“Look Amanda, you didn’t listen to me when I told you not to fall for your ex. You didn’t listen to me when I pleaded you not to marry him and you didn’t listen to me when I told you it wouldn’t last. I am right and you are wrong dear. Now listen to me now and sign the release papers. Jessica is a beautiful girl. Jessie is no longer and that’s something that you will have to deal with.”
“I don’t know mother…”
“Do as I say now! Sign the release form Amanda Lynn.” Susan demanded.
Amanda sat silently next to her mom in the waiting room. She had always been shy to confront her mom about anything and she was doing it again.
“Now don’t pout Amanda dear, I kept all the information from you because I know how emotional you get. It was a good move for me to take care of all the decision making.”
“Mom, he’s my son. I should have some say-so in this.”
“Well now you have the say-so. You need to sign off on her paperwork so she can go into surgery. I’m going to use the ladies room and when I get back we can get those signatures done right sweetie?”
“Ok mom.”
As her mom left the room the nurse arrived with Jessie’s file.
“Doctor Katz asked me to give Jessica’s file to you. She is prepped and ready by the way. We will take these papers once you sign them.” The nurse said.
Amanda opened up the file. It had several pages filled with checklists and notes. The doctor was right. There were many calls made.
The scale of feminization seemed to range from a mild 1 to a severe 10 on the charts. Although Jessie had been started on a 3, he was gradually increased to the highest level. She wondered why he needed to be placed in such an extreme level.
“Did you sign the paperwork dear?” Susan asked as she returned.
“Mom, why did you keep requesting for the feminization to increase?”
“It really was the best decision. If he had any trace of his vile manhood left than he could go back to who he was. Do you really want him to turn out like that man you married?”
“No mom, but he’s a zombie now. He doesn’t know who he is or which way is up.”
“Look Amanda, you didn’t listen to me when I told you not to fall for your ex. You didn’t listen to me when I pleaded you not to marry him and you didn’t listen to me when I told you it wouldn’t last. I am right and you are wrong dear. Now listen to me now and sign the release papers. Jessica is a beautiful girl. Jessie is no longer and that’s something that you will have to deal with.”
“I don’t know mother…”
“Do as I say now! Sign the release form Amanda Lynn.” Susan demanded.
Amanda felt herself caving. She picked up the pen and struggled with this decision. She began to press the ball of the pen into the paper. Her son’s penis was practically gone anyways right? Why was this decision so hard to make? Perhaps it was the final stamp on his transformation. No…it was the thought that all resemblance of her son would be gone forever with the final conditioning. The pen quivered.
Susan’s face broke a smile.
Suddenly Amanda’s cell phone rang. She reached into her purse.
“Hello?”
“Mrs. Adams? This is Ashley. Have you seen Jessica?”
“Yes, she is here with us.”
“Oh good…is everything alright?”
“Ashley, it is high time that we talk about Jessie. I know you two have become great friends and you have influenced her immensely. She is here at the clinic and is ready to become a complete woman…” Amanda explained.
“NO! This is wrong! You can’t make this decision for her! Those tapes brainwashed her and I saw how vacant she was she had become. She was clueless about everything! I know why you did what you did but you have killed Jessie in the process.” Ashley pleaded.
“I realize that now Ashley. Sadly nothing can be done. The tapes have done what they have done and it cannot be undone. If he realized what we did to him he would not be able to handle it. I wish there was another way but there isn’t.”
“You’re wrong Mrs. Adams! Jessica didn’t listen to the tapes last night. I’m sorry but I couldn’t handle how lost she had become. She remembers everything!”
“What?!?” Ashley replied. She was stunned.
“She remembers being a boy and realizes what has happened to her body. Look, she is upset but it is Jessie again. I didn’t get the blank stare…it was your son.”
Amanda tried to take it in. Her son was still there??? The doctor was mistaken! Could she halt the process? Would Jessie be able to cope with the changes without going crazy? Could he ever forgive her for what she had done to him?
It was worth the chances!
“Ashley, I need to go and try to save what’s left of my son.” Amanda replied as she ended the call.
“What are you thinking Amanda?” Susan asked with a stern tone.
“My son is still in there and I can’t proceed with this. I’m not signing and I want to see my son now!”
Susan was taken aback. How dare her daughter turn on her like this!
“Amanda, you will sign the release now! This is what Jessie needs! I will not have that vile boy ruining lives just like his father did!”
“Is everything ok here ladies?” The nurse asked.
“No, it’s not. I will not sign off on my son’s procedure. I want to take him home immediately.”
“She’s just being very emotional. I’ve handled this from the start and I will finish it. Give me the pen and I will sign the release.” Susan demanded.
“I’m sorry, but only his mother can authorize this final stage. Mrs. Adams, I would encourage you to sign off but it is your decision.”
“I need to hold off on this for a while longer. Now, can I see my son?”
“Right away. “She” is still under sedation but we can revive her.”
“Oh Amanda, what kind of mistake are you making? I cannot support this.” Susan replied as she walked out of the room.
“Follow me. I will inform Dr. Katz that we will have to postpone the procedure.”
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Comments
YES!!!
I knew she would not sign the papers. Good show.
Hilltopper
Good Show!
Let Jessie decide upon who and/or what to be! That evil granny needs to be jailed for her crime!
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Maybe
the mother is finally getting a backbone! Ashley, hope she arrives to help Jesse.
My take on the earlier teasing of Ashley was Jesse's adolescent attempt to get her to notice him -- I am of the opinion that, most likely, Jesse had a crush on her and only hung around Jason because of her. That most of his "antics" was to impress Ashley, and his failure only got him upset and that made him take out frustrations on boys younger than him.
Annie in PA
Annie in PA
Hmmmm
Susan seems to be giving up rather easily. I know that Amanda's refusal to sign seemingly blocks her plans, but still...
PB
Susan walking out
Does that mean she might do the job herself before jessie's mom can get to her? Make the doctor believe that Jessie's mom is deranged and complete the task before she can cancel the operation?
I'm still worried for Jessie.
Go mom, Tell your mother to go to hades. I hope she realizes that her mother, susan, is her real problem, not Jessie.
2 little to late for Jessie
I believe his mother has waited to long for helping her son..I would agree that I think Jessie was just acting out because of his interest in Ashley..an atempt to inpress her as young men often do with his antics...The grandmother has a dislike for men by the way she is presented in the story. The mother seems to be easyly manipulated and controled by the grandmother. I wonder what the relationship between the grandmother and her husband was and what events split Amanda and her husband up.
Yes, at the last second to midnight!!
Yes, mom is showing some backbone. She is not acting like a jellyfish.
Hello Ashley!!! ^____^ ;-D
Mom was used to her own mom's dominating ways. She married her ex to get away from that. But she realized too late the ex is dominating as well. Now that the truth is out on her own mom, what will Amanda do now? What will Susan do now? What will Ashley do now? What will Jason and his so called friends do now?
There are a lot of what ifs here. We'll just have to wait for the next chapter.
Thanks Ashley. This is very good story writing here. Have a wonderful week while we wait patiently for the next chapter.
Rachel
Too Late
Excellent story as I have said before and coming to a climactic conclusion. Yet I do not think Jessie has any reason to forgive his/her mom at least anytime in the next ten years or so. The crime here in too heinous and the neglect is too severe. Jessie probably cannot ever really be male and is certainly close in many ways to being female. Surprised Jessie isn't at huge risk for cancer with the doses of hormones given. Grandma well I hope she goes far away stays mad and never comes back.
Hugs, Kristi
Kristi Lynne Fitzpatrick
Too Late...I sure hope so...
I'm rooting for Jessica and against Jessie. Identity death or not, Jessica is a far superior human being to Jess. And I'm hoping that Jessica, perhaps having fully integrated the best of Jessie, will one day not only forgive Susan, but also thank her grandmother for starting her, even if against her will, down the path to happiness and success. Maybe she will get married to a nice guy and adopt some children. Maybe she will open a chain of salons.
I understand, as I've said before, why some of the VIPs on this site have issues w/ the archetypal Forced Femme stories, but that's no reason to lobby for Ashley to water down her fine narrative with a dogmatic sense of morality.
That every living human should get to choose their gender is a fine sentiment and an excellent civil liberty to fight for, but to insist that every story on TopShelf conform to this idea (not by official decree, but through the peer pressure of the comment section) would only serve to move this amazingly diverse site toward a more narrow and less interesting place to visit.
Obviously, if a majority of the BigCloset community decides to make a full court press against this type of story then Ashley may feel she must either revise her story to be accepted into this particular TG society or find a new home for TSOJ. I suppose that's proper; the fine group of writers who post their work here, and helped build it into the best TG Fiction site online, should have a say (via the blogs and comments) as to the overall feel of the place. But should every gender switch story be voluntary? Sounds a bit tiresome to me.
Ashley, I'm writing this comment because I wanted to make it perfectly clear that not everyone agrees with the idea that Susan's actions are necessarily evil or that if Amanda really loved her child she would never have condoned this. It is my contention, based on the tale you have woven, that in your universe, it is a perfectly acceptable idea to transform a Beastly Boy into a Gracious Girl, For His Own Good and that within the confines of your story it is conceivable that Jessica is the true platonic form and Jessie was only a crude shadow. I could be wrong but I believe that Jessie was predestined to become Jessica and if it hadn't been the 3 witches (The Crone: Susan, The Matron: Amanda, & The Maiden: Ashley) facilitating this metamorphosis, then it might have been a wizard or a car crash that did the trick.
Still a lovely story, btw, and I eagerly anticipate the next chapter.
Look what you, yourself wrote.
** it is a perfectly acceptable idea to transform a Beastly Boy into a Gracious Girl, For His Own Good... **
I would agree, if reformation - as stated, "for HIS own good" - is the goal, but that is not what Susan is advocating; she is advocating killing him. How can it be for HIS good if he is dead? I certainly agree that it might be for society's good, and certainly for Jessica's good, at least in the beginning - somewhere down the line this gurl who believes she was born a girl is going to find out that's not so; what happens then? - but it is not for Jesse's good.
"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show
BE a lady!
I'm not at all convinced she
I'm not at all convinced she is killing him; perhaps only in the sense that the caterpillar must die for the butterfly to live.
How should she ever discover she's not a girl? She looks the part (enough to convince her previous best friend into kissing her) and after the surgery she will be anatomically correct. And who's to say what is and isn't possible in a fantasy such as this where a boy can be brainwashed so thoroughly by a tape and feminized so convincingly (with breasts and curves) in such a short time? What if when Jessica discovers (at the completion of the program) that she was once a punk on the verge of being a thug she responds thus: "Oh how horrible I was! I'm sooo glad I'm a girl now. I'm happier than I ever was as an icky boy, I wouldn't change back for the world!"
OMG
You can't be serious! You are seriously trying to sell this here ? He won't discover he's not really a girl because he looks the part.. *blink* *blink* Wow!
No Jezzi is very, very, right. It'd mean Jesse -the boy- was killed, replaced by a pod person, an empty shell filled with the ideas and beliefs of Susan, and to a lesser degree Amanda.
But you're right in that it is a fantasy. So ultimately you can bet your sweet ..um.., you might be correct that all is well in the end for Jessie. Probably even able to marry Jason, conceive, give birth, to a girl, and a boy. In that order of course, for that way older sister can straighten younger brother out before he becomes a nuisance.
In short : The whole shebang. And live happily ever after.
Well, that's just so peachy. Can you say Stepford ?
Jo-Anne
"He won't discover he's not
"He won't discover he's not really a girl because he looks the part.. *blink* *blink* Wow!"
Okay, I phrased that wrong. What I meant is that she passes so completely that even people who knew her closely for several years are not able to identify her birth gender.
And your Stepford comment is technically correct, but I would submit that perhaps this is the wrong way to read this story. Unlike Ira Levin's great novel about repression of the women's movement and an attempt to undermine the female powers (the left side of the tree of life: understanding, justice, endurance, water & earth) by making them conform to a societal norm and robbing them of their independent identities, TSOJ, is at its heart, a story about a boy becoming a girl, not a boy becoming a robot (female or otherwise).
I would further propose that what makes this story so readable (and popular) is, mainly, AshleyTS' writing ability; the way she turns a phrase and the manner in which the characters relate to each other and that ultimately Amanda & Susan's motivations are relatively unimportant. Attempting to turn the theme of this story into an Invasion of the Body Snatchers morality tale diminishes the bigger picture of how Jessica will adapt to her new life in a different gender.
Who knows the psychological reasons why some of us are so fascinated with the type of story, where a young man is forced to become a girl against his will. But the truth of the matter is that we identify with Jessie. Perhaps though we'd never admit it to anyone, we wanted our mothers (the epitome of the female authority figure) to force us into a soft and pretty life though we'd protest it at every step of the way. I wonder how many people who await each new chapter of TSOJ with bated breath wish that their mothers had resorted to this extreme petticoating that somewhere these magic tapes and wonder drugs really existed, or that they had a friend like Ashley who would be a companion and protector all the time she was pushing them further in skirts (with very little instance of humiliation, I might add). I'm no doctor, but I would assert that for us Jessie's transformation is paramount, and that he would not have voluntarily chosen to be the sweet, nurturing female that Jessica is becoming only makes the story more powerful.
Do we?
Do we indeed identify with Jessie? Are we yearning for some outside force to come push us into a soft and pretty life? At the cost of losing our core, our identity? I don't know about you, but me, I certainly wouldn't want that. Ever. No way. That would be like suicide, not a happy choice.
It would be easier to bear though, real suicide, because then you wouldn't have the hassle with people who knew you before. But that's on a side note, what really is the issue is that I think that anyone willing to sacrifice his (or her) life to be forced into a different life, be it of the opposite gender or not, without any reminiscence of the past, is in psychological need.
Imagine the implications, bear in mind that the past has a tendency to creep up on you, and also don't underestimate the importance of gut feeling. Your own gut feeling. No one, in sane mind, will fully and willingly embark on such a risky endeavour. Nor would want to be forced to, not really. And that's the crunch here, the being forced.
We fantasize about it, we play little fun and games with it, but we don't want it for real. This story is a fantasy, a little play, and I love it, really I do. But, as with any fantasy, you tend to compare it with life, real life. And the more the fantasy seems feasible to become real, the joy and wonder of the story increases. You empathize, and your enjoyment soars.
Otoh, your empathy can lead to concern about perceived incongruities, and hazards in the long run, which you can fortunately vent in the comments. But some of these notions are increasingly disruptive and contrary to real life, which in time could lead to abandoning the whole unbelievable tale.
So yes, it's mere play. Only a fantasy, but every story worth reading is about make believe. The best ones are most credible. Brainwashing and mindwiping isn't conductive to enjoying a story finely tuned between fantasy and reality.
Jo-Anne
btw. If you wonder why I do like this story, read my earlier comments at #39 I believe it was.
Fantasies are fantastic
But if you establish your story as a fantasy, as long as you stay consistent within your created universe, you need not bother with reality. If a TGirl (voluntary or forced) can pass so thoroughly that only those involved with her transformation can know she was born male then the rest of the details can be shifted so that the real-world hassle of having to deal w/ people you knew before is not relevant to the story (the family moves, Jessica is sent to a special school, etc.,) And I would disagree that a story must be based in reality to be credible. If a story is well written readers like me will gladly suspend our disbelief. Walk through a wardrobe into another world? Sure. Chat with a hookah smoking caterpillar? I can dig it. Ride through outer space in a great glass elevator? You bet! Romance a vegetarian vampire?...well let's not get carried away.
Of course none of this is really possible in the real world; specifically not mind wiping or brainwashing: Most credible science asserts this can not be done - it is relegated to the world of fantasy and speculative fiction, which is where TSOJ presently resides. And BTW, I'm not entirely convinced this is a 'mind-wiping': Our authoress has left herself a lot of wiggle room here. Hypothetically the tapes and drugs could be tapping into the feminine part of Jessie which he has obviously repressed or into the potential female he would have been if that Y chromosome hadn't messed things up, you know, the yin (vs. yang) portion of his personality that was always part of who he was, but just ignored and abused.
In any case what makes me smile most about this story are the fantastic elements: How delightful Jessica is in her increasing appreciation of girlishness. I loved her decision that she didn't need to be competitive at sports if it meant not being able to wear the cute skirt and how she could derive pleasure from watching her 'boy' friend succeed athletically. Jessica's loss of Jessie's athleticism is not necessarily to make him weak, it could be to make him appreciate that there are other things more important than crushing a competitor. I love that everyone, Jason included, accepted her as a genuine girl without the slightest question or doubt.
And another thing in this whole Identity Death argument. I'm not convinced every identity is worth saving, especially in a fantasy: What if I told you that I could send you back in time, with the TSOJ tapes and drugs, to when Hitler was Jessie's age , and that if you 'softened' him up that instead of a fascist dictator Frau Hitler becomes an illustrator of children's books - would you do it, or would you fight to the death to protect Adolph's identity?
If given the option, I don't think I'd fight for Jessie's identity. I would, however, fight to save Jessica's identity, artificially constructed or not. Her I like.
Two things
Yes fantasy is free to use in any way you can can think off, science be damned, and long live the imagination. But there are a number of human morals and ethical no-no's you don't suspend along with your disbelief. Not if you want your story to be enjoyed by most other humans.
Of course you may fantasize stories where giant dinosaur are flogging men and women with gusto and within an inch of their lives -or beyond- on a daily basis, and all are oh so happy about it. You could write about romancing a vegetarian vampire, who incidentally was on vampire Ramadan, and you're invited on the festivities at Eid ul-Fitr. Three days of vampire fun, and you're the main course, while you're slowly bled to death. Oh such fun. For the vampires.
To me, and I dare say to most of us humans :), this is horror. Unimaginable? I just did. But I don't care for it, and I wouldn't read a story in that vein. We like stories that strike a chord with us, and for that to happen the writer balances between utter bollocks imagination and your most squared conventional human reality, while founded in human beliefs and virtues.
In regard to this story, fantasy is tearing at the moral when Jesse's identity is being taken from him. Technically, that is murder. Jezzi coined a beautiful term 'Identity death' and in general people frown on such things. It's what the bad guys do, and we pity the victim.
Now for your Adolph's example. Ultimately, I hope I never have to make that choice. Knowing what I know now, the choice tends to be simple. But is it really? Fantasize with me for a moment: Imagine Adolph became Addie and life was good. But, oh dear, there's Hermann, and he carries a grudge as big if not bigger than Adolph. And he is even smarter than Adolph and somehow he is able to create eine super-bombe, which he launches with devastating effect. Germany becomes the super power of the world. Ein Reich, etc. etc.
And I have this strange conviction that no one has the right to take another one's life. I'm dead set against the death sentence, not only for the off chance (s)he didn't do it, but mostly for the principle. You do what he ( or she ) did, killing another human being? You essentially stoop to their level.
We could indulge in an interesting ethical philosophical discussion from this point, but I don't want that to happen here. You have your beliefs and fantasies, I have mine.
Best of luck,
Jo-Anne
RE Adolf
** What if I told you that I could send you back in time, with the TSOJ tapes and drugs, to when Hitler was Jessie's age , and that if you 'softened' him up that instead of a fascist dictator Frau Hitler becomes an illustrator of children's books - would you do it, or would you fight to the death to protect Adolph's identity? **
You might enjoy my story, "SRU: All Hitler, All the Times". It's at Crystal's.
http://www2.storysite.org/story/sruallhitler~01.html
There were sixteen attempts on the life of Adolf Hitler; the only one to be successful was, of course, his own. I suspect there was a reason why not one of the 15 plots or attempts succeeded; perhaps it was necessary for things to go as far as they did so that worse things wouldn't occur. Because Hitler lived as long as he did, the whole horror of what the nazi's did was exposed where, had he died earlier the camps might have been cleaned up, evidence destroyed. Even with all the evidence, there are those who believe the Holocaust never happened; what if the evidence wasn't as clear. Because Hitler lasted as long as he did, we had three atomic bombs almost ready to use; two we used on Japan. Suppose those bombs were not developed and ready and the US went into the cold war weakened by the effort needed to invade japan? Suppose the Cuban Missle crisis came and there was no example of atomic weapons actually used in warfare? Would Nikita have backed down? Global thermonuclear war 1962 style would have made Hiroshima and Nagasaki look like firecrackers.
Anyway, your Hitler argument is based on knowing what he did and being able to go into the past to change it. So far, that fantasy has not been introduced in Jesse's story. Susan would eradicate him based on her belief in what he would do, not on what he did.
"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show
BE a lady!
Why Moralise?
For me this story is a kind of guilty pleasure, and, hey, it's fiction, right? I honestly don't know why I keep reading but I do, and I eagerly await the next episode. Maybe I'm sick, but then so are 1800+ other readers and that's a more than average number for any episode on this site,
Joanne
Guilty of guilty pleasure
I'm with Joanne on the guilty pleasure side, and though I'm impressed with the three witches critique, I'm staying away from too much analysis. Ok, that's not exactly true--I've written before I like that this story doesn't put the author Ashley as the main character, but as another. In most other stories the Author (Yournamehere) is almost always the main character (Yourname here). I don't want to say that Ashley the Author has set out to make this one point, but by doing this (and generating this small bit of controversy), the story does underline that ALL transgender stories are about forced femme--at least in the sense that the characters are always at the mercy (benign, malevelant, or even incompetent) of the author. Asley has never been incompetent, and seems always to be looking to be benign. Props and kudos.
Arkady71
Jessie
I suppose the ending I'd like best for this story would be for Jessica to willingly decide to get the operation for herself, as the lesser of two evils.
I ADMIT I HAVE BEEN PUSHING
for the final op, I didn't think that Jessie would have survived being the type of bad attitude and character he had developed into.
Most likely ending up a drug addict and knifed in some back alley.
Go Granny!
Ashley it's been a fantastic read to date and I'm sure it will continue the same, thanks for the wonderful story.
LoL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita