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Part 5

I could just stay Bailey the rest of the summer. My stepfather's words echoed countless times in my mind. It had been about three days since he came home early and caught me dressed fully as Bailey. Initially it had been my mother's idea, but the timing was far from satisfactory. I couldn't blame her. How could she know that bastard would cut his trip short to come catch me in the act?

My mother had bought a ton of clothes for me to be Bailey. All I could think to do that Saturday afternoon, was to keep trying them on. I kept the ones I liked, and made room for them. They soon filled my closet and dresser. Even some I had discarded, my mom salvaged, thinking I'd reconsider.

I hit a happy medium with the shoes as well. All of them fit rather well except for the size five and a half pumps. My mother claimed I'd be able to fit into them eventually. So we kept them as well. She told me I'd be looking at adult sizes soon, and the choice in styles would open up. This little bit of information lightened my mood that Saturday.

Tom was true to his word. He kept his mouth shut, and acted like he didn't give a damn. I spent the rest of Saturday dressed as Bailey, going back to the tan cap-sleeve shirt my mother had chosen, and a pair of short dark jean shorts. Justin said all of a paragraph to me the whole weekend. Their silence actually became a good thing, as I didn't feel the negativity of being Bailey anymore.

By Monday things had settled down slightly. Tom had left for work early in the morning, and my mother didn't work again until Tuesday. Justin had gone somewhere with a friend, leaving me alone with mom. After a somewhat long talk with mom, and much pleading, I convinced her to take me shopping for more clothes.

We discussed what I would need. Since I had made a personal decision to be Bailey more, we had quite a few things to buy. I agreed to stick with the consignment shops for most of my clothes. My mother suggested getting some intimates and things to sleep in at a local store called Laura's. She insisted nobody would know me there.

My mother also insisted I go as Bailey before she agreed to spend more money. She stated it would show my sincerity about wanting to go through with it. I didn't hesitate at all to agreeing with her. When Monday rolled around, my mother picked out a floral summer dress for me to wear. It had a square neckline, and the hem danced atop my knees. I wore the beige padded bra and white panties with flowers on them beneath the dress.

Mother fixed my hair up into a wavy layered look. I borrowed a light pink lipstick from her. She smiled as she watched me apply it by myself. Afterwards I headed to my room and slipped on a new pair of the socks she'd bought me. I figured it would be easier to try things on if I could slip out of my clothes fast. Therefore, I chose to finish the outfit with the white mule sneakers.

I immediately learned consignment shops could be hit or miss. We came away from the first one with two skirts, a top and a cute pair of brown ankle boots. The second store we checked out went a little bit better, and we ended up with several tops, some more shoes, and a couple of dresses. I really didn't see myself as the dress type, but then again the white summer dress covered in flowers I had on was the first one I'd ever worn. The third store went even better, like we had hit the consignment store jackpot.

When we got to Laura's, I saw the sign listed lingerie, swimwear, and sleepwear. The sign fibbed a little bit, as they had a few more things inside. Several purses lined the walls, to which I wasn't interested, along with various hats. They even had a small section of shoes, but they seemed more adult oriented. I stopped in the middle of a section displaying sleepwear. My eyes fell on a satin short and top set, which looked vaguely familiar.

That's what I slept in Monday night. I still had on the pale pink satin sleepwear as I blinked awake Tuesday morning. For a few minutes I lay there, staring at the bland popcorn ceiling of my room, and listening for sounds in the house. I knew my mother and stepfather worked today. Their absence was evident from the lack of sound upstairs.

The only thing I didn't hear happened to be my brother. He was supposed to be home today. I slipped out from under my sheets. As I sat up on the side of the bed, my bare feet sank into the carpet. I took a brief moment to admire my frosted pink toenails. After realizing I could do whatever I wanted with them on Saturday, I decided to do them up on Sunday. For reasons unknown, I chose this shade of pink.

I sat there for awhile, still listening for any hint of life in the house. Before long I heard Justin talking to who I soon realized was Nathan. Their voices grew closer, coming up the stairs from Justin's room. Then I heard Justin mumble something about running plays in the backyard. Nathan mumbled something, to which Justin laughed, and then the house was silent again.

After another minute or two, I pushed myself up from my bed. I figured being Bailey today wouldn't hurt anything, considering Nathan already knew. He had found out about the whole thing when he caught me home alone the other day. As I traipsed around my room putting together an outfit, I hoped it wouldn't be too weird for them both to see me as Bailey.

I shimmied out of my satin sleepwear, draping it over my dresser drawer, and pulled out a pair of plain white panties. As I looked through my closet for something to wear, I slipped on a white padded bra to go with them. My mother had me pick out a few bras, and several more pairs of panties at Laura's. She also had me get several pairs of pantyhose, and some different colored tights. Apparently she planned on me doing this well beyond the summer.

I eventually settled on a pair of light tan Capri cargo pants I'd gotten the day before. They were so cute, and such a steal at the third store, even my mom said I had to have them. The waist closed with only a drawstring, and they could be scrunched at the bottom of both legs with little strings. For a top, I chose a white cap-sleeve shirt with "bebe" across the breasts in glittery pink letters. I gathered it all up and opened my door.

After checking the hallway twice, I scurried across it to the bathroom. I closed and locked the door behind me, tossed my clothes on top of the hamper, and made it over to the toilet. Since I'd started wearing panties, I'd gotten in the habit of sitting to pee. It was more out of convenience than anything. Not having the fly in the underwear caused me to have to pull them down anyway. So I just chose to sit all the time.

When I finished relieving myself, I wiped, and then slipped on the clean pair of panties. Another thing I'd grown quite accustomed to was tucking. It became more comfortable each time, and I continued to push my testicles up into my body. I stepped over to the sink to wash up a little bit. The cool water felt good on my face, and helped relieve the rest of my grogginess.

After a few unsuccessful attempts to fix my hair, I decided to go with untamed and wild. Mom's pink lipstick was still on the counter, so I used it again. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. I stepped into the cargo pants, and pulled them up all the way. They sat on top of my hips, and I could feel the strings at the bottom dangling against my calves.

I pulled the drawstring snug, and tied it in a bow at the waist. Then I cinched the legs in a little at the bottom, and tied them into bows. When I felt satisfied with how they fit, I pulled the shirt on over my head. The bottom of it barely came into contact with the top of the pants. If I moved at all, it showed a bit of my tan skin beneath.

I fixed a few strands of hair the shirt had messed up. I brushed my teeth, and gave myself a quick once over check in the mirror. With nothing left to do, I pulled the door open and stepped into the hallway. I scurried to my room once again. Then I slipped on my new-to-me pair of navy blue cloth ballet flats to complete my outfit. Before I stepped out of my room, I popped a piece of strawberry bubblegum into my mouth.

Justin and Nathan were tossing the football back and forth when I looked out the kitchen window. At first I was scared to go out and join them. Even though it was my backyard too, I felt like I didn't belong out there. I definitely didn't belong anywhere near a football, as I didn't know the first thing about it. Sure Tom and Justin talked nonstop about it, but they never really explained it to me.

If anything, I could go out and talk to them. Perhaps I could attempt to reopen the lines of communication with my brother. I watched Nathan jump for a ball thrown a bit high. He would talk to me at least. Unless he happened to be one of those people who didn't talk to you if he was around people his age.

After a few minutes of watching them, I decided to take a chance. I thought maybe I would take a peace offering, incase this didn't go over well. Stepping across the kitchen, I opened the refrigerator, and grabbed two bottles of water. Then I stepped back across the kitchen and opened the backdoor. The sun actually felt good having been in the air-conditioned house this whole time.

"Well hi there Bailey," Nathan said from halfway across the yard. "Looking a little more tan than the last time I saw you."

"You better stop sleeping in," Justin said. "Just because you wanna dress like a princess, doesn't mean you get to act like one. It's gonna throw you off schedule when school starts."

"I'm not worried about that," I said, as I closed the door behind me.

"Yeah man," Nathan said. "Giver her a break. She needs her beauty sleep."

"Whatever." Justin grabbed the football from Nathan's hands and walked away from him.

"You coming to watch, or you wanna run plays with us?" Nathan asked.

I chewed on my gum silently for a while before answering. "I brought you guys some water." I held the bottles up.

"Cool." Nathan walked over to take one. "Thanks."

"Like he knows the first thing about football," Justin said. "He avoids it like the plague."

"Is that true?" Nathan took a few gulps of water.

"Nobody ever really explained it to me," I admitted.

"More like you ran off when we tried," Justin said loudly.

Nathan pulled the bottle away from his lips. "I can show you." He looked me over, and then lowered his voice so that only I could hear him. "Unless you're scared of getting that pretty little outfit dirty?"

I shook my head.

"Well come on then."

Nathan took the other bottle of water from my hand, and put them both on the step of the patio. In a surprising move, he took me by the wrist and led me over to my brother. Justin gave him a weird look as we walked over. Nathan's grip felt firm, but gentle on my arm. It was so unlike Tom's cut-your-blood-off grip, that he used on me when I got in trouble. However, it wasn't exactly like Tiffany's friendly pull-you-along grip either. By the time I'd gotten used to being led around, Nathan stopped and dropped my wrist.

"Do you know the basics?" Nathan asked.

"He knows the person with the highest score wins," Justin said. He laughed a bit.

"Excuse me," I said. "I can answer for myself." I folded my arms across my chest, and chomped feverishly on my gum. "And could you please refer to me as a she."

"She what?" Justin asked through another fit of laughter.

Nathan elbowed my brother. "Come on man. Cut her some slack."

"Whatever." Justin walked over to me, holding the football up. "This is a football."

"Stop it!" I said. "I know stuff…"

"What do you know?" Nathan asked.

I pushed Justin away. The smile on his face looked like he found the cookie jar. "Well…" The left side of my face scrunched up as I thought hard for a moment about what I actually did know about football. "I know you can run or pass from Tom screaming at the television."

"Right," Nathan said. "What else?"

"This could take all day," Justin said.

I rolled my eyes at Justin, and then refocused on Nathan. "I know the basics. Like you have four downs to get a first down, and can score a touchdown, punt, or kick a field goal."

"That's pretty much all there is to it," Nathan said. "Why don't you like it?"

"It's not like I hate it," I said, chewing my gum as I talked. "I just don't get into it. Like I don't know what some of the positions are, or rules. Stuff like that."

"And that keeps you from watching it?" Nathan asked.

"She probably hates watching it with Tom," Justin blurted out. He tossed the ball to Nathan. "After this weekend, I'm starting to see what she's talking about with him."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked, tossing the ball back to Justin.

"He only cares about himself." Justin tossed the ball back to Nathan. "We got to the cabin Friday night, and all he did was talk on his damn cell phone." He pointed toward me.

"That sucks." Nathan waved with the ball to get my attention. When I was looking, he gently tossed the ball to me. "Did you catch who he was talking to?" He pointed at Justin, who was clapping his hands together for the ball.

I thought about what Tom had told me, as I tossed the ball to Justin. "He said he was calling around checking up on me," I said. "I hope it wasn't that."

"No, he did that on the way to the cabin," Justin said. "But later he was talking to someone for hours. Almost like they were old friends." He tossed the ball to Nathan. "Seemed kind of guarded about me hearing it too."

"Maybe it was business?" Nathan asked as he tossed the ball to me, again more gently than anyone ever had.

"Business is business," Justin said. "He talks about that shit in front of us." He caught the ball from me. "This was different." His hand dropped, still holding the ball. "I wonder if he's having an affair."

"Yeah…" I chimed in. "That sounds kind of unusual for him."

"Well I'm sure it wasn't anything like that," Nathan said. "Maybe just an old friend he hadn't talked to for awhile?"

"Probably," Justin said. "But he blew off the rest of the trip because of Bailey."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I'm not blaming you," Justin said. "Just stating fact."

"Well I didn't mean to ruin your weekend," I said.

"You didn't ruin it," Justin said. "Tom did that all by himself." He flashed me a quick smile, and then looked at Nathan. "Let's run some plays."

"Fine by me," Nathan said. "You wanna help Bailey?"

"Help with what?" I asked, chomping on my gum.

"The plays," Justin said.

"Can't I just watch you guys?"

"What's the fun in that?" Nathan asked. "Come on. You can play defense."

"It will help him get better," Justin said. "And maybe me too. Though that's a stretch."

"Like you're all that," Nathan said to Justin.

"I'm the fucking shit and you know it," Justin said.

"Hey," Nathan said. "Watch your language in front of the lady."

"Okay I'll do it," I said, interrupting their testosterone bath. "But I don't know how much help I'll be."

"Just try to keep me from catching the ball," Nathan said. "I can't promise it'll be easy though." He gave me a wink.

I followed him over, several feet away from my brother. He stopped at a suitable spot, and put a hand towel down on the ground. As he looked over at my brother to get a play, I sized him up. He stood over my five-foot-nothing frame by about another half foot or more. His body looked toned beneath his white tank top and silver shorts. I continued to stare at him until he turned to face me.

"The towel's the line of scrimmage," Nathan said. "So back up a bit. This isn't prom night. You can't be right on top of me like that."

"Ha ha," I said, moving back about a yard. "Here?"

"That's good," Nathan said. "Now no cheap stuff alright? You can try to slow me up within five yards of the towel, but after that you'll be doing what's called pass interference."

"So I basically just get in your way?" I asked.

"I guess you could put it that way."

"I'm good at that."

Nathan smiled at me. "Don't be afraid to go for the ball either," he said.

"We ready?" Justin asked.

"Think so," I said, chomping again on my gum.

Nathan nodded.

"Just go when I move the ball," Justin said to Nathan.

The first play they ran I stood out as an absolute failure. I stood there not knowing what to expect. Nathan took off to the right of me, and I gave chase after the rude awakening. He stopped about ten yards deep and came back for what I learned later was a curl pattern. I on the other hand kept running, expecting him to be close. He threw the ball back to Justin, and we lined up again.

"So you have a boyfriend Bailey?" Nathan asked, as he looked over to Justin for the play.

"No!" I said, with my mouth hanging open. "I mean… I have a girlfriend."

"Oh cool," he said. "So you're bi?"

Before I knew it Nathan took off running past me. I turned to try to catch up, but he caught the ball several yards away. He stopped and turned, smiling at me. I shook my head and turned to walk back to the line. As he passed me, he patted me on the head. Then he threw the ball back to Justin.

"Don't get distracted," Nathan said, turning in front of me to line up. "Keep your eyes on my waist, and it'll help you detect which way I'm gonna go."

"Okay," I said, staring at his waist. "And I'm not bi."

"Cool," he said. "So lesbian…"

I knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract me, but for some reason he made it into a little game to get personal information from me. The next play went a bit better. As he came off the ball, I put my hands on his chest to try and slow him down. He felt hard as a rock beneath my hands. When he moved his arms to push my hands down, I could tell he worked out. I back pedaled a bit, but he broke the pattern short and ran in front of me on a slant.

I stood there shaking my head as he came back. "I can't possibly be helping," I said.

"You'll get the hang of it," Nathan said. He tossed the ball back to Justin. "If anything you're a bit of a distraction. A pleasant one, but a distraction nonetheless."

"Would you quit flirting with her and line up?" Justin said. I saw him shaking his head.

"Sadly," Nathan said. "She's not into guys, or I'd ask her out."

This statement frustrated me a little bit, but I didn't know why. Nathan lined up, looking at my brother. He took off from the line for another pattern. I put my hands on his arm and pushed him to my left hard. It threw off his pattern a little bit, and I found myself in position to jump for the ball. I swatted Justin's pass down, barely touching it with my fingertips.

Justin groaned and clapped his hands together once. I walked over and got the ball. Nathan passed by me as I was tossing the ball back to my brother. He gave me a light swat on my bottom. It shocked me, and I turned to look at him. He just gave me a wink and returned to the line.

"Good job on that one," Nathan said. "Just don't break a nail."

Somehow Nathan and I found more and more opportunities to touch each other. Several times I'd put my hands on his chest, and give him a push here and there to disrupt him. I would reach up and grab his arm as the ball got to him. Most of the time this didn't stop him from catching the ball either. He was pretty good. So good, in fact, that I actually wanted to watch him in a game. This little realization bugged me more than Nathan's friendly touching.

Eventually I got the jump on a play, and ended up intercepting a pass. Surprisingly it was the same curl pattern as the first one Nathan had run. I caught it, and then kind of stopped. Before I could throw it back to Justin, Nathan rushed up and threw his arms around me. He picked me up and started swinging me from side to side.

"You gotta run with those girl," Nathan said, "or you're gonna get tackled."

Nathan swung me around a few more times. Then he picked me up higher like he was going to slam me to the ground, but instead he eased me back onto my feet. I threw the ball to Justin, then spun around to see Nathan smiling big. He tasseled my hair, and I playfully pushed him away. After he regained his balance, his smile came back, and he jogged around me to the line.

"Uh Bailey…" Justin said.

"Yeah?" I turned to look at him.

"I think Tom wants you," he said, pointing at the backdoor.

I turned to see Tom standing behind the sliding glass door. He took his right hand from his waist and waved at me to come inside the house. After turning back to give Nathan and Justin a be-back-later wave, I turned and trudged up to the door. Out of sheer nervousness, I chewed on my gum. I was afraid of what Tom had to say to me. He slid the door open as I approached.

"I need to talk to you for a few minutes," Tom said. "Come in and shut the door." He stepped back to the kitchen table and sat down.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, as I stepped inside and closed the door.

"Should you be?" Tom asked with a raised eyebrow.

Perhaps he didn't see me flirting with Nathan. "I don't think so…" I said cautiously.

"Sit down," he said, pointing to the chair opposite of him.

I strolled around the table and took a seat. Tom sat there for a moment, looking like he was finding what to say. Then he calmly placed his hands on the table. He looked me over.

"I've been discussing this with your mother quite a bit," Tom said. "Perhaps I've been a bit too hard on you." He sat up straighter. "But don't think for a second I agree with what you're doing."

Tom's statement stunned me. He never apologized for giving me a hard time. Something seemed a little off, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt as he continued to talk.

"I mean I ruined a perfectly good trip with your brother, thinking about how I could rush back here and punish you." He took an uneven breath. "I'm not going to punish you though."

"You're not?"

"Not that it would do any good," Tom said. "You seem to defy me with every step when I try."

"I'm not trying to defy you," I said.

"Then what is it?" Tom asked. "Do you miss your dad? Do you need a different male role model?" He paused for a moment, appearing to find the best question to ask. "Do you want to be a girl? Is that what this is all about?"

"I…" Somehow talking to Tom seemed hard to do. He'd never really been there to talk about feelings. I took a chance, hoping he'd have an ounce of understanding somewhere in him. "I don't think I want to be a girl," I finally said. "There's just times when it feels good."

"So this is going to be something you'll be going back and forth on?"

"I'd like to." I looked down at the table. "At least for the time being."

"Is it the clothes?" Tom asked. "Is it some kind of fantasy you want to live out with your girlfriend?"

"I don't know how to explain it," I said. "It makes me feel like a different person."

"Well I'm not going to stop you," Tom said. "I just want to lay down some ground rules for you."

"That's fair I guess," I said.

"First of all, no more sleepovers until you decide what it is you want," Tom said. "It may seem like fun and games, but you are physically a boy, and I don't want you with a girl overnight. That goes for Zach, but especially Bailey. I honestly don't want you spending the night anywhere when you're Bailey. Especially a boy's house. If you and some other boy decide you're gay…" He sighed. "Never mind that. I just don't want you spending the night anywhere until you decide who you are."

"I understand."

"I'd like for you also to take it easy around your brother and his friends." He gestured at the door. "I saw you out there roughhousing and I'm scared you're going to get hurt."

"We were just having fun," I said. Part of me was relieved he saw it as roughhousing, when I actually saw it as flirtation.

"Well fun or not, those two are older than you," Tom said. "I'm not saying keep away from them. You can talk to them or watch. Play video games inside with them if you want to play. Your mom would kill me though if one of Justin's football buddies hurt you."

"What if it's not Bailey?"

"Just the same," Tom said. "I'd rather not have you horsing around with older kids." He leaned forward. "Besides there's a bunch of stuff you could be doing around here instead."

"Like what?"

"Well you like to read," Tom said. "Read a book. And there's plenty of chores around here. Help your mom with the cleaning or laundry." He sat back in his chair. "Learn how to sew, so you can upkeep your clothes, or learn to make new ones."

"Aren't those all things you say women should do?" I asked.

"Well you want to be a girl don't you?" Tom chuckled to himself. "If you're going to be a girl, do girly things. Why don't you take up quilting or something?"

"I don't think so," I said.

"Why not?"

"I'm already made fun of enough," I said. "I don't need that on top of it."

"No, I'm done making fun of you." Tom folded his arms across his chest. "And your brother won't be commenting on anything either. Your mom and I are talking it over with him tonight, and we've decided to let you run with this."

"For how long?" I asked.

"As long and as far as you want to take it," Tom said. "Go to your little parties as Bailey. Hang out with your girlfriend as Zach. Be a girl fulltime if you want." He put his hands back down on the table. "However, I would like for you to see a medical professional to make sure you're coming to grips with it all. Will you do that?"

"I can do that," I said.

"Your mom and I talked about it over the weekend," Tom said. "We agreed to get you in to see a specialist who deals with people who have gender identity disorder."

"What's that?"

"I think we should wait until you see the doctor," Tom said. "He'll explain everything to you, and there's a better chance I'll get it all screwed up anyway."

"Okay," I said, looking down at the table again. "When do I have to go?"

"You'll be seeing Doctor Rajan Dinesh. I made an appointment for the twenty-first," Tom said. "The Monday after your party."

"Oh…" I looked up at Tom. "I don't know if I'll be going to that."

"Your mother wants you to," Tom said. "And we both think you need to get out more, even if it is as Bailey." He pushed away from the table and stood up. "So you're going." He walked over and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. "You can go back outside, but take it easy. Pass the ball around and whatnot, but no more rough contact."

I slipped out of the chair and stood behind the table for a moment. Tom calmly opened his beer. He tossed the bottle cap, along with the can opener, onto the counter. Something about him seemed completely off. Like he had swapped bodies with someone who actually gave a damn about the people around him. I watched him for a moment, as he took a rather large swig of his beer. He lowered the bottle and looked at me.

"Did you want to talk about something else?" Tom asked.

"No, I…" After a quick glance outside, I looked back at him. "Why are you okay with this now?"

Tom shook his head with a smile on his face. "I told you I'm not okay with what you're doing," he said. "I just see it as something that has to be dealt with, and it's better to come at it with a calm and rational angle. Eventually we'll all decide what's best for you. Either you'll go back to being Zach, be both, or settle on Bailey."

"If I choose Bailey, you won't be okay with that?"

"If you go that route, I figure I'll have to just deal with you being Bailey. The truth is I'm more interested in you choosing a gender, than pretending to be both." Tom took another swig of his beer, and then sat the bottle on the counter. "You know that gets me wondering," he said. "Do you even like the name Zachary?"

"Well…" I thought about it for a moment. "It's just always been my name. I guess I do."

"Do you want to change it to Bailey?" Tom asked. "You know… officially? The name can go either way, and would stop a bit of the confusion around here."

"Wouldn't that be a problem at school?"

Tom shrugged, and picked his beer back up. "I'll talk to your mom, and we'll look into it." He took another swig of beer. "You wanna be Bailey or not?"

In a series of split decisions I've had to make in my life, I think this one was one of the easiest. I nodded my head. "I think so."

"I'll talk to Susan then." Tom raised his bottle in a style equivalent to giving a toast. "We'll make you Bailey officially."

In an unusual act between the two of us, I walked over and slipped my arms around him. It had been a long time since I even thought about hugging him, let alone acted upon it. He hesitantly put his arm around me. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, but his reaching out made me want to try to patch things up. He patted my back a few times.

"Thank you," I said.

"Go on out and have fun," Tom said.

Tom broke our embrace and left the room. For the first time in my life I was actually grateful at something he did. I carried our conversation with me, as I stepped out the back door. After sliding the door closed behind me, I looked around the backyard for my brother. He was over with Nathan by the dog pen, messing with our brown and white Pointer.

I always loved animals, even though most insects scared me to death. However, I never cared much for our dog. I found him to be impersonal and he never wanted to be pet. He also lived outside, and the fact he was a hunting dog made him even less interesting. The only part about him I found amusing was his name, Buckles. He acquired it after we found out he had an affinity for fighting seatbelt buckles in Tom's truck.

"Weren't you guys supposed to be working?" I asked, taking a seat on the porch steps.

"We lost our helper," Nathan said, sporting a grin.

"I'll just watch for awhile," I said.

"Aw," Nathan said. "You sure?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I think I got too much sun this weekend."

"Suit yourself," Justin said.

My brother nudged Nathan over to start practicing plays again. For the next hour or so, I watched them run everything from slants to fades. Nathan paused in between to explain a little more about football. Justin eventually chimed in, telling me each play they were running before they ran one. It felt nice being able to talk to my brother again, even if it was about football.

After running plays, the two of them did what they called ball-handling drills. Then they both came over closer to me and stretched. Nathan innocently asked me to help him stretch. I did, but I knew he just wanted to be touched by something resembling a girl. Deep down I think he was sweet and sensitive, but he still had the typical male tendencies. By the time Nathan had to go home, I had learned quite a bit about football, but not so much about Nathan. This disappointed me to some extent.

For some reason, Saturday morning I found myself sitting at my window. I watched the street below, taking note of what happened on our block that day. To be honest, I hadn't slept well at all the entire week. I woke up three or four times a night on average from the most bizarre dreams. They weren't nightmares, but yet they were still disturbing me. I sat at the window to try and forget them.

Mostly my dreams centered around Tom. It still made me uneasy thinking about why he had changed his entire attitude toward me. Sure, my mother could be very persuasive when she wanted to be, but she always gave in to Tom when the chips were down. She was completely submissive to him, but not subservient. What changed with Tom though? Did he suddenly feel the need to relate to me?

Our neighbors across the street came out of their house, bickering and complaining to each other. It was normal for them. I tried to recount all the times the police had sent a squad car over there. They didn't have those abusive kinds of fights, but Greg, the husband, had a nasty temper. His wife, Julie, usually called the police to come settle him down. It was kind of sad, because they were a young couple, lower twenties, and would probably see divorce before they hit thirty.

A flashy red sports car flew down the road. I didn't know cars. It just wasn't the type of thing I got into. Tom used to be able to tell you the car coming down the road by the sound of it's engine. He claimed that anymore all the cars looked the same. They had no ingenuity to them, and he couldn't tell them apart. Usually about that time, he switched to talking about football with Justin, or did the "when I was a kid" speech.

That's why I found it kind of nice that Nathan took his time explaining things to me. I guess guys just assume other guys know things. Nathan treated me differently. In fact, the more I thought of how he acted around me, the more I realized he treated me like a girl. I obviously didn't fool him with my dual side. Of course, he had never seen the other side of me. Would he even want to see Zach? I might not be cool enough for him. Did I purposely want him to see me as Bailey?

Bailey… another thing that puzzled me. Tom thought it would be perfectly fine for me to change my name. Where the hell did that come from? He did have several good points about the proposed name change. It did work for a boy or girl. Obviously it would stop a lot of confusion, as I would only have one name. When he brought it up at the table in front of mom, he also pointed out my middle name, Emlyn, could go either way as well.

It took my mother about ten seconds to okay the name change. She talked with Tom about it for several minutes. Tom said he could look into the legal issues. Mom claimed she would take care of the change at school, and could probably get it all done before I started seventh grade. My brother fell silent on the issue, but when they asked him, he didn't seem to care one way or the other.

True to his word, Tom had left the house early Wednesday morning to look into it all. I knew, because I woke up around the time he left. About an hour earlier, the first time I woke up, I had watched the sunrise for the first time in a long time. Also around that time, Nathan jogged by the house. I guess he jogged in the morning when he could, and nights when he didn't get around to it.

There didn't seem to be any logical reason why I kept thinking about Nathan. Guys never really interested me beyond friendship. I had enough to worry about keeping Tiffany happy. The only thing that stood out in my mind, was the fact Nathan treated me like a normal person. He might have said he didn't care one way or the other if I dressed as Bailey, but I think he did care. At least he cared enough to include me in things. In a time where I desperately sought approval, this kind of inclusion was like gold.

Saturdays always tended to be boring. Tom had taken Justin fishing to make up for the ruined weekend trip. So I sat in my room alone. Thoughts danced around my head like the butterflies on my pajama bottoms. Nothing seemed to grab my attention long enough for me to focus on one thing. I continued to stare out my window. Several cars went by. Even outside nothing stayed in one place long enough for me to focus on it. Before long I heard a gentle knock at my door.

"Come in," I called out.

My door slid open. "You busy honey?" my mother asked.

"No," I said. "I'm just sitting here thinking."

"I was thinking too," my mother said. "I was wondering if you'd like to try something a little special today?"

"Like what?" I turned to face my mother.

"I thought we could take advantage of this time in your life to try a mother daughter day."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well…" My mother walked over and sat on the foot of my bed. "Some of the women at work got me a gift certificate for the Oasis Day Spa downtown." She reached out and touched my knee. "They do it every April for secretary day. I haven't used it yet, and I thought maybe you would like to go with me." She retracted her hand. "You know, for the experience?"

"Well that's definitely different," I said.

"If it's too much too soon…"

"Actually…" I thought about it for a moment. "I think it might be too soon for that."

"That's fine dear," mom said. "I don't want you to feel pressured into anything." She stood up and tasseled my hair. "I'll just call and cancel."

"You already made an appointment?"

She shrugged. "I thought you'd say yes."

I watched her for a moment before she left my room. My focus returned to the window, and the street below. Now all I could think about was what a spa visit would be like. I couldn't get my mind off of it, as there was nothing else to capture my interest. It seemed to be a typical boring Saturday. However, doing things while bored got me into trouble in the past.

What amazed me more is how my mother thought I would say yes. I wanted to say yes, but at the same time I wanted to be normal. Somehow going to the spa didn't strike me as a normal boy activity. The fact she had deemed it as a mother daughter day seemed even worse to me. Had I crossed some line which classified me as her daughter now? If that was the case, could I cross back over? And why did I suddenly want to go to the spa?

I jumped up from my little chair by the window. In about five steps I had cleared my room. My hand flew out to latch onto the frame of my door. The action gave me enough momentum to spin into the hallway almost in a full sprint. Then I had to slam on the brakes, as I nearly ran into my mother. She stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall with a big smile on her face.

"Change your mind?"

"Yes!" I said.

"Thought so," she said, giving me a wink.

"Well you already made the appointment," I said. "Might as well use it."

"Go take your nail polish off," she said, "and put on something comfortable. We'll leave in about thirty minutes."

I blazed back into my room. In one move I had closed my door and grabbed the nail polish remover. After carefully removing every last trace of pale pink polish I could find, I flew to my closet to find an outfit. I figured I wasn't dressing to impress, but rather dressing to undress quickly. So I started rummaging through all of the loose-fitting comfortable clothes.

Finally I settled on a pair of dark gray yoga pants. They were lightweight, and would be comfortable as it had been a bit cooler that weekend. To go with them, I pulled out a simple heather gray t-shirt with a slight V neckline. The collar, hem, and bottoms of the sleeves all had a maroon color. I put them to the side, on my bed, and went to my dresser. From the dresser, I pulled out a pair of plain white panties and a white padded bra.

By the time I'd gotten dressed, my mother came back to check on me. I sat on the edge of my bed, pulling my socks on, as she came in the door. She walked over close to me. As I finished adjusting my socks, she pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I felt her put one of those elastic hair bands around it to hold it in place. Then she watched as I slipped on my white mule sneakers.

"I made you a light breakfast," she said. "It's on the table. I want you to drink plenty of water today." She stepped toward the door. "I'm going to get ready now. We need to leave the house by nine."

Light breakfast was an understatement. She had made me a piece of toast with honey, half of a grapefruit, and set out a bottle of water for me. I had never liked the taste of grapefruit, but I managed to eat it all. Then I choked down the toast between gulps of water. I took the bottle with me to the bathroom and set it on the counter. After relieving myself and brushing my teeth, I was set to go.

My mother appeared ready to go as well. She sat in the living room, transferring items from one purse to another. When I walked in, she smiled at me. I returned the smile, and then took notice of her outfit. She had on a black skirt, knee length, with a beige short-sleeve blouse. The finishing touch was a pair of black pumps with four inch heels.

She seemed a bit dressed up for a trip to the spa. I started to wonder if she was going for herself, or just taking me there. Surely she wouldn't spend her entire gift on me. At least I hoped that wasn't the case. She worked hard, and deserved a break from time to time. Not only did she keep a house going, but her job seemed to be very demanding.

"You ready dear?" my mother asked.

"I guess so," I said. "I'm a little nervous."

"Oh don't be," she said as she stood up. "The more you relax, the better the experience. I think you'll enjoy the package I picked for you. It cost a little extra, but I want your first time to be perfect."

"Thank you," I said. "You do enough for me already."

"Well…" She put her hand on my shoulder. "I want you to see there's a softer side of life. Not everything has to be rigid." She caressed my cheek with her hand. "Sometimes us girls just need to be pampered."

"Well let's go get pampered," I said.

"Let's," she said, giving me a big smile.

Minutes later we were sitting on the freeway in her car. I never got to go downtown much. In fact the last time I had been wasn't exactly pleasant. My grandma had heart problems, and they took her to the larger hospital there. She made it through the ordeal, but I could never say I enjoyed the visit. So granted the bar was set pretty low for this current trip.

My mother, used to driving here for work, expertly maneuvered through a mindless series of loops and exits. When we pulled out onto Broadway, I finally got to see the city alive during the day time. People hurried down the busy street on both sides. Their apparel ranged from casual summer wear to sophisticated business attire. Some of the stores were still decorated with patriotic displays for the Fourth of July.

As we neared our destination, I started to get nervous. Doubt and apprehension filled me up, to the point I felt a bit nauseous. About half a block away, just past a stoplight, the sign for the spa jutted out from a large sand-stoned building. Amidst a colorful blue background, between two palm trees, were the words "Oasis Day Spa" in bright pink curly letters.

Perhaps we got there too early in the day, or they weren't busy, but we found a parking spot behind the building. I figured we would have to park in a garage and walk several blocks. After I realized my mother didn't turn off the car, I started to wonder why. When I looked up at the sign in front of us, it suddenly dawned on me. She had pulled into a spot reserved to drop people off.

"Aren't you coming in?" I asked, almost frantic.

"Of course," my mother said. "My appointment isn't for another hour though. I'll be back in plenty of time to get you."

"I don't want to go in there alone," I said.

"Honey they're expecting you." My mother turned to face me. "Besides, you're going to be alone in there for the most part. Well… not alone." She placed her hand on my shoulder. "Since it's your fist time, they'll have someone to assist you and answer any questions you have." Her hand moved to my hair. "Just go in and tell the girl at the desk your name is Bailey. Everything is set up for you."

"What about you?"

"I have some errands to run," she said. "Not to mention I need to find parking. You don't want to make me late for my appointment do you?"

"No…"

"Then go honey. You'll be fine." She caressed my cheek. "I promise."

I faked a smile. In all honesty, I really wanted my hand held on this. I didn't even know if I could make it to the door without fainting. My hand moved to the buckle on the seatbelt. As I slipped it off, my mother leaned over and pointed at her cheek. I glanced around, and then quickly gave her a peck on the cheek. Then I reached for the door handle.

"Oh!" My mother said. "I almost forgot." She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope. "Give this to the receptionist."

I took the envelope in hand. It had "Bailey" neatly written on the front, and was sealed shut. After exiting the car, my mother waved at me. I waved to her, and closed the door. She waited until I had walked around to the side of the building before she pulled out of the spot. Part of me wanted to run back to the car, but I pressed onward. Soon I found myself in front of the glass double door.

A soft melodic bell filled the air with a chime as I stepped in. The front office smelled like a botanical garden, but it barely hid the stiff office building smell underneath. At the front desk a nice young woman looked up with a smile. She had red wavy hair, obviously died, and soft makeup over her flawless skin. A pair of small rectangular glasses rested gently atop her small upturned nose.

"Welcome to Oasis Day Spa," the young woman said. "My name is Linda. How may I help you today?"

"I…" I swallowed as I stepped toward the desk. "I have an appointment for Bailey."

Linda looked down at her schedule book. "Bailey…" After a moment of pretending to search the entire United States phonebook, she tapped her finger on a spot. "Ah! Bailey!" She looked up at me. "I believe it's your first time at a spa?"

"That's correct," I said.

"Well I'm delighted you chose us for your spa experience." She looked at the schedule. "It seems you have a pretty busy day planned as well." She turned to the phone and picked it up. "You'll be assisted by Melanie today. If there are any questions, she'll be more than happy to answer them for you."

"My mother asked me to give this to you," I said, sliding the envelope over the counter. "She'll be back in an hour."

"Excellent," Linda said, taking the envelope. "I'll be sure to pass this along." She spoke quietly into the phone. "Bailey is here for her ten fifteen." She put the phone back on the pad and pointed to the door on her right. "You can step through there. Melanie will be along shortly to take you where you need to be."

"Thank you," I said, giving Linda a nervous smile.

"Enjoy!" Linda said.

I stepped over to the door, and pushed myself to open it. As I stepped through to the other side, I found myself in a small waiting area. I was about to take a seat, when a young woman walked into the room on the opposite side. Her smile made me feel at ease. She stepped across the room and extended her hand. I instantly warmed up to her, even though she looked about five or six years older than me.

"Bailey?"

"Hello," I said, taking her hand.

"Hi. I'm Melanie." She gave me a gentle handshake. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I said. "A little nervous."

"Well don't be nervous," Melanie said. "I know, easier said than done." She took my other hand. "We want you to feel relaxed, and enjoy your time here." She let my hands drop. "I'll be here if you have any questions." She looked at the thin gold watch on her left wrist. "Why don't we get you to your changing room? I'm sure once you change into a robe, you'll feel a bit better."

Melanie turned on her stylish black pumps. They had a slim four inch heel, and really made her calves stand out in her nude hose. She dressed smart, and the sophistication in her apparel made her seem even older. Her hips swayed in her black pencil line skirt, a somewhat tight knit skirt which danced around her knees. I couldn't help but watch her firm bottom dance beneath the hem of her slinky red blouse.

She slowed as we neared a door in the hallway. I watched her knock three times on the door, before she opened it. Then she spun again, this time on her toes, to face me. With a pleasant smile on her oval face, she extended her arm into the room. I brushed past her, and found myself in a comfortable, posh changing room. Melanie stepped into the room behind me, and instantly went to a small closet.

"You can put your things in here," she said as she slid the door back. "We have a robe for you." She stepped over to a counter. "There are slippers here, and a wrap if you'd like to enjoy the steam room." She faced me. "I would highly suggest the steam room, but if you don't feel up to it, a nice hot shower should help you relax. You'll have plenty of time before you meet Theresa." Her hand moved to point at a small room. "Feel free to use the private facilities in there."

"Where do I meet Theresa?"

"Oh…" Melanie took a few steps away from the counter. "I'll come looking for you when it's time for your facial. You'll have plenty of time to relax in here, or in the relaxation room." She placed her hands in front of her skirt, taking her right wrist in her left hand. "Also, feel free to wear whatever you feel comfortable in." Her voice lowered. "A lot of first timers are apprehensive about nudity, and prefer to wear their undergarments under their robes. Some even choose to wear their street clothes, but I find the robe to be a lot more comfortable."

"Do I just stay in here and wait for you?"

"You can wait in here, or you can relax in the large room down at the end of the hall at any time. We call it the relaxation room. Just turn right as you exit here. Please be advised the relaxation room is co-ed, so modesty should be observed at all times." Melanie stepped over close to me. The scent of pineapple and jasmine danced from her and settled beneath my nose. "Unless you have any questions, I'll leave you to it."

"What fragrance is that you're wearing?"

"Oh this?" Melanie lifted her wrist to her small round nose. "It's ck one." She extended her wrist to me. "Guys and girls wear it. It's especially popular with teenagers."

I leaned closer and inhaled. It smelled citrusy, yet subtle, but also had a light musk to it. "I love it."

"I can get you a sample of it if you'd like?"

"Could you?" I smiled as she moved her hand away.

"Not a problem," Melanie said. "I can go get that now." She gave me a wink. "Anything else I can assist you with?"

"I think I can manage for now," I said.

"I'll let you get settled then."

Melanie dropped a key into my hand. Then she slipped past me. She pulled an "Occupied" sign from the handle of the door, and slipped it onto the handle on the outside. After she closed the door, I stepped over to lock it. I turned back to the room and decided to look around.

The floor had thick plush carpet, of a sandy color. In the middle there sat a large oval seat, rose colored, with plenty of cushion. I sat down on it and decided to slip my shoes and socks off, knowing it would make me feel more comfortable as I got acquainted with my surroundings. My bare feet sank into the carpet as I stood. I took a stroll around the room.

On one wall there sat a large vanity with a circular mirror. I flicked on a light switch next to it, and several lights lit up the mirror. There seemed to be plenty of room for a woman to set out her makeup and fix herself up. Not that I had any on me. I put the key on the table, and flicked the light back off. The room returned to a relaxing mellow light.

I looked toward the private bathroom. Although I didn't care to experience the steam room this time around, I did feel a hot shower would be relaxing. I pulled my top off, and dropped my pants. After hanging my clothes up, I unhooked my bra and stepped out of my panties. Melanie said I could wear undergarments, so I decided to hold onto my panties. I hooked my bra over one of the hangers, and carried my panties with me to the shower.

I pulled the hair tie from my ponytail, and shook my hair out before stepping into the shower. The hot water felt so good cascading down my bare shoulders and back. They had a dispenser in the shower, which pumped out a mixed hair and body wash. It had a soothing vanilla scent, and left my skin feeling smooth and slick. I stayed in the shower for several minutes, never being able to enjoy one longer than ten minutes at home. However, I figured Melanie would be back for me, so I reluctantly pulled myself out of the shower.

I pulled a large fluffy white towel from the rack. After patting my hair and body dry, I slipped my panties back on. Then I wrapped the towel around me like Tiffany had shown me; the way women should. As I stepped out of the bathroom I finally felt relaxed. It seemed like the less I worried about trivial things, the better this all became for me.

I stepped over to the closet. My towel slipped from my body and fell into a pool around my feet. My hands reached out and felt the pale pink robe. It felt amazing, so soft and fluffy. I slipped it off of the hanger, and put my hands through the sleeves. As I closed the front around me, tying the belt snug, I noticed it had two little pockets sewn into it. I walked over and slipped my key into the right-hand pocket.

When I looked in the mirror, I noticed a little white O embroidered into the robe over the left breast. As my fingers were tracing the O, there came a light knock on the door. I didn't even think about who it was or anything. Somehow tracing my finger along the O worked me into an odd trance. Before I knew it I had reached for the handle and opened the door.

"I'm glad to see you're making yourself feel at home," Melanie said as she walked into the room. "I was able to find the fragrance you requested." She held up a small white bag with the spa's monogram written across it. "And I threw in a few other things you might enjoy." She held her finger up over her lips in a shush motion.

"Thank you," I said. "You don't have to go to all that trouble though."

"Oh it's no trouble at all," Melanie said. "It's my job." She placed the bag on the vanity table and turned to look at me. "Did you need any help with your hair?"

"I thought I would leave it as is," I said, not really thinking anything about it.

"Oh, don't be silly," Melanie said, stepping into the bathroom. "We can't have you walking around with wet hair."

She came back in with a small towel, and a pleasant smile on her face. Before I could say another word, she had stepped over to me and had started to put my hair up in the towel. I watched her happy green eyes dance, as she worked her hands around my hair. She noticed at some point and glanced down into my eyes.

"How old are you?" Melanie asked. "If you don't mind my asking."

"Twelve," I said. "You?"

"Seventeen," Melanie said. "I've been working here part-time for the past two summers, but I'm learning so much. My mother is one of the stylists here." She paused for a moment. "In fact, you might be seeing her later. Her name's Pam."

"I'll keep an eye out for her."

"She did my hair." She continued to work on my hair. "I think she's pretty good, but then again, she's my mother."

"I like your hair." I looked at her short, but spunky style. It looked like she had just woken up, but there was obvious style to it. Her dark hair seemed to go everywhere, but still retain a strange evenness.

"Well you're very cute. It might work for you," she said. "Are you starting junior high this year?"

"Yes." I went back to looking into her eyes, afraid to look anywhere else. "You think I'm cute?"

"Well, I only meant it as a friendly compliment." She looked down into my eyes. "I hope I didn't offend you."

"No, not at all," I said.

"Okay," she said. "Sometimes I talk too much, and it gets me into trouble."

"You and me both," I said with a smile.

"Oh?"

"It's gotten me into quite a bit of trouble already this summer."

"How so?" Melanie asked.

"I probably shouldn't say."

"If it has to do with you actually being a boy," Melanie said, lowering her eyes to give me a knowing look. "I already know."

"What?!"

Melanie stepped back. "All done!"

"You know?"

"We all do," Melanie said. "Your mother thought she should tell us up front incase an incident arose." She frowned at my speechlessness. "Don't let it bother you. We want you to feel at ease, which is why we're treating you like any other girl that comes in here."

"I can't believe she told you though," I said.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Melanie said. "I talk too much. I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not your fault." I stepped over and sat on the oval chair. "I was just hoping, you know… that today it wouldn't matter."

"Well it doesn't matter," Melanie said. "At least not to me, or any other woman or man in this building." She sat down next to me, crossing her left leg over her right knee toward me. "And we want you to enjoy this day like any other pampered woman would." She leaned closer to me. "By the way, don't tell anyone I sat down on the job, but these heels are killing me."

"Why do you wear them then?" I said, laughing lightly at her statement.

"Oh it's a big image thing I have to put on display for our clients," Melanie said. "Last year I couldn't wait to go back to sneakers and flats for school."

"Well you could get a lower heel."

"These make me look older though." She held her foot out and flexed it at the ankle. "Don't you think?"

"I have to admit, they do make your legs look nice." I glanced at her with a grin.

"Oh you're fine," she said, bumping me to the side. "If you're up to flirting with the help, you're up to a day at the spa."

"I suppose so," I said.

"Just pretend you're one of the girls," Melanie said. "Nobody will say anything to the contrary. I promise."

Melanie reached over and grabbed the slippers from the counter. Then she slid from the chair, and onto her knees in front of me. She held my feet up, one at a time, and slid the slippers onto them. They were fuzzy, and pale pink just like the robe. As she stood, she adjusted her skirt. Then she held out her hands, and helped me stand.

"We need to get you to your first appointment," Melanie said. "I'll be assisting Theresa, but then I won't see you again until after your manicure."

We exited the room. I walked close to Melanie's side as she took me down the hallway. When we reached the large room at the end, I instantly knew why they called it the relaxation room. They had chairs, and big fluffy couches everywhere. There were a ton of books and magazines littered all over the room. They also had aquariums and on one wall a water window.

An older lady, perhaps in her thirties, stepped out of a side room. She looked fit, perfectly proportioned, and had the healthiest skin I'd ever seen. Her bleach blonde hair was immaculately put up in a tight bun in the back. When she extended her hand, I noticed it was painstakingly groomed. Everything about the woman screamed she took excellent care of herself.

"I'm Theresa," the woman said.

I took her hand, noting it was smooth as silk. "Bailey."

"I have the room set up for you," Theresa said, pointing at the empty room from which she came. "Melanie can help you get settled in. She'll be assisting me today."

"Thank you," I said.

"I'll be in to see you in a few minutes."

Melanie led me into the empty room. I looked around and took in a few things at first glance. The most obvious thing to notice was the large table in the middle of the room. It had white sheets draped over it, with a large pillow at one end, and a smaller pillow at the other end. The second thing I noticed was three stools under a counter. I noticed the counter had a multitude of bottles and various beauty supplies on it.

"When I leave, you can put your robe on the hook there," Melanie said, pointing to a hook on the wall. "Your slippers go there." She pointed at a small stool under the hook. "You'll be disrobing, and slipping between these sheets." She walked over to the table and folded the top two sheets down at the corner. "Rest your head on this pillow, and we'll adjust the other one if we need to." She stepped to the side and faced me straight on. "This is where I have to give a speech."

"Okay," I said, giving her a small smile.

Melanie cleared her throat. "Here at the Oasis Day Spa, we adhere to the highest standards in protecting your modesty. At no time will you be asked to do anything deemed as inappropriate. If you feel uncomfortable at all, be sure to inform either myself, or Theresa." She paused for a breath. "We are here to help you relax and feel pampered. Feel free to communicate to us anything that would make your time here more enjoyable." She held her hands up, pretending to hold a sheet. "Please pull the top sheets to your armpits. Leave your bust covered tightly, but your arms exposed and holding the sheets down." She demonstrated with her pretend sheet. "Any questions?"

I shook my head. "None I can think of."

"Feel free to ask about any of the procedure," Melanie said. "Theresa will even talk you through it at your request."

"Thanks Melanie."

"You're quite welcome." She stepped around the table to the door. "Theresa will be in shortly. Please take this time to get settled in." With that, she exited the room and closed the door.

I pulled the belt loose on my robe, and slipped it off over my shoulders. After hanging it on the hook, I kicked off my slippers and put them on the stool. The carpet beneath my feet appeared to be for function, rather than comfort. It felt stiff, like cheap hotel carpet, but I wasn't looking to stand around on it for long anyway. After slipping onto the table, between the sheets, I pulled them up like Melanie demonstrated, and rested my head on the pillow. I had only been under the sheets for a minute or two, when someone gently knocked on the door.

"Come in," I called out.

The door opened slowly. "How are you today Bailey?" Theresa asked as she stepped into the room. Her voice sounded soft and melodic.

"I'm pretty good," I said. "How about yourself?"

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking." She stepped over to the side of the table where my head was at. "Let me give you a fresh, dry head wrap. Okay?"

"Okay."

Theresa set about removing the towel around my head. While she did this, Melanie came back into the room and closed the door behind her. There was a slight pause in Theresa's actions, but then she started smoothing out my hair. She held it up, and then placed it in a lighter weight wrap designed to keep my hair out of the way. Then she wrapped it up, and stepped over to the counter.

"Would you like any music or something else to listen to today?" Theresa asked. "We have harp music, sounds of the ocean, rain storm…"

"Sounds of the ocean sounds nice," I said.

"Excellent!" Theresa said. "How is the lighting? Too bright? Too dim?"

"It's fine," I said.

"Good," Theresa said, walking back over to me. "I want you to relax, and try to enjoy yourself." She held her hands to the sides of my face. "Close your eyes and relax. If you have any questions, please ask. I'll try to answer as best I can."

I closed my eyes. At my feet I could feel the sheets being lifted up just past my ankles. I felt a hand gently pick up my left foot and place it back down on a soft cushion. Then the same was done for my right foot, and the sheets were replaced. I knew it was Melanie at my feet, as Theresa started to apply a cool liquid on my throat.

"Melanie's just adjusting your foot pillow," Theresa said, as she started to rub in the liquid in small circular motions.

"What is that?" I asked.

"This is a face cleanser," Theresa said. "It will remove any traces of makeup, or any other residue left on your face."

She continued to rub the cleanser up onto my face. Her fingers moved in small circles over my chin, then down my jaw and up to my cheeks. She kept going up to my nose, and finally came back down from my forehead. I started to relax. Now I knew why my mother enjoyed this sort of thing. I felt kind of bad taking this opportunity away from some other real girl who could be in my place.

Theresa stepped away, and apparently went to the sink. I heard water running. Then I could hear her talking quietly to Melanie. Suddenly I got an image of Melanie in my head. She knew I was a boy, and still thought I was a cute girl. What was it about older girls thinking a boy pretending to be a girl was cute? Even Theresa knew, and it didn't bother her one bit. I assumed it was because they dealt with male and female clients, but then again, maybe they dealt with other people like me.

"I can start there then," Melanie said, walking past me on the left.

"You can do the second part while the mask sets up," Theresa said. She came back over to me. "Okay dear. I'm just going to remove the cleanser now, and then I'll be putting a steamed towel over your face." She started running a sponge over my throat, and then joined it with another sponge on the other side. "The towel will help open your pores and let your skin breathe."

"While she does that," Melanie said. "I'll be doing a little work on your hands, and later your feet."

"It will help prep you for your manicure and pedicure later," Theresa said.

Theresa finished wiping the cleanser off of my face with the wet sponges. I heard a stool roll up on my left side. Melanie took my hand delicately in her left hand. Starting with my index finger, she took each finger and went about cleaning my nails with nail polish remover. I was pretty sure I had gotten it all off at home, but I figured they went over them to make sure.

Theresa came back once more with a sponge, and went all over my face and throat once. Then she stepped to the counter and came back with a moist towel. She draped it on my chest, pausing briefly, I suppose incase it was too hot. Then she pulled it up to my chin, leaving my mouth and nose uncovered. She folded one corner over my eyes, and then the other, covering my forehead.

"This will stay on for about ten minutes," Theresa said. "So just relax, and I'll be back shortly."

I heard the door open and close. Then I was left with the sounds of the ocean, and the subtle sounds of Melanie working on my hands. She finished with my thumb on the left hand, and then wheeled her stool over to my right hand. I felt her pick up one finger at a time and continue with the nail polish remover. When she had finished, she stood and walked over to the counter.

She came back over and stood at my left side. I heard a plastic bottle open. Then I felt her apply a thick cream on the back of my hand. She went all the way up to my elbow with the cream. I heard her step over to my right side and repeat the process. Then she set the bottle down on the counter and came back to my left side.

Melanie started to massage the cream into my hands and arms. It felt gritty as she rubbed it in. She paid a lot of attention to my elbows, and my knuckles. Then she jumped over to my right side and repeated the process. When she felt satisfied she had rubbed the gritty cream in enough, she stepped over to the sink and turned the water on. She came back with a bowl of water and a sponge.

"That was an exfoliating cream," Melanie said softly. "It removes dead skin cells, and helps soften rough patches of skin. I would suggest you do it at home as often as needed." She started to remove the cream with the wet sponge. "The sooner you start, the better off your skin will be in the long run."

"I'll remember to do that then," I mumbled.

"It also helps get you ready for your manicure, and I'll be doing the same for your pedicure." She rang the sponge out and moved it back over my arm. "Theresa will be doing the same to your face when she comes back in."

After cleaning my left arm off, she went over to the right to repeat the process. She stopped in between to get a clean bowl of water. When she seemed satisfied she had removed it all, she went back to the sink to clean the bowl and sponge. She came back and put another oily substance on my arm. Then she started massaging it in.

"This is olive oil, with a lavender extract," Melanie said. "It's what I use, and it leaves your skin feeling oh so smooth. I absolutely love it. Use it all the time after each shower." She leaned closer to my ear as she continued to massage my arm. "I put a bottle in your bag to take home with you."

"Thanks," I said.

"Don't mention it," Melanie said. "No really… don't mention it." She giggled a little.

"I won't," I said, enjoying her light mood.

Theresa came through the door about a minute later. She stepped over to the counter and I could hear her getting something prepared. Then I felt her removing the towel from my chest. She pulled it up slowly to my chin. After a short pause, she continued to pull the towel from my face. She leaned over me, and pushed and poked at my skin for a minute.

"I'm going to use a light exfoliating cream now," Theresa said. "It will get rid of dead skin cells and help promote new growth."

She started to rub something on my throat and chin. Using circular motions as she did before, she brought the substance up onto my face. It smelled like pumpkins. I also noticed it wasn't as gritty as the cream used on my arms. Theresa continued to apply it until she had my face covered.

Melanie moved over to my right hand and started to massage the olive oil into my skin. Theresa, meanwhile, came back in a minute or so and started to remove the exfoliating cream. When she had finished removing it all, Theresa came back and started to massage my shoulders. She moved back and forth from my shoulders to my chest. Then she started massaging the sides and back of my neck.

All of the stress I had dealt with since Tom caught me as Bailey, started to melt away. However, thinking about Tom also brought recent questions to my mind. I didn't quite understand his mood change toward me. He obviously didn't agree with what I was doing, but yet he wanted me to do it. Then he wanted me to pick a gender. I thought nature had already done that for me. Nothing made sense anymore.

Theresa moved to my temples and started to rub in circular motions. Melanie finished with my hand and right arm, but then I felt her stoop over me. I felt more olive oil string across one shoulder to the other. Then Melanie started massaging the oil into my upper arms, chest and shoulders. Theresa continued to work on my temples until Melanie finished.

They both seemed to taper off the massage, and then moved over to the counter together. I heard water running once more, and a few mumbled words between them. Eventually Theresa came back over to me. She began rubbing another cream on my face that smelled a bit like mint. I noticed it was a lot stickier and heavier than anything else she had used.

"This is called a mask," Theresa said, somehow noting my curiosity. "It will take about ten to fifteen minutes to set up." She continued to spread the cream over my cheeks and temples. "It will harden a bit and feel like it's pulling at your skin." She spread it over my forehead. "I'm using a balanced mask for your young skin. It will help with oily and dry areas your changing skin might have."

"While that sets up," Melanie said, pulling a stool to the foot of the table. "I'll be working on your feet and lower legs."

"Okay," I said.

Theresa leaned over me. "Try not to talk a lot or move your face with this on."

"Okay," I repeated.

"Good girl," Theresa said. "I'll be back in about fifteen minutes." She finished applying the mask. Then she washed her hands, placed a cucumber slice over each one of my eyes, and left the room.

I was left alone with Melanie once more. She had lifted the sheets up just slightly past my knees. As I lay there in silence, Melanie started going over my toenails with nail polish remover. She took her time, doing one toe at a time. When she seemed satisfied, she put a thick line of the exfoliating cream on each leg, from my knees down to my toes.

She stepped over to the counter momentarily to put the nail polish remover up. Then she came back to my feet and started rubbing the cream in. She paid special attention to my knees, heels and the balls of my feet. Each leg was thoroughly covered from the knees down. After a few more minutes of rubbing, Melanie moved over to the sink.

Once again she came back with a bowl of water and a sponge. I could feel the mask start to harden as Melanie started to remove the cream from my legs. She started at my knees, making sure to get it off of the backs of my legs. Then she dragged the sponge down my legs to my ankles. When she reached my feet, she took great care in removing the cream between my toes.

A minute later Melanie was back at my feet. She dribbled olive oil in zigzag motions down my shins. Then she began massaging the oil into my legs. After Melanie massaged the oil into my calves and shins, she moved to my knees. A few times her hands slipped up my thighs under the sheets, but not enough to make me feel uncomfortable. It felt good.

Eventually she moved the massage on down to my feet. She made an effort to massage the oil into each toe, and between them as well. Her thumbs rolled across the soles of my feet. From the amount of time she spent on them, as opposed to everywhere else, I wondered if she had a foot fetish as well. Maybe she was reflecting her own discomfort of her feet onto my feet. My curiosity was squelched when she started talking again.

"I've been learning massage techniques and how to care for feet," Melanie said. "They even have me assisting with your pedicure today."

"You're doing a wonderful job," I mumbled through the mask.

"Well thank you," Melanie said. "That's very kind of you to say." She continued to massage my soles, rolling her fist into the arches. "I'm thinking of becoming a podiatrist. You know? A doctor specializing in feet."

"Sounds like you got your future planned out," I said. "I don't know what I want to be."

"Well you have plenty of time to decide on a career," Melanie said.

"Oh…" I lowered my voice. "I meant boy or girl. I've been going back and forth on it in my mind ever since this all started."

"Oh I see," Melanie said. "Well if you don't mind my asking… Do you enjoy being a girl?"

"I'm enjoying it right now," I said with a slight laugh.

Melanie slapped my right foot gently. "I'm serious." She went back to massaging my foot. "Do you enjoy it?"

"I do at times."

"Is it the clothes or do you like fooling people?"

"I never did it to fool anyone," I said. "At least not on purpose." I shifted a little, feeling a bit uncomfortable from the questions. "I do like the clothes though."

"They are fun," Melanie said. "Guys clothes seem boring to me." She sat silent for a moment before popping the next question. "Do you try to act like a girl?"

"Again, not purposely," I said. "My girlfriend says I do even when I'm not trying."

"Oh you have a girlfriend?" Melanie asked. "What's her name?"

"Tiffany," I said. "Her sister Kate is your age."

"Kate Stewart?"

"Yes…"

"I know her!" Melanie said. "I had three classes with her last year. Wait a minute!" She stopped massaging my foot and held it in her hand. "Was that you at the pool party with Tiffany?"

"Yes," I said nervously.

"I wouldn't have even guessed…" Melanie took my left foot in her right hand. "I mean I never put you together with…" She started to massage both feet together. "Wow! To think there was a boy there besides Rebecca's annoying brother." She let out a small laugh. "Well, I guess in all honesty there really wasn't." She shook my feet. "I mean no boy would wear a swimsuit like that."

"I suppose not," I said.

"Did you want to learn how to be more feminine?" Melanie asked.

"How do you mean?"

"Walking, talking… You know? How to act the part?"

"I never really thought about it," I said. "Was just doing this for fun and it got a bit out of hand."

"I would love to work with you," Melanie said. "We can all get together and work on it."

"I don't know…"

"Oh please?" Melanie begged. "It would be so much fun."

"I guess we could," I said. "I'm over at Tiffany's quite a bit."

"I'll call Kate then," Melanie said. "We can set something up." She held my feet firmly for a moment. "Oh this is going to be so much fun!"

After a light knock on the door, Theresa breezed back into the room. Melanie finished up the massage, and pulled the sheets back down to cover my feet. I heard them both over at the sink, mumbling beneath the running water. Theresa came over to my face and carefully removed the cucumber slices. Then she set about wiping the mask off with sponges.

Melanie came over to my left side. "Bailey…" She placed her hand on my arm, causing me to open my eyes. "I'm going to go inform them you're ready for your manicure. I'll be seeing you a little later on." After giving me a knowing wink, she removed her hand and stepped back.

"Thank you," I said.

"Take care," Melanie said, before exiting the room.

"I noticed you have a healthy tan," Theresa said as she stepped back over to me. "I'm just afraid you got a bit too much sun. I'd like to give you a moisturizer to help restore damaged skin. It needs to be applied daily for a couple of weeks. This is what you'll be using." She started to apply the moisturizer to my throat, neck and face. "It has a nice subtle cherry and vanilla scent for summer."

"It smells very nice," I said.

"I'll have the moisturizer up front for you when you leave. Just remember… once a day for two weeks," Theresa said. "Although you don't have to stop using it then if you like it." She started to unwrap my hair. "In fact, I would suggest you continue to moisturize daily if you'll be in the sun a lot." She pulled the wrap from my head. "Take a minute or two getting up, and then you can dress and wait out in the relaxation room."

"Thank you Theresa," I said. "You were wonderful."

"Well thank you," Theresa said. "It was nice to meet you Bailey, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day here."

"Goodbye," I said.

"Take care now," Theresa said before leaving the room.

I waited about a minute to get up, making sure nobody would come back in the room. Then I slipped my legs out from under the sheets. I sat there on the table for a moment, letting my legs dangle from the side. As soon as the blood came back to my extremities, I stepped down off of the table. I walked over and slipped on my robe and slippers, then I exited the room.

Out in the relaxation room, I took a bottle of water from a table filled with snacks and drinks. I stepped over to a large pillow-cushioned chair and curled up on it. For several minutes I just sat there, taking sips of water from the bottle. Soothing harp music filled the air. My face felt full of life, and my feet felt like I'd never walked a day in my life.

I began to wonder if I could start to enjoy being a girl fulltime. Sure Tom wouldn't agree with it, but my body sure as hell agreed with it. I felt so good at that moment, so relaxed and so sure of myself. As I sat and dreamed about what it would be like to live as a woman, a young woman in her twenties came in and sat across the room from me. I watched her for a moment pick up a magazine, and then she spotted me.

We exchanged smiles. I went back to sipping my water. For a moment nothing could be heard but the harp music from the speakers overhead. I heard the woman flip a page of her magazine. Then out of the blue, she dropped the magazine and looked at me. I sat frozen for a moment until she tossed the magazine down on the table, and grabbed another.

"Bailey?"

I turned to see a young black woman standing at the end of the room. She was a bit heavy set, but had a lovely complexion. Her black hair, straightened, was put up much like Vivian Bank's hair on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I motioned in the affirmative to her. Then I straightened myself out in the chair, prepared to stand and follow her.

"Well come on girl," the woman said. "Let's go make them nails pretty."

I smiled at her, removing myself from the chair.

"Name's Tonya." She extended her hand.

"Nice to meet you," I said, shaking her hand.

"We'll be in here," Tonya said, taking my water bottle and ushering me into another room.

Tonya stepped into the room behind me, placing my bottle on a counter by the door. The room had several tables setup with a padded chair on one side, and a conventional desk chair on the other. Tonya walked me over to the padded chair and helped me into it. She walked around to the other side and took a seat. Then she fidgeted with a few things on the table. Eventually she seemed satisfied with everything, and gave me a big smile.

"Go on and put your hands up here," Tonya said, patting a large soft pad.

I put my hands up on the table. Tonya reached out and took my right hand, examining it for a moment, and then she examined the left. I noticed she had some very soft hands. She rolled the sleeves of my robe up to my elbows. After this she pulled a small kidney-shaped basin over and placed my hands into the warm water inside of it.

"You have some lovely little hands," Tonya said. "Don't think I'll have to do much at all to them." She smiled pleasantly at me. "We'll just doll them up for you."

"Thank you," I said.

"Most girls your age be bitin' their cheap polish off," Tonya said. "Drives me crazy having to fix all of their torn up nails." She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Now I want you to take good care of these hands, you hear?"

"I will," I said with a small smile.

"Keep them soft to the touch, and your nails well groomed. Can always tell a lady by the way they take care of their hands," Tonya said. "You probably know that from watching Gone with the Wind though. Am I right?"

"I'm afraid I haven't seen it," I said.

"Girl, you need to watch that," Tonya said. "It's a classic! In fact, read the book." She sat back shaking her head. "Always good for girls your age to be well-read."

"I'll do both then," I said.

"That's my girl," Tonya said. "Good for you."

She let my hands sit in the basin for a few minutes, before taking my left hand out and placing it on a towel. Then the jovial Tonya started to apply a cream onto my nails, as she hummed quietly. She set the bottle down, and I read "cuticle softener" on the label. To be honest, I didn't have a clue what a cuticle even was until that day. Tonya massaged the cream a little bit into base of my nails.

After about a minute or two, she wiped my nails off with the edge of the towel. Then she took a stick and started pushing back my cuticles. If anything, I could say I learned at least one thing that day that I never knew before. She went from nail to nail, pushing the cuticle back. When she finished with the stick, she came back to my pinky and ring finger with scissors that looked like little pliers, and snipped some rough skin away.

She placed my hand back into the basin, and took out my right hand to repeat the process. Several minutes later she had both hands out on the towel. I watched her go from nail to nail with a file, shaping my nails into an oval shape at the ends. Next she came back with another type of file and started working on the top of the nails. She called it buffing, and I noticed it made my nails smooth.

"Alright girly girl," Tonya said, dipping my fingers in the water a couple of times and then wiping them dry. "What color can I set you up with today?"

"What do you have?"

"Anything your little heart desires," Tonya said, standing up and walking to a large counter on the other side of the room. "Red, blue, French manicure. You could even go a little wild with that tan. Maybe do a yellow or orange." She looked back at me. "But you look more like a pink type of girl to me." She smiled. "Am I right?"

"I do tend to wear pink on them quite a bit," I said.

"I thought so girl," Tonya said. "Which would you like? Carnation? Rose?"

She brought over a chart of pinks for me to look at. I went with my first instinct. My finger landed on the first color that caught my eye. Tonya gave me a big smile.

"I thought you'd pick that one," Tonya said. "Shocking pink." She put the chart back over on the counter. "Even brighter than hot pink. Perfect for a bright young girl like yourself."

She came back over to her chair with the nail polish. After sitting down, she took a bottle of base coat and set it between my hands. I watched her open the bottle, and then she gathered up my left hand in her left hand. For the next several minutes I watched each nail go from dull, to shiny. Then they went from shiny to bright pink, and finally shiny bright pink. Tonya set my hands down gently to let them dry.

"There we go Bailey," Tonya said. "Boys will be dying for you to touch them with those soft girly hands now."

"I don't really get attached to boys," I said, trying to avoid the awkwardness of her last statement.

"Girl that's okay," Tonya said. "I don't either." She laughed a bit. "But they always fun to toy with."

I even had to laugh at her sentiment. "I guess so."

"Melanie will be in here in a few minutes to take you for your pedicure," Tonya said. "I'll send this color along. I just know you want them cute little toes to match."

"Thank you Tonya," I said. "I enjoyed having you do my nails."

"Don't mention it girl," Tonya said. "I like you. You're good fun." She held her finger up, like giving me a lecture. "Now you go easy on them nails for about half an hour. Don't want to go messing up my work now."

"I'll go easy," I said. "Promise."

"Good girl."

"Nice to meet you," I said.

"Come back and see me anytime girl," Tonya said before slipping out of the room.

About twenty minutes later I found myself sitting in a large comfortable chair. My feet sat in a basin of bubbling water and bath salts. Melanie stood over with a older woman named Emily. The skinny Emily, perhaps in her late forties, was explaining to Melanie the steps they were taking during my pedicure.

I recalled Emily staring down her pointed nose, past her wire-framed glasses, at me with her gray eyes, while she asked me if it would be alright for Melanie to use me for a learning experience. I happily agreed. Maybe if I was older I would've preferred to enjoy the spa in silence. However, at my young age, it didn't really bother me for people to talk. It actually made me feel at ease.

So Emily took Melanie through the steps of a pedicure. They soaked my feet in the bath for about ten minutes. Emily had instructed Melanie to take my left foot out and scrub at it with a small stiff brush. Then she had her repeat the process with my right foot, and put them back in to soak for a few more minutes. The whole time she instructed Melanie with a quiet, reserved, and at times a dry voice.

I sat back and tried to enjoy myself. As she instructed Melanie to work on my heels with what she called a pumice stone, I took small sips from my bottle of water. Emily explained the pumice stone would leave my feet feeling smooth and silky. Once Melanie had done both feet, Emily went back over them to double check. The rest of the pedicure was done solely by Emily, but she continued to instruct Melanie on what she was doing.

Emily followed the pumice stone with cuticle softener, and pushed my cuticles back like Tonya had done to my fingernails earlier. She took a lot more time with the scissors than Tonya had. Emily continued to find more and more places to dig callused skin out to clip. I have to admit later, that due to her thorough job, my feet felt amazing.

Next she clipped, filed and buffed my nails. Finally she finished them off by painting them up in the same shocking pink as my finger nails. Melanie really seemed stricken with the color I chose. Knowing what she knew about me, she probably thought I was more girl than boy. Truth be told, at the moment I felt more that way.

Emily left me with Melanie to finish up. Melanie drained the basin I had my feet in. Then she went about wiping up any spilled water. I sat back in the chair and relaxed as I was told. Eventually Melanie finished up her work and stood before me. I sat up to look at her.

"We're going to let you sit in here for about ten minutes," Melanie said. "It will be plenty of time for your nails to dry." She stepped to the door. "So just relax, take it easy, and drink your water. I'll go inform Pam you're ready for your cut and style."

"Cut and style?" I asked looking at her confused.

"Your haircut silly!" Melanie said. "You're going to look so cute when my mother gets done with you." She smiled. "I'm sure nobody will be able to tell you're a boy when she's done."

Melanie gave me a wink, and quickly left the room. I was speechless. Not once did my mother mention cutting my hair. She absolutely didn't mention I'd be unrecognizable as a boy when this day was through. I felt like running out of there at that very instant. The only problem was, all I could think about was not ruining my nails. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with my family!? And where was my mom?

---

 
 
To Be Continued...