A Challenge to any Newbie wanting to write a story but just

Here is a good beginning to a story I was writing. My challenge to you is to finish it! The real challenge though is...Can you give it emotion? Will the readers "FEEL" the story through the characters? Good luck and I hope this helps those wanting to write, at least a start.

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The Healing Child
By
Angel O’Hare and (your name here)
 ©December-2008

The first thing I realized when I opened my eyes is that I was no longer under water. The last thing I could remember is our car slowly sinking in ice cold water during the darkest of nights. No moon, heavy low clouds and rain, constant heavy rain.

My dad was driving and some idiot big rig driver came zooming by us and fishtailed wildly striking the front driver’s side door hard with the tail end of the trailer.

Our car then turned violently to the right and went up onto the guardrails in front of a bridge. We continued going forwards and then sideways as our car twirled in the air before hitting hard and flat wheels down onto the surface of the river.

The wind was knocked out of me, my mom was screaming and my dad was unconscious head bloodied and bleeding.

For some reason I wasn’t able to get my breath back fast enough and was passing out as I watched my mom calm down and shake my dad and just as she was looking at me, I passed out.

I did feel ice cold water start covering my feet and then progress to reaching up to my knees, but that is all I can remember.

I’m in the hospital as I look around and next to me in another bed is my mom fast asleep. My dad is no where to be seen.

No clocks on the walls just a rhythmic beeping sound coming from somewhere behind me. I twist my body and look behind me to see wires from me leading to a machine that has colored squiggly lines and numbers next to symbols I have no idea what they mean.

I hear an abrupt change to the beeping rhythm as I keep moving around a few seconds later a nurse appears at the side of my bed. She speaks to me softly just above a whisper and tells me I’m safe now and that my mommy is in the next bed over.

She makes me lie still as she checks me over and then peels back my covers and I gasp seeing that I have a tube coming out my penis, She reassures me that it is just to collect my urine while I was unconscious and getting IV’s it will be removed very soon now that I’m awake.

She asks me some silly questions that I answer and she seems happy. Then my mother is holding my hand and is thanking God for not taking her son along with her husband. I then realize my dad is dead and she then realizes what she had said.

We both spent some time crying while we held each others hand. I couldn’t believe my dad was gone.

The next hour is spent with my mom telling me everything that I had missed. We were very lucky that a state policeman was actually chasing down the trucker and had witnessed everything that had happened.

He called immediately for river rescue and followed our cars progress down the river as it slowly sank with just the roof visible along with our head and tail lights.

River rescue was just two miles away and were soon at our car and removed me first, then my mom, and then my already deceased Dad. He died of a massive head injury.

The trucker was actually caught 50 miles away on another interstate. He had thought he had gotten away when the state policeman stopped chasing him and followed our progress down the river.

OKAY, NOW IT’S YOUR TURN, TAKE IT FROM HERE AND GOOD LUCK!

All participants will receive a completed story I have written that no one has seen yet and has never been posted anywhere. The only catch is, you must post your version of this story here at the Big Closet.

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Angel O’Hare

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