One would expect that after all the excitement of last week, I’d be enjoying the mundanity of Monday morning classes. Solving formulas during algebra, calculating vectors during physics, and reading about the War of 1812 during history. It wasn’t quite as engaging as the emotional rollercoaster I went through last week. Nonetheless, I needed to keep notes religiously trying to keep myself in my mother’s good graces.

But instead of thinking about redcoats burning down the White House, my mind was already fixated on the future. Hanging out with the team in Battingham this weekend, and potentially going down to Boston to see my father in 2 weeks. Heck, the weekend after would already be the LAN tournament. It was almost like I had an actual life for a change.

When lunchtime finally rolled around, Jade messaged me a reminder to ask Riley if she wanted to come along to the boot camp. Why wasn’t Rachel the one who was reminding me though? It was a bit odd since it was her idea to ask Riley in the first place. But they were probably all having lunch together as well right now. Therefore, I reasoned to myself that they were probably just talking about it in person .

“The goop is good today,” Riley remarked as she suddenly sat down at the other side of the table without me actively noticing. Today’s lunch consisted of vegetarian green curry with rice. And it clearly was to Riley’s taste as she had loaded quite the portion size on her plate.

“Eh, it’s fine. I’ve had better” I responded to her while looking down at the meager amount of food I had brought back to the table myself. For some reason, I wasn’t feeling hungry at all today. Not that I had the time to eat a proper meal, since there was still an English essay I needed to write on the spot.

“It’s not Rasheed’s level of amazing, but it’s definitely better than the greasy mess we are normally served,” Riley said in the slight interval that existed in between her shoveling food into her mouth and devouring it with vigor.

I had taken a notebook and pen out of my bag and started to work on my emergency English homework. Before I managed to put a single word to paper, however, I looked over at my curry-destroying friend.

“So… uhm… that bootcamp thingy this weekend. Would you maybe… like to tag along?” I cautiously asked before the tiny amount of courage left my body. “You can see it as a fun weekend away from home. To make up for last Friday. Rachel, the girl who gave me right home insisted I would ask you.” I said, trying to clarify my offer.

Riley had a visible look of confusion drawn across her face as I could see her trying to remember the tiny interaction she had with Rachel. “Where was this bootcamp again?” she asked in a surprisingly sincere manner.

“Battingham, they rented out a room at a PC-café and we will be sleeping at Rachel’s. Her parents own a proper mansion from what I understood so there should be more than enough space for all of us.”

As I spoke the word Battingham it almost looked like Riley’s ears perked up like those of a dog hearing the mailman walk by.

“Yeah sure, why not. It’s not like I got anything better to do this weekend” she responded. I was about to inquire further by asking why Battingham in particular made her interested, but seeing the clock hanging above the green cafeteria doors my priorities shifted in an instant. I had only 15 minutes to write this essay before Ms. Pearson would personally shift down my class participation grade. So I need to get on this now.

***

I was stepping on the cracked asphalt past the familiar homes decorated with wood paneling. However, all of my attention was currently focused on my phone. Instead of enjoying the pretty colors of fall-shaded leaves that had dropped down from the oaks lining the small road deeper into the suburb. I was trying to find an ancient function by the name of a ‘Phone Call’ on the smartphone firmly grasped between my two small hands.

“Hey, Dad! How are the oceans treating you” I said as I held my cracked phone screen close to my ear. After two earlier attempts, the man had finally picked up. He already called me back on the bus ride home, but I decided I would call when walking back home from the bus stop. It just always felt so incredibly awkward speaking with somebody on the phone around other people.

“Ahoy kiddo, the water has been wonderful. Thanks for asking. Everything is still nice and dandy with you and your mom?” I could hear my father’s rough voice respond to me on the other end of the line. It was almost like you could hear his bushy beard brush against the microphone ever so slightly.

“Good as it can be. But I’m mostly excited to hear you’re coming back on land soon.” I responded trying to steer the conversation away from my mother. If he wanted to know about her, he could just call her instead.

“That’s good to hear, I have missed you too Jase. The ship will be coming into port in about 8 days if the schedule holds up. And I don’t have any jobs lined up yet afterward, so we should have more than enough time to catch up” my dad said.

“Oh, could I come down to Boston at the end of next week already? Riley apparently has something with her parents that weekend and I don’t really feel like staring at walls lonely and alone for the whole weekend. Would the ship still be unloading around that time? You promised me a tour one day” I enthusiastically spouted. After all the passive-aggressive comments from my mom, I could really use some honest father-son time now.

“Slow down there bucko” My dad interrupted me with a slight chuckle under his voice. “You are more than welcome to swing by next week. But only on one condition”

“And that is?”

“You tell me exactly where that big gaming tournament you’re playing in takes place. I get you don’t want to let your old man down in case it isn’t a success. But a dad needs to see his son compete. I’m sure you’re going to do great, even though I will probably have no idea what’s happening while you’re playing.”

The idea of my dad coming to the game was something that horrified me deep inside my core, But I also knew that saying no was not an option. My dad was incredibly good at sniffing out anything that was troubling me. Asking him not to come was going to set him off no doubt. Making the likelihood of him uncovering my crossdressing secrets even greater. I could always send him a fake address if I really couldn’t figure anything else out.

“Yes, of course. I will text you the info.” I mumbled to my dad.

“Looking forward to it! Now tell me, has anything else exciting happened in your life over the last few weeks?”

“Nothing really, life has been pretty boring.” I lied to him.

***

“Are you sure all your homework for next week is done? No nighttime projects you forgot about?” my mother asked, standing underneath the door frame to block my exit. Both her hands were resting on her hips wrapped in one of her signature black pencil skirts. “I don’t want you using this as an excuse to slack off.”

“No Mom, I have taken care of everything. Have I ever made you worry about me?” I asked while zipping up a blue sports bag and testing its weight.

My mother let out an exaggerated sigh “Please look at me when you are talking to me, Jason. You have acted a little weird over the past week. So yes, you have made me worry a little bit. But frankly, I don’t have the time to do so. That’s why I’m going to assume it’s just because of this silly little camping trip.”

Turning around to face my mother, I was confronted with a steel gaze that had become eerily familiar to me over the years. She was speaking her truth and wanted me to know it too. Almost literally swallowing my pride, I put forth my best obedient son voice. “I promise everything is fine and you don’t have to worry about me.” Only to slightly slouch down while displaying a bit of annoyance in my voice “Can I go now?”

Without making an audible response my mother stepped back from underneath the door frame and waved me through with her hand.

“Thank you,” I said and picked up the sports bag secretly packed with the new clothes I got at the mall.

My mother had been watching me like a hawk this whole week so far while judging me harshly for anything she didn’t like. Escaping her clutches for this weekend was something I had really been looking forward to. Not to mention the fact that I didn't have an opportunity to wear my new clothes either and was curious how it would feel wearing them out and about for the whole weekend.

I walked down towards the kitchen to reach the backdoor connecting to the backyard. Behind me, I could hear my mother’s heels clicking on the laminate flooring as she was following me down. Reaching the kitchen, I looked back up to her one last time before heading into a potentially crazy weekend. It had been exactly one week ago when I met Rachel for the first time, and that was not under the best circumstances. Soon I would have to deal with all 5 of them for a whole weekend, and I didn’t even know what the exact plans were going to be. At least I didn’t have to face it completely alone.

Riley was leaning against the glass-topped kitchen table and stood back up straight after she spotted me coming through the door from the hallway. “Ready to go?” she piped up enthusiastically.

I could see Riley’s mood noticeably shift as I heard my mother enter the kitchen behind me. Trying to leave the house as quickly as possible I nodded toward Riley and continued my way heading into the backyard. While being met with the chilly winds outside I turned around one final time to face my mother. “See you again on Sunday night!” and waved her goodbye.

***

“Is it bad to say that I have never seen your mom smile since your folks separated?” Riley said as we entered her room. “I really don’t understand how she can be so bitter all the time.”

Riley’s room looked neater than normal, most likely because she had cleaned up a bit when packing for the weekend. Her bag was already ready and waiting on top of her bed. Scanning my surroundings though, I swiftly focused on something completely different. It was the mirror that had given me that overly emotional experience last week, something that I had been thinking about constantly this week.

Noticing my complete apathy to her inquiry, Riley decided to answer her own question. “It's a shame your mom stuck around instead of your dad; he was the fun one.”

An instinctive feeling of wanting to defend my caregiver made its way into my brain. Only to be pushed away by that mesmerizing mirror. I couldn’t help but feel drawn towards it, and I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

“Hey hey, the mirror reveal is only going to be at the end. Basics first, so strip” Riley said boldly. Her words awakened me from my momentary trance, and I instantly started to follow my friends’ orders. Going through all the same steps as we did last week, I started by taking a shower while Riley was getting the black jumpsuit we bought at the mall ready.

No longer being oblivious to what this makeover business entailed exactly should have made me less anxious, and in a way it did. But now much of this anxiety has made a place for a feeling of anticipation. Instead of dreading the result, I was somehow looking forward to it. That is probably also why these 15 minutes felt like a complete blur from which I can’t even recall a single phrase Riley must have spoken to me. All but one thing, the words she spoke when her work was done and I stood in front of that mirror once again.

“There is Emily.” And for the slightest moment, it all clicked into place. A feeling only matched by the one from the same moment last week. But it was no longer overwhelming, instead, it was comforting. Like this was how it always should have been. There I was, Emily

Through the mirror’s reflection, I looked at Riley’s face that now resembled that of a mother bird seeing her young fly for the first time. Only to think back to the reason for last week’s fight. Did she… maybe… have a point?