Unlike many of you, but like some readers and writers on here, I live almost fully in the closet. My only time off from my male life is when I go away on short breaks. I share these with a gentleman sometimes. He has encouraged me to be braver. It is so much easier with support.
On my own I would go for short walks very late at night. If it was raining I would hide behind an umbrella. With him, I have gone for walks at night, then onto a pier with people around. The last time we met I walked on the beach with him during the day. We passed a crowd of teenagers and my heart was lodged in my mouth. I never got a second look.
Last weekend we met up in Norfolk I was Leeanna from Friday night to Sunday morning, then again Sunday night. (I needed to do some clothes shopping for my male self).
We visited several Roman ruins in the area.
This was Burgh Castle, a 1800 year old Roman fort.
We passed and good afternooded a few people there and back. We passed a few more walking around an old church later.
This was in the apartment before a walk on Sunday afternoon.
I was reading some of the comments for an old story I wrote Finding my Level on Literotica. It is about a guy being asked to look after a trans woman hired to meet quotas. He turns out to be a frustrated cd/trans person himself. She helps him come to terms with what he is. No sex in the story, yet rated at 4.7/5. That surprised me.
Many of the comments were from people wishing they could have someone help them like that. So were quite sad.
I feel so grateful that I got the chance to experience these days of expressing myself like last weekend. While I would love to be full-time (I think), these precious days keep me going and keep me sane.
Thanks M. I really appreciate your support x ( he does visit this site )
Comments
Wonderful!
I'm so glad you have this in your life.
<3
Thank you Ms. Woolly. It took
Thank you Ms. Woolly. It took 50 years to get there.
Leeanna
support makes all the difference
good for you!
huggles!
Thanks Dorothy. Support does
Thanks Dorothy. Support does make all the difference. For some reason, a man and a woman draw less attention than a lone woman. Or perhaps I don't notice as I am more confident with him.
Leeanna
That's so...
That's so romantic. Big smile on my face and even a tear beginning!
Best story I've read on BCTS!
Oh, you read Finding My Level
Oh, you read Finding My Level. I wondered what you meant. LOL It got 165 likes on here, which is one of the highest I have. After Linda got 164
Surgeon's Lodger 188, but my best was Seven years as a wife, which does have sex at 195, odd?
Leeanna
Been there, done that
For most of my life I lived in a small town dominated by a rural religious conservative society in South America that values conformity above [almost] all else. And I have been labeled deviant and/or homosexual (with the implication of pedophile) since my late teens. Though I managed to be a single father for about eight years until my daughters were kidnapped by my ex-wife or moved out on becoming an adult. Except for my parents and a couple Jehovah's Witnesses, I had absolutely NO support what-so-ever.
Given that the whole town virtually shut down between 22:00 and 22:30, I also started out with occasional midnight walks between 23:30 and 02:30. But eventually I said: “Fuck you!” And since the society at large had put a label on me that would not change, no matter what, I just started dressing for comfort. I quickly found my style inspired by the 1910s and 1920s, but I also kept a parallel wardrobe for clients and going to meetings. I stopped hiding, but I also avoided being in your face.
When I moved to Germany, I became more open though still discreet. During the pandemic I lost contact with the Witnesses. (There were too many red flags for my comfort.) And for the last three years I have worn no obviously male cut clothing. After a few [accidental] Ma'ams on the streets, and some encouraging acceptance from the queer community, I now go out and about in clearly female clothing. And I am consistently ma'am-ed wherever I go. I even traveled internationally with my original passport and a slightly androgynous wardrobe. I got sir-ed about half the time by the foreign airline staff, but ma'am-ed consistently by the German airline staff.
Here I have found that trying to be discreet, confuses the general public, which leads to awkward situations. So sending clear signals with the manner of dress has garnered me quiet acceptance in the vast majority of situations. Even though I do not use make-up nor a wig. I just project an attitude of self-confidence, as if to say: “Here I am. Hear me roar!”
Insecurity, or a lack of self-confidence, seems to like blood in the water that attracts Pirañas or sharks to a feast of depredation.
I have noticed that the more
I have noticed that the more confidence you seem to project the less notice is taken. I think when I first went out alone, I probably looked scared.
Leeanna