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Several authors have recently commented that they are struggling with writers' blocks of one form or another; I'm in the same boat. But while I'm trying to get my writing mojo back, I was thinking a bit about one of the more enjoyable parts of writing: coming up with just the right metaphor. When you hit it, you know it, and it's a good feeling. Sometimes it means coming up with a fresh comparison; other times, it's a matter of playing with one that is well-known. I ran across an example of the latter just this morning, reading the latest chapter of Iolanthe Portmaneaux's amazing story, Charlotte Had a Boyfriend. Here it is in all its glory:
Just sit with that for a minute. How often have we heard "tight as a bowstring" or something similar. But in Iolanthe's version, we get a vivid visual image, extended over time -- the strings growing tighter and tighter -- coupled with a description of the sound as well. A sound that effortlessly conveys rising distress, to the point of breaking. Perfect. So, here's my question for authors: What metaphor are you most proud of, from which story? Or for readers, what metaphor from a BC story has really stuck in your mind? I'll throw out one, from Strange Manors; I'm not sure it's my favorite, but I want to get the ball rolling and see what other people are thinking. "He pulled me close and laid my head above his heart, my hair cascading over him like smoke over a battlefield." |
Comments
Bailey Summers has written some of my favorites…….
And unfortunately I cannot do them justice as I don’t recall the exact wording.
There is a line in the story Jem about one of the characters taking a bath and wearing steam like the way an old master paints his masterpiece. This is simply one example that comes to mind right away, but there are so many more; they are a good part of why Bailey has ways been one of my favorite authors - and yet another friend who seems to have quietly slipped away from us.
I once commented to Bailey how they reminded me of the Roberta Flack song Killing Me Softly - “Strumming my pain with his fingers, Singing my life with his words, Killing me softly with his song, Killing me softly with his song, Telling my whole life with his words, Killing me softly with his song”
Like the song says, “I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.”
Yeah, Bailey had a way of doing that - of making me feel the words as if they were torn from my very soul.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
“Wearing steam?”
Oh, yeah! That’s good! :)
Emma
'drea sighed.
The Hobbit from Piana d' Arberesh shook her head and spoke...
"Scuse? I feel all thin, Gandalf, sort of stretched out; if you know what I mean. Like too few slices of Provolone spread out over too many loaves of Pane Toscano....."
Love, Andrea Lena
All stories should be re-imagined in Italy
I mean, they have it all!
Love the metaphor, ‘Drea!
Emma
Far too many to list
but here is one of mine.
"I'd like a new right tit, please."
That's from my story 'The Kiss'.
What is good or bad is very subjective and a lot depends on the context.
Another one that I have used but can't claim any ownership of is 'Justice Matters'. The YouTube podcasts put out by Glenn Kirschner are wonderful lessons in giving an insight into the law that non lawyers can understand.
Samantha
It’s a great line!
Standing alone, it doesn’t appear to be a metaphor, but I’ll have to check out the context. Which . . . hey. Never a bad thing!
Emma
Beware
Beware the overwrought (overworked?) metaphor.
As for my examples, with my memory -- both recently and throughout my life -- I always have to be reminded. So I can't remember any right now.
As for my writer's block, I just have to get something down before I get distracted.
"...the certitude that any second, those strings are going to pop." From what I've heard, Sarah Chang was known to break her violin strings. She was Hercules on the violin.
-- Daphne Xu
Hercules
Hercules on the violin? That’s a metaphor I can get behind!
I mean, probably far behind. I like the violin best when played with subtlety and soul. :) But still — the metaphor conveys your point with OCD-like precision!
Emma
An Expression Recalled
Something reminded me of this: "She rose and graced the room with her smile", said about young Ethyl in The Blind Date, from the male narrator's viewpoint.
-- Daphne Xu
Ponderous question
I don't know if it's the favorite from my stories per se, but it did come to mind so I'll share. The setting is our protagonist is in the midst of utterly destroying a demon:
With a final word I lashed out to burn away all traces of the bastard’s true name.
He shrieked then, a shrill note of terror as if his tonsils scraped along a chalkboard. Piece by piece, every bit of his essence supported by that underlying name peeled away, like a house finding itself without a foundation in the midst of a tornado strike. Roof tiles stripped skyward first, then the ceiling and its support beams, only to be followed by all the furniture, doors, and finally the walls themselves.
He howled to the last remnants of brick and mortar and was gone.
Unmade.
This is from Light and Shadow Part 3, at an important turning point for our heroine. The dissonance of the first metaphor in (hopefully!) summoning simultaneously the cringe of potential nails on a chalkboard with the mix of the actual throat being smeared across instead stands out in memory, at least to me! And of course the rest which follows describing the demon's entire essence being rapidly disassembled...
If this is too long for what you had in mind, Emma, apologies! lol And if I stare at it for much longer the inner-editor will (of course!) start wanting to tweak it... <3
The poor demon...
The poor demon...
-- Daphne Xu
Well...
This demon really hadn't taken proper care and consideration with his diet, and had swallowed something that really and truly disagreed with him and his various life choices. :)
Spot on, Seraph!
I liked the extended metaphor, but the pith of tonsils on the chalkboard is — IMO — even better. :)
Emma
I have never made a memorable metaphor
its just one more way that shows I am a duffer compared to some of the authors here
A duffer? Scarcely!
I’ve written heaps over the years and seldom used metaphors. In legal writing they can be devastatingly effective, but you need to be extremely careful in deploying them. I probably focus on them more now because fiction allows me to be more playful in my writing. With apologies to Gelett Burgess,
But now I can indulge to my heart’s content and leave the sad behind. :)
Emma
So I guess my commentary on my character's commentary is then...
In fairness, this bit from my story "My Uncle Fifi" isn't really a metaphor so much as a commentary about a metaphor.
A metametaphor, if you will. :)
---
Terry looked at them suspiciously. "What are you suggesting?"
The woman sat at the table and looked Terry in the eyes. "Mr. Riley, we've been trying to get someone on the inside of Lucius Delgado's organization for years, without success. We've tried undercover agents, informants, surveillance equipment, but nothing's ever worked. That man is my white whale, Mr. Riley. I've been after him for years. But then, today, out of the clear blue, he starts fawning over YOU. I have no idea why, but you're our best chance to get close to him. You help us take him down, and you get your life back."
"Ooh, tempting? But I'm gonna have to go with--hmm. Hey, what's a more emphatic rejection than 'No fucking way'?"
"Mr. Riley--"
"Look, Ahab, my Melville is a little rusty, but as I recall, it didn't end up so great for the people who went up against the whale."
"I told you not to go with the whale metaphor," Adams interjected.
That’s so you, Jenny!
Putting the “meta” back in metaphor! On top of which, I absolutely can’t resist Moby Dick references. Love it!
Emma
Agreement
I agree with D. Eden in saying that Bailey Summers is one of the more prolific authors in writing metaphors (i.e. Tilting at Windmills).
Is Writing the Oldest Profession???
Your blog proves once again that sex and violins sells.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Hey girl...
Is that character development you have in your pocket or are you just glad to show rather than tell?
Love, Andrea Lena
Zing!
Well played, Ms. DiMaggio!
Emma
No, writing is not the oldest profession
It's only an illusion, because one feels very old when bumping into writer's block.
And Emma has more strings on her bow than you mentioned.
Thanks, Bru.
Love you, too!
Emma
Probably need a base to round out your trio.
Otherwise, your sax and violin may miss a beat. :)
Emma
Isn't that a baseless assumption?
.
Violin
... soprano clarinet, four-valve flugelhorn, and baritone sax might make a nice quartet.
-- Daphne Xu
If I have to contribute something
this is as as good as anything else
I made my famous impersonation of a port navigation light.
From "C" (that recently passed C kudos)
What kind of metaphor...
... is this?
"Vlad was not a big guy but the words `Deadly menace' metaphorically hung above his head."
-- Daphne Xu
Made you blush!
Well, your character, anyway!
Emma
Not a story
I read an article once that talked about how obtuse a politician was.
"He grabbed onto ignorance like a pit bull grabs onto a mailman's leg"
Love, Andrea Lena
Worrisome
Literally. Because it’s true of so many politicians. :(
Emma
Cheer up!
Here's one from Pete's Vagina, metaphorically speaking.
The Bulldogs' cheerleaders were bouncing around urging their guys on against our Lions. “Bite’em! Bulldogs! Mow them Lawns!”
:)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Polite bulldogs
I mean, most bulldogs I know would be more likely to piss on a lawn rather than mow it. I kind of like the mental picture of a bulldog pulling a mower like an ox hitched to a plow . . . . :)
Emma
Cheer up
That line reminded me of an old (very old) joke:
One day when I was feeling down someone told me "Cheer up, things could be worse".
So I cheered up and of course things got worse.
Gotta Get Down And Dirty Here
Like being bitten on the bum by a horsefly.
Ouch!
Literally and metaphorically!!!
Emma
I know I must have use metaphors in my writing.
What fiction writer hasn't? Our job as authors it to paint a mental picture for the reader. But you know, I can't think of a single one at the moment or even since this blog went up.
There is one I often use in RL. I replace the tire old "I'm all over it like white on rice" with "I'm all over it like ugly on an ape."
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
Love it!
:)
Emma
My favorite has always been…….
Like stink on shit.
I had a non-com that used that one all the time.
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
What metaphor are you most proud of, from which story?
Here are a few items that come to mind.
Quote: "There are 'women' here but there are no females."
Story: Adventures of Sara: Evolving deeper into femininity
Quote: "Is it odd of me to desire sodomy?"
Story: Donna Goes Down Under: she meets her Girlfriends in Sydney
Quote: "You can keep your job if you are man enough to be a woman…”
Story: Blackmailed into being a woman: Are you man enough to be a woman for me?
I hope I grasped what the question is!
Donna T
Donna
Tornado
"A tornado in a junkyard assembling a Boeing 747" -- does this describe evolution or flood geology?
-- Daphne Xu