The claxon howled a warning as the ship lurched dangerously. Through the strobing emergency lights, the captain staggered to his command chair and collapsed into it. “Disengage! Disengage!!”
The bridge crew looked at him, concern on every face. The young woman at comms was first to find her voice. “Captain? Orders?”
Unable to look away from the main screen to respond, he barked, “Cut the feed, Lieutenant. Cut it NOW!!!” Almost immediately, the image on the screen dissolved into static, like a mid-twentieth century television at the end of a night’s broadcast.
“Should I reverse thrusters, Captain?” The helmsman looked over his shoulder, trying to maintain a neutral and respectful expression, though the captain’s evident distress was contagious.
“Yes! Yes! Immediately!” his superior confirmed, his usually jovial voice cracking with tension.
A moment later, the ship lurched, throwing the crew who were standing to their knees. The Captain spun his chair to face the stocky man at the engineering station. “Report!”
“We appear to have encountered an immovable object, Captain.” The engineer’s hands furiously flew over the controls at his station. “Further retrograde motion is impossible!”
“Find a way, Mister!” The man in the center seat sounded as desperate as he looked.
“I canna change the laws of physics, Captain!” the exasperated engineer replied with a level of heat he had spent decades of service learning to suppress.
The engineer was spared a harsh response from his captain by a timely intervention from the tall First Officer. “Captain. Logic suggests that our present course will be counterproductive. Perhaps —”
“Don’t give me logic,” the Captain spat. “You have no idea how bad this could be!” He spun around, his chair effortlessly allowing him a view of each member of his command team. In their worried looks he could see nothing but accusations. “None of you do! This is . . . he can’t . . . he doesn’t know how bad this will be!”
An impossibly long moment of awkward silence was finally broken by the First Officer’s soft inquiry. “What are your orders, Captain?”
“I don’t KNOW! I can’t deal with . . . .” The man waved his hand vaguely in the direction of the static-filled viewing screen. “”with this!” Somehow, he seemed to shrivel in the command seat, looking small and lost, like an orphan boy.
The First Officer raised his eyes to look at the striking woman in command gold who stood, silent and still, on the other side of the Captain’s chair. His straight right eyebrow floated upward in an unspoken inquiry.
She returned the First Officer’s look, then slowly nodded. Sinking down until her eyes were level with the Captain’s she waited until she had his attention before saying, “Jim. It’s okay. I’ve got this.”
“No,” he replied, his voice broken. “No. Please!”
“We’ve known this might be coming. You need to let me deal with it.”
The Captain looked over at the First Officer, hoping, perhaps, to find an ally. But his XO gravely said, “Sir, you are relieved.”
The Captain looked momentarily rebellious, but then his resolve collapsed and he got weakly to his feet. “I’ll . . . I’ll be in my cabin,” he said shakily.
“I will escort you,” the First Officer replied.
“Sir?” the woman asked, giving him a puzzled look.
He returned her gaze and gave his head an infinitesimally small shake. “Commander. In the present circumstance, I have nothing more to offer. Except to say that I have every confidence in your ability to handle it. Carry on. You have the conn.”
The ghost of a smile graced her full lips as she briefly straightened in a position of attention that would have done the Academy proud. “Acknowledged. I have the conn.” Paying no further attention to her nominal superiors, she turned and sat herself in the center seat, silenced the alarm with a practiced flick of her fingers, then swiveled the chair to face the comms station.
“Reopen a channel, Lieutenant. On screen.”
“The channel is open,” the Lieutenant replied formally. “You’re live.”
The Commander returned her attention to the main screen, which showed the image of a boy approaching puberty, wearing an evening gown that was too large for him. Tears did nothing to improve his untutored efforts to understand makeup.
“Dad . . . I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry!” The boy’s voice radiated panic verging on hysteria.
“Bring me closer,” the Commander murmured to the helmsman. To the boy, she gently said, “Hey. Hey. kiddo. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
James Nero perched on one knee, his son hugged tight to him, waiting for the boy’s sobs to subside. With his words and his touch, he offered nonstop reassurance and love. Finally, when the boy’s breathing sounded almost normal again, James pulled back enough to look into his eyes. “Want to tell me about it?”
David dropped his eyes. “I was just . . . It’s nothing. Just playing around, okay?”
Tenderly, yet firmly, Jim’s finger pushed his son’s chin up until their eyes met again. “If it was a game, you wouldn’t be crying.”
“But . . . .” David stopped, biting his lip, his face a billboard of uncertainty and longing.
“Now listen to me, kid,” James said seriously. “I’m your dad, and I love you, and nothing’s going to change that, okay? I want to help, but I can’t if you won’t let me.”
“You wouldn’t understand,” David whispered in response.
“You might be surprised. But if you don’t mind, can we have this discussion sitting down? My knee is killing me.”
That earned a half-smile which vanished almost as quickly as it appeared. David stepped back to let his father up, but tripped over the hem of the sequined dress he was wearing.
James caught him from falling with a steady hand on his shoulder, then used his grip to raise himself up, groaning as he did. “Urgggh! This getting older stuff is totally bogus.” Slipping an arm loosely over his son’s slender shoulders he said, “how about you tell me over some hot chocolate?”
“Aren’t I a bit old for hot chocolate?”
“No way! If I’m not, you’re not!”
Side by side, they made their way to the kitchen.
“Enter.”
The Commander walked into the Captain’s darkened quarters to find her superior gazing out the private porthole at a view that never got old. The door swished shut behind her. Stopping in the middle of the cabin, she said, “He’ll be okay.”
“He?”
She shrugged, though he couldn’t see it. “Too soon to tell; you know that. Maybe ‘she,’ maybe ‘they.’ Whatever, we can deal with it.”
“Carol will blow a gasket. You know that.”
“Don’t be so sure. She’s always been a good mom.”
“And when the kids at school bully him? When he has no friends? Who will protect him then?”
“He’ll find friends.”
“We didn’t.”
In two strides she crossed the cabin and laid a hand on his shoulder. “This isn’t about us, Jim. But for whatever it’s worth, we’ve managed well enough.”
James snorted in response. “Have we? I wonder if Carol wouldn’t have done better with someone else. Someone less . . . complicated.”
“She’s loved both of us,” she replied softly. “All of us.”
His smile was crooked; wry even. “Without ever knowing it.”
“We’re a common enterprise. All for one and one for all.”
This time his smile was more genuine. “I know.” Finally giving her his full attention, he said, “I’ll need you to take the lead with David. I just can’t.”
“Likely to be an ‘all hands on deck’ kind of thing, but . . . yes. I’ll take the center seat.” With a smile of her own, she added, “if you're stuck having me inside, you might as well get good value.”
“Always. Thanks for bailing me out today.”
“Any time. Just . . . don’t fight me so hard next time.”
“Okay, Gillian.”
— The End
The author would like to thank the amazing Maeryn Lamonte for inspiring this short story, which is the first I’ve been able to write in months.
Comments
Aaaah...
As in sighing contently after having read something new from my favorite author! Loved it and loved you've banged out something for us. Thanks Emma! I really enjoyed trying to see where this was going and being drug into the vividness of the scene. So cool! You still gotz it Chica! Hugz!
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
A bit of “stolen vividness”
To some extent, anyone who watched the original series can immediately picture the opening scene, since it featured in any number of episodes. You can practically hear the campy music that accompanied the scenes that involved action and danger. That shared memory can be invoked with very few brushstrokes!
Thanks for the sweet comment, Rachel — I’m glad I was able to kick out some somethin’ for you, even if it was just a morsel! :)
Emma
To boldly go..
I'm really pleased that your muse is mumbling in her sleep too Emma. I always wondered about James T. Something very feminine about his command, and all for the better.
Lucy xx
"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."
Maybe . . .
. . . Maybe Dr. Janice Lester from the Turnabout Intruder episode never completely left him!
I was glad to get a nibble from my muse, too — though in this case, as I said, the muse took the form of our esteemed Ms. Lamonte. :)
Emma
Be kind to your mus(e)
Looks like she is back though.
I like the unusual take.
Thanks, Bru!
My muse has had a nice long vacation, and I’ll certainly give her whatever she wants in the milk and cookies department, so she should be happy. We’ll see!
Emma
Lead In To This Story
Am I the only one who hasn't a clue to what I read? Emma's excellent quality of writing. No disrespect but this made as much sense as some of Bru's most skillfully convoluted tales. A takeoff of Star Trek, I got. My IQ just doesn't match up to Emma's. She left me behind.
Hugs Emma
Barb
'Space the final frontier. Blindly' go where no woman has gone before
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Blend of internal vs. external
While my own noggin is torched from three days of consuming far too much turkey and stuffing, from my take this tale illustrates the dichotomy of having two selves internally and the recognition of how much trouble this brings. With perhaps a first officer who is insightful enough to have figured this out and therefore addresses the two sides separately even though he's standing external. Perhaps from a Vulcan mind-meld with the Captain having revealed far more than the Captain wanted...
Definitely an alternate universe though, what with the different emperors n all. :)
Also, hooray for another Emma story!!
Ahhhhhh
Thanks Erisian, it finally makes some kind of sense. I'll cut Emma some slack as I figured she had finally left the human equation behind. I'm still not convinced she's come back to earth after her little trip but those of us who have also escaped from time to time have no room to toss Tribbles at others.
Hugs Erisian
Barb
May the Force be with you and may Murphy find you uninteresting and pass you by.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Am I human?
I do wonder, sometimes. :)
Emma
Well done, Seraph!
Though I don’t think the XO is really an external. Sometimes he takes the conn too. The whole cast of characters has their turn in the center seat, from the eager young ensign to the scary and short-lived guy in the red shirt to the buxom vixen. It’s a “common enterprise” that contains multitudes.
Emma
The sound of a metaphor dying . . . .
Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. Sorry, BarbieLee!
Emma
As one Captain, USNR, to another captain……
I spent years burying my real self, hoping to keep the world from seeing her. I thought I was doing a good job, but she kept fighting back. It soon became obvious to those closest to me in times of severe stress that the facade I put forth was not my real self. Surprisingly enough, my ANGLICO team were the first people to get to know her.
But alas, I buried her again - for years after leaving active duty I shoved her down into the depths, so far that I thought I had killed her. But she was more resilient than that.
Many of us spend our entire lives hiding our true selves, never to allow them to see the light of day. More’s the pity, but for many it is the only way they can survive in this world. It took me some five decades to face myself, and it was a life and death situation which finally made me do so.
Your little vignette helps to demonstrate the turbulence that so many of our sisters deal with every day.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
Different kinds of death
There have been plenty of times I thought Emma would need to die, for my alter ego to live. But I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s with me as long as I breathe — and I’m a better human because of it.
Emma
Glad to see your muse active again.
Let's hope this entertaining venture into the psyches inner-space, the fragile frontier, will be the catalyst to keep your creativity flowing,
The story is just obtuse enough to make it brilliant. Your mix of real-life and the dysphoric condition requires a shift of reality to make the connection between the two. Indeed there are many times in my life when Patricia must take the conn in order for me to get through the day.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
Thanks, Patricia!
I know what you mean about having your feminine side take control. There are times when it’s essential, and times when it makes all the difference in the world.
I’m glad the story connected for you; I will try to get more out again without months of inactivity!
Emma
Live long and prosper
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
don’t fight me so hard next time.”
took me a long time to stop fighting Dorothy. life is much better now!
nice one, huggles!
Not sure how you could have kept Dorothy hidden . . . .
Real gems tend to shine, you know. :)
Huggles back atcha, Dot!
Emma
you're making me blush!
I will have you know nobody saw me as a girl ever! (Hides from Jaci)
The Raised Eyebrow
Everyone else knew, but the captain kept the lid on until the pain became unbearable. Oh, how many of us can relate to that situation.
It's also great to see Emma Anne back in the saddle.
Thanks, Jo!
It was really nice to have an idea and just enough time to execute it!
Emma
Glad to see you back at the helm
It's good to read more of your always entertaining prose, Emma. I hope your muse regains her superpowers.
Sandra Smith who played Dr. Janice Lester in this final episode of the original Star Trek, was once married to Steve Reeves, the bodybuilder turned Hercules impersonator in numerous European sword and sandal movies in the 50s and 60s. Small world, Hollywood.
Gene Roddenberry was quite a liberal force in television as he tackled every redline cultural issue way before even Norman Lear's comedy breakthroughs a decade later.
Nice to see you active again, Emma.
Hugs,
Sammy
Steve Reeves
Didn't he also play Superman in the old TV series? No relation, oddly, to Christopher Reeves, who played the title role in the movie.
Thanks for the encouraging words, Sammy. They mean a lot to me.
Emma
By George, Steve did not play Superman
George Reeves, born George Brewer, was the TV Superman of the '50s. No relation to Steve Reeves (his real name). Christopher Reeve, no s, was the movie Superman. BTW, I met Christopher in the early '80s through his estranged father, Franklin, who was a visiting professor of Russian literature at Columbia at the time. Chris' parents divorced when he was only 4 years old. He had an on and off relationship with his father for most of his life. (No, I don't read Russian...but I was an English and Comp Lit grad student)
And no, none of them were related to Keanu. LOL.
Hugs,
Sammy
I've given it much thought.
I've given this comment a lot of thought. I've reread this work three times since it was post and I've allowed myself to soak in the words. I've also read all the comments that have been posted and I've tried to gain a deeper understanding of what this story is about. And at long last I think I've thought enough to leave a insightful comment. First off your almost superhuman prose is still sharp as ever. And you still have the power to deliever quite a punch. Each word it seems have been measured and tailored to fit within the frame of this story. This story to mean is a brief flash, we are briefy introduced to a character and the setting. And yet that enough for us the readers to know what the conflict is. That the main character is battling something deep inside him. I hope one day your muse will allow you to flesh out this story more. Thank you for writing and sharing it with us.
Thank you, Rebecca!
I doubt I'll return to this one -- the central metaphor would get old in a hurry if I continued it! But I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :)
Emma
Gillian is delighted and maybe a little flustered
Your Gillian is so much stronger than her Jim, but maybe that's true of mine too. (Not Jim though. One down quite a few to go. Minor clue, it's not a common name, and I haven't used it for any of my characters yet.)
I could hear Bill Shitner's (sic) unique delivery in the way you wrote his dialogue. I loved that it was James Nero rather than James Tiberius. Much more appropriate to have the nutjob named after a mad emperor.
Maybe I had an unfair advantage, but Gillian's abrupt appearance spoke immediately of Jim's inner girl and was nicely handled, right up to the reveal at the end.
"Tears did nothing to improve his untutored efforts to understand makeup," was a beautifully concise way of evoking panda eyes, though I'm not entirely sure when Jim's son went from being on the main view screen to sitting on Jim's knee.
Overall, concise and effective. Beautifully done.
I would never try . . .
I would never try to guess the identity of your alter ego, Maeryn. Not even a first name. Those of us who must keep "the girl inside" know the importance of secrecy. For me, at least, my inner woman is stronger sometimes, but it depends on the situation. When I most need to find empathy, patience, caring and generosity, Emma is usually the one to take the lead.
As to the question in your penultimate paragraph . . . in the "Real World," James Nero came home to find his son in a dress and makeup. James almost freaked out and made a mess of things, but managed to rally just in time to help David talk it out. In the internal cosmos of James' mind, the moment between freak-out and action was a struggle between a male side catastrophizing over what David's behavior might mean for the boy's future, and a female side that focused on the immediate emotional needs of her child. The Enterprise and its crew are simply a metaphorical vehicle for conveying the nature of the struggle.
Emma
To boldly go Inside Out in the Undiscovered Country of parenting
A wonderful mashup of two great media franchises.
A wise captain knows when to let their their female side
take command. When no names were mentioned I knew
this wasn't simply a Trek fanfic, and as soon as the scene
shifted I knew where and who that crew was.
Seems like David is in good, tender hands.
A fun, sweet and insightful little tale.
I always thought it was weird how the dad's inner self in INSIDE OUT
was all little stereotypical dads.Seems like that'd make for a pretty limited worldview...
I don't know who's working the consoles in my brain, I think maybe the tribbles have taken it over.
~hugs, Veronica
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
I never saw "Inside Out"
But it seems like I should definitely watch it. Except for maybe the stereotypical dads . . . that might not work for me. And, where's the fun in it? The various characters in my personal command team are a lot more diverse!
If Tribbles have taken over your brain, you're going to be thinking a lot about reproduction . . . . :)
Thanks, Ronnie!
Emma
Makes sense
Good story though. Hope your muse keeps prodding you.
These are the voyages . . .
of the Starship Emma Anne . . . !! Loved the Scottie homage "Ye Canna Change The Laws Of Physics!!" I was expecting to hear of Klingons on the Starboard Bough !!
Leave David Alone and let him find his place in the universe - he is on his own voyage of discovery boldly going where many men have gone before!!
Great to read your work as ever!!
Hugs&Kudos!!
Suzi
Thanks, Suzi!
Scottie was always my favorite. :)
As for David, Gillian thinks he’ll be okay, and she’s wise about such things.
Emma
May have been (it WAS) a long delay, but you are back!
I noted as soon as I managed to escape Real Life (about 20 hrs since sending the PM), that you had made the correction I advocated.
I am flattered (from your reply to the PM), that you remembered me, but unlike "The Matrix" which I had (and even now) never watched, the references here did not in total escape me though I may (?) have missed a reference to what I regarded as its split infinitive title trademark "to boldly go"!
Glad you're back in an active role though, in the interim, I have enjoyed your comments to other authors' works.
Besty wishes
Dave
Funny you should mention that split infinitive . . . .
I wrote a short tale about characters from another story, stuck in high school by virtue of their seventeen-year-old bodies, which involved the former Carter Cecil Jackson Distinguished Professor of Linguistics defending that precise formulation. Sadly, I only wrote it in my head . . . .
Beloved Outsider, of course I remember you. Every author who has been blessed with your wonderful comments remembers you. :)
Emma
Inventive and good! :)
I am a stickler for sci-fi, so it attracted my attention immediately. But found in there more than just sci-fi. :)
Thank you!
Come for the SciFi, stay for the psychodrama! :)
Emma