Chapter 6

Before I left the doctor, I made an appointment for the following Friday to get my results. I would have to hang around for the opening sale if all the others were anything to go by. I went back to the hotel and had dinner there. I had an early night but didn’t sleep quickly. I kept wondering if I had done the right things today.

The more I thought about the agency, the more I wondered about just what I would do there. Would I just be a graphic artist with the occasional modelling. Whatever happened, I would have enough time to paint, as long as I had somewhere to paint in. With the gender thing, I wanted to see if I could get this finished while I was on the road. I still had three weeks of holiday up my sleeve.

On Friday, I got started at the Holborn mural. I was right as it was a big shop, and they had a big wall. They wanted a London scene that included the Tower and the Tower Bridge. I laid out the drop sheet, set up the stepladder, cleaned the wall, and then finished early to go and see if I could get a new perspective on the scene.

It took a while, and I did find something that I thought would work. I took a picture of the bridge from the opposite bank and downstream. I was going to paint the scene of the tower looking through the bridge. I walked across the bridge and took another picture in the same line; I would need be to elevate the point of view to get them in, but I thought it was doable. I sketched it out several times, that evening, before I was happy with it. The mural would take most of the week.

On Saturday, I was at the Millwall shop and surprised to see Yvonne and Janice. Janice gave me a hug to make sure it was really me, and Yvonne just smiled.

“I can’t wait to see what you’ve done here. Janice showed me a picture from Hastings. The Battle scene in the background was good, and I could see where she got her looks with the picture of her mother. I’ve been looking at the website with her catalogue in front of me. You really do nail the likenesses. That Monica is a lovely girl.”

The event went well, with Janice buying a few items. It wasn’t Yvonne’s thing, but she did look closely at the Hokem racks. I went to lunch with Janice, and she told me a lot about working in the agency. She had brought her collection of catalogues with her, and I signed them all. She asked me what I was doing on Sunday and offered to show me some of the sights. In the afternoon, I went back to Holborn and started to sketch the picture that was wanted before they shut.

The Holborn shop was a new one on me. I hadn’t had time for a good look when I had been there before. Not only did it sell our products, but it also had a shoe, a lingerie, and an accessory range. Sunday, Janice came to the hotel, and we took a taxi to our destination. She had asked me what I wanted to see, and I had said parks, so that’s what we did. I had my sketchbook and she had hers, so we spent our time sketching flowers and shrubs. She was good, and I told her so.

I found out that the older lady in the room was up for retirement late in the year, so there would be a place for me there. I still wasn’t sure that I would be happy producing story boards for fashion shows and shoots, even though Janice told me it was very steady work.

During the next week, I worked on the mural, finishing on Friday morning, to give me time to be at my appointment. When I was in his surgery again, he sat me down.

“Miss Southby. I have the results of your tests, and they make interesting reading. Tell me, do you masturbate?”

“No, I’ve never felt the need. I never had the night accidents that some of my friends spoke about either.”

“That fits your blood results. You have very low testosterone levels, but, on the other hand, the estrogen levels aren’t higher than you see with a normal male. It should be better for you now we have the injections starting to make a difference. How are your feelings about other boys and girls?”

“I don’t have passionate feelings for either. I have both boy and girl friends, and I feel more bonded with girls, but it’s a sort of sister feeling.”

“We’ll see you again in another three weeks, taking more blood again to see how you’re absorbing the hormones. Hopefully, it will show that you are producing some of your own, now we’ve given it a kick start. After that, I’ll give you the contact details of the gender specialist. She’ll give you the details of the surgeon and the places he operates. Do you have any preference on where you want it done? Some of his clinics do charge, but they’re the ones that provide the best service.”

“I think that I’ll be somewhere between the Midlands and Bristol by the time that comes around. You are being very kind.”

“You’re not the first transgender patient that’s sat in that chair. I see all the girls from the agency. It must be all the good food and exercise that keeps them all so healthy. That’s a good thing, as it allows me to play golf on the weekend.”

He gave me a booster jab and I went back to the hotel. Saturday was the unveiling, and then I would be going north. I went back to the hotel and packed everything up except the outfit for Saturday. Hopefully, the opening would be finished by early afternoon, and I could be on my way. I had booked the hotel in Colchester for that night. The shop had been advised that I would be there Monday morning. Perhaps I could have a day off on Sunday. The Saturday morning had me out of the room and settled up with the company card. I wondered about the cost of this all, I expect that the shops would be picking up some of the expense, at least.

The unveiling was good, and the picture was well thought of. It had been harder fitting in all the owners family and staff than the Tower picture. Yvonne was there and took me to lunch. When we parted, she gave me a hug, telling me that she would be in touch. I left London and headed into Essex, arriving at the hotel in time for dinner. That evening, I sent the two mural pictures to the office and told them where I was now.

Sunday was good. The shop had, of course, wanted the castle in the picture, so I went there and wandered around, taking pictures. I went into the Castle Museum and looked at the artifacts. Who would have guessed that the Romans had non-stick pottery! I made some sketches for myself, and just relaxed.

Monday, I was at the shop early. The mural they had chosen wasn’t all that big, and I finished it up on Tuesday afternoon, contacting Harwich that I would be there on Wednesday, mid-morning. I kept myself very much to myself and had dinner alone. I was packed and out of the hotel as soon as I had eaten the breakfast, arriving in Harwich to unload my drop sheet, ladder, and paints.

These owners just wanted a picture of themselves and the staff, so I sketched their faces and set to work. I had it finished by Thursday afternoon and was in Lowestoft Thursday evening. That mural was to be just the owner and the one salesgirl, so it was finished by Friday afternoon. They wanted me to stay for the sale on Saturday. I checked out of the hotel on Saturday morning, sent the two mural pictures to the office, and was in Norwich on Saturday night.

I explored on Sunday, getting a tourist map at the hotel and wandering around, taking pictures and sketching. Monday morning, I was hard at work on their picture. They wanted Norwich Castle in the picture, so it was lucky I already had a useable sketch to work to. That one was finished on Wednesday, and I was packed up and ready to leave on Thursday morning. I sent the picture to the office and got a ‘well done, all look good’ message from Marilyn with a note that there were new pictures on the website. I looked it up and saw that it was all doing well, and that they had added a feature with the latest pictures. If you held your pointer over the picture, you saw the reverse view. All the models were now from the agency.

Thursday, all I did was check out and drive to my next shop, which was in Sheffield. I went to the shop on Friday morning and prepared the space, getting what they wanted in the picture and giving me a photo to work to. Their two daughters were keen netball players, so one side of the mural was them in their outfits, while the other side was the owners. I was told that the daughters helped out in the shop and would be taking over the running in a few years.

I worked through Friday and Saturday, finishing it on the following Monday. On Sunday, I was taken to the netball game to see the daughters play and had dinner with the family. I booked my next hotel, in Manchester, for Monday night. Manchester was another large shop with other products, and that one took me all the rest of the week, staying for the sale on the Saturday. They included their other lines in the sale, and I came away with some new nighties.

I checked out of the hotel on Sunday and travelled to Liverpool, another large shop. I started that on Monday morning and finished it on Wednesday evening. Thursday morning, I checked out of the hotel and drove to London, filling the petrol tank and booking into a hotel using my own card. Friday, I had my appointment with the doctor.

“Miss Southby, here for us to suck your blood again. This won’t take long. I’ll email you if there are any problems. Where are you on your artistic travels?”

“I’ve just finished a shop in Liverpool and drove down yesterday. I’ll be going back to Birmingham to take up the thread again.”

“So, if I send you to see someone in Oxford in two weeks, you’ll be able to fit that in?”

“Give me the time and the place and I’ll be there.”

He took the blood and asked me about any different feelings I may be having. When I told him that I was getting itchy under the breasts, he said, ‘Excellent’, and told me to make sure that when I went to the appointment in Oxford, I had my penis free, and no breasts stuck on. He rang the clinic, and I was given an appointment for the Thursday.

I stayed in my hotel in London until Sunday morning, when I drove north again to the hotel in Birmingham. In the evening, I sent the Sheffield, Manchester, and Liverpool pictures to the office, with a message that I will be applying for three weeks holiday and would let them know the dates later.

Monday, I was in the shop in Birmingham, finishing that one Wednesday lunchtime. I had checked out on Wednesday morning, so was in Coventry Wednesday afternoon to set up. That one was finished Friday afternoon, and I was expected to hang around for the sale.

I checked out on Saturday and was in Swansea before evening. Once again, I wandered the town and added to my collection of sketches. The shop wasn’t large, so it was easy to have the mural finished by Tuesday afternoon. On Wednesday, I drove to Oxford and checked into a hotel, one that had an in-house salon. I had an appointment for Thursday morning, to have the penis freed and the breasts removed, with a hairdo to follow. I had been letting the perm grow out and the hormones had seemed to accelerate the growth. I went to my appointment with ringlets. I wanted to return to my normal hair as my time as the girl with a curl was past.

The specialist who I saw was very good and very thorough. I was weighed, measured, asked lots of questions and had to give more blood, as well as a urine sample. She sat me down and made sure that I knew what I was letting myself in for. She had the results from the doctor in London to compare, including the ones from the last blood he had taken.

“Trixie. The results from the first and second samples are excellent. You have taken up the hormones well, and it does look as if your body has made its decision for you. You have noticeable nubs on your chest, so I suggest that you stop glueing the formes on. I’ll refer you to the surgeon by email, right now. If you drop in, tomorrow, I should have a time and a place for you. I suggest that you allow two to three weeks for the full procedure. You won’t need any throat surgery as your voice is delightful as it is. Are you able to pay if there is any extra cost?”

“That’s not a problem, I do have some savings. Will you be able to tell me that cost, tomorrow. I do want to be able to go back to my job after three weeks, so some time in recouperation would be good.”

“That is always my recommendation. Although you can go back to work, there’s no sex for a month after that.”

I went back to the hotel and then walked from there into the university precinct, adding to my sketchbook and having to buy a new one. I checked out on Friday morning and went to see when I was to be operated on. I was looking forward to it, yet a little afraid of going through it with no supporters around me.

I was going under the knife in a clinic near Bath, on the Monday week, ten days away. She told me the cost that I would have to pay, up front, for the extras that I wanted, and it was well within my budget. I would have to check in on the Sunday, and would be released on the Sunday, three weeks later.

That afternoon, I drove to Cardiff, letting them know that I would be with them on Monday morning. Sunday, I walked the rejuvenated parts of Cardiff and sketched some more. Monday, I emailed the office that I would start my holiday on the Friday evening, coming back on the Monday in three weeks. I also sent the mural pictures up to date. On Monday and Tuesday, I finished that mural, and I didn’t have to go far for the next one in Bristol.

That was another of the early shops, an older building in the shopping area. They wanted the Clifton Bridge above the picture of the owner and staff. It took me until Friday night to finish it and sent the picture to the office. I stayed for the sale, checked out of the hotel on Sunday morning and drove to the clinic.

Over the next three weeks I subjected myself to the surgeon, who I met on Monday morning before I was sent into dreamland. I was on pain medication until Thursday, and then the stiches all came out the following Monday. I was told that it was an unqualified success, and the catheter and drains were removed after the stiches. After that, I had to learn how to pee properly, how to use an interesting little device to keep my new crevice open, and to stop looking at myself in a mirror every time I saw one.

They had given me a good pair of breasts, and the bruising was starting to fade by the time I left the clinic. I was walking well, having been doing laps of the clinic in my jogging gear, and everyone thought that I was ready to be a model once more, with some of the nurses having recognised me.

I was released on the Sunday, and went to check into the hotel in Bude, where the next shop was. From Bude, it was down to Newquay, Falmouth, and then to Plymouth, where I stayed in a hotel but visited my parents. I was in Plymouth for a week, mainly because the mural was expected to show the Hoe, as well as the staff. They didn’t have a real idea of what the scene should be, so I gave them an historical picture of Drake playing bowls with a galleon on the sea behind them. It was a good job I had started with the ‘Victory’. My mother came in to see me while I was painting, and we had almost every lunch together.

It was odd when I first went to my old home. Mum took one look at me.

“You’ve done something! You’re growing the perm out, I can see, but you’re different. Have you met a boy?”

“No Mum. No boy. I have had changes that will enable me to make one happy. It took three weeks in a clinic and the bruises are still fading. I’m all girl, but without a womb.”

“That doesn’t make you not a woman, I haven’t had one for twenty years, I had to have an operation after I had you.”

We hugged, woman to woman for the first time. Dad was remarkably good about it. I suppose that now being a physically correct female overcame his feelings that I was masquerading. When I finished and we had the, now obligatory, sale, I moved on to the last leg of my travels.

Exeter, Weymouth, and Bournemouth were the last stops of the circuit. When I arrived back in Southampton, I found that my time away had changed a lot of things. Monica had left to take up modelling full time. Gloria and Judith were now working for Amazon in their warehouse in Rochdale. My things that I had left in my room were now all in store in the West Quay warehouse, and the house was now home to five of the new girls.

Marilyn was apologetic but gave me one last job to do. We had been so successful with the online business; we had two new shops being set up. One was in Edinburgh, the other in Grimsby. Stock was on its way, and I was going to help them paint the places, add the murals, and talk to them about the product lines. She gave me an envelope with my pay details up to six weeks after today. I could take my time and use up the final employment or go a bit quicker and take a little bonus. It wasn’t the way I wanted to go out, but that seemed to be the swan song as far as I was concerned. At least I still had a good nest egg from my painting sales.

I claimed my remaining things from the warehouse and filled the Galaxy. It was lucky that I hadn’t had time for painting canvases while I was away. Then I rang Yvonne to tell her that I would be available in about three weeks. I asked her about accommodation and that I had a car full of my things. She told me to hang on. When she came back, she said that Janice was in a share house and one of the girls had left a week ago. She gave me the address and I said that I was leaving Southampton now, so should be in London in three to four hours, depending on the traffic.

I suppose that I had seen it coming, months before. My modelling for the company had been usurped by professionals, my graphic artistry was no longer needed now the website was running. I was sure that each and every one of the others had reacted to change in the dynamics with the new staff. It wasn’t a family any longer, it had become a player in online sales, which needed a different mindset.

I couldn’t feel too bad. Robert had paid me as I went around the country, with fuel and accommodation. I had done what I was sent out to do. The only niggle was that he had not given me a heads-up with the finality of it. Never mind, I was my own woman now, and even if I didn’t have a job, I could start painting in earnest.

When I arrived at the address that the GPS had led me to, Janice came out and gave me a hug.

“Welcome! It worked out perfectly. When Yvonne asked me about a place for you, the rooms here had just been cleared out. I’m afraid that you’ll have to buy some furniture. A bed and side-table for one. The room does have a built-in wardrobe and an ensuite.”

She showed me the room, which wasn’t quite empty, as there was a vanity on a side wall. I could see that there was room for a double, if not a queen bed, and an easy chair would fit. An upright chair in front of the vanity wouldn’t go amiss. Janice grinned and showed me a second room which would be mine. The previous tenant must have used it as a dressing room, as there were a couple of clothes racks. It was, however facing south and had a decent light from the window.

She told me what I would be paying, which was somewhat higher than I had been used to; but this is London, after all. Payment was by electronic transfer, so I deposited enough to cover the next six weeks. Hopefully, I would be back before that. I unloaded my things, with the easel and blank canvases into the small room, and then we went online to see about getting the furniture. I realised that Robert hadn’t asked for the laptop he had given me before my travels. There was a place we found, about fifteen minutes’ drive away, so we went there, and I picked what I wanted, paying for it to be delivered. Janice said that she would take some time off to be there if I left her with the key.

We had a hug and she told me to take care, and then I was off to Grimsby, stopping at Cambridge for the night. The new store was in a state of some chaos, so I was able to sort them out with the usual placement of stock while I started on their mural. They wanted a box of herrings in one top corner, so I needed to look up what they looked like.

After I finished the mural, I helped them finish the shop painting. They already had a signwriter do the name on the front. We got it together in time for an opening sale on the Saturday, and then I was heading for Edinburgh. The shop turned out to be a new tenancy in the Newkirkgate Shopping Centre, very similar in footprint to the one in the Broadway in Plymouth.

They were much further ahead with the preparations, having counter and the transaction infrastructure already in place. When I knocked on the door, I was told that they were closed, so had to explain that I was from Head Office to paint their mural. It seemed that this was the first that they’d heard of it, so I had to show them pictures of the ones that I had already done. They let me bring in the drop sheet, ladder, and my box of paints, but wanted me to give them time to think about what they wanted in the picture.

I told them that I would be back in the morning and went off to get something to eat before going back to the hotel. I could hazard a guess that they would want a scene with the castle.

Marianne Gregory © 2024