©2025 SammyC

My head broke the surface of the lake but I couldn’t see clearly with all the water in my eyes. One thing was certain. It was midday or very close to. The sun was a blurry bright globe in the sky above me. I took a deep, almost convulsive breath and coughed up a cupful of the lake. It was at that moment I realized my right hand was empty, paddling uselessly beneath the water. Uncle Richie wasn’t with me. We must have been separated going through the vortex.

“Reggie! Reggie! Hold on, I’m coming!” There was a loud splash in the near distance. I could make out a dappled shape coming toward me. After a few seconds, as I felt myself sinking, a strong arm wrapped itself around my shoulders, just clear of my throat, and started to drag me through the water. Whoever it was grunted with the dead, wet weight he was trawling. My rescuer surprised me with his strength as he lifted me onto a rowboat, one hand around me, the other gripping the side of the boat. One final grunt and I was gently aboard, my eyes starting to clear but wincing at the sun directly above us in the clear blue sky.

“Reggie! I mean Regina…I keep forgetting your new name. Regina? You’re not breathing…” He started to lower his concerned face toward my lips, pinching my nose between his thumb and forefinger, ready to administer mouth-to-mouth. I struggled to speak, the pinched nose making me sound like a cartoon character.

“George! I’m alright. I can breathe!” My hands reached up to keep him at bay but, at the last second, I halfway sat up and kissed him full on the lips. His lips stayed on mine for several seconds before he abruptly turned away.

“I was afraid you had stopped breathing. I’m glad you’re okay.” He turned to look at me and his eyes went wide. “Regina, you really should’ve worn a bra today.” He pointed at the pencil eraser nipples visible through the wet pink t-shirt I was wearing. A girl’s pink t-shirt! And I looked down to see I was wearing cut-off jeans. I also realized I had something between my legs again, though seemingly safely tucked away. You couldn’t tell. Even in the wet jeans.

“Where’s Uncle Richie?” I asked as George handed me a mostly clean towel. I sniffed it to check. “No fish smell?”

“Regina, you know we haven’t caught any fish. And with you needing to shower and change clothes and the noon sun chasing the fish deeper into the lake, we’ll call it a day and take you home. Your mother will kill me for not forcing you to wear a life jacket. But you wanted to go fishing one last time…”

One last time? What does he mean by that?

“Where’s Uncle Richie? Wasn’t he with us?” I wrapped the towel around myself and sat up in the boat, keeping myself in the middle, equidistant from both sides. I really hated fishing, especially on a boat, since I disliked seafood and, well, I can’t swim.

Rowing as vigorously as he could, George didn’t turn around to reply. “Richie? He didn’t come out with us. Remember? He’s spending the weekend in the city with that new girlfriend he’s seeing. The dentist?”

“What did you mean by saying ‘going fishing one last time’?”

“Reggie…I mean Regina. Sorry, I keep calling you by your boy name. Even though it’s been almost a year since you started transporting—”

“Transitioning.”

“Yeah, that. Regina, you’re gonna be living in Summit. And then, we’re both going off to college next year.” He was quiet for a few minutes as I started to process what he was telling me about my place in this new universe.

“I’d really like you to visit me at school when you can. I’m pretty sure UConn wants to recruit me. You could even come to some of the games…that is, if they start me as a freshman. I wouldn’t want you to drive 4 hours just to see me sit on the bench, waving a towel. Promise you’ll come, Regina?”

“Of course, I will, George. George?”

“Yeah?” He stood up and lashed the boat to the dock outside the boat house. He extended his hand to help me up.

“George, I want to tell you—”

“Watch your step, Regina.”

One of the girls who worked at the boathouse was standing on the dock as we climbed up the ladder. She took one look at my wet, bedraggled hair and the towel wrapped around the length of my body and laughed.

“Well, George, you didn’t manage to catch any fish but it looks like you netted a mermaid for yourself.”

George found a beach blanket in the trunk of his mom’s 10-year-old Honda Civic and laid it on the back seat so I wouldn’t get the upholstery wet.

“I’m almost dry, George. Can’t I sit up front with you?”

“Almost is the operative word. Mom’ll kill me if I get the car all wet. Speaking of moms killing me…your mom isn’t going to be too happy to see you come home looking like that. She’ll think I tried to drown you or something.”

“Yeah but Dad would forgive you anything, short of actually killing me. I’m sure now that I’m a girl, he’d want his stepdaughter involved with a future NBA all-star…”

“Nick? He still thinks of you as a boy. You told me he got that warehouse manager job with L’Oreal in Berkeley Heights because he was embarrassed to be seen in town as the father of a shemale son. It’s why he kept badgering that Artaud guy he met at that business convention just before Christmas for a job. Nick even took me aside after New Year’s and told me to stop hanging out with you. Said it’d be bad publicity for me to associate with deviants. Colleges hate that kind of scandal.”

“Nick said that? I’m going to confront him with that. That creep!”

“Well, you’ll forget all about it by tomorrow when you guys move into the house he’s rented in Summit. You went to see it with your mom and Artie last weekend. Right? You said it was nice.”

“Yeah, I guess I did. But I never knew Nick told you to stay away from me.”

“Couldn’t you guess? We haven’t hung out, except in school, since January.”

“I guess I thought you were just spending all your free time with Winnie.”

“Winnie? Why would I do that? That’s funny. She’s your best friend. In fact, she keeps telling me I should start dating you. What a screwy idea, huh?”

“Winnie Schlitter? We’re talking about Winnie? My ‘best friend’?”

“Didn’t you tell me that she’s the one who suggested we go fishing today?”

“I…I guess I did. George?”

“We’re here. Your mom’s standing out front. Oh no. Keep the towel, Regina. I’m gonna just drop you off. I don’t like the annoyed look on your mother’s face right now.” After I stepped out of the car, I turned around to say goodbye and maybe steal a kiss. But, tires squealing, George had already gunned it down the street. He did shout, “See you later, alligator!”

My mom was already at my shoulder when I shouted in reply, “In a while, crocodile!”

“Regina, what in the world happened to you? You’re all wet!”

“I know, I know. People keep telling me that.” Mom frowned, not finding the humor in the moment. “I accidentally fell out of the boat, mom.”

“Did you not have on a life jacket? I specifically told George to get you one.”

“I…I didn’t want one. I wanted George to like the t-shirt I was wearing—”

“And you’re not wearing a bra! You’re incorrigible!”

“Where’s Nick? I’ve got some things to say to him—"

“Regina, he’s your father. Can’t you call him Dad once in a while? And, anyway, he took Artie to his last tee ball game just 10 minutes ago. I hope it’s not too late for Artie to join a tee ball team in Summit.”

I stumbled into the house, almost tripping over a garbage bag filled with clothing.

“Mom, didn’t Nick take out the trash last night?”

“No, Regina, your father was too tired after driving home from Berkeley Heights. I put out the trash myself.”

“Too tired? It’s only an hour drive. Well, then, what’s this?”

“I’m throwing out all of your old boy clothes. You’re not going to need them now…”

“I…I was thinking maybe we could hang on to them. You know, for old times’ sake.” My voice brimmed with emotion as I half-shouted, “Now that we’re moving away, I won’t have anything to remember the first 16 years of my life by.”

“Regina, are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell off the boat? Just last night you said I should make a bonfire out of your old boy clothes. I even suggested we keep some of it to hand down to Artie—”

I rummaged through the bag and plucked out the navy-blue hoodie I wore all through my junior year…in my original universe.

“Let me keep this one thing, mom?”

“Oh, alright, Regina. But that color’s not good on you. Your pink hoodie is so much cuter.”

After I showered and changed into a lavender tank top and khaki cargo shorts, I decided to air dry my hair instead of using a blow dryer. I wish we lived in a lake house so I could dry my hair by sitting on the edge of the dock, scrolling through my social media on my phone, while the sun did it’s duty. I bit into the ham and egg sandwich Mom had made for me and thought about the new world I’d been welcomed in.

At least here I was already transitioning. George said I’d been on HRT for almost a year. While showering, I could see the changes in my body already taking place. My boobs were small but budding. My rear was bigger and rounder. My skin was smoother. I had always been relatively hairless. And my little man was smaller than I remembered. Sometime after I turn 18, he’ll be beautifully re-shaped.

There were other things that George said that were puzzling. But, in time, things will become clear. All in all, this wasn’t a bad place at all. I’ll miss George though.

The front doorbell rang. Mom sprang from her seat on the couch and opened the door. There was a smile in her voice as she asked whomever it was to come inside.

“Regina, it’s Winnie.”

Hesitantly, I approached them at the front door and saw Winnie standing just outside the screen door, waving to me.

“Winnie, nice to see you. To what do I owe this surprise visit?”

“Oh, Regina. You’re a comedian. Listen, I’d come in but my family’s going to see my grandparents in Paramus. They’re parked down the street.” She pointed in that direction. “I just wanted to say goodbye, you know, before you leave tomorrow.”

“Well, goodbye. Thanks for dropping by.” Mom looked confused.

“Regina, why don’t you and Winnie go around back and sit for a few minutes. There’s a nice cool breeze by the garden. Give Winnie a few of our last tomatoes. They’ll ripen off the vine. Just put them in a paper bag.”

I avoided Winnie as much as I could by pretending to select the best tomatoes to pick as she stood watching behind me. For her part, she acted like we were old and fast buds.

“You’ll like Summit, Regina. I hear it’s a real upper middle-class enclave. That’s what Mrs. Fromme in Social Studies says, anyway. And you’ll be knee deep in boyfriends by Thanksgiving. You’re such a pretty girl.”

“Well, the path is clear for you now with George…”

“George? That’s to laugh. Even though I’m a cheerleader, you know I’ve always disliked jocks. They’re so rude and conceited with themselves. I like artistic types like Tom Verlaine. He’s so talented. I don’t know what I’m going to do when he goes off to Berklee to study music theory. Do you know he’s written all the arrangements for our marching band? I bet you thought he just played all the brass instruments. He’s quite a guitarist too—”

“You…you’re dating Tom?”

“Regina, what’s with you today? I’m going to chalk it up to jitters about leaving Rossington and all your friends behind. Like me, your best friend forever.” She hugged me and made me drop the bag of tomatoes. I quickly picked up the tomatoes as they rolled out onto the soil. Handing the bag to her, I barely grazed her cheek with mine, forcing an uncertain smile as I did.

“Tell your mom thanks! I really have to go. That’s my dad honking his horn. One more thing, Regina. Don’t forget everything I taught you about cheer routines. You can practice by yourself and I’m sure they’ll take you on at the school in Summit. After all, you got private lessons from the best cheerleader in New Jersey. Moi!”

We didn’t move into an upper-middle-class enclave in Summit. No cul-de-sac Georgian house with an in-ground swimming pool and a two-car garage. No celebrity neighbors and catered pool parties for the cognoscenti or social elite. Not even a private security force to patrol the area. It was mostly families of people who worked for L’Oreal, Proper Communications, a marketing and advertising firm with 7,000 employees, or the Post Office. In fact, Nick car-pooled into Berkeley Heights with four other L’Oreal employees. Mom found a job working at the Marshalls department store in Watchung, a 15-minute drive away. Artie found a team in one of the tee ball leagues. Finally, Nick enrolled me with him in a father-daughter bowling league that convened every Thursday night at the Bowlarama in Green Brook. We always parked by the terracotta statue of Fred Flintstone in mid-twinkle toes delivery. It was good luck. We won five weeks in a row at one point.

It was a pleasant surprise but, that summer, George and I texted each other three to four times a week. We even met up twice. Once to go to the movies in the Paramus Mall Cineplex. The second time, we spent a day at The Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson Township. As I was stepping out of his car outside my new house in Summit, George grabbed my arm and twirled me around, planting a soft kiss on my lips. He said good night and put the car in gear. As he drove off, I whispered, “I love you, George.”

I ran into the house and climbed the stairs two at a time, flopped onto my bed, and sobbed into my pillow. I was finally in a world where I was transitioning, accepted as a girl, and expecting to have Gender Affirming Surgery shortly after I turned 18. Yet, the love of my life was still beyond my reach. Geographically, scholastically, emotionally, we were miles and miles apart. And the distance would increase exponentially as we moved on to college and adulthood.

Just before I was able to close my eyes and fall asleep, I counted my blessings and considered them greater and more abundant than my disappointments and failures. I compared the lives of the Reggie/Reginas in the three universes I had traversed. Perhaps Einstein was wrong when he said God doesn’t play dice with the universe. I’ve shot dice three times now and, maybe, this time I’ve thrown a natural instead of crapping out.

It was the first week of classes at Summit Central High and I was standing outside the gym, trying not to cry. I had just tried out for the cheerleading squad and despite performing all the standard cheers perfectly, learned from YouTube videos, I wasn’t chosen. The cheerleading coach told me my lack of experience trumped my skill level. I didn’t want to explain to her that my lack of experience was a direct result of my being a boy for the first three years of high school. As waves of students passed me in the hallway, I turned my back to them. I didn’t want them to see me like this. Especially as the new kid in school. Suddenly, someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind.

“Hey, babe, I didn’t think I’d see you until lunch period.”

I turned around and standing before me was the last person I’d expected to see…at least in this universe. It was Noah Artaud!

“Do…do I know you?” I whispered, trying to calm myself.

He looked closely at me and scratched his chin.

“My god, you look just like my girlfriend. I know for a fact she doesn’t have a twin so who are you? I’m sorry. Excuse me. My name is Noah Artaud.” He held out his hand to shake. I accepted it hesitantly.

“Nice to meet you, Noah. I’m Regina Perrin. I just moved here from Rossington.”

“I can’t believe it. You look so much like her. My girlfriend that is.”

“My father works for L’Oreal in Berkeley Heights—”

“So does my father. He’s a managing partner, actually.”

“Yes, I know—”

“You know? How do you know?”

“Noah, there you are!” A girl rushed into Noah’s embrace and smothered him with kisses. One of the school administrators walked by and admonished them. “No PDAs in the hallways…or any other part of the school. Kids these days.” She walked away, tsking rather loudly.

“Regina, this is my girlfriend. Gigi LeClerc meet Regina Perrin.”

We stared at each other for the longest second, speechless.