mine were, they had lace, and bright colors, and little ribbons, and they just seemed so special, and I so needed to feel special again. So one day after I got out of the tub I tried on some of Rachael’s underwear. They felt so nice, just wearing them made me feel special. I felt, like I was running through a mountain meadow in the springtime that was full of wild flowers. As I was enjoying that special feeling, everything started spinning and I fell down. Then I remember, being cold as if I'd been on the floor for a long time. As I got up, I remembered that I was wearing Rachael’s underwear and I felt calm, peaceful yet happy. I felt complete somehow, like I was supposed to wear such nice clothes. It seemed so natural to be wearing frilly lace, almost like I was meant to wear them from the beginning. I put my underwear in the hamper and pulled on my pajamas over Rachael’s underwear. That night I slept so peacefully, more peacefully than I had slept in a long, long time. It was like; I was floating on a sea of pink clouds, drifting slowly across the sky. That night was the first of many luxurious nights to come.”

“One day I found myself looking in Rachael’s underwear drawer. I was mesmerized by what I saw, glorious colors, layers of lace, matching sets, stockings with lace and short frilly baby doll nighties with ruffles, lace and even matching panties. Everything was just sooo . . . beautiful. After I found that treasure chest of girls delight's I would sneak in whenever I could and get something different to wear, so fresh, clean, and they smelled so wonderful and they were so nice that I always had that feeling of being special. Then one day I was the only one home, and I would be alone for about four hours. I don’t know why or how it happened, but I found myself in Rachael’s room wearing some of her magnificent underwear and looking through her closet for a dress to wear. I found a beautiful lavender dress with ruffles around the hem, and I put it on. I danced around the room for a long, long time before settling on Rachael’s bed. Then I started reading stories to her stuffed animals. Oh, it felt like a dream come true, my heart was singing and my soul was in heaven. Once again I was floating along with that sea of pink clouds, only this time, I was awake. At that moment in time I was happier than I’ve ever been. ‘This is how I’m supposed to feel’ I thought to myself. I knew that this is the way my life is supposed to be, and the only way my life will be complete. From then on I would sneak some of Rachael's amazing underwear to sleep in at night, and would wear her dresses whenever I was going to be alone for a while.”

“The next three and a half years were a mixture wonderful bliss and aggravating torture. There were weeks when I couldn't sneak into Rachael's room at all. It was torture to me knowing what delights were available but, that I was being denied, I felt betrayed somehow. Then there were times when I was alone and could dress and be what my heart and soul longed for and desired. Then one day Rachael was mad at Karen for moving her things around, but I knew it was me the night before. I had borrowed a wonderful pair of pink panties with lace and a matching vest that had a lovely red bow. Rachael was angry, and then Mom got involved. I just didn't have a chance to return them while Rachael was taking her shower. You see I woke up late that morning; it had been another glorious night. With all the excitement, and waking up late, I didn’t even have a chance to change into my boy's underwear before going to school. I had to wear Rachael's underwear to school and I was so scared, and soo excited too. I was afraid that someone would find out that I was wearing girls’ underwear. But I was also excited that I was finally able to be myself through the entire day, not just at night.”

“I didn’t take any of Rachael’s things for about a month because she had been so mad. I was so sad and miserable that month, but didn’t want to risk being discovered. I was afraid that if other people knew that I wanted to be a, girl, they would think I was strange, or weird, or some kind of sick freak or something. Then that fateful day arrived; I was going to be alone for about four hours on a Saturday. It was no big deal, I’d been alone before. I was happily watching Saturday morning cartoons. When I blinked; I was suddenly in Rachael’s room. I don’t even remember going into her room or taking off my clothes. But there I was, I was wearing the frilliest underwear set I had ever seen. The feeling was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was like every nerve ending of my entire body was being tickled at the same time. I had found this gorgeous pair of pink panties and a matching vest, with more lace than I've ever seen. I was looking for a dress to wear when I found Rachael’s new pink party dress. It was so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself. I slowly, carefully, put it on. I was enjoying every wonderful second. I was so happy that I could once again wear the clothes that my heart told me I should be wearing. I felt like a fairytale princess in that wonderful dress. Every thing was perfect, I was happy, I was dancing and my soul, my soul was flying. I was merrily talking with my friends, the stuffed bears. I was going to read them stories about a magic land where everyone always lived happily ever after. Everything was just so fantastic; I was able to be myself, dressed the way I wanted, the way I needed, the way that just felt so right for me. I was happily dancing and spinning around and around — until suddenly I saw my Mother standing in the bedroom door looking at me. I was frozen in place, gripped by fear . . . I'd been discovered, I was . . . terrified.”

As I remembered the fear of that day, it brought me out of the trance or dream I was in. I blinked three or four times to refocus. When I could see clearly I looked across at Mom. I saw the look of wonder and amazement on her face; I hung my head and timidly spoke.

“Umm . . . what did I just say?”

“Well dear . . . that would take about an hour to explain, you have been talking for about that long,” Mom said softly.

There was a long uncomfortable silence.

“Well,” Ellen finally said. “Matilda is definitely all girl inside. I've heard many transgendered people tell their story. Never before, have I heard such, passion, such vivid descriptions of feelings. Words don't describe how I feel at this moment,” (there was another long pause). “Matilda, if you were to leave right now, and we were to never see each other again, I would consider myself blessed for having met with you today. You are truly an incredible young lady.”

Every body just sat and looked at me for what seemed like an hour, actually it was only a few minutes. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t even know what I said that made everyone think I was so special. Rachael, being that she was next to me, just hugged me the whole time.

Finally Ellen spoke. “Well Matilda, let’s see what we can do about making you a girl on the outside. How long have you been dressing as a girl full time?” she asked.

“Well actually, Matilda doesn’t dress full time," Mom answered. "In fact, yesterday and today are the only times that she has been outside dressed as Matilda. You see, she has an older brother and sister that don’t know. Also her father doesn’t know, I think he is going to have a very hard time understanding. David was a Sergeant in the Marine Corp. I'm not sure how he's going to react to the idea that his son needs to be a girl.”

“Matilda has really only been out for two partial days?” Ellen asked. “Now I'm really impressed. Her mannerisms, her walk, her voice are almost perfect for a girl her age. I would have thought that she had been dressing full time for three to six months.”

“Yes indeed. Today is only Matilda’s second day out. We refer to yesterday as ‘Matilda’s Birthday’,” Mom said with a smile.

Rachael and I both giggled as we remembered the events of the day before.

“Well again I’m speechless,” Ellen said. After a short pause she continued. “Well then, why have you come to ‘Immigration Manor’ today?”

“To where?” I asked.

“To ‘Immigration Manor’ dear, that’s the name of this school. You may want to consider attending school here someday Matilda. There are several advantages you will have here over going to public schools,” said Ellen. “But back to my question. What brings you here?”

“Well actually, Jill told us you might be able to help Matilda in learning to pass as a girl,” Mom explained to Ellen. “You see, both girls have been invited to Mary Beth’s birthday party. Mary Beth is the only one who knows about Matilda, outside of you, Jill Morgan and Amanda Reynolds. The party is a week from this Saturday, which gives us about ten days to transform Matilda into a living, breathing, thinking girl.”

“Ten days, that's not a lot of time,” said Ellen. “Speaking of time, it’s about time for lunch. Why don’t you three join us for lunch? I need to talk with my staff, and then we’ll get back together and talk some more after lunch.” Then she rose and started for the door. It didn’t seem like she was asking a question as much as giving an order. We all got up and followed her.

Ellen led us out the door, down a long corridor, through another door, we then found ourselves outside. We then went into the next building and into a large cafeteria where there were about 100 students; some of them were boys but mostly girls. Some sitting and eating, some in line to get their lunch and others were just talking. Ellen waved at two girls, who appeared to be about fifteen years old, inviting them to come over to where we were.

“Beca, Liz. There are two empty seats at your table, aren’t there?” Ellen asked.

“Yes Ellen,” said Beca.

“Excellent, just what I thought. This is Rachael and Matilda,” said Ellen as she introduced us. “Would you two do me a favor and help these two young ladies get some lunch, and seat them at your table please? After lunch would you show them around a little? Show them the pool and some of the other recreational facilities. Take about an hour then bring them back to my office.”

“Sure thing Ellen, it would be our pleasure,” said Liz.

“Rachael and Matilda, you two relax and just be yourselves. Enjoy your lunch and the tour. Beca and Liz are two of our top students, as well as excellent tour guides. I need to talk with some members of my staff and with your Mother for a little while, and then we'll all get back together,” said Ellen. Then she took Beca and Lizy aside and spoke with them privately for just a moment. Liz took Rachael’s arm and Beca took my arm as they lead us over to where they were serving lunch.

It’s a good thing that Beca was leading me, because I was lost in thought again. “What did Ellen mean when she said 'just be yourself? I know that Rachael will be herself, because she isn’t anyone else. But I am. Am I supposed to be myself as Matt or am I supposed to be myself as Matilda? This is starting to get really confusing. And if I'm myself as Matilda, will the other girls find out. What would they do if they found out that I’m a boy under these clothes? Why did Ellen separate Mom from us? I need Mom as a buffer between me and every one . . .”

“Hey Matilda, wake up girl,” Beca giggled, “Where have you been? What do you want for lunch?” she asked as she put a tray into my hands.

“I’m sorry, Beca. I was lost in thought for a minute. What were you saying?” I asked.

“I asked you what you wanted for lunch, silly girl. Your choices are spaghetti, beef stroganoff, or you can have a cold submarine sandwich,” Beca explained. “You just select the main course and the kitchen staff will add the appropriate side dishes to make it a balanced meal.”

“Oh, I think I would like to try the beef stroganoff,” I said. Looking around I didn’t see Rachael. “Oh Beca, where's Rachael?”

“Well, while you were off in la, la land they got their lunch and Lizy took her back to our table. Let’s get your lunch and get going you silly girl. What would you like to drink with your lunch; milk, chocolate milk, apple juice, orange juice, or water?” Beca was asking me, as she gave my request for beef stroganoff to a member of the kitchen staff.

“Oh, I think the apple juice,” I said.

We picked up my lunch consisting of a generous portion of beef stroganoff over egg noodles. There were also some French cut green beans with onions, and a small bowl with green salad. Then we got some apple juice, a fresh dinner roll and a piece of apple pie with whipped cream. Then we went over to the table where Rachael, Liz and four other girls were sitting.

“Hi everybody, this is Matilda, she's Rachael’s sister. I guess Lizy already went through the introductions when they got here,” Beca asked as she greeted her friends.

“Yes, she did,” everyone chorused together.

“Matilda you'll sit here next to me,” said Beca. After both girls were seated Beca continued with the introductions for my benefit. “Matilda, on your left is Frank, that short for Francine. To her left is Kathleen, of course we call her Kate. Next to her is Angelina, we call her Angel for short. I think you might just know Rachael, (Beca giggled) and you’ve met Elizabeth, Ellen calls her Liz but everyone else calls her Lizy. I’m Rebecca but almost everyone calls me Beca, and then here on my right is Kimberley.”

“Oh I know a girl named Kimberley. She’s a very good friend of mine. We call her Kimmie,” I said.

“Don’t get any ideas, girls. I like my name just the way it is, and I don’t need a nickname,” said Kimberley sharply.

“I'm sorry, I didn’t mean anything,” I apologized.

“Oh that’s okay. These girls have been trying to give me a nickname for years. You just stumbled into their favorite way of teasing me,” said Kimberley with a smile, so I knew she wasn’t mad at me.

"So how old are you two?" asked Angel.

"I'll be ten in November," I said.

"And I'm eight and a half," replied Rachael.

"But you two look like twins?" Kimberley said.

"And nobody lets me forget that!" I said.

"Now I think I owe you an apology," said Kimberley.

"No you don't, Kimberley, I may not be happy about looking like Rachael's twin, but there are some advantages, and I'm starting to get used to it. Besides we do think a lot alike," I confessed, smiling at Rachael.

"I don't see anyone else that's our age," I said looking around. "What grades attend school here?"

"Well it's not so much by grades, it's more by age and by what each student needs to learn so they are prepared for life out in the real world," Lizy said. "As a general rule we have students from ten years old to eighteen."

"Yes, but back to your question Matilda, the younger students finished their lunch about forty-five minutes ago," answered Beca.

“So what are you two doing here at the ‘Manor’?” Frank asked.

“Oh we’re just visiting with Ellen,” I said.

“So which one of you is it?” asked Angel.

“Hold it girls!” Beca interrupted before any one could say anything else. “These two are just visiting. Ellen asked that we just observe and try to figure it out on our own. So don’t either one of you two tell us!” Beca was looking back and fourth between Rachael and me, as she finished.

“Figure what out?” Rachael asked.

“Why, figure out which one of you is transgendered, of course,” said Kate.

“What?” I said.

“You’re kidding, right?” asked Rachael, while looking at me.

“Who said anything about being transgendered?” I said, looking back at Rachael.

We both figured that we had been set up this time. We knew each other so well that we could almost read each others thoughts. It was then that Rachael and I decided to switch places, so to speak. We winked at each other confirming our thoughts.

“Well that has to be the reason you’re here. You mean you don’t know about this school?” ask Kimberley.

“No,” Rachael answered.

“Well this is a very special school where someone who is transgendered can come and get a real good education without the fear of getting beat-up every day, or worrying about ‘Being an Embarrassment to the Family’,” explained Angel.

“Are there that many around here?” I asked.

“Oh, not everyone's from around here, really only a few,” Beca said. “Most of us are from out of state. This school accepts students from all over the United States. Till a few years ago the school was in Ohio, but it was old and a bit crowded. The facilities here are much better.”

”Facilities?” asked Rachael

”You'll see when we do the tour," laughed Lizy, not wanting to give anything away. "But enough about us. We want to hear more about you two. First, how's your lunch and second, where do you come from?"”
“Well this lunch is great,” said Rachael, obviously enjoying her spaghetti, while making more of a mess than normal.

“Yes, really very good,” I said. “Our Mother doesn’t work, so she makes our lunches. If were lucky there are some leftovers from dinner the night before. That’s if Dad or Chuck hasn’t eaten them first. Usually we get sandwiches, chips, and some fruit.”

“We go to 'Whittier Elementary School' that's by Liberty Park,” Rachael said answering the second question. “We live close enough that we walk to school, and we can also walk to the park.”

“Liberty Park? I’ve never heard of that one. Is it nice?” asked Lizy.

“Oh yes; it’s a real neat park. There’s a small zoo, and a really neat playground,” Rachael started.

“Yes and it’s a big park, one city block wide and two blocks long. There’s also a small lake with an island in the middle where the city shoots off fireworks on the Fourth and Twenty-Fourth of July,” I added.

“I know why you celebrate the Fourth of July with fireworks that’s Independence Day. But what is the Twenty-Fourth of July?” questioned Kate.

“I take it you’re not from Utah?” Rachael asked in return.

“No! I’m from Montana,” Kate replied.

“Well in Utah we celebrate the Twenty-Fourth of July, because it was on that day in 1847 that the Mormon Pioneers first entered into the Great Salt Lake Valley. It’s usually a bigger celebration than the Fourth of July,” I told everyone.

“Wait a minute, there’s something wrong here,” I said.

“What do you mean?” asked Angel.

“Well, we are able to talk to each other, and we can actually hear what every one is saying. I mean the boys here aren’t noisy and rowdy like the boys at my school,” I said amazed at the behavior of the boys at a nearby table.

“Well some of the boys here used to be girls,” answered Frank.

“What?” Rachel asked surprised.

“Yes, just like some boys feel that they should be a girl, some girls feel that they should be boys,” explained Kate.

“There’s something that you need to learn about the students here,” Beca explained. “Everyone here is very open with each other and very accepting of each other’s differences. We’re more like a family than students at a school, we help each other and we look out for each other. Oh sometimes we get upset with each other, just like any family, but generally things go quite smoothly.”

We continued to talk as we ate, taking a little longer than planned.

"Well if everyone has finished their lunch, we have some sightseeing to do,” Beca said, addressing Rachael, Lizy, and I. “We’ll catch up with the rest of you girls later.”

After we returned our dishes and trays to the kitchen, we were off.

"Our first stop will be the pool," Beca said. "It's just down the east stairwell."

"The pool is indoors?" I asked.

"Yes, there’s a bowling alley and swimming pools just under the cafeteria," Lizy said.

"Wow, that's really cool," Rachael said trying to act more like the boys from school.

"Yes, we’re taught basic swimming and lifesaving skills. For those who really like the water they can also sign up for water ballet and water polo," Beca was explaining as we went. "Let's go in through the office area, it'll be faster and we can avoid the locker room."

"Hello, girls," said the young woman from behind the counter as she greeted us.

"Hello Ms. Anderson," Beca replied. "Ellen asked Lizy and I to give our two guests a brief tour. This is Rachael and Matilda."

"I'm pleased to meet you girls," said Ms. Anderson. "If you have any questions about our facilities please feel free to ask."

"Thank you." Rachael and I said together. ‘If we keep this up everyone is going to think we really are twins.’

Lizy and Beca led us through the office and into the pool area, where there were two pools.

"These are our two main pools," Beca was explaining. "They’re both Olympic size pools, this one is where they teach basic swimming, water ballet, and water polo. The square pool at the far end is a fifteen-foot deep diving pool. That's where they teach lifesaving, and platform diving. We had two of our school’s alumni in the platform diving competition in the last summer Olympics."

"We also have two hot tubs and a sauna next to the locker room. They’re great if you've had a rough day and just need to relax," Lizy added.

"T — There’s just one locker room?" Rachael asked, trying to sound nervous, as she knew I would be.

"Yes, just one locker room. In the middle are two rows of small lockers to put your clothes in while you’re swimming. Around the outside are twenty private rooms for changing, each one has its own shower," Beca answered.

"Well what would you like to see next?" Lizy asked, as they lead us back through the office area and to the stairs that we had come down.

"What else is there?" Rachael wanted to know.

"Well there's the bowing alley next door. Then there's the theater. We’ve a drama department that puts on a different Shakespearean play each year, along with several other plays throughout the year. We also get to see some of the latest movies, as well as some real fun old classic movies," stated Lizy. “There was this one they showed last month, one of the funniest old movies I have ever seen. It was about this pink submarine. What was the name of it, Beca?”

“I think it was called, 'Operation Petticoat' although I don’t remember who was in it. But it really was funny,” Beca answered. "The Theater is also where the school choir performs."

"The school has a choir?" I asked.
"Oh yes, we've a world renowned choir and a small orchestra to accompany them. We've performed before presidents and royalty around the world. Our last trip took us to Japan. We also got to do a little sight seeing in Hawaii, the Polynesian Cultural Center on Oahu was fabulous," Lizy said with pride.
"Beca, I take it that Lizy is in the choir?" I asked.

Everyone is in the choir, the whole school sings. Lizy is part of the orchestra, she plays the French horn, she's really very good," Beca said. "Sometimes just to tease her we call her Tin-Lizy, but only in fun." she added with a smile.

"There's also a gymnasium of course. Whatever you can do in a gym we do; basketball, volleyball, gymnastics, aerobics, ballet, the works. We also have an indoor cycling track, where some of the students also like to workout on roller blades. There's also the indoor archery range and then there's the stable and equestrian arenas," Beca said, finishing the description of the schools facilities.

"Wow, this sounds like a great place to go to school," I said.
"Well, like any school, it has its good points and it's bad. We go to school year round. Only the few students that are from around here get to leave the school grounds, and that's very seldom,“ Lizy said. "With the exception of the field trips of course, then the whole school goes. Of course, winter up here is interesting though. We usually get between six to eight feet of snow. "
"Field trips?" asked Rachael.
"Eight feet of snow?" I asked.
"That's what they call them. That's when the school's choir performs abroad. There are usually two to three trips each year," Lizy said.
"And for this school to pack up and go on tour is no small excursion. With the choir and orchestra there are about one hundred and fifty students, plus staff and helpers makes for a group of about one hundred seventy five," Beca added.
"As for the snow," said Lizy jumping back into the conversation. "The maintenance staff keeps the walkways clear. But that doesn't stop us from having lots of fun. Some of us like to dig tunnels in the field between the buildings although not always in a straight line, they usually resemble a maze," she added with a giggle.
"Of course another one of the drawbacks are these school uniforms. I mean, really, why does a school like this need uniforms. After all who would really want to wear red plaid skirts anyway?" Beca said. Then Lizy tapped Beca on her shoulder, nodding at me.

"Oops, sorry, I guess some girls do like red plaid," Beca apologized.

"That's okay," I said, "I like lots of things that most other girls don't. Speaking of which, how's your library?"

"Well the library is actually kind of small, but if there's a specific book you want, they’re pretty good about getting it and adding it to the library. But the computer system is really top notch. We have access to current and historical information from around the world, in any language of your choice. Data, voice, and video feeds’ as well. Also, there's a network just for gaming on the system. With that you can link the game you are playing to the same game being played by another student. We've had as many and thirty people playing one game at the same time. The competition can get really intense,” Beca was beaming as she was explaining the computer network capabilities.

"Don't mind her, she's what they referred to in the movie Jurassic Park as a computer nerd," Lizy giggled.

"I am not a computer nerd!" Beca counted.

"All right, geekette then," Lizy teased with a giggle.

"Well, I guess we know what Beca gets teased about," Rachael said, giggling as well. "What time is it anyway?"

"Oh good grief, we’re well past our hour. We spent most of the time talking. Well at least we got to know each other better," Beca confessed. "We better get you two back to Ellen's office."

With that we headed up the stairs and back the way we’d came. When we arrived at Ellen's office, Beca knocked.

"Enter," we heard a voice of authority from within the office, definitely Ellen's.

Beca opened the door and we all went in.

"Welcome girls," said Ellen. "I was just about to call out the Sheriff’s Search and Rescue posse," she said with a smile and a giggle. "Matilda, Rachael, why don't you two have a seat on one of the couches. Liz, Beca, could I please have a word with you?" she asked as she got up and motioned them over to her desk.

A few minutes later Lizy and Beca said good-byes and left. And Ellen returned to her chair.

"Well girls, how was your lunch and tour?" asked Ellen.

"Lunch was great, we had a really fun time talking with the other girls," Rachael said.

"As for our tour, well we did make it down to see the pools, but we kind of spent the rest of the time talking," I added.

"Well I’m glad that you two had a good time. I just thought I would let you know the consensus of the girl's you had lunch with. Most of them think that Matilda is transgendered and Rachael is genetic. But the vote was four to two, which means that two of the girls believe that Matilda is genetic. Very impressive for someone who doesn't even dress full-time! You should be proud of yourself, Matilda. You completely fooled two of our best detectives."

Rachael and I turned to each other, and gave each other a high five. We were both pleased with ourselves.

"What's that all about?" Mom asked.

"Well, once we learned that this is a school for the transgendered, and the other girl's were supposed to guess which one of us was transgendered, we thought we'd have a little fun with them," I said with a mischievous grin.

"Yes, I tried to act like a scared little boy," Rachael admitted.

"And I tried to be more confident," I added. "I guess I didn't do as well as I was trying, they still figured it out."

"Yes, but you did fool two of them. That's not half bad, for a two day old," Mom said, both complimenting and teasing at the same time.

"Just for your information, four of the girls you had lunch with are transgendered," Ellen informed us.

“What? You’re kidding right? Four of those girls are just like me, which ones?” I asked in surprise.

“Well if you couldn’t tell, I'm certainly not going to tell you. It just goes to show how well they have learned their lessons,” said Ellen with a smile.

“We have some classes that are very specialized; you won’t find them in any school curriculum anywhere else, not in this country anyway. Girl 101 and 102 as they have been nicknamed, are each a six month classes to teach someone like you how to dress, walk, act, and think like a girl. There's also Boy 101 and 102 for those who want to appear more masculine,” Ellen told us. “The problem here is you need to graduate from both Girl 101 and 102 in less than ten days. On the other hand most of what we teach in Girl 101 you already know, simply because you have been around girls and have been acting like a girl most of your life. There are only a few things that gave you away during lunch. One — you eat like a boy. The table manners of girl’s are subtly different from those of boy’s. Two — your speech patterns and conversation skills are just a little off. That is you don’t think like a girl, this is really the trick and usually takes a long time to change.”

“Are you telling me that it’s hopeless?” I asked timidly, my heart sinking. I’d failed to be a good enough girl.

“Of course its not hopeless. Nothing is hopeless,” Ellen said with a smile. “Edith, I was wondering if Matilda could stay with us from now until a week from Friday?”

“Oh, that just isn’t possible. There is no way I would be able to hide something like that from David,” Mom told her. “Being that he’s an ex-marine, he's sometimes a little overly suspicious.”

“Well then could you bring her here each day from about 9:30am to 2:30pm?” Ellen asked. “We can compress as much information into those five hours as possible.”

“That should be no problem, as long as the weather is good so Karen and Charles go off to be with their friends. I do have a question that I have to ask. What will this cost? I don’t know how much I will be able to keep from David,” Mom answered, and asked.

“Don’t worry about the money Edith. We do have a budget to follow, but there is also some flexibility. Helping Matilda for a few days won’t bankrupt the school,” Ellen explained. “Now that’s settled, we'll expect to see you and Matilda at 9:30 tomorrow morning. I'll make the arrangements for Matilda’s room and her school uniform’s this afternoon, I'll also setup an office for you, Edith. While Matilda is working at becoming a girl, we'll start getting you back up to speed with your studies. We may even schedule you a client or two. Oh Matilda, I have some homework for you. I want you to stop at your favorite store and pick up several magazines dealing with fashion for girls. Read them from cover to cover. When you have finished with them get some more. The best way to start thinking like a girl is to read as much material as you can that is intended for girls.” As Ellen was talking she was busy making several entries in a small hand held computer.

‘Where had that come from?’ I wondered.

“What do you mean 'my room and school uniform’s',” I had to ask.

“We’ll set up a room where you can change from what ever you are wearing when you arrive into our standard school uniforms. We are trying to teach you to think like a girl. It will help for you to dress the same as the rest of the girls,” Ellen explained.

“Well that answers every question except one. What are we going to do with Rachael while Matilda and I are here each day?” Mom asked.

“Well I’m sorry Edith, but we don’t take children younger than ten years of age. Helping Matilda for a few days doesn't violate the school rules because she isn’t a full-time student. As for Rachael. It's not possible for her to be here each day. Security would have a fit. The only exception would be if there were some very unusually circumstances. I’m afraid you are going to have to make some other arrangements for Rachael,” Ellen apologized.

“Well,” Mom said as she looked at Rachael. “I guess we can arrange for you to spend those days with one of your friends.”

“Mom, do you think I could stay with Mary Beth or Kimmie? My friends act so immature,” Rachael said.

“Well, I'll call Jean Phelps when we get home,” Mom told her, shaking her head.

“Well now, does that cover all your questions Edith?” Ellen asked.

“Yes, I guess that covers everything. I guess we should get going, we’ve some shopping to do this afternoon, don’t we girls?” Mom said.

Rachael and I both nodded. You know, I've discovered that every time I nod or shake my head this long hair tickles my ears. I think I kind of like it.

“Girls,” Ellen said. “Before you leave I need to explain something to you both. Due to the fact that there are some people and groups don’t like transsexuals, this school and its location are a very closely guarded secret. Normally a member of the faculty would have brought you here, but because of special circumstances, your mother was trusted with the directions. I need you all to promise that you won’t tell anybody about the school, the type of students that go here or where this school is.”

“We promise,” Rachael and I solemnly swore, in one voice.

“Very well, I will see you both tomorrow morning at 9:30. Rachael it has been a pleasure meeting you today,” said Ellen. Then we all got up and Ellen led us out to our car.

We said our goodbyes to Ellen, then got into our car and started for home. No one spoke as we drove back up the hill toward the main gate of the school. I guess we were all thinking about what had happened that day, I know I was. Today started out just asking for a little help for me to be convincing as a girl, and has ended up with me attending classes for the next seven days at this exclusive, almost secret school. As we approached the gates they slid open. There must be a camera mounted somewhere, I wonder just what kind of school this really is that has that kind of security.

“Mom, why is Ellen going to set up an office for you?” I asked.

“Ellen offered me a job at the school. It seems that they are looking for several more Psychiatrists and counselors. With that many students they just haven’t been able to find enough that are trained, and are understanding of the problems that transgendered children have. I’ve tentatively accepted. I would be a counselor, working with those students that are not transgendered. While I am working there I will go back to the University and take the classes I need to refresh and then finish my Doctorate degree,” Mom explained.

We stopped at Wal-Mart and got me two pairs of shoes and five magazines. One pair of black Mary Jane’s and a pair of white sneakers with pink butterflies, they’re just so cute. After we got home I quickly changed; I finished just minutes before Chuck got home.

After dinner that night, Mom called and talked with Jean Phelps. Rachael and I went to see Mary Beth. We met at our favorite corner of Liberty Park.

“Hi, Mary Beth,” Rachael and I said together. There we go, acting like twins again.

“Hi Rachael,” Mary Beth said. Then looking around to make sure we were alone. When she saw there was nobody close, she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “Hello, Matilda my dear friend. How have you been?”

“Things have been pretty good. That birthday invitation kind of stirred things up though,” I said.

“I’m really sorry about that. I tried to get my Mom to let me invite Matt. I told her that he was my best friend, and I really, really wanted him there. But she wouldn’t budge, 'I’m only ten years old and it just wouldn’t be proper to invite a boy to my birthday party', she kept telling me. So I figured that the next best thing would be to invite Matilda. I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble,” she said. She was really sad about the whole thing. I hugged her for a minute to tell her it was okay.

“Hey it’s really no problem, Mary Beth. It just caused us to move up the timetable for Matilda’s debut. It's been a wild couple of days, and will be very busy for me over the next week and a half as I get ready for your party,” I told her.

“It’s going to take you almost two weeks to get ready for my party? What do you mean?” Mary Beth asked.

“Well your Mother said that Matt couldn’t come to the party, right? So if I show-up in a dress, looking like Matt in a dress, how do you think your Mother will react?” I asked her.

“Oh my, she would probably cancel the party and I would be grounded for at least two weeks,” Mary Beth said, shaking her head. “So what do you have to do?” she asked.

“It’s simple . . . I have to become a girl!” I told her.

Mary Beth looked at me like she didn’t believe a word I was saying. “How can you become a girl? Let alone become a girl in two weeks?” she finally asked.

“Well, I don’t know all of what is going to happen. But trust me, when Matilda shows up at your Birthday Party you won’t recognize her,” I said.

“Sure you will, Mary Beth, because Matilda will be the prettiest girl at your birthday party,” Rachael said while giggling.

“You two are teasing me again,” Mary Beth said.

“Well judging from the reaction of everyone who's met Matilda so far, you’d better get your hair done professionally. Get yourself a new gown with shoes to match. And learn how to do your makeup so that you'll look like a princess. That's if you want to stay in the running,” I said, all while keeping a straight face.

“You mean Matilda has been out meeting other people?” Mary Beth asked.

“Well for the last two days . . .” I started.

“Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Matilda wears MAKEUP?” Mary Beth said excitedly, as she realized what I had said.

“That’s right. And for your party, I get to wear make up too,” beamed Rachael.

“That’s so unfair. My Mom won’t let me wear makeup until I’m fourteen,” Mary Beth said pouted.

“Well it’s really just a little tiny bit of make up, to accent certain features,” I added. “But if having Matilda and Rachael wearing make up at your birthday party is going to cause you to not enjoy your own party, I guess we could cancel and not come,” I offered.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re my best friend. It doesn’t matter to me if you are Matt or Matilda, I love you and I want you at my party. Even if you do turn out to be prettier than me. Of course I doubt that you can,” Mary Beth said, almost as a challenge.

“So tell me, why is Rachael going to spend Thursday, Friday and all of next week at my house?” Mary Beth asked.

“Well, it’s like I said. It will take a lot of work for me to be a girl. I'm going someplace where they will teach me the things I need to know. And before you ask about it, don’t. We aren’t allowed to talk about it,” I said in answer to her unasked question, although I probably caused her to think of ten more.

“Well okay, whatever. So when do I get to meet Matilda? I kind of need to know what the competition looks like,” Mary Beth asked.

“Well I’m sorry but you don’t get to meet her until your party. You see; Karen, Chuck, and Dad don’t know about Matilda yet and we need to keep it that way for now.” I told her. “Mary Beth I need to ask you a really, really big favor? I need you to promise me that you won’t talk about Matilda to anyone else. No one can know that I’m Matilda. Please . . . promise me?” I asked, as I looked deep into Mary Beth’s eyes.

“Oh that's going to be hard, and it's going to be really hard after the party. Everyone there will want to know who Matilda is, where she came from, how I know her. Lots of things like that. But okay, I promise I won’t talk about Matilda to anyone,” Mary Beth said.

“I know it’s going to be hard. But we have to keep it a secret. Like I said, Dad doesn’t know about Matilda and I'm afraid that he's not going to like this very much,” I told her. I couldn’t help myself; I started shaking as I thought about Dad’s reaction to Matilda.

Rachael quickly put her arms around me. “This happens every time Matilda thinks about Dad. She is really afraid of him. Dad has kind of a violent temper and sometimes he loses control,” Rachael told Mary Beth softly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone anything,” Mary Beth promised.

Mary Beth put her arms around me as well and together they hugged me until I stopped shaking. It was almost dark when I had settled down enough to be led home. With Rachael on one side of me and Mary Beth on the other side they led me home. Rachael told Mom what had happened at the park and why I was so upset. Mom had to get me ready for bed again, as I wasn’t very coherent at the time.”

But tomorrow is another day.

“What will that day be like? I wonder.
What will my future bring? I wonder”
Rogers & Hammerstein

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