Chapter 7

When I went back to the shop, I found out that they had originally been living in Queensferry, right next to the Forth Bridge, so wanted that to be in the picture, along with the family of four. Fair enough. They had a postcard of the bridge that I could use to copy, as well as a family snap.

I took my time with this one. The family were nice and invited me to their home for dinners after we had been in the shop all day. The bridge was very fiddly to do and took the use of my signwriters stick to be steady enough. The family was easier, and I had it done in three days, finishing at about the same time they had set up. That was the Thursday, so I used a water washable paint to write the ‘Grand Opening sale this Saturday’ on the front window.

I helped them during the opening sale, which went well. Some of the women who came into the shop recognised me as one of the models on the website, which meant that I instantly became a celebrity, with the local newspaper covering the opening, I was photographed with the owners for the report. When we shut the shop, we went to a local pub for a meal and a few drinks.

I stayed in Edinburgh for a few more days, sightseeing. It was all new to me, a different county, even. Being so close, and now on my own time, I went further north to see Loch Ness, but didn’t see the monster. What I did do was take some photos so I could paint the scenery later, adding a monster or two.

I went south through Glasgow and the Lake District, taking pictures and sketching as I went. I even stopped off at Blackpool for a couple of nights, just to say I’d been there. Being winter it was cold, but not as cold as the Highlands had been. After that I went back to London, a lot of the way on the M6.

When I got to the house, it was the Saturday. I had called Janice as I was heading south, so she was ready for me when I arrived. The house was larger than many in the local streets and had space in the front for a car. Most of the street was taken up by the NHS Health Centre next door. Janice told me that I could claim the space as the only one with a car had been the one who had moved out. I unloaded the car, looked at the new furniture in my room, and we went out to get new bedlinen, including a quilt cover, seeing that the house was only heated by hot water pipes and wall radiators, which needed the fire to be on all day long. Janice told me that they usually didn’t bother, because the other two girls working full time, and if you light the fire when you get home, the house wasn’t warm until you were about to go to bed. I had a heater from the previous room, so would use that instead.

Janice gave me a note from Yvonne, which told me to cool my heels until the middle of January, if I could. She would find me casual jobs if I needed it, but I would be on the books then. It was now late October, and I had some money in the bank, so asked Janice to tell her that I would spend the time painting. I had a head full of visions and a sketchbook full of ideas.

I re-arranged the two rooms on Sunday, erecting the easel by the window and putting a blank canvas on it, and talking to Janice and the other girls. They were Tracey and Jemma, who both worked in an office in the city. Both were university graduates with degrees in finance. They were very interested in my reputation as an artist. I think that Janice had been talking me up.

Monday, I was alone in the house with a full stomach; these girls believed on a working girl breakfast. I sat down and made a list of things that I had to do. Now that I had a home address, I needed to contact the doctor to get an appointment for a follow up. The surgeon had told me that I could contact him if I was having any problems but would need to be checked over when I had settled. I rang the surgery and made an appointment for Wednesday morning.

One thing that I also needed from him was a confirmation of successful change of gender. I will need to get a new licence for the car and have my government records changed. I thought that it might be nice to get my first passport as a female. I rang Mum to tell her where I now was and that everything was good, in spite of losing the job. Then I put Roberts’ fuel card and debit card in an envelope, wrapped in notepaper, addressed it to the office, care of Marilyn, and added my new address on the back.

The agency was in an office building on St. Martin’s Le Grand, not far from the Old Bailey, and the doctor was in rooms just along the street, so I planned to go and see Yvonne when I went to see the doctor. The closest tube station was St. Paul’s, with the nearest one to me being at Tottenham Hale, a walk from the house. I put my jogging outfit on and walked to the Tottenham Hale Retail Park to find a post box and to check out the stores. I was pleased to see a Lidl store, and even a Food Bank where I could get bulk supplies if I wanted.

From there, I went to over to the tube station and then crossed the road onto Hale Road and the entrance to the Down Lane Park, where I had a long walk. There seemed to be a lot of building work going on, mostly apartment buildings and offices. At the top of the park, I crossed Ashley Road to walk back alongside Watermead Way, as far as Burdock Road, where I turned and crossed the park again and walked back towards the house along Park View Road. It was a nice area, and I was starting to like it.

Before I went back, I dropped into Lidl and got my own supplies. There was a big fridge in the kitchen, and a shelf for me in the pantry, so I went back to Tynemouth Road with a couple of bags. What I had found out was that these girls were more normal than the previous house. They may go out on Saturday nights, but I would be eating in more often. There was a roster, with each of us cooking on the first four days of the week, take-away on Friday and open slather on the weekend. My cooking day was Thursday, but while I stayed inside, I needed to have my lunches.

That afternoon, I stood next to the blank canvas and wondered what I would do as a first painting of the new Trixie. Over the past few months I had painted flowers, sailing ships, bridges, castles, and even herrings. I decided that I would start with something very different. I dredged my memory, looked at pictures on my phone, and started to paint a landscape. It was from a picture I took at Loch Ness, with the green cliffs and the dark water.

When the others came home, we all helped Tracey prepare dinner. They wanted to know what I had got up to, so I told them about my walk. I found out that if we were going out, there was a place that I had passed on my walk called the ‘Volunteer’. Other than that, there were several good places on High Road, with the closest being the ‘Post Bar’ where they had live music. Tracey was a simple, but good, cook. If the others were up to scratch, I would be able to hold my own, after all the cooking that Monica and I did during the lockdowns,

Tuesday, I finished my painting. It was a straight-forward landscape of Loch Ness, as I had seen it. The only difference between real life and the picture was that I had used a very small brush and a magnifying glass to add a vee of a wake, with a tiny periscope at its point. I called it ‘Up Scope’ but anyone just looking at it would think that it looked like Nessie. I set up a second canvas to work on a second version of the same picture. I was going to do it in a different light and have a tiny woman floating on her back with her boobs in a black bikini looking like two black humps. That one I would call ‘Bessie’. I know that it was childish, but I felt that I had to get past this before doing more serious work.

I needed more canvases and found a nearby frame supplier that was a walk away. I went to see them, and they were happy to get in canvases for me to pick up, so I ordered ten in the size I had been using, plus half a dozen smaller ones, suitable for personal pictures. They asked me how many paintings I had finished, so I told them about the early ones in Plymouth and the two showings that had sold out in Southampton. I explained that I was just starting again after the Covid times. They told me that I would get a good deal if I brought mine in for framing.

Wednesday, I took the tube into the city, and went to see the nice doctor.

“Hello, Trixie. I believe that you are now ‘Totally Trixie’. How are you getting on.

“I think that it’s good. I don’t feel as if I’m playacting, and everyone who I see thinks that I’ve always been a woman. I don’t have to stop myself declaring my manhood.”

“Oh, come on. From the way that you walked in here the first time, there was never any time you would do that and get away with it.”

“I suppose you’re right, although I reserve the right to see a second opinion. You said that I may need a check up to make sure that everything is still as it should be.”

“Right. Undress, fully this time and put the gown on. I’ll get the nurse in, and we’ll give you the once-over. After that, we’ll take blood and urine to make sure.”

After the two of them had checked me over and I calmed down after a man had used forceps to open my new passage, the nurse took the blood, and I was given a plastic bottle to go and pee in. When I had redressed, I asked him about the procedure to get all my paperwork altered.

“That’s easy to start, but you need patience to see the end of it. I’ll give you a letter and all the forms you will need to get the name change and the birth certificate edited. After that, you just send off your applications to the various bodies. Most of the forms are available online. I’ll also give you a prescription for birth control pills. They are more to keep you in a cycle like other women than actually stopping you have a baby or a period. The hormones help. If you start to sprout a beard, come back and I’ll give you another couple of jabs.”

I had to wait until the paperwork had been written, then put it in my bag and went along the road to the agency. When I got in to see Yvonne, she gave me a hug.

“Welcome back, Trixie. I believe that you’ve been to the four corners of the country since I last saw you. How are you?”

“Better for having somewhere to call home. When I got back to Southampton, the other girls had moved on, and the share house had a full group of new girls living in it. All the things that I had left were in the company warehouse, in boxes.”

“That wasn’t nice. Why did the others leave?”

“We were victims of our own success. The website produced so much business that it needed more staff, and staff that had experience in that kind of work. Monica is working full-time with the agency down there, and the other two used their experience, adding their new knowledge, to score jobs in the Amazon warehouse. My place had been totally wiped out by the website.”

“Are you able to get through to the next year?”

“Yes, I can paint to keep myself occupied. I haven’t done anything but murals for a couple of years. I have done one picture, and it was nice concentrating on a canvas. I seem to have moved on with subject matter, and I’m not sure how well they’ll be accepted.”

“You will get an invitation to our Christmas Party. Janice will give it to you. We go full glam for it, and the media sometimes cover it to see if there’s any talent that they haven’t met. Janice will be given two cards, with one for you, from a good dress shop, who will give you discount. Before you come to see us in January, get a passport if you don’t have one. Your first job may be in a warmer climate, as the job is a spring collection.”

When I left her, I walked to the Blank Street Coffee and sat, thinking about things, before going over the road to the tube station and working the system back to Tottenham Hale, then back to the house. I spent the afternoon working on the second Loch Ness picture. When I had finished the bit of fun, I had a whole range of pictures in my mind to work on.

On Friday, I put the two Nessie pictures in the car and went to the framers. They had called to say that my new canvases had arrived. When I walked in with my two pictures, they had a close look and declared that they were nice. I chose the frames I wanted and paid for the canvases, putting them in the car to take home. I put one of the smaller canvases on the easel and sketched the outlines in soft pencil, repeating the procedure with the other three. These were going to be special, and not for sale.

Instead of take-away on Friday, we all walked to the ‘Volunteer’ where I asked for the child serve as I was on a diet and got a serve which may have satisfied a six-year-old. The others went out on Saturday, to hit the shops, something I could now do any time. I had a walk in the park and then got serious with my four pictures. Sunday, Janice and I went into the city to visit art galleries.

I painted on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday the framer rang to tell me my pictures were ready, so I took the car to pick them up. The manager grinned when I walked in.

“Trixie! We just thought those two pictures were simple landscapes until we had them on the bench for framing. It was then that we saw the jokes. They are really both very clever. That was what a gallery owner said when he came in to collect some frames. He left his card and wants you to go and talk to him.”

I paid their account and put the two pictures in the car, both nicely protected in bubble wrap, and looked at the card. The gallery wasn’t very far away, in Highgate, so I rang the number. The gentleman who answered remembered the pictures and asked me to come and see him. I drove there and parked, going in and introducing myself.

“Miss Southby. I saw those two pictures that you had left for framing, and I thought that the hidden meanings were wonderful. I would like to have them on my wall, upstairs, on consignment. Down here is all moderns and abstract, but we display more serious work upstairs. Do you have them with you?”

“I do. If I leave them here, what sort of money would I expect if they sell?”

“With the clients we have, I would think that you should get between fifteen hundred and two thousand. Do you have any more?”

“Not yet, I’ve only just settled after painting murals in shops around the country, so I didn’t have time for my own work.”

“Tell me, are there any of those murals in London?’

“There are three close by, all are in Hook and Hokem dress shops, with the closest being Holborn, Millwall, and Chatham.”

“How many did you do?”

“I did every one of their shops, which now numbers around thirty. They are all pictures that the owners wanted. I did bridges, castles, ships, and even herrings for the Grimsby shop.”

“I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll have a look at the murals. Then, if you’ve sold through a gallery before, I’ll talk to them. Then I’ll put a selling price on the two you have. Can you get me more landscapes before the end of November? I tend to sell that sort of picture for Christmas presents, some like to look forward to a sunny summer.”

“You want landscapes or beauty spot scenes that scream summer?”

“Can you do that sort of thing? I know it’s commercial and not art, but they do sell at this time of year.”

“Can I do it? I cut my teeth doing just that sort of picture. I’ll have another ten for you before the end of November.”

I gave him the name and contact of the gallery in Southampton, then went to the car to bring in the two pictures. He gave me a receipt for them, took my contact details and said that he would be in touch, also telling me not to bother with getting future ones framed, as he had his own expert to do that.

I drove home and went back to work on my special project. When I had finished the four, smaller, pictures, I set them aside and worked through November on my summer scenes. I now had a wealth of photos, sketches, and memories of the places I had seen, and they almost fell out of me onto the canvas. All of them featured pretty girls in summer dresses, and now also handsome men in shorts.

The girls were intrigued with how hard I was working. The two that worked in finance understood when I told them that I was painting for an order, and that they would bring me in between ten and twenty thousand before Christmas, if they all sold. Janice caught the bug and started her own painting, buying an easel to set up in her own room.

As I was working, I was amazed at how quick I had become since I last did this sort of thing. It didn’t affect the quality, and I made sure the dresses were up to the standard that had encouraged Janice to get into fashion. I showed her each one as it was finished, and she loved them.

In the second week of November, the gallery owner got back to me and told me that my two Loch Ness paintings had sold, with me getting four thousand for the pair. I told him that I would see him the following week, with the ones that he wanted. When I finished the last of the ten, I started on another for my own room, taking a lot more care with it. I took the four small ones to the framers and chose good frames for them. The manager told me that they deserved them and asked me if I could paint a small picture of him and his family, if he gave me a photo to work from.

I took the ten paintings to the gallery, all wrapped in bubble, and he looked at every one as I was carrying them in.

“This is exactly what I wanted. They’re all good. The Southampton gallery sent me pictures of the three that they sold for five hundred each. They were primitive compared to these.”

“I have had five years and a lot of painting between then and now. I was selling the early ones for fifty each at the market when I was a teenager. Did you have a look at any of the murals?”

“I certainly have, I spoke to the manager at Holborn, who was full of praise at what you had produced in only a few days. You are a real talent and I’m happy to be introducing you to the clientele here in London.”

“That’s very kind of you. I’ll start working on some different subjects to bring you after Christmas. I may be busy after the middle of January as I’ve been told that I’m likely to be overseas on a fashion shoot.”

“Painting?”

“No, posing. I’ve done a bit of modelling for those dress shops I did the murals for, when I was working in their office as a graphic designer.”

While I was there, I gave him an account number that I had set up as Trixie Southby, which only I could transfer from, but he was able to deposit. He paid in the four thousand before I left the gallery.

I was going to slow down for the rest of the year. I had gone through all my applications, and now had a new birth certificate duplicate, a driving licence, a passport, and had changed my Tristan bank account to a Trixie one. I had been back to the doctor, who declared that I was as hale and hearty as the next girl. I had spoken to my mother a few times and promised to be home for Christmas.

I worked on two pictures in December, the one for the framer from the photo, and a larger one that I was determined I would hang in my bedroom. I even went to the B&Q store at the Hale and bought some hanging wire and hooks. I delivered the framer’s picture two weeks before Christmas and he was very happy with it. When he asked what I wanted, I just told him that I would be happy with free framing until I had spent a thousand. I gave him the large picture that I wanted framing and he thought that it was wonderful.

The Christmas party for the agency was a lot of fun. Janice had brought home the invitations and the card for the dress shop. We went there, together, and spent more than we should, but we both looked like supermodels in the dresses and heels. Mine was something that I could never have carried off before the operations, and we had to go to a shop that sold faux fur to get coats to wear over them. I bought Janice hers for her birthday, whenever that may be.

At the party, we looked like the other glamorous models in the room, being picked out as new talent by the photographers. I told Janice to say nothing about being in the back office. Our attention was noticed by Yvonne, who took us both aside to tell us how proud she was that we worked for the agency. When she was asked about us, she told the reporter that we were both her secret weapons, to be unleashed for the public gaze during a photo shoot in January.

When I picked up my painting from the framers, I carefully hung it in the bedroom, where I could see it every morning. I gave the other girls my Christmas presents before I left. They were obviously paintings, and Tracey asked if I minded if she opened hers. I nodded, and she opened it to reveal a portrait of her, as I had grown to see her, as a strong and beautiful young woman with the world at her feet.

Jemma opened hers, to see a similar painting of herself. When Janice looked at hers, she burst into tears. I had painted her as I thought she would look like with a little salon work. It showed her exactly as she looked like at the agency party.

The fourth small picture was a self-portrait of the new me which I was going to give to my mother for Christmas. On the day I left to go home for the holiday, I packed my bag and looked at the one I had done for my wall. It was next to the catalogue picture I had bought, and was a picture of Gloria, Judith, me, Monica, and Sally, as I remembered us on the first day that I had told anyone my secret. We were all in our jogging outfits, in the park, with me in the middle. I had straight hair and no make-up, but I still looked like a tomboy. That day was the first day on the journey that had brought me here. They do say that every journey begins with the first step, and that was the day that I had taken a leap of faith, on the way to becoming a ‘Girl with a Curl’.

Marianne Gregory © 2024