I looked down at two unfamiliar shoes running on a green surface that resembled a carpet made from artificial grass. My hands were gripping an L-shaped piece of sports equipment, and looking to my right, I could see a white ball making its way to my exact position. I crossed over a curved white line on the ground while stopping the plastic ball in its tracks using my stick. A high-pitched voice yelled out behind me, but due to my concentration on the physical activity, I was unable to make out the words. The ball was now gliding on the smooth green field, accelerated by my stick that I was pushing along with. I focused my gaze on a black plank of wood below a white net, which was draped to the back of a rectangular goal in front of me. Completely ignoring the bulky humanoid figure standing between me and the wood, I pushed all my strength into the ball. As my stick left the ground, the ball sped towards its goal, connecting with the wood with a loud crack. The figure standing in front of me was unable to stop the ball, and cheers of joy erupted behind me.

“YES! Nice shot, Emily!” I could hear Lizzy yell. This time, I was able to understand her speech, having untethered my focus from the physical concentration of playing field hockey.

“Impressive,” Kelsey stated from behind the mask of her goalie outfit. While removing the mask, she stepped out of the goal, laying her hand on my shoulder. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows while looking at me, “Are you sure you have never played before?”

Before responding to her, I glanced down at my feet. Looking back towards Kelsey, I shot her a little wink, “Nope, but I guess you weren’t lying when you told me these are your lucky shoes.”

***

“Like, just trust me on this one; I know it’s the blue wire,” Jade told the group while holding a small pair of scissors. We were standing in a small room with walls covered in all kinds of danger stickers. In the center of the room stood a large cylindrical device with plexiglass tubes attached to its sides. LED lights shone from within the tubes, and in the middle of the device, there was a large metal console connecting six differently colored wires.

On the other side of the device, Rachel was reading a little booklet while literally scratching her head. “I don’t know... What if it’s the green one? We haven’t ruled that one out yet,” she said nervously, her eyes constantly switching between the booklet, the device, and Riley.

“I don’t think we have time for this, y'all,” Riley said, shaking her head. She was standing between Rachel and a big red timer that had 20 seconds left on it but didn’t seem phased in the slightest.

Holding a pair of scissors of her own, Lizzy couldn’t stand the tension anymore. “Jade is right. Let’s just go blue!” Without anyone being able to respond, she cut the blue wire extruding from the console. All the lights on the device suddenly turned off, and we collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

"That could have gone worse," I said, throwing up my hands. Not even having finished my sentence, all the lights on the device suddenly lit back up, with the timer behind it now displaying '00:03.' We all yelled out in terror before a loud boom played on a set of speakers in the room, indicating that we had lost the game. Riley looked at me and said, "Could it?" making the room erupt in laughter.

***

The sun was slowly lowering itself down to the horizon, casting long shadows over the riverside park. A slight difference in elevation caused the water from the park's basin to drop into the river, forming a tiny waterfall. It had been a very warm day for this time of year, the perfect weather for me to be wearing that wonderful yellow dress Mia recommended to me last week.

Having spent the entire day doing all sorts of activities with the girls, it felt nice to find a little moment of solace. I wasn't used to this kind of weekend full of friends and fun. So, while it had been scary at first, I wouldn't want to have it any other way. It was, however, incredibly tiring. This weekend had felt like I was stepping into another life, a better life. But I also couldn't help but think about the volatility of that better life. For I felt like I was living on borrowed time. Once my deception was revealed, this would all be over in an instant.

There was another option though, but I wasn't sure if I liked that option. I couldn't help but think of that fight with Riley again and again. Slowly her words had burrowed deep into my brain. That same question of hers, constantly begging for an answer. "If you could choose to live your life as Emily or Jason, what would you choose?" A question that seemed simple at first, like it was nothing more than a button I could press. However, it had become incredibly complicated over time. Since if I had to be honest, especially looking back at the last 24 hours, I would say Emily. A reality that was currently scaring the life out of me.

Suddenly, I could hear laughter coming from behind the tree line, indicating that my time of solemn introspection had come to an end. The entire gang had returned from their little expedition to "Moe's Italian Sandwiches" and brought along bags of delicious food loot. All of them insisted that I try the "Original," and before I knew it, a large sandwich containing olives, salami, pickles, and much more found its way into my hands.

The delicious aromas from the sandwich quickly filled my nose, but I didn't feel like eating at all. I was already completely filled up with doubts, so there was no space for this Italian masterpiece. My doubtful eyes met Riley's relaxed gaze, and somehow, she immediately understood that something wasn't quite right. "Emmy and I are going to explore the park for a bit; see you in 15?" she said to the group.

Rachel looked slightly saddened by Riley's announcement, but Kelsey already nodded as a sign of approval. Not even waiting for any further response, we immediately walked off together, sandwiches still in hand.

The first two minutes of our walk were silent, but when we reached an old bridge that crossed the river, Riley turned to me. “So… What’s up? I would recognize that worrisome look of yours anywhere. Just tell me about today’s anxiety demon, and I will slay it for you,” she asked while making fake punching motions in the air.

I let out a little sigh, mentally preparing myself for this tough conversation. “I don’t really know how to say it. It’s hard. Just promise me you won’t be weird about it, okay?” I could see Riley was about to respond, but before she did, I remembered who I was talking to and added, “Or gloat about it!”

A confident smile appeared on her face. “You know me too well. Look, you don’t have to protect me from Rachel’s romantic pursuits; I can handle myself. I won’t be a Bree.”

Dumbfounded by the direction this conversation suddenly took, I held up my hands. “No! That’s not what I wanted to talk about. Even though I am surprised that you figured that out already. But no, that’s a conversation for another time,” I said while shaking my head.

Confusion found its way to Riley’s expression as our feet found the other side of the riverbank. “Wait, then what is this about? Everything has been pretty great so far?”

“A little too great. I think you might be right,” I said, trying to get it all out of the way quickly.

“Of course, I’m always right, but what are you talking about specifically…”

“Last week when you…” I tried to jog her memory.

I could see that she was actively thinking back until her face suddenly shifted into a more serious expression. “Oh! You mean… Is this like… a coming out thing?” she responded cautiously.

Seeing her connect the dots made a massive lump of anxiety lodge itself in my throat. So, all I could really do was nod while biting my lip.

Riley stopped in her tracks and turned towards me. My anxiety reached peak levels as anything could happen at this point. I almost expected her to get angry for a second, to once again receive a fresh serving of face fries.

Luckily, this wasn’t what happened. Instead, she held out her arms and pulled me in for a warm embrace. While holding me tightly, she calmly whispered into my ear, “Thank you for letting me know how you feel. I just want you to know that this doesn’t have to change anything between us.”

I felt a strange kinship with that small waterfall in the distance as some tiny tears escaped from behind my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I told my friend while hugging her back.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, buddy,” Riley reassured me. “I will always be there for you.”

I think we must have stood there for a full 10 seconds before we finally let go of each other. I carefully wiped away my tears in such a way that it wouldn't smear my makeup too much.

"Please don't tell anybody else about this. Not even your parents. I'm not sure what's going on with me, and I need some time to figure it all out," I pleaded with Riley.

She wrapped her arm around my back and across my shoulder as we continued walking along the gravel path. "Of course. I won't tell anybody. This is your truth to tell," she responded while rubbing my shoulder affectionately.

I took a big bite from my sandwich, and over the next few minutes, I slowly started to explain some of the feelings I had experienced over the last week, especially what I had felt over the last day.

After 10 minutes, my sandwich was fully finished. Riley had been nodding along to my story, and at this point, I felt a lot calmer. "It's just... I know that I probably am... you know? But I am just so scared of it all," I said, trying to sum up my feelings to her.

"Yeah, this doesn't sound like an easy thing to go through. But maybe... look at the bright side? It's better to figure this out about yourself now than in 20 years," Riley shrugged while kicking a little piece of gravel into the bushes.

While she had a point, currently it was too hard for me to acknowledge that point. When your whole world flips upside down, hypotheticals don't feel as relevant anymore.

In the distance, I could already see stone benches where the girls were waiting for us. Riley had clearly taken note of this as well, making us stop one final time. "Are you sure you're going to be fine? I could come up with some kind excuse to get us out of here."

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Like I said, being here makes me feel more comfortable than I have ever been at home. I wouldn't like to be anywhere else. Or, more importantly, with anybody else. It's amazing to have a friend you can trust blindly."

We both smiled at each other, and for once in my life, I made Riley feel awkward. Because after our collective smile, she scratched the back of her head while slightly biting her lip and spoke. "Forever together."