Synchronicity A Tale of Transformation A Transgender Novelette By Tara Nicole Miller Copyright © 2024 Tara Nicole Miller All Rights Reserved. Word Count 14,150

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I lay in my four-poster bed, cuddled within my gorgeous rose-colored satin sheets, reading “The Synchronicity Key” on my Kindle Oasis for the third time and “The Source Field Investigations” for the fifth. They were massive tomes, as were the other titles in the David Wilcock opus, but I couldn’t get enough of any of them. The idea that the universe is, at its most basic essence, a flow of energy and consciousness was just entirely intriguing, it thrilled me to my core. It felt so true and so right. But we couldn’t see it with our earthly eyes. And thus, wouldn’t believe it. Just like the fact that I knew I was a girl in my most basic essence, truly and rightly, but nobody could see it. All they could see was a poor excuse of a boy, a mask, an act not all that convincing.

I had begun two years ago changing everything around me in hopes that it would somehow make me feel better about being stuck in this horrid body. I’d never had the nerve to come straight out and tell my parents that I’m a girl (not since I was four, anyway), and they’re too wrapped up in their careers and type A personalities to notice me at all, let alone the world around me that was becoming distinctly more feminine despite the fact that my body wasn’t.

I had already gone through most of puberty, hopefully, but for some reason (maybe those prayers I had assumed were going unanswered?) I hadn’t changed all that much. I was still only 5’5”. My voice had lowered slightly, so now it was in the range of Scarlett Johansson rather than Minnie Mouse. My hair was darkening just slightly as well, from its nearly platinum blonde to just a pretty medium blonde with cool platinum highlights. I actually like the new me much better than the old one. Except I hadn’t grown any of the curves I’d been praying for, the breasts, the hips, the butt. Nor had I lost the greatest curve the universe has ever thrown a girl, the penis annoyingly dangling between my thighs. It was pretty small, but it still ticked me off no end. Essentially, I looked like a prepubescent girl with an enlarged clitoris, pardon my French. But my parents, and the story they had told the world when I was born, were hanging on to the illusion of a boy.

But, even to me, the illusion was convincing enough to push me to the precipice of suicide three times in the past. In spite of that, being a magical thinker, I’ve been able to convince myself that there is still a chance that I could become outwardly the girl that I was inwardly. All things considered, I guess things could be worse. Much worse. I could be a big hairy Neanderthal with mean and suffocating evangelical parents. But I was decidedly girly and my parents were very liberal in their views, though I still feared their response once they figured out what was going on. Or I ever got the courage to come straight out with it. We were also quite wealthy and I had a healthy debit account which was added to every month. So, things could definitely be worse.

But it was often hard to think of my blessings, just having had my sweet sixteen with no party. My parents totally forgot it was my birthday and I didn’t have any friends to speak of anyway, except for Amanda next door. She’s been my best (only) friend since we were born. She threw a “party” for me in her basement. “Basement” was a misnomer too, because it was really a 2000 square foot state-of-the-art home theater with all the bells and whistles. The wall-sized TV displayed every new release rom-com available through Prime Video, Netflix, et al. The fridge was loaded with all of our favorite sodas, and the popcorn cart continuously emitted the intoxicating aroma of buttery, theatery popcorn.

We were both giggling, I on the couch with my size sixes on the coffee table, she in a modified lotus position on the floor painting my toenails a sparkly pink. She stopped, leaned on my legs and stared up into my eyes. “Amber? When are you going to tell them?” Amber was the name I decided should have been on my birth certificate, so Amanda used it whenever we were alone. While my real name is unisex, we really didn’t think “Terry” suited me. I was too much of a girly girl for that, she said.

“The real question is, why haven’t they figured it out yet? Why haven’t they said anything?” I whined back.

“Maybe they’re waiting for you?”

“I doubt they even notice I’m there most of the time. Mandy, I don’t think I’ve even had a hug in two years.” More whining eked out of my constricted throat as a single tear trickled down my cheek. Suddenly I was glad we had used waterproof makeup.

“Oh my god, you poor thing! Come here!” She got up and spread her arms as I leaned forward into them, full-on sobs choking out with waterfalls pooling in the nook of my collarbones. Really glad we used waterproof makeup! “I have just the thing to mend a broken heart, and no, I don’t mean ice cream or chocolate.” We both giggled. Then I hiccuped and we both broke out in peals of laughter. “Slumber party!”

“But we always sleep over.” I pointed out.

She rolled her eyes. “I mean, I will invite the rest of the cheer squad and we’ll have a regular girly girl super slumber party!” She was practically bouncing off the walls.

My mouth hung open for a moment. “But nobody else knows about me, how…?”

She gave me a look that said “oh, puh-lease!” “Amber, are you kidding me with this? Everybody knows!”

“What?”

“Well, you haven’t really been hiding it very well, have you? You really suck at the whole boy thing, truth be told.” She winked at me.

My mouth fell open again. “Everybody?” She nodded vigorously. “No, I’m sure they just think I’m an effeminate gay or something.”

“No, really, they don’t! I promise you.” She looked at me earnestly and then a bit nervously it seemed.

“Why would anyone go straight to girl, bypassing gay? It doesn’t make any sense.” I reasoned.

“Well, maybe the fact that your hair brushes your ass is one indication? If you didn’t use the boy’s bathroom, I don’t think anyone would have had a clue that you were a boy.” She looked at me wide eyed and mine widened with her.

I gave her a little smile. “Really? Wow. That’s actually really cool. You know, about that, the principal recently told me to use the faculty restroom.”

“Really, why?”

“Well, because 90% of the time I get the crap beat out of me, it’s while I’m in the bathroom. I always try to wait till nobody’s in there, but it seems like somebody always comes in on me, or was in a stall, or something. I really hoped it would be okay. But things started to get worse this year.”

“Worse? How could things get worse?” Mandy grabbed my hand. “And what did you hope would be okay?”

“What I was doing.” I began. “I decided, how long’s it been now? Almost two years ago, to start wearing girl things, subtle things, a little at a time to, you know, not raise any suspicions. To not freak people…”

“You began transitioning.” She said matter of factly.

“Trans what now?”

“You’ve never heard about transitioning? You, of all people?” She gave me a wry smile.

“Um, no. What is it? I mean, I know the basic general definition, but what does it have to do with me?”

“Oh, my god!” She laughed. “For being the smartest girl, the smartest human being, I’ve ever known, you can be pretty clueless sometimes.” I just looked down at my nails. They were really pretty. “Trangendered persons, transsexuals,” She indicated me with the wave of an upturned palm, and I figured out what those words meant on my own, what with my knowledge of Latin and all, “go through what they call ‘transitioning’ when they begin outwardly changing from the gender assumed by their birth sex to their true gender. That’s what you’ve been doing.”

I demurely looked up at her. “I didn’t even know it had a name. I was just trying to feel better about things, about me, my life.” Then I stared at her for a moment. “There are other people like me?”

“Of course there are. Believe me, you’re not alone. And how the heck can you not know about this?”

“Why do you?” I retorted.

“I open my eyes. I live, I watch TV, I talk to people, and not least of all, I’m fascinated by you!”

“Oh. Well. I don’t do any of that, I guess. Certainly not the fascination bit.”

“Wow, you really are deprived, aren’t you?” The irony of that wasn’t lost on me as I sat there wearing my new Prada outfit. I took the stilettos off so Amanda could do my nails. I have a T-shirt at home that cost $1000 for god’s sake! But it is really soft and drapes so perfectly…so, don’t judge me too harshly.

But, I didn’t smile at the irony. Or at my gorgeous shoes. I just started crying. And Amanda hugged me again. She whispered, “and I’ve already told you the cure. Let me send a group text to the squad and see when we can all get together for that slumber party. When are you free?” She grinned and winked at me.

“Very funny!” I stuck my tongue out at her and pouted.

*

I put my book down and closed my eyes. Then I asked Alexa what time it was. 4:00pm, she says. I have to be at Mandy’s in an hour. She told me to do only minimal makeup and not to be too fancy with my hair. She said I would see why later. “Alexa, play ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons.” The house began to shake with the deep bass as I began to shake my booty over to the vanity I had delivered a few weeks ago from Amazon. I don’t know what took me so long, it’s so much easier to do my makeup now!

I didn’t shower, since I’d had one this morning. I’m not an active person, and I don’t really do the whole going outside thing, so I never got sweaty or disheveled or anything. So I just brushed a little powder on my face, and some darker eyeshadow; I added one more coat of mascara and chose a little darker lipstick than the nude color I wear for everyday. Okay, a lot darker. I thought I looked pretty cute, considering. Then I just brushed out my hair and let it flow loose down my back.

Mandy said to just wear leggings and a t-shirt (not the Prada, she says!) and maybe ballet flats or just a pair of trainers. She said to bring pajamas, both a sexy pair and a cute pair. And to wear a bra if I had one. Of course I have one. What, am I new? And bring one stuffed animal. I’ll bring Geordie, my bear with the nightcap on, holding a little pillow in his arms. I can’t sleep without him. I know I’m too old for it, but it’s comforting. So sue me.

I threw my bunny slippers in my string bag as well, cos I like to be a little quirky sometimes. She didn’t say to, but I also decided to bring my makeup case, because I have tons of stuff I can share and also I want my own of those things you’re not supposed to share. Hey, I’ve watched movies with Amanda for a long time, so I have an idea that we’ll be doing makeovers tonight. Well, I’m hoping, anyway. My parents weren’t home yet, as per usual, so I just locked the doors and wandered over to Mandy’s.

I was the first girl there, so I could help Mandy and her mom set up for the party. Her mom is so cool. She heard Mandy call me Amber one time and she just immediately switched over from Terry to Amber. So, that was weird, but also mega cool. She has never said a word or questioned me or anything. I don’t get it, but I’m certainly not gonna complain. She’s known me almost as long as my own parents have, but I guess she’s a bit more intuitive than they are. Or she just notices the obvious, unlike some people I could name. Whatever.

Then the other girls started arriving. Each one had a wrapped package in her hand and each one said to me “happy sweet sixteen Amber!” and gave me a hug before bouncing down the stairs. I was in shock, to say the least. I don’t know how long it was before I got my jaw up off the floor. I looked over at Mandy and she just smiled and winked at me.

“What’s happening?” I whispered to Mandy.

She whispered back, “I know it’s belated, by a week, but we all thought you deserved a kick-ass sweet sixteen. You only turn sixteen once, after all.” She winked again. “Come on.” She grabbed my arm and dragged me downstairs.

She fired up “Believer” for me and the entire house shook. She didn’t play the music video because she knows I hate it, but she also knows that “Believer” is like one of my theme songs. It used to be “I Dreamed a Dream” by the Glee Cast, but that’s too somber for me these days. We all began dancing and Mandy bounced right in front of me. “Happy sweet sixteen bestie!” She yelled over the music. Then she gave me a big long hug until the next song in the queue began, then danced away to the beat of “Thunder” by, you guessed it, Imagine Dragons.

After that, she played the playlist of our favorite songs, featuring Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Jax. “Victoria’s Secret” began playing and all the girls started pulling off their bras. I totally got the meaning, but I really didn’t want to take mine off. I think they probably understood why. But they all began chanting “take it off, take it off!” Mandy came over with a little smile and whispered. “It’s okay, they all know you’re a late bloomer. We’ve all been there. Besides, you’ll have to take it off before bed anyway.” Couldn’t I wait till then? My eyes beseeched her. But, she can read my mind. She said, “please? I promise it’s okay.” So, off it came. I flung it on the sofa to a chorus of cheers and I just blushed.

The pizzas arrived a little after seven and Mandy’s mom brought them down to us. She set them all down on the bar, then handed me the vegetarian pizza. Am I the only vegetarian here? Ovopiscetarian is the proper term for my type. Whatever, but why hand it to me? I set it down on the coffee table and opened it up. There was an envelope that said “Virgin” on it. Is this some kind of a joke? An innuendo, not so subtle? I frowned and opened it anyway. There was a plane ticket in it from Virgin Airways - Ah, so, it wasn’t a joke. I breathed a sigh of relief and the redness of my embarrassment drained from my face. Mandy’s mom was still there, now facing me on the other side of the table. I looked up at her with a confused expression.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked, with a look of concern on her face.

“I…don’t understand.” I answered.

“Well, what does it say?”

“I think it’s a ticket to Cairo on…December 16th? Why? What’s it for? Is it real?” I was really quite confused and rambling.

“Of course it’s real, sweetie. But, don’t worry, you’re not going alone. I asked your parents and we, Amanda’s father and I, are taking you and Mandy to Egypt over Christmas break.”

Mandy chimed in, “I sorta told them that you’re obsessed with like the ancient Egyptians and the pyramids and stuff.”

I just nodded blankly. Then I came out of my fugue state and ran over to Mandy’s mom, giving her a great big hug. “Oh my god, Mrs. Jamison, I - I can’t believe it! This is amazing! Thank you! Thank you so much!” Mandy came over and joined in the hug. She whispered, “we’re gonna have so much fun!” I nodded and smiled and continued to stare at the ticket as I plopped down on the reclining sofa. Oooh, so mushy.

Mandy fired up the karaoke machine and she and I, Tamara and Ginny sang a couple of Spice Girls songs together. As “Wanna Be” was wrapping up, Mandy looked at me seemingly awestruck about something.

“What is it?” I inquired.

“Oh my god Amber, your voice is amazing!”

“What? No. I mean, how could you tell anyways, what with singing something so silly and fun? Doesn’t really take much of a voice, I wouldn’t think.” I was blushing hard and backpedaling harder.

“Oh stop it!” Mandy pushed my shoulder. She looked around and said “can this girl sing, or what?! Who wants to hear her do Adele?” Cheers went up.

Mandy couldn’t have known it, but I had discovered a few months ago that my sultry new voice was nicely suited to Adele songs. I of course only sang them in the privacy of my own bedroom. It never crossed my mind that I was actually any good. I blushed again as Mandy pushed me to the front and I realized I would be singing solo in front of twelve other girls. The most popular girls in the school, and I am just…well, me. She pulled up the Adele playlist and said “pick one!”

I tucked my long blonde hair behind my ear and leaned in to see the screen, getting redder all the time. Am I really going to do this? I could just say the pizza didn’t agree and run to the bathroom, or home, or to Kazakhstan. Instead, with a shaky finger, I tapped on “Easy on Me.” As the piano intro began, I slowly wandered to the microphone, keeping my head tilted down, my hair hanging forward as I grabbed the mic with both hands. I closed my eyes and began softly. When I got to the chorus “Go easy on me…” I looked up and into the eyes of Amanda. We were both crying. I looked at each of the girls in turn as I sang the chorus. They all stood stunned, swaying, some with tears glistening in their eyes.

When the song ended, I hung my head, then looked up through my lashes sheepishly and I could see twelve girls approaching with arms out. It was the biggest group hug ever as we all sobbed. Then Amanda, in all her wisdom, said “hey! This is supposed to be a party, right? And I don’t mean a pity party!” She tapped on “You need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift and the room got silly, but Amanda just grabbed me and held me for nearly the entire song. She whispered in my ear. “You’re amazing. Thank you for being my friend.”

“Okay! I think we all need to fix our makeup now, thanks to this one.” Amanda lightly shoved my shoulder. “What do you think, makeover time?” A chorus of “Yeah”s and variations thereof chimed around the room.

It seemed like they all considered me their Barbie doll, because they all wanted a hand in my transformation. None of them had seen me all dolled up and it seemed they were pretty excited by the idea. Instead of everybody working on everybody else all at the same time, they focused on me, first doing my makeup, then my hair, then they even wanted to dress me! “But all I brought are jammies,” I whined.

“Jammies.” Amanda imitated me. “You are so cute! Let me go get something from my closet. BRB!”

Of course, it had to be a dress, but I wasn’t going to complain. I loved wearing dresses, but Mandy and her mom were the only ones allowed to see me in one up to this point. My nerves had gone and I was just embarrassed at all the attention being lavished on me. She held up a gorgeous Dolce & Gabbana dress with one hand and held a pair of Manolo Blahnik stilettos in the other. She had a pair of nude hose draped over her shoulder and a massive smile upon her adorable face. I blushed. “Now, these are strictly for dress-up, or going to the country club. We really need to take you slumming some time.”

“Slumming?” Confused much?

“Yeah. Teen girls don’t wear all the stuff like Prada and D&G. You look like a 29 year old super model in your clothes.”

“Is that so bad?” I wondered.

“If you want to fit in? We need to get you to AE, Hollister, A&F.” American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch. I knew the names - but I told her I preferred Guess, if we were going that route. “Guess? No! Say it ain’t so!”

“What’s wrong with Guess? Their stuff is really cute!” I was perplexed.

“They’re just so…too… perfect, too sweet, too girly girl!” She wasn’t making any sense to me now.

“Do you realize that you’ve called me precisely those three things, just this week?” I had her there.

“You’ve got me there, I guess.” She’s reading my mind again. I giggled. “Maybe you can pull it off. Not many girls can. Whatever. Let’s have some fun!”

Amanda put on “Made You Look” by Meghan Trainor and I smiled. Anonymous hands flew, removing my top and leggings, then I heard a gasp and they all seemed to freeze in place. Thank god I had snuck my bra back on when I went to the bathroom. Then murmurs and squeals began. “Oh my god, where did you get them, they’re gorgeous!” Fingers slid around and under my lace bra and panties, admiringly, gasping. Phew! I thought they were going to focus on my silicone enhancers, or those tucked bits between my legs.

“Just Vickies,” I said, nonchalantly. “Nowhere special, I promise.” I blushed for the thousandth time this evening.

“Victoria’s Secret? I haven’t seen those there!” Tammy whined.

“They’re new.” I said. “Can I please get dressed now?” Everybody laughed as Amanda lifted the dress above my head.

“Careful, we don’t want to muss her makeup!” Amanda ordered. Then “Wow! Wait, okay, shoes!”

I slipped into the “Manny’s” and began to strut expertly as if on a catwalk, kicking out my hip as I turned.

“What the fuck! She’s hotter than all of us combined!” Tammy blurted.

“No shit! Not fair!” Gina added.

Loads of giggles followed as we all began to work on all the other girls. I was glad to get the attention off me, but that was kinda cool, I have to admit.

When it was time for pajamas, I felt I had no choice but to cheat. I went into the bathroom and replaced my lacy bra with a soft bralette, so I could keep my enhancers in. I didn’t want to be flat in a room full of curvaceous cheerleaders. That would be way too embarrassing. We were then all told to place our bras on our sleeping bags. “What’s that about?” I asked.

“You’ll see.” Amanda replied. Okay, whatever.

Everybody grabbed a popcorn and a soda and took up their positions around the room. Then Amanda began what was supposed to be a playlist of chick flicks to play on into the night. The intro to “The Crying Game” began and I screamed, red faced. “That is so not funny!” I slapped Amanda on the leg, then I dove on her and began tickling her. Then all the others girls joined in, seemingly taking the embarrassing moment in good humor. Ooh, Good Humor. “Amanda, you got ice cream?” I giggled.

She just said, “duh!” and ran to the freezer, pulling out thirteen half-pints of Haagen Dazs and thirteen spoons.

I grabbed the chocolate/chocolate chip, laid down against the foot of the sofa and began moaning. “Oh my god, this is soooo good. Mmmm…”

“I think she’s having an orgasm!” Amanda blurted as she bounced into her spot next to me.

I gasped and leaned my shoulder into her, whispering loudly, “I hate you!”

“No you don’t. You love me!”

“Yeah.” I conceded, smiling and dipping back into my orgasmic ice cream.

Okay. I saw what the bra thing was all about around one A.M. when Loren began snoring over by the bar. Mandy put her finger to her lips and tip-toed over to pick up Loren’s bra. She ran it under the the tap in the bar, then placed it in the freezer.

“Oh my god, that’s so mean.” I whispered, when Mandy came back to lay next to me.

“Hey. She knew the rules. She fell asleep first. Not my fault.” Amanda resumed her position snuggled up to me. I set Geordie on her belly and she giggled. We whispered into the night. Amanda asked, “I noticed you shaved your bikini area. Did you know what was going to happen?”

“No. I had no clue.” I told her. “But I didn’t shave.” She looked confused. “I get laser treatments now and again to keep up with any stray hairs. Under my arms, too, look.” I showed her.

“Oh my gosh,” she whispered, running her fingers under my arms. Oh my, that tickled. “What a great idea. I never knew. Can I go with next time, please?”

“Of course,” I smiled.

“You get your face done, too, I suppose.” She continued.

“Nope. This smooth baby’s bottom is all natural, thank god.” I ran my fingers over my cheek and winked at her.

“That is lucky. But, what if your luck runs out? I mean, you still have boy bits, right?” She blushed.

I blushed back, one-upping her. “Yeah. I guess I am pushing my luck, aren’t I? You know more about this transition stuff than I do, weirdly enough. So, what do I do?”

“As I understand it, you get an androgen blocker first, and then you follow that up with female hormones, some kind of estrogen.” She looked at me earnestly. “But you need a doctor. Thus, you need to tell your parents.”

I tensed up. “I suppose. Isn’t there another way? I’m hoping?”

“Not legal, or safe. Just tell them. I doubt they could very well be surprised.”

“You don’t know how they are.” I whined. “You think I’m clueless…They’re the poster children, I swear.” Amanda nudged me.

“I’ve got an idea.” She says. Oh no, not another idea. Although it’s all been pretty cool so far.

She reassured me, then we decided to get some sleep.

After breakfast, before the girls left for their Saturdays, they decided to Barbie me up again. All part of the plan, Amanda says. I thought it was probably best as I didn’t want to go through any real masculine pubertal surprises. I was pushing my luck already. They didn’t turn me into a runway model again. Just a pretty high school girl. Amanda talked me into wearing her cheer uniform. Didn’t take much coaxing really. “Oh my god! You need to join the squad, girl! You look so hot!” Gina teased.

“Please. Even I know there’s more to cheerleading than just the skirt! I’ve practiced with Amanda a few times and I so know it’s not that easy!” I looked so earnest that Gina laughed at me. I also thought how they all seemed like gymnasts, too, and how that would be a great way for me to finally get some exercise. I’ll have to look up somewhere that I can learn gymnastics. Might be fun. I smiled.

“Well, keep practicing. Maybe next year. I’m serious. We’d all love you there, wouldn’t we?” Gina looked around to a chorus of agreement and nodding heads.

I whispered to Amanda, “They do know about me, right?” She just nodded, smiling.

*

Okay. So this was all part of the plan. I walked across the cool mid-August grass and through my front door. I could hear mom and dad in the kitchen. Will miracles never cease? What, no work today? I walked slowly toward the kitchen and took a deep breath before peeking around the corner. They were sharing coffee and working on the New York Times crossword puzzle. My New York Times crossword puzzle. How dare they? Wait. Focus, Amber.

I sauntered in and went to the fridge, pretending to get something out. “Good morning Mommy, Daddy. Don’t forget I have practice today.” I turned around with a juice box and tried to pop the straw through the top. Gawd, not easy, you try it! They both looked up for a moment, then went back to their puzzle.

“Morning, sweetie.” That was all they said. Mom took a sip of her coffee and pointed at the puzzle.

“Seriously? That’s all you have to say?” I squeaked.

“Hah! We’re just funnin’ ya. Come here! You look so cute! Doesn’t she look cute, hon?” Mom glanced at my dad.

“You do! When did you join cheerleading? Why didn’t you tell us?” Dad seemed serious.

I stood with my mouth agape. Mom said, “Close your mouth dear. It’s not ladylike. Was there something on your mind?” She looked serious, too. What was happening?

“Um, how long have you known? Why did you never say anything?” I whined. I was good at whining.

Mom stood up and began, “Well, this is new.” Waving a hand over me. “But we’ve always thought you being girly was just, well, you! But we’ve never seen the full you, have we? Till now, that is.” She winked.

“So, are you okay with it? What does this all mean? I mean, I’m really confused, because I thought I had to hide. I’ve been a wreck. I’ve been doing this all alone!” More very good whining on my part.

“Yes, of course we’re okay with it. I work for the ACLU every Friday, you know. And working with kids like you, I guess I should have known better. I should have been there for you. I am so so sorry sweetie. Can you forgive me?”

I stared for a good ten seconds. “Yeah. I guess so. I mean, of course I forgive you, but you’ve never been around; you never talk to me. Not really. I thought you didn’t care.”

“Everything we do, all the work we do is because we care and we want to give you a good life. I guess we’ve just been really stupid, practically narcissistic in our goal oriented behavior. Did we pick the wrong goals? God!” Mom began crying. I ran into her arms. She hugged me tight and whispered. “We just thought the hands-off approach might be good for you. I mean you do get perfect grades and I’ve never seen you do anything wrong, so we thought it was working.”

I backed up and began to cry. “Working!? I’ve felt like I’ve been living alone and nobody cared about me! You’ve never been to my school and I’ve been beat up like 97 times in two years! Hands off?!” I laughed and choked and sobbed and sat down hard with my head in my hands. My makeup had to be a wreck now.

Mom’s hand flew to her mouth. Mom and dad both stood up, now with their mouths agape. “97 times?” My dad whispered. “Amber, sweetie, why didn’t you tell us? We never knew. The school never called, did they hon?” He looked at mom and she shook her head.

“They never…? Wait. Did you say ‘Amber?’ How did you know about that?” I puzzled.

“Amanda called this morning. That’s actually why we made sure to stay put. That’s how we knew to play dumb.” Dad smiled.

“You guys suck, you know that?” I went in for the hug.

Mom whispered into my ear, “sorry about your crossword.” I just smiled and hugged tighter. “Come on, let’s go talk.” She led me out into the garden. It was still blooming wildly and was gorgeous in the morning sun. We sat in the wicker loungers.

“I wish I woulda known you guys would be okay with this, I woulda done this a lot sooner.” I spoke softly.

“Done what sweetie?” Dad asked.

“This.” I said, standing up, indicating my outfit. “I coulda gone full out girly girl a long time ago. Instead, I’ve been hiding in the closet.”

“Hardly hiding.” Mom said. “True, you’ve not gone full out, and I’m sorry, but we’ve known you were girly. Well, very girly. And we love that about you.” Mom looked pensive. “You know, I’ve represented several trans girls over the years. Do you know what you are? How far you want to go with this?”

“Of course I know. I’ve always known. I’m a girl. But until last week, I didn’t know there was anything I could do about it, other than pretend.” I lowered my head.

“There’s a lot that can be done about it. What has Amanda told you? Would you like to do something about it now?” Mom leaned in.

“Yes, please.” I whispered.

*

Mom, being a lawyer, knew what to do and things became a whirlwind. It was now just one week until school started for my junior year, but she was determined to get it all sorted so I could start as Amber on the first day. I was excited and terrified, if I’m honest. She got me into the endocrinologist that Monday, somehow. Oh, and Dad, being a psychiatrist, wrote the referral (is that even kosher?). I realize how lucky I am in this regard. Most girls would have to wait ages for all this stuff, but my parents knew how long I had been this way, so had no qualms whatsoever making it happen. So I got an estrogen shot in my butt and started the androgen blocker that night (they had to be bending some rules, right?). The endo said it was unusual to do it this way, but since the tests came out good, he didn’t seem to think there would be any problems. That Friday, I was already in a courtroom getting my name changed to Amber. Can you see me smiling? Well, I am.

Mom drove me and Amanda to school the following Monday. Mom told me how upset she was that I already had a complete wardrobe, as she would have loved to have gone shopping with her daughter. Oh well, it was her own fault for never talking to me! And giving me a massive debit card balance with access to Amazon, among other online stores, like Dolce, et al. Ooh, and thredUP! So, she took me into the office and I said goodbye to Amanda as she went to our first class. We had creative writing together. I know, cool, right?

The principal seemed relieved that all we wanted to do was change my name and, oh yes, my gender marker. She seemed pleased to do so, as now I could use the girls’ restroom. She didn’t even bat an eye at my new look. She knew me all too well by now. Perhaps she thought all this would lead to fewer bullying incidents. Hope springs eternal. But, I sure didn’t expect the bruising to slow down any. Mrs. Bryant gave me a hall pass and six copies of the record change notification, with an explanatory cover letter. I was to give one to each teacher on my schedule.

Since I was a half-hour late for my first class, roll had already been called. After I handed Mrs. Simonds the papers, she addressed the class. “Class, this is Amber.” “Hi Amber,” half the class responded. The other half were too stunned.

I shrugged my shoulders and said “I got sick of Terry,” with a little smile. There we a few laughs at that.

“Go ahead and take your seat, dear.” Mrs. Simonds said, then returned to the lesson.

There were a few whispers and a couple giggles, but all in all, that went pretty well. I sat next to Amanda and we both smiled to each other. She said, “that went well.”

I whispered back, “that’s just what I was thinking.” And I let out a huge breath of relief.

After class, Amanda and I strolled to our lockers. Admin had finally put us right next to each other. So she always had my back. As we got close, some guy said “hey, faggot, how come you don’t visit us in the boys’ bathroom anymore?”

Amanda was quick with a retort: “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Too little to see in there, though! And I mean little!” She said crooking her pinkie at him. He just flushed and stormed off.

“Wow, that was pretty cool of you. Quick thinking, too. I was never good at comebacks.” I smiled at her.

“Well, you’re gonna have to learn. That’s one of the sharpest arrows in a girl’s quiver.” She said with a wink.

“God, I kinda wish I never had to go to the bathroom before. That’s just really set me up hasn’t it?”

“Not much you coulda done about it. A girl’s gotta pee. It’ll work out, you’ll see.” She winked again. I never realized what a winker she was. Don’t her eyelid muscles get sore?

“I wish I had your confidence, Mandy.”

“You’ll get there. C’mon gorgeous, we’ll be late.”

*

Amanda and I only saw each other at our lockers between classes until lunch time. We walked into the cafeteria and I began going over to my regular table to eat alone in the corner, with the kids that don’t speak English (I think they may have been Vietnamese, but I can’t be sure) at the other end of the table. I always enjoyed listening to their unusual sing-song speech. Not much else to do sitting there for half an hour by myself. But Amanda grabbed my arm. “Now that you’ve met the girls, I think it’s time you joined us, don’t you?”

“Um,” was all I could think to say. I can be pretty eloquent at times.

Amanda announced, “Hey, look who’s finally gonna join the cool table!” Gina smiled and scooched over one seat so Amanda and I could sit together.

“It’s about time. Glad you finally rid yourself of those cooties, Amber.” Tammy winked and smiled. “You did, didn’t you?” She feigned an earnest expression.

It didn’t take long for the conversation to get onto what I assume was a normal tack. General gossip, then boys. “So, who do you like, Amber? Are you going with anybody?” Jessica asked while popping a french fry into her mouth.

Amanda elbowed me and gave me a sly grin. “Tell her. Enquiring minds want to know.”

I blushed. “I don’t know. David Keller is pretty nice. He’s in my calculus class.”

“Oooh. Is he cute?” Amanda prodded.

“You take calculus?” Gina yelped with a stunned expression.

“Yes to both,” I said, blushing. I don’t know which revelation embarrassed me more.

“Yes, she takes calculus. And physics. My girl is wicked smart, aren’t you, Amber?” Amanda nudged me again. All this teasing is gonna give me a complex, I thought. But, it’s way better than being alone trying to decipher Vietnamese or whatever.

“Fuck calculus! Tell us about Da-vid.” Jessica sang at me with a wicked grin.

Wow, she just swore! That’s kinda cool, I thought. “We sit at the same table. He’s kinda got that messy kinda hair that he sometimes has to brush out of his eyes. It’s so adorable.” I blushed. “He’s pretty smart, but he still asks me for my help sometimes. I kinda like that.”

“I bet you do!” Jess winked. “So, have you gone out?” She nonchalantly popped another fry in her mouth.

I dropped my head. “No, I’ve never been on a date.”

“With anyone? Ever?”

“With anyone. Ever.” I started to cry and Amanda gave me a hug. That line of inquiry seemed to lose some steam then, thank god. But, I must say, that was the best lunch period in the history of lunch periods! I left with a smile on my lips and in my heart. I was now heading to my newly infamous calculus class. I smiled again.

First, the girls dragged me into the girls’ room and made me check my makeup. Oh. Even with waterproof makeup I had a bit of a racoon thing going on. I guess it wasn’t tear-proof. Amanda then whispered at me. “Hurry if you have to pee and don’t forget to sit.”

I whispered back, “I’ve been sitting to pee my whole life, silly.”

“Oh,” is all she said. Finally it was her turn to blush.

After all the talk about David at lunch, I was kinda looking forward to seeing him. I started to get butterflies, with a few locusts thrown in. I paused at the door to the AP Calculus class and took a deep breath. I sat next to David and gave him a little sideways peek through my bangs. He was staring at me, then he blushed and opened his text book.

Roll call came, and when I responded to Amber, David stared again. “Amber?” He whispered. I just nodded demurely. “I like it,” he said, “it suits you.”

I just smiled and said “thanks.”

“How was your summer?” He asked me. This was new. He usually only talked to me about math stuff. “By the way, you look really pretty today.”

I gave him a little smile and blushed, looking back down at my nails.

He continued. “Your nails look really pretty, too. I like the color, and those little stars are cool.” I think he was blushing again.

“Thanks,” I finally responded. “My summer was kinda boring. How ‘bout you?”

He told me about his summer until Mr. Janofski cleared his throat to quieten us down to begin class. When class ended, David touched my forearm, sending shivers from my solar plexus to my pelvis. “See you tomorrow, Amber.”

“Yeah, um, see you tomorrow.” I gulped. “David.” I stayed, glued to my chair, as I watched David’s fine behind walk toward the door. He turned, gave me a little smile, then exited.

“Amber?” Mr. Janofsky woke me from my reverie.

“Yes, Mr…? Oh. Right. Bye Mr. Janofsky! Cool class.” I gave him a big smile and left. Cool class? Kill me now.

*

Mom picked up Amanda and me after school. I didn’t notice her at first, because she was in a cool new car. It was a really pretty pearlized lavender color. “Wow, somebody got lucky!” I blushed, realizing the innuendo. “Cool car, Mom!”

“Yeah, it’s a 2024 BMW M4 convertible, obviously.” She looked up, gestured with her hands, and grinned at the lack of a roof. “Do you like the color?”

“It’s gorgeous!” I enthused.

“Good.” She said, as she got up and exited her door. “Because it’s yours!” She tossed me the key fob. “Happy birthday, baby girl. Sorry it’s a little late. You don’t mind, do you?” She smiled, then put on an earnest face.

“Mind? Are you kidding me?” I squealed and ran around the car, passing mom before I stopped and turned around. I went back to give her a big hug. “Thanks Momma. This is so amazing.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I am so sorry it’s late.” I just looked up at her and smiled a liquid smile, nodding.

I continued around, hopping into the driver’s seat. “But, I haven’t driven since Drivers Ed. That’s like five months ago.” I worried.

“No worries. The way you and Amanda play those racing games, I’m sure you’re a master.” Mom smiled. I wasn’t about to tell her that I doubted the skills of MarioKart were really transferable to the real world, but, whatever.

So I just smiled back at her and adjusted the rearview mirror, taking a peek at Amanda in the backseat. She was grinning from ear-to-ear. “Mandy! Did you know about this?”

She just shook her head and said “Nope. Full speed ahead captain! Warp 5!”

“Warp 5. Engage!” I giggled.

“You two watch way too much of those star wars treks.” Mom smiled and shook her head.

Amanda and I yelled “Star Trek!” Simultaneously. “But I getta be Counsellor Troi tomorrow!” I looked at Amanda in the rear view mirror and she yelled “you got it, girl!” “Make it so!” I put on my turn signal and pulled into traffic. Wow. This is fracking awesome!

*

After I parked the car in the garage - I got the third space, my very own space! - Amanda and I jumped out and squealed our way into the house. “That was so cool!” She squeaked.

“I know!” I had to agree. We grabbed each other’s hands and jumped up and down like a couple of absolute lunatics.

Behind me, I heard “so, did you have a good day?”

I turned around, shocked. “Daddy? What are you doing home?”

“Well, I didn’t want to miss your special day. I don’t want to miss anymore special days. From now on, my little girl comes first.” He smiled down at me. Then winked at mom.

“Oh Daddy!” I grabbed him around the waist and began to cry. “Thank you, Daddy.” I whispered a sob.

He smiled and let out a wistful sigh, whispering, “Daddy’s little girl.” And he hugged me tight, a single tear trickling down his stubbled cheek.

*

That evening, I stood in front of the mirror with my top off. It had only been a week, but I wanted to see if I was getting any boobies yet. Nothing, of course. Except the bit of gynecomastia I had already. I sighed. I slipped on my pink satin cami and shorts sleep set and ran downstairs. Mom and Dad were waiting for me in front of the TV. We hadn’t watched TV together in, well, it seemed like forever. I picked Daddy first, for some reason. I crawled onto the sofa next to him and cuddled into his side. He had a musky scent that made me want to hug him. “So, what are we watching?”

“Well, it’s your day,” mom replied, “so you choose, sweetie.”

I had a blank look on my face and I realized that I don’t know anything about TV shows anymore. “Um, does anyone know what’s good these days?” We all giggled.

“How ‘bout a game, instead?” Dad offered. “What about Scrabble? Anyone?”

“Oh my god, Michael, are you serious? Amber would trounce us!” Mom looked mock horrified. Or was that real fear? I giggled.

“Well, it is her night. I think a good trouncing is the order of the day. Whaddya say?” Dad smiled at me and I jumped to run over to the game cabinet. Why we have a game cabinet, I don’t know, because I don’t remember the last time anyone around here played a board game. “Bored” game, dad used to call it. But I wasn’t gonna argue, and I did plan on trouncing them, but good.

As I laid down a 7-letter word, I asked them, “do you think I could start taking gymnastics classes? I think I could probably use the exercise.”

Mom and dad looked at me with a bit of surprise. Dad went first. “I don’t see why not, do you hon?” He looked at mom with his eyebrows raised.

“No, I think that would be great, but honestly the only time I’ve seen you exercise is when you’re playing a game on the Wii. Do you think you can do it baby?” I loved it when mom called me baby.

“Well, not sure really. But, how ‘bout this? We check to see about where and when there are classes and I take the next month to work out on our stuff downstairs? Maybe Daddy can show me how to use all that alien ware?” I giggled. We have a supremely kitted out exercise facility in the “basement” that I have never touched. I haven’t a clue what any of it is, if I’m honest. I’ve only used the pool and hot tub next door to it, separated by a glass wall. Oooh, I just realized I could have been using the pool for exercise all these years, instead of just lounging around under the sun lamps; weird. “And maybe Mommy can teach me how to swim?”

“Sure sweetie,” they said in stereo. We all giggled. Then Mom asked, “so, why the sudden interest in exercise? It’s so unlike you. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s really important for you to stay healthy. Just curious why now, I guess?”

“We-ll. You remember that slumber party I had with all the other girls?” (Gosh, how I loved being able to say ‘other girls’). They nodded. “Well, they’re all cheerleaders. We got to talking, and I know it’s not really possible with me being so out of shape. Plus, they’ve been doing cheer and gymnastics since they were little. So, I probably would never be able to actually be a cheerleader, but they were all so cool and fun and they love it so much and they wanted me to join - you guys, they actually like me, and they said I’m really pretty!” I blushed after finishing my mile-a-minute ramble.

“You’ve always been pretty.” Dad pulled me into a hug.

I pushed away to look at him. “Puh-lease! You’re just saying that because that’s what parents have to say about their kids.”

He pulled me back in. “That’s not true, I promise. I’ve always thought you were very pretty, and honestly it’s confused me, because I thought I remembered having a son the day you were born. I was so proud. But, it’s pretty obvious, I remembered wrong. And sweetie, I could not be any prouder of you and calling you my beautiful daughter.” He held me out and gave me a wan smile.

I couldn’t have been more embarrassed, so I just buried myself into him and mumbled, “I’ve really missed you Daddy.”

Mom smiled. “She’s obviously a Daddy’s girl.” I just nodded my head against his chest and let out a little whimper.

*

So Daddy had me doing mainly cardio training stuff and stretches, because he thought it was best to wait until my hormones were at a steady level for a few months before doing any weight training. But, that was cool, because I was able to go longer and longer each day on those machines. Plus, the one machine has a video screen that takes you on walks all around the world. I think I’ve walked the whole of London and Paris by now. So that’s cool. Plus the stretching has been enlightening. I was really taut at the beginning and now I can actually do the splits! I showed Amanda one day and her mouth dropped open, so that was pretty funny.

Plus, Amanda wanted to spend more time with me, so she actually got me out of the house and into the real world. We ran around the neighborhood and I was so surprised at all the big, beautiful homes and gardens, right in my own back yard, so to speak. I never really paid any attention, but we live in a really great place. It’s just gorgeous. Apparently there’s a lot of famous people that live around here, too, so that’s pretty cool, I guess.

When the weather started getting colder, Amanda and I moved back into the gym. We made sure to make it fun, so we put on our favorite work-out music videos and had smoothies and other treats to reward ourselves after. After three months I was definitely in the best shape of my life. I was even starting to get boobies, so I began wearing a sports bra. I don’t think anyone but another trans girl could ever know the excitement of that moment. I was so happy, but, honestly, I wanted it to be happening way faster.

My skin was getting even softer than I thought it was before and I was getting some change in my body fat distribution, but I could only really tell because my clothes were beginning to fit me better, being girl’s clothes and all. But that dang penis was always there to remind me and bring me down even on my best days. I could never be like a natural born girl and that made me really sad. I got pretty depressed sometimes wondering what guy would ever want me even with that thing being gotten rid of? I could never have kids, and that made me sob as much as anything. Some guy would be making a real sacrifice if he decided to fall in love with me. But that was hard to imagine at this point. Why would anyone fall in love with me? I couldn’t fathom.

I wasn’t asked to homecoming or anything, and I was really hoping that David would ask, but I couldn’t blame him. Surely he knows I’m not physically a proper girl, even if he has been flirting with me. I love that bit, btw. Dad was starting to get really worried about me with my mood swings. Maybe it was the hormones, but I knew there was more going on in my head. He now thought it was a really good idea to try to become a cheerleader next year. It’s like the girliest sport there is, after all. He thought it would help my self esteem. If I made the squad, that is.

He referred me to one of his colleagues who specializes in gender issues. He said she has a PhD and is young and really sweet and caring, so we should get along great. But, with the trip to Egypt coming, we held off on that as well as the gymnastics. But, Amanda was teaching me stuff in the meantime. So that was nice. It was hard to stay upbeat, even with the trip coming up. So I just moped my way into my now fully feminized bedroom. Even in a bad mood it made me feel better and the smallest of smiles always seemed to come unbidden to my lips. It was hard to stay pissy in here.

I plopped down on my really fluffy comforter and wiggled softly into it, grabbing my Oasis to read the next chapter in “Source Field.” It was the one about the strange experiment by a guy called Gariaev that left the energetic imprint of DNA in a quartz container even when the DNA was removed and there was nothing “physical” there. The DNA imprint stayed there for up to 30 days after the actual DNA was removed! Very cool. So, essentially, the DNA molecule stores light. I guess it’s kinda like when you fill a box with snow, even when you remove the box, the shape of the box remains for a while until the snow melts.

There were tests about growing different creatures when shining light by laser through DNA crystals in a certain way. I know I said that wrong, but it was something like that. It was all so cool and I wondered why this wasn’t all made common knowledge? So one species can be turned into another species just by shining a certain wavelength of light through the DNA? Too cool. Light could also heal, not only the DNA, but whole organs and ultimately the whole organism. I’m guessing pharma and the medical folks want to keep all this a secret. So, why are they allowing this book? Oh, I don’t know, it all makes my head hurt.

So, with the trip to Egypt coming up, I decided to flip to the chapter on the pyramids. Give my mind a break. But, it turns out I’m seeing more of the same fascinating energy concepts, just in a different light (yes, pun totally intended). The pyramids may be an ancient technology (I’m guessing the Atlanteans built it, but, that’s just me) that focuses healing energy. A cool idea was beginning to form in my mind. I read on and began to formulate my plan. Having a plan, a goal, was pulling me out of my funk, and I was ever so grateful.

After all the big changes happening with my family, my parents decided to ask if they could come along on the trip with us. They were told that of course they could and for some reason I was really excited about it. They were being real parents now and I was actually feeling love and getting way more hugs than any girl could hope to get. I just wish I didn’t still get depressed. It’s almost like I’m being ungrateful, but I guess it’s like the wealthiest of people can still be the most unhappy. Only, instead of money, or in addition to really, I have an abundance of love. They say that love changes everything, but it doesn’t change the past, my body, or some of the jerks at school. You can’t have it all, I’ve also heard it said.

*

So the day of the trip came and I was way more excited than I should have been, had it been considered just a “trip” for me. I had my plan, but I hadn’t told anybody. I didn’t want them to think I was any weirder than they already did. I swear, it took half the day just to get to New York before we made the leap across to darkest Africa via London Heathrow. But I was a live wire and dad began wondering if I was bipolar or had overdosed on caffeine. I assured him that I was just super excited to go somewhere I had always dreamed of. He still made sure that I didn’t get my morning coffee that day. Not nice.

I was really glad to have Amanda to bounce off the walls with me. We had so much fun, but I doubt the other passengers were all that thrilled with us. Our parents did a lot of eye-rolling that day. All us girls decided to put on our headscarves before we landed, having determined that, although we were assured it wasn’t necessary, we really didn’t want any troubles with the locals. I, being me, had to make mine look really pretty and a little sexy. Yes, it is possible. Now, I know that kinda goes against the whole idea of a headscarf, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. So, I adhered to the letter of sharia, but not the spirit. C’est la vie, I always say.

At the hotel, the doorman spoke perfect English with a British accent (swoon), and oh, was he gorgeous. Tall, dark, and handsome, as they say. He had one of those awesome black mustaches so many of the guys wear here. Not as thick as those old dead guys, Saddam Hussein, or Stalin or Nietszche, but just, well, perfect, with a really nice five o’clock shadow everywhere else. I blushed. He opened the door, saying “have a nice stay, ladies!” I blushed again. I’m quite sure I will never tire of hearing myself referred to as a lady. Not ever!

The hotel Amanda’s parents had reserved for us was very swanky - the Four Seasons Hotel Cairo at Nile Plaza - quite the mouthful. After unpacking and getting a bite to eat we were asked what we wanted to do the rest of the day. It was too late for a big excursion, but too early to hang out in the room. Amanda and I both blurted out “the spa!” simultaneously. We all giggled. I don’t know what the dads decided to do, but after rolling their eyes, they allowed all us girls to go get pampered for the next four hours. I got a little laser treatment to clean up any stray hairs I had. Then a nice warm mud bath. I got a salt scrub with Dead Sea salt! I thought the Egyptians and Israelis hated each other, but, whatever, my skin never felt smoother - like silk! We all got a massage and had our hair and nails done. We even decided to have them do our makeup. I was kinda hoping to turn out like Cleopatra, but I guess that’s just me being silly (and a bit racist, I fear. Or is it called cultural appropriation? Darn mom for being an ACLU lawyer!). We all looked absolutely gorgeous as we went to the boutique to pick out dresses for the evening. We all decided to get evening gowns with a subtle local ethnic twist. They were so cool. Mine was a kind of dark teal with a lot of gold accents. Real gold, judging by the price of it. Mom must make really good money as a corporate lawyer. No, I lie, she’s an environmental lawyer. I think - whatever. I don’t really know what Amanda’s dad does, but I think they have way more money than we do even.

I felt like a princess. In fact, when my dad saw me, he said “Oh my, my sweet princess, you look absolutely beautiful!” To which I blushed, of course, and beamed a great big smile and spun on my four-inch heels for him, my skirt flaring out prettily. He pulled me into a hug and began chatting with the others, but I don’t really know much about it as I was on another planet for the moment.

So dinner was amazing! I was kinda scared of the Egyptian food, so I went as close as I dared by getting the most delicious Greek gyros plate I have ever eaten. The Greeks ruled Egypt for a few hundred years, so I figured I was being authentic enough. Long gone were the days of eating spaghetti while visiting Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. I still kick myself about that one! Crab and lobster turn out to be two of my favorite things in the world. Sigh.

A different gorgeous guy was manning the elevator on our way back to our room in order to get changed for the swimming pool. I think they must use some sort of genetic criteria for hiring, because my face felt flushed ever since stepping into that hotel. I caught myself staring at him before he could catch me, thank goodness. Who thought I would end up feeling like a sex-starved nympho? Not me. I guess I had been in my own little world for sixteen years, not allowing the real one to ever touch me. Now I felt as if I were being touched by a lightning rod nearly every moment. Who knew it would be this way?

Amanda and I donned our bikinis. I was now able to wear one since mom talked to one of her trans clients a couple months ago. She got me all the necessary gear, including a gaff and some nicer concave silicone breast enhancers. She even got a sort of medical adhesive so they stick to me and don’t fall out of my bra. That’s a big relief, I shouldn’t have to tell you. My slightly enhanced curves didn’t hurt and I thought I was looking pretty cute. Amanda was always cute, naturally. I’ve been so jealous of her all these years. I still haven’t told her that one. But, hopefully, if my plan works, I won’t have to be jealous anymore. Just miffed at losing my first sixteen years to a body I despised.

I was adamant at wanting to see the pyramids on our first full day in Cairo. If anything happened, curtailing our trip, fricking COVID, for example, I would be fine, just as long as I got to see the most wondrous and last extant of the seven wonders of the ancient world. But, I didn’t just want to see them. I wanted to go into the Great Pyramid of Khufu (or was it Khafre? Cheops? Oy!), smack in the very center. This was very important, no, vital, to my plan and I hoped I would get no push back on it.

It’s weird. Our parents are still pretty young in themselves, but they were already pooped by the time we reached the base of the imposing edifice. “Imposing” isn’t really the right word. Even “awesome” fails to do it justice. It was just entirely otherworldly and beyond the scope of my imaginings. Nothing in the world can prepare you for it. Not even the tallest buildings in Manhattan or Chicago. Not even close. Maybe Kilimanjaro or Fuji are the closest I could think of. Yet, the knowledge that the pyramids are man-made (allegedly) makes them even more awe-inspiring than the greatest of monolithic mountains. But I digress, and gush like a teenage girl mooning over the high school quarterback. Been there, done that. Wink.

So, Amanda and I talked our parents into letting us go in with a tour group. Fortunately it was made up of a bunch of old people (at least 40 years old, I reckon), so we didn’t have to worry about getting stared at or hit on while I was trying to go all Indiana Jones with my plan. I was beginning to wish I had played more Assassin’s Creed when I had the chance. But, being my past was what I thought was a huge secret, I was used to sneaking around and being all surreptitious and furtive and all that. I was probably gonna need it today. Hopefully I don’t suck at it as bad as I sucked at pretending to be a boy.

The entrance they used was way up there and since the blocks were twice my height at least, I was glad that steps were hewn into them. Some of those old guys were pretty nice helping us up some of the trickier spots, but generally it was a pretty uneventful climb. I had my map out before the mob of us entered into the relative darkness. I wanted to be sure I knew where I was going. We needed to get to the Queen’s Chamber whether this tour was going there or not. I had determined that it would be the optimal spot for my experiment, erm, my plan.

Fortunately, the Queen’s Chamber was the first major milestone for the tour, probably an hour before they make it up to the King’s Chamber. I didn’t plan on making that leg of the trip with them. After we all trundled and mumbled about in the QC, the lot of the tour exited, while I pulled Amanda off to the side where we couldn’t be seen. “What are you doing?” She implored with wide eyes that looked pretty cool in the dim lighting.

“I have a plan that I need your help with. Do you trust me?” I grabbed her arms and looked into her eyes.

“Of course I do, but we’ll get lost in here without the tour! Won’t we?” She was looking a little panicky.

“Shhh, we have to be quiet,” I whispered. “I have something I need to do. Something I’ve been thinking about for a while. And it needs to be done here. In this room. With you. Alone.” She eyed me with not a little trepidation and stepped back.

“Ewww! Don’t be gross! It’s not like that, you goof. No. It’s an energy experiment. An experiment in transformation. I can’t go into all the details, but all I need you to do is sit still for ten minutes in the center of this room, meditating and focusing on love.” Omigosh, I just realized it would have been better to have my parents here to focus their love on me while I do this, but here we are. It should work anyways.

“We don’t have a lot of time, so we need to start now. Will you do it?” She stared at me way too long before finally saying “OK.”

“Right here good?” She asked.

“That’s perfect,” I said, and she plopped down right there into the lotus position.

Her eyes were already closed as I continued. “When you’re done, I’ll take your place in exactly the same spot, so don’t be alarmed as I draw a chalk outline around you.” She just nodded her head then went back to complete stillness. She was really good at this. “If I am interrupted during my meditation, I need you to sound convincing and tell anyone that if I am disturbed it could kill me, okay? It wouldn’t, but just say it.” She opened one eye this time, but still just nodded silently.

We were still alone ten minutes later, but I didn’t expect our luck to continue for much longer. So, I hurriedly took Amanda’s spot on the floor, filling her outline perfectly. I immediately began meditating. I asked the universe to use the focused energy of the pyramid to shine through the energetic image of Amanda’s DNA. I wanted to be me, but made completely female using Amanda’s XX chromosomes as a template. It was a ridiculous, audacious plan, but, being a magical thinker anyway, at least it’s kept me upbeat for a few weeks.

You really could feel the energy of the pyramid. Everybody feels the energy when they come here, I’m just trying to use it to greater effect. And from all I’ve learned, the universe is capable of seemingly magical things if you know how to tap into the source field. I don’t know how, but I’m hoping something in the Akashic field or something will help me in my quest. Whatever. God, this sounds so stupid! Shut up and meditate, I told my mind. And I was out.

When I woke up in the hospital, Amanda told me she kept the next tour at bay and I was there for over an hour before she got worried. She couldn't wake me up. So she asked the next tour guide for help and he radioed for an ambulance to meet us down below. My parents looked at me with deep concern on their faces. Amanda’s parents were out getting coffees for all of them. Ooh, Arabica coffee. I prefer Sumatran, but, whatever. “Daddy? Mommy?” I whispered, my throat dry from the desert air. “What happened?”

“Only you can get lost in a pyramid.” Mom grinned at me.

“I got lost?”

“For more than 90 minutes. I don’t know how that’s possible, but you managed it.” Everybody laughed. Amanda’s parents were back by now. “Amanda says you passed out, probably from thirst.”

I looked at Amanda and reached for her hand, squeezing it. I nodded. “That makes sense.” I squeezed her hand again. “Actually, I am a bit thirsty. Could I have some water? Maybe some Arabica later after I’m hydrated?” I grinned and the room broke out in giggles.

“She’s okay!” Dad leaned in and gave me a hug.

I noticed I was in a hospital gown. Omigosh! “Where are my clothes?”

“Don’t worry honey, they’re over on the chair.” Mom grabbed my hand.

“No. I mean, did they see anything - say anything? You know, about me? I don’t think they like people like me over here.” I whispered.

“Oh, I see. No. They didn’t say anything. They’ve been very professional.” Mom assured me.

“Okay. Wow. Good. Phew!” I sunk back into my pillow with some relief. “Oooh, I need to pee. The water’s hitting me, I guess.” I smiled.

I was helped into the bathroom and when I began to sit to pee, I noticed there wasn’t the usual tension between my legs. It felt free and clear. I reached down to point my penis in the right direction, but there was nothing there! Holy shit! I mean cow! It worked!

When I woke up, Mom said I had passed out on the toilet. I remembered the smoothness between my legs, the glorious lack. I smiled. “Are you okay now, sweetie?” My mom asked.

I paused, wondering if it was all a dream. I slid my hand under my blanket, down between my thighs, just a little damp stickiness, then I ran my hands over my small but wonderfully sensitive breasts. “Perfect!” I smiled.

Just then, the nurse came in with a small package in each hand. “Here you go, sweetie. Do you prefer tampon or pad?” I looked up at her quizzically. “I noticed you were having your period.” She smiled shyly.

“Um, tampon?” I had always dreamed of being able to use a tampon. So that’s kinda weird, but I did. My mom’s mouth just hung open as I was helped to the bathroom. I smiled, strangely happy as I slid the tampon into me and pulled the string. I am a woman now, I thought to myself as I looked to the heavens.

*

I wasn’t released from the hospital until after midnight. Everybody seemed pretty wrung out and the ride back to the hotel was surprisingly quiet. I imagined mom and dad were having trouble sorting this out in their minds and that confusion gave them a case of lockjaw. It was chilly going from the cab to the front door, so I was glad that the fireplace was already burning brightly when we got to our room. I remember thinking how surprised I was when I first saw the fireplace, wondering why they would need fireplaces in the middle of the desert.

I got it now. Mom told me to get my jammies on and I obeyed, putting on a cute pair of flannel, footed jammies. I pulled a blanket off my bed and snuggled up on the couch in front of the fireplace. Moments later, mom and dad took the seats in front of me after setting down the tea tray. Mom poured three cups of tea and handed me one, which I eagerly took. “Speak to us.” She said tersely, but softly, without rancor.

I knew what she was referring to, but it didn’t make it any easier to formulate a coherent answer. How were they going to believe such a far-fetched story? Although, they were now looking at their formerly trans daughter, now a complete and fully functioning girl. And I knew even my chromosomes were correct. So I guess they could believe the causation, right? Maybe?

I won’t bore you with any more details. I gave you the gist earlier. Suffice it to say that mom and dad just sat quietly, occasionally nodding their heads or dropping their jaws to the floor. When I finished, mom said, “I guess there’s not much choice but to believe your explanation. It’s astonishing, but we’re looking at the proof in front of us.”

“I plan on writing a book about it at some point.” I told them. “I’ll try to do a better job explaining it then. Maybe I’ll even do footnotes and stuff, I don’t know. So, other than astonishment, what do you think?”

“About you, or the book?”

“Well, me. But the book, too, if you have an opinion?”

Mom asked, “are you happy?”

“I haven’t had much chance to think or to show it, but I am ecstatic! Mommy, Daddy, I’ll be able to have kids! I can carry my very own child! And maybe boys won’t be so scared to touch me now. And, I guess that’s convenient since I want kids.” We all giggled. “They’ll still think I’m trans, which I guess I am, kinda, but I’m hoping…I’m just hoping.” I started to tear up. I just realized this may not change things as much as I’d hoped. Maybe if I moved to where nobody knows who I used to be…

They both came to the couch and sat on either side of me for a group hug. “We’re so happy for you baby. Really. Truly.” Dad said. “It’s going to take some time to wrap our heads around this, but we will. I mean, this will make things a lot easier, won’t it?”

“And it’s comforting to know that you don’t have to go through that surgery now.” Mom added.

“I just realized that I’ll probably still get bullied.” I whined.

“If that happens, we’ll be there for you this time, we promise.” Dad hugged me tight. “But you’ll know who and what you are, you always have, and maybe that’s going to have to be enough to get you through. You’ll always have us and your friends. I know Amanda adores you. And I’m quite confident that some boy will realize how amazing you are.”

I smiled. “Thanks Daddy.” I placed my cup on the table. “I’m pretty tired. How ‘bout you guys?” I nodded to my bed.

“Bed sounds like a very good idea.” Mom smiled.

She didn’t leave. “I understand how you believe what you did in the pyramid has worked. But I need you to understand what really happened. You being in the pyramid was just a coincidence…”

“Synchronicity?” I gave her a small smile.

“If you prefer. But yes, it was very lucky that Amanda was with you, and that the next tour group arrived when it did. Sweetie, you almost bled to death…’

“What? What do you mean? How?” My eloquence was on full display again.

Mom continued, ashen. “You had your first period while you were in the pyramid.”

“Okay.” That didn’t surprise me, because my transformation was obviously a success.

“It was heavy and there was nowhere for the blood to go, so it pooled in your pelvis and abdomen and was becoming septic.”

“Why didn’t it just flow out?” I was totally confused. I seem to have a perfectly working vagina now.

“You had a thin layer of tissue over your…vaginal opening beneath your…penis.” She blushed.

I should have blushed as well, but I didn’t. “Penis?”

“Yes, I’m sorry sweetie, but your energy ‘experiment’ wasn’t the cause of your transformation. But the truth is better in some ways. You are intersexed. Were. You had both sets of reproductive organs, although your ‘male’ ones weren’t really functional.”

“Tell me about it.” I fake pouted.

“I will!” She smiled broadly. “Your female organs are fully intact and fully functional! You can have children if you want…some day.” She wagged a finger at me with a serious mom face on her.

“Omigosh, that’s great!” I nearly jumped out of bed until I felt some sutures pull and a bit of pain pulled me back quickly. “Obviously, the ‘penis’ is gone, how’d that happen?”

“Well, the local ER docs sorted out your bleeding, but they had to call in a specialist from Tel Aviv to… correct your… genitalia.” Who knew mom was so uncomfortable about sex stuff? “Your repaired…clitoris…should have normal sensation after it heals.” We both blushed at that one.

“Cool.” My understatement of a lifetime.

“Anyway, maybe your experiment wasn’t totally off the wall. The doctors, every last one of them, say the pyramids truly have energetic healing properties. And it’s their opinion that this is the reason your female organs kicked into gear now. Who knows if they ever would have otherwise? Pretty neat, huh?”

Mom’s turn for understatement now, I guess. ‘Course I didn’t believe her explanation for a minute. Well, maybe a second. I was pretty sure I used to have a very small, very normal penis. ‘Course, what did I know about normal? Or about penises, for that matter. I wasn’t going to argue the matter with her, though.

*

Back in school in January, not much seemed different. My center of gravity had changed and it was cool to have a heaviness on my chest. My clothes fit better. But, it was school and it looked the same and I looked pretty much the same. So I wasn’t expecting a whole lot to change.

But calculus class showed me different. David was already seated when I came in. He stared at me the entire time I walked to my seat. I blushed at his stare, then he looked down at his hands as I sat. “Hi David,’ I tried. “Nice holiday?”

“Yeah, really good. You?”

“Oh my gosh, It was amazing. Almost miraculous!” I smiled at him.

“Yeah? That’s good. Whadja do?”

“We went to Egypt. I got to see the pyramids!” Among other things.

“Wow, that is so cool. I’m actually really jealous. I plan on going into engineering and they’re probably the most amazing engineering feat in the history of mankind.” He enthused.

“You don’t say?” I teased.

“Yeah. You’re lucky. Hey. You seem different somehow. Did you change your hair?” That was a quick change of tack.

Among other things, I thought. “Yeah. You like it?” I pulled on a strand.

Class started, so I had to ask my next question in an old-fashioned paper note. I didn’t have David’s Text. Yet! “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why didn’t you go to homecoming?” I know this because I looked for him, endlessly.

He passed a note back. “Don’t like to prove what a loser I am, going alone.”

“Nobody accepted your invitation?” I wrote back.

“Didn’t ask anyone. Didn’t seem any point. Girls don’t like nerds, right?”

I looked at him. Then wrote. “You’re not a nerd!” Then I spoke out loud. “I happen to know a girl who thinks you’re hot. I’m pretty sure she woulda said yes had you asked her.’

“What? Who?” He was shocked.

“I promised her I wouldn’t tell. Sorry. Just know, you’re not a loser.” I pleaded with him as I blushed and looked down at my pretty nails.

At that moment, my pencil decided to take the opportunity to begin rolling toward David’s side of the table. We both reached for it at once, his hand landing on top of mine. Electricity shot right through me. We both blushed and I grasped my pencil and pulled it toward my lap. I glanced at him through my bangs with a little shy smile. He looked stunned. Did he feel what I felt?

David asked me to hang back after class. He looked at me earnestly. “I think I might like you.”

“You think?” I interrupted with a sly smile.

“I like you,” he corrected. “So, I was wondering if we could sit together at lunch? Just today, I mean. That is, if you want to?” He’s cute when he’s rambling.

“Just today?” I teased.

“Well, we’ll see how it goes? See if I don’t trip all over myself? Prove what a dork I am?” He gave me another shy smile.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that. Just today. You big dork!” I winked.

“I swear, it’s more than your hair that’s different. I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well, we’ll see if you can’t figure it out at lunchtime. It’s pizza day, you know.” I smiled.

He smiled back. “Oh, don’t I know it!”

*

“Hey David? Hon? Do you think I should write this book as Sci-fi, Fantasy, or maybe a Romance?” I glanced up from my laptop over to David, who was carrying two glasses of Pinot Noir to our spot on the sofa.

“Oh, romance, definitely!” He winked at me. “I suppose you could go the comedy route. No. How to raise twin terrors; you know, a how-to self-help kinda horror story thing.” He was still cute when he was rambling. “Girls! Settle down! Mommy’s trying to write!”

“Sorry Daddy,” the girls chimed in stereo.

I set my wine down. “Come here, you two.” They jumped up on the sofa and gave me a big hug, one on each side.

“Hi, Mommy! Whatcha writin’?” Amanda asked.

I looked her in the eye. “Oh, it’s a fairytale, sweetie.” I smiled as I pulled her in for a hug. “A wonderful fairytale. And do you know what the best part of a fairytale is?”

“Umm…what, Mommy?” She looked at me so earnestly and with great expectations. Those gorgeous blue eyes.

“The ending practically writes itself!”

“Really? That’s so awsums.” She looked absolutely enthralled. I hugged them both good and tight.

“Yeppers!”

…And they lived happily ever after. (Told ya!).

The End