I stood rooted to the floor, not knowing what to do next in the face of Lucy’s icy stare. My lower lip started to tremble. I looked at Geoff but there was no sympathy visible. His face was totally impassive. Then it dawned on me that they were having me on.

“Slut! Before you leave us, are you wearing underwear?”

“Yes,” I managed to mumble, without laughing.

“That’s *Yes Mistress* to you.”

“Yes, Mistress.” This was over the top. I knew she didn't mean it.

“Take them off, here and now. You are no longer permitted to wear panties in this house and you will hold yourself ready to pleasure Master Geoffrey or myself at any time of the night or day. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Mistress.” I pulled down my panties and stepped out of them. I can act too, and being available any time of night or day was what I was anyway. If she really thought that would frighten me she was way off beam.

“You’re not fit to wear that uniform either. Take it off now. I will tell you when you have earned the right to be a proper maid.”

I unzipped my dress and allowed it to slip down to the floor, petticoats too, before stepping out of it. I stood there in my heels and stockings, suspender belt and bra, waiting for the next shock. She fixed that basilisk stare on me. I have to say she did it pretty well.

“Come closer. Stand here.” She pointed imperiously to the side of the bed.

I moved over to stand next to the bed wondering what would happen next, when suddenly they both whooped and grabbed me, pulling me down onto the bed with them. They were screaming with laughter, and started to tickle me unmercifully, making me thrash around uncontrollably.

“If you could have seen your face,” gasped Lucy between giggles. “Absolutely priceless!”

“That’s a gotcha,” chortled Geoff.

“Stop it! Stop it!” I squawked as I tried to escape their tickling hands, unsuccessfully, but, in truth, I was so relieved that I had been right that they weren’t really angry at me I would have happily let them tickle me to death. I kicked off my shoes so I wouldn’t accidentally stab anybody, trying to make it look as though I was just thrashing around.

As suddenly as they started, they stopped, and began to shower me with kisses on both sides, encircling me so that it was hard for me to move. Next thing, my bra was gone and they were kissing my boobs as well. I was overwhelmed with the change from my earlier reception and what was happening now. Before I could react there was a hand between my legs and fingers in my vagina. Lips sucked at my nipples and I was being kissed passionately. While my mind was still in a whirl my body was starting to react to the sexual attention.

“Why did you try to frighten me like that?” I managed to splutter, stopping myself from succumbing completely to the foreplay. It felt so good after the horrible reception Lucy had given me a few minutes ago, even if I had seen through it.

“Because you deserved it, you devious little vixen. You set us both up. Did you think we wouldn’t talk to each other? You made Geoff believe I was some lonely old spinster dying for a man and you told me he was still suffering from Carole syndrome, so we decided you needed to be taught a lesson. You’re not the only one who can play tricks.”

“But it wasn’t like that. I didn’t mean any harm. I just wanted to make sure you liked each other.”

“Oh, we know that, you silly cow,” interjected Geoff, “and it worked. We both had a ton of fun, didn’t we Lucy?”

She snorted. “Yes, we sure did.” She stroked Geoff’s chest fondly. “It’s a really quick way to get to know one another. And as for you,” she turned to me and mashed her lips up against mine.

“You done good, but you’re so naughty; we are going to punish you. Which half do you want, Geoff?”

“Your choice, milady. I’ll take the leftovers.” He gave an evil smirk.

“I think I’ll take the top half, so I can stop her screaming and disturbing the neighbours.”

“OK, then I gets the bottom and I’ll give her something to scream about.”

They both lapsed into sinister laughter as if on cue. “Mwa-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!”

I started giggling and hoped they would do their worst. I really wanted to be ravaged, so I spread my legs wide and threw my arms out to invite attention to my breasts. The next thing I knew Geoff was inside me. All this chit-chat had evidently not made only me horny, and seconds later I found myself eating Lucy as she straddled my face while she kneaded my nipples. I definitely wasn’t going to be able to scream. Well, maybe I could, but it would be awfully muffled. God, it was fun. I’d never been in a threesome before, and we kept on changing over. A little later I was sucking Geoff for all I was worth with my fingers keeping Lucy occupied, and then we swapped again and Lucy was returning the favour to me. We were a twelve-limbed octopus…..is that a duodecapus? Whatever! If you ever get the chance I can recommend it.

Eventually, of course, we collapsed in a heap, with Geoff whining, “How am I going to last a week?”

Women have more stamina. Now why can’t that be an Olympic event? What would you call it? A tri-sexathlon? We would always win gold and wouldn’t it be fun? I doubt a man could even take Bronze, but they’d probably rig the scoring somehow. Imagine the viewing figures if they showed it on TV! The judging would be hilarious. Some pompous arsehole of an announcer would intone “That looks like a ten to me. The technique is superb.” as a rigid penis thrust vigorously into its eagerly awaiting receptacle. Camera-angle would be critical. And then three judges would hold up their scores, 9.5, 8.5, 9.0. Do I have a dirty mind?

The afterglow was lovely, a kiss and a cuddle and a stroke and a nibble here and there. The bed was a real mess. Sigh! More work for the poor maid. Later I would have to strip it down to the mattress cover before making it. Lucky I had been using a moisture repellent cover for years.

A bit later we all repaired to the shower and cleaned each other absolutely thoroughly. Intimacy was no problem. Three in a shower is quite crowded and demands co-operation. I noticed that Geoff and Lucy took loads of time with each other. Have you ever seen those pictures of apes grooming? I couldn’t stop giggling and when I told them why it was me who got well and truly groomed.

Well, eventually we finished and got dressed. I retrieved my dress, underwear and shoes before going off to make fresh coffee and breakfast. I had to ditch my nylons. They had had it. The number of stockings we waste and destroy in this flat in a month would probably outfit the chorus line of the Windmill Girls for a year, but I don’t have a conscience about it.

So we ate and I did the chores, while they got to know each other better, and I sang to “No Milk Today” on the radio and they rudely yelled at me to shut up. I waited a little until “This Will Be The Last Time” happened to come on and sang to that. Bugger them.

When I was upstairs doing the beds Lucy came up and gave me a big hug.

“You really are awful, but you were right. I was dying for a man and seeing you with him was very hard. I do love you, you know. You’re sometimes very perceptive and last night was lovely. He’s very considerate. Maybe Carole actually did us all a favour, because he really cares what a girl wants when you make love.

“I’m sorry, but you asked to be razzed and we couldn’t resist. You did take the bait so nicely.” She giggled furiously. “You were so funny. If only you could have seen yourself. You really are so gullible sometimes. How could you have believed I was such a bitch?” I didn't spoil things by telling her I had actually caught on pretty quickly. We held each other and I was sort of mad at her while I loved her madly. Does that make sense?

I pushed my lip out and pouted. I do a pretty good pout, but she just laughed, and so I had to too, and we kissed each other thoroughly. She ran her fingers through my hair and I cupped her lovely face in my hands.

“Do you really like him? Was he good?”

“Yes and Yes.”

“Can we be a real threesome? And all love each other?”

“I think so. You’ll have to ask him, of course, but I think the answer will be yes. But I still think we have to take things a bit more slowly.”

“I can see that now. You’re the smart one. You set the timetable.”

“Darling, there’s no timetable, but I’ll tell you when I think we’re all ready, OK?”

“OK.” And I kissed her again, with passion.

She left me to finish my chores and I waltzed through them, singing along to “Catch Me If You Can” and “We’ve Gotta Get Outta This Place” and I seemed to finish in no time at all, everything changed, beds made, the washing and washing-up done, bathrooms clean, and only the ironing left to do. Dusting could wait until tomorrow.

I went downstairs and found them canoodling on the sofa in the living-room. I announced myself with a discreet cough and they came up for air and both stretched out an arm beckoning me to join in, which I did with pleasure.

A few minutes later Lucy told me I had better get showered and changed as we were all going to the Victoria and Albert (museum) to show Geoff a bit of London culture. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there. It’s an absolutely wonderful place. Many people think it only has costumes from Victorian times but it has all sorts of artifacts from mediaeval times onwards and from exotic places. I could spend days in there and, best of all, it’s only about fifteen minutes walk away in Cromwell Gardens. Some of the Elizabethan, Stuart and Georgian gowns made my mouth water as I imagined myself dressed to the nines in those gorgeous fabrics and brocades. Mind you, imagination was probably the better part of it; they must have weighed a ton and getting in and out of them would have taken hours, even with a couple of ladies’ maids to help, and cast-iron corsets.

I went and freshened up, glowing as I was from my housework duties and the little snog. I spent a minute or two in front of the mirror, naked, reassuring myself that I was really a girl (in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a bit insecure sometimes), and then put on a pair of jeans and a summery peasant blouse in a bright aqua. I wore a pair of flat sandals for all the walking we would be doing and kept my hair up in a ponytail. A little touch-up on the mascara, eye-liner and shadow and a fresh swipe of lippy and I was ready to go. I went back for a black angora wrap since although it was warm it was late September and the weather could do anything.

So off we went and had a fabulous time. I had worried that Geoff might get bored, because the museum is widely regarded as a girly place, but he found fascinating things in the exhibits from the Far East and some of the Scottish stuff. I kept having visions of dancing a minuet with him in knee-britches, ruffled shirt and brocade jacket. Maybe you thought that would look poncy on him, but in my mind’s eye he looked scrumptious.

When they closed at six we went and had a drink at the Ifield. They had one of those table-football games in the snug (private bar). You know; the ones with the handles with little wooden players on a spindle. I used to be pretty good back when I was a boy so I challenged Geoff to a game. I was still good even though I was out of practice and I beat him, so I jumped up and down, clapping my hands and chortling. That got his male ego going of course, so he challenged me to another game and he won, so I had to challenge him back, and I won.

Lucy wanted a go, so I thrashed her and then she played Geoff and he thrashed her too, so she reckoned we weren’t fair and went and sat down in a huff, so we had to stop playing and go and comfort her. We were tempted to eat there again, but instead went to the chippie next door and took our fish’n’chips home and ate there. Not much washing up and I made tea and coffee afterwards. We sat and watched TV for a while and then all looked at each other and went to bed, together of course, in Lucy’s bedroom, after a lovely intimate shower.

Lucy and I laid there with Geoff in the middle, each with a hand on his tool, our fingers entwined and giving it a little massage, just to keep it in top condition. He had an arm around both of us and was playing with a nipple on each side. Arousal was definitely not a problem, at least for me. I snuggled in and kissed him, without loosening “our” grasp on his dick, and Lucy did the same on the other side.

I felt a sudden need for Lucy. Even though she had scared the living daylights out of me in the morning, I wanted to cuddle and kiss her and show her that I loved her. I let go of her hand, the one we both had on Geoff, and climbed over him to embrace her properly. With my arms around her I pulled her close, kissing her passionately, melding our bodies together. Geoff lay beneath us with an enormous hard-on and couldn’t be ignored, so I manoeuvred Lucy over him and pushed her down until she was impaled. When I was satisfied that she couldn’t escape I began stroking her breasts and carried on nuzzling her and running my fingernails up and down her back. She was moaning and panting with pleasure. I didn’t care whether this was a result of my ministrations or Geoff’s. She seemed to be happy.

Our man from Hove (actually) was performing in a sterling manner, thrusting up into my darling girl until they both gave an enormous shudder and came together. That gave me such a thrill that I was only a fraction of a second behind them, and then we were all holding each other, lying slack on the bed. I wanted Geoff too but knew I would have to wait for a bit of recovery time. Everything has its limits.

Later that night I got my wish with Lucy ministering to me and my boobies. We decided that we didn’t have to wear Geoff out on the second night, but could use him a little sparingly so he would last the whole week. After all, once each for us girls meant two for him. The way he carried on you would have thought twice a night was some kind of jail sentence, instead of a reward for a good boy. Lucy and I rolled around the bed laughing when he complained.

Some people are never happy. Here was a man living an adolescent’s fantasy, whining about being called on for two performances a night. Typically British! He couldn’t keep a straight face for long though.

We slept entwined and I woke in the morning and disentangled myself to get up and get breakfast, evading sleepy clutches from both of my sweeties. When I was dressed and brought their juice and coffee my heart almost overflowed with the love and affection I felt for both of them.

The rest of the week just got better. We did touristy things, like going to the zoo (which stirred the dirtiest recesses of our minds. Some of those animals can really fuck) and the British Museum, a boat trip on the Thames, the Tower of London and Tower Bridge, Piccadilly Circus and Trafalgar Square; Buckingham Palace. You name it. Lucy called in some favours and we got seats at a couple of the current hit stage-shows and did the clubs afterwards, impressing Geoff by introducing him to some well-known actors and musos. He himself was a bit of a hit with some of the women (and a couple of the men) and we had to keep a sharp eye out so as not to lose him.

And every night we made love. Geoff and Lucy bonded so well I was almost jealous, but I was always there in their arms and they lavished as much love on me as they did on each other and I did on them. Everything I had hoped for came true and we were a threesome in all senses of the word.

We did talk about the future and we all wanted our rapture to last. We all knew we didn’t HAVE TO make any drastic decisions yet and so we agreed to carry on for a while just as we were.

Inevitably Sunday came around and Geoff had to go back to Hove (actually). We arranged for him to come and spend the Christmas holidays with us, two weeks spanning the New Year too, but we also told him to come any weekend he could. Just give us a ring and his room would be waiting (that was a laugh. He’d only slept in it the first night).

We went and saw him off and cried a little afterwards. God, he was only going fifty miles! What a silly sentimental couple of creatures we were.

Life got back to normal. Geoff came back for a weekend in late October and we had a ball. Then one morning I took Lucy her coffee and juice and she wasn’t in bed. I could hear retching sounds coming from the bathroom and rushed in to find her sitting on the floor with her head down the toilet-bowl, throwing up.

When she finished and I had wiped her clean I asked her what was wrong.

“Ohh, my love, I don’t think there’s anything actually wrong. That may have been morning sickness. I’ve missed my period.”

Thick as I was, I didn’t grasp the importance of that. I got her back to bed and went and rang the local doctor’s office and made an appointment for her later that morning. I got her ready, and took her the couple of hundred yards to the consultation rooms, and then waited anxiously while she was in with the doctor.

She came out beaming and hugged me.

“I thought so, Suzie. We’re going to be mummies.”

Sometimes I can be so stupid I amaze myself. “That’s great, sweetheart. But how?”

She gave me a real old-fashioned look. “When we get home I’ll tell you about the birds and the bees,” she said. We were already out on the street.

The light bulb in my head finally lit up. “Geoff!” I exclaimed.

“Hooray! Give that girl a cigar.”

“But didn’t you take precautions?”

She sighed. “No, I didn’t. You must admit at first it was a bit of a surprise, engineered by someone quite close to me. And then it simply didn’t occur to me. When your equipment still worked, at least for the last year or so, it wasn’t something I had to worry about. Then I was technically chaste, har-har, for three years and I guess I just forgot.”

She squeezed my arm as we walked. “Don’t worry about it. I’m very happy for all of us. I hope Geoff is when we tell him.”

“I’m happy for both of you,” I said, feeling a sense of outsiderness, because this was one area where I could not participate.

As we turned into the entrance to our flat she grabbed me, sensing my estrangement, and we stood there, faces inches apart, her arms around my neck.

“Listen, darling. This baby will be as much a part of you as of me or Geoff. It wouldn’t be inside me without you. So you are going to be a mother, like it or not.” She tittered. “Unless you want to be a daddy, but you really don’t look like a daddy and we don’t want to confuse the child, do we?”

I gulped and started to tear up. “Thank you, Lucy, my love. I promise I will love him or her as much as I love you and Geoff.”

We stood there on the steps and hugged and kissed, me with tears of relief and joy running down my face. We even got a couple of whistles from passing tradesmen, before we went inside.

We could have rung Geoff at work, but decided against it. We didn’t want him going into shock in the office. So we waited until about six before phoning him at home. I was using the main line and Lucy was on an extension as I dialed (remember dials?) his number. We had tossed for the job of dropping the bombshell and I had lost.

“Hello, Geoff Stoner.”

I put on my plummiest Sloane Ranger accent. “Hello, Geoffrey.”

“Hi, Suzie, what’s doing?”

“Are you sitting down, Geoffrey?”

“Yes, what’s with the silly accent?”

“Geoffrey, I am delighted to tell you you’re going to be a daddy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. You are going to be a father.”

“Oh, come on Suzie. Stop shitting me. We both know you can’t have kids. How?

”Well, Geoffrey, you have a thingy between your legs and sometimes when you stick it in a girl’s thingy some little potential Geoffies swim up into the girl and voila.”

Lucy was doubled over, trying to stop laughing out loud.

“Any way, who said anything about me?”

“Oh shit! Don’t tell me Lucy’s got a bun in the oven. It’s all your fault. I should’ve known you’d get me in strife. Nothing’s changed from when you were a boy.”

“Aren’t you happy, Geoff?”

There was a sort of a gurgle on the other end and then silence for maybe a minute.

“You’re really not shitting me? It’s really true?”

Lucy spoke. “Yes, Geoff. It’s really true. I went to the doctor this morning.”

“That’s great, Lucy. Why didn’t you ring me at work?”

“Geoff, play back the conversation in your head. You could have had a heart attack.”

“It’s that bloody Suzie! I thought she was up to one of her tricks. You know she can’t be trusted.”

Lucy laughed. I was wounded.

“We taught her a lesson darling, and she wouldn’t kid you on something like this.”

“It’s really true. I’m going to be a father. That’s wonderful. How are you, Lucy? Is everything all right? You must take care of yourself. Don’t lift any heavy weights.”

“Geoff, I’m about six weeks pregnant. You don’t have to worry. I’m not going into labour yet. Besides, I have a heavy-lift labourer here next to me.” I dropped the phone and hit her.

“Ow! I’m being assaulted.”

“Can I come up and see you at the weekend?”

“Of course you can, love. Are you pleased?”

“Bloody Hell! Yes, I suppose I am, but you two know how to take the wind out of a feller’s sails, don’t you?”

After a few endearments we put down our phones and then hugged each other, waltzing around the room. He was happy, so we were happy, parents all.

I should mention that we had upgraded Lucy’s bed to king size, so we had lots of playing room. In fact, with only two of you in it you could hunt for half an hour before finding the other one. It meant that it was very easy to organize when Geoff came. He only used “his” bedroom for hanging his clothes and parking his toothbrush. We laid in a few basics in case, like socks and underpants, and a razor, so he could come on the spur of the moment, if needed.

Lucy had rung the theatre and begged off for a couple of days, taking her through the weekend. As I said, I didn’t have to do too much to get ready for Geoff. So we talked. How was this going to affect our lives? Apart from changing us fundamentally, of course.

We might have to move. The baby would need its own room. That caused us some heartache, I can tell you. We both loved the Finborough Road flat, the scene of six….now going on seven….years of happiness, but a flat is a flat and a child is a child, and it takes no brains to work out which one comes first.

But the three of us could fit into two bedrooms. Would Geoff come and live with us? We both wanted him to. A child needs a father, even with two mothers. I was already thinking how I could feed the little darling.

I dreamed of having enormous boobs, a double E at least, filled like barrage balloons with lovely milk for our baby. She (I had decided it would be a she) would never go hungry, because my titties would have an inexhaustible supply, on tap so to speak, at any time of day or night. I imagined the feeling of having this tiny infant sucking away at my nipples, and almost wet myself in anticipation.

“I wish it was me,” I said, snuggling up to Lucy in bed one night. “I wish I was pregnant.”

“I wish it was you too, darling. Then you would be the one feeling sick every morning and in six months time you would be the one waddling around with a sore back from carrying a watermelon in your stomach. You can have it any time. I’ll give it to you.”

“Would you really?”

“No. As a matter of fact I wouldn’t. I really want to have it. Just think. Our very own baby. Isn’t it exciting?” She hugged me tight, grinning from ear to ear.

I changed the subject. “You’ll have to marry him, you know.”

“That’s something we have to talk about when he’s here, dear. You and I can’t make a decision like that. Besides, you want to marry him, don’t you?”

“Yes, but we have to think of the baby. She has to have a father.”

“We don’t know if it’s a girl, Suzie, and, if it is, she has a father, married or not.”

“You know what I mean. She has to have a proper father, or people will look down on her and there will always be legal problems. You have to marry him.”

“We’ll talk about it when he’s here at the weekend, OK?” She kissed me, just to shut me up I think.

The weekend came and with it came Geoff. When we met him at the station he gave me a big regular hug and kiss, but Lucy he handled as if she was made of eggshells, and we both laughed our selves silly, leaving him looking all put out.

Lucy hugged him.

“Geoff darling, us pregnant women are as tough as old boots. While I appreciate the care and attention, don’t think you’re going to get out of making love to me for the next seven or eight months, even if you have to take me from behind later on. Actually, I’m going to get more of you because I don’t have to worry about periods for a while, so I’m going to make Suzie SO jealous. I’m going to shag you silly.”

I swear he blushed from toes to hairline, and then he laughed.

“Then I’ll have to put you up the duff again when you’ve had this one. Let’s see, how about one a year for the next twenty years?”

All chuckling, we went home.

It being November now, and cold and miserable, I had cooked us a nice lamb ragout (stew to you) for dinner and we had that with a bottle of claret. Lucy, not a big drinker at any time, had only one glass, perhaps unconsciously looking after her child-to-be. We followed up with my signature bread-and-butter pudding (dead easy actually) and coffee. I loved feeding them. I really loved it when they licked their plates clean, well, they didn’t quite, but they ate it all.

Geoff belched. Romantic and mannerly, eh?

Lucy rolled her eyes and looked at me. “I suppose we have time to housebreak him before he starts teaching the little one bad habits.”

He grinned. “God, that’ll be fun. I’ll teach it to drool and fart and belch and poop its pants, and make sure its first words are*fuck it* and not mama or dada.”

“You will be a good boy or you won’t get your naughties in bed,” I warned him.

“I knew you would gang up on me,” but he reached over and took my hand and Lucy’s and suddenly got serious. He told us later that he had spent a couple of nights tossing and turning since we told him about the child, wondering what he was going to do.

He took a deep breath.

“Suzie, I love you, and Lucy, I love you. Please don’t say anything until I finish. I have thought about this and some of it is not what blokes find easy, especially blokes like me. Suzie, you were special to me when you were John, in a different way of course, and you’re even more special to me now. “

He let go of our hands and felt in his trouser pocket, bringing out a small tissue-wrapped package, which he opened up to reveal a diamond ring, The stone must have been a carat.

“Suzie, will you wear this as a token of my love?” placing it in the palm of my hand as he said it.

I started to say I would, my heart nearly bursting, but he put a finger on my lips and shushed me and turned to Lucy.

“Lucy, I haven’t known you very long, but you are beautiful inside and out. You have already given me the most precious gift I ever had. Her name is Suzie, and she wouldn’t be here without your love and understanding. Now you’re about to give me another precious gift.”

He rubbed her stomach and then reached into his pocket and brought out another little packet and unwrapped it, producing a ring identical to the one he had just given to me.

“Lucy, will you wear this as a token of my love?”

My cool, calm and collected darling had tears rolling down her face.

“Hush! I haven’t finished. If I could I would ask you both to marry me, but I can’t. Just know that I will always love and cherish you both equally.”

He took our hands again.

“Lucy, will you marry me, knowing that you only have half my heart?”

“Oh, Geoff. You’re so sweet sometimes. I will if you know that you only have half of my heart.” She looked down at her stomach and smiled. “I think my heart will have to get bigger to hold another half too.”

We both slipped our rings on. By now I was crying too. I blinked at Lucy through my tears, and we wrapped Geoff in our arms and smothered him and each other with kisses. He was funny. He looked ever so relieved.

He said to me, “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not, silly man. I love you both.” I ran my fingers through his dark curly hair and kissed my best friend again.

The wedding……well. That’s another story.

The end(for now) Love, Suzie.