The Twelve Days of Christmas - Day 12

The Twelve Days of Christmas By Tiffany B. Quinn Fortunately, I have access to my new nightgown drawer again. I pick a shorter flannel nightgown for tonight. After cleaning off my makeup, brushing my teeth and admiring my new studs, I braid my hair and crawl into my parent's bed wondering what tomorrow’s epiphany will be.

Friday Jan 6: Day 12 - The Epiphany

The first thing that I notice as I wake up this morning is that I am not feeling well and I don’t want to get out of bed. I am still tired and having mild stomach cramps and my breasts are tender. I recognize these as the signs of PMS that I read about online last night after talking with Sam.

At least I was warned. I am glad that I added one of those sanitary pads to my panty last night.

As I make my way to the bathroom to start my day, I am pretty sure that I am experiencing some drainage down there.

Sure enough, there is blood in the pad when I pull my panty down and sit on the toilet. I put my head in my hands and groan.

“What do I do now?” I ask the universe.

“You fold it over, wrap it in toilet paper, and put it in the trash,” I look up in surprise to see my mother standing in the bathroom doorway wearing a long white flowing dress. She looks absolutely radiant. “Don’t ever flush sanitary products down the drain, sweetheart.”

“Mom?” I ask in disbelief. “You are here?”

“Yes, I am,” she smiles at me, “I couldn’t let my little girl start her first period alone.”

“Oh, mom,” I say with tears in my eyes, “I have so much to ask you.”

“And I have a few things to tell you, my sweet Karla,” she says lovingly, “but let’s get you cleaned up and dressed for the day.”

She guides me through the procedures for dealing with flowing blood while showering and getting ready for the day. On mom’s advice, I take some Motrin which does easy the discomfort from cramping.

As I am dressing, she smiles, promises to see me downstairs when I am ready for breakfast, then fades away.

I quickly finish dressing in the pant suit and ankle boots that are laid out for me. I do a poor job with makeup and fixing my hair before rushing down to the kitchen.

Waiting for me at the breakfast table are my parents. On the table are also my morning yogurt, a banana, and some orange juice along with my coffee. The scene reminds me of old family times.

“Come sit with us, daughter,” my father invites me to the table with them. He is dressing in some kind of white robe.

With tears in my eyes, I cautiously approach the table and sit down, wondering when this dream will fade. “Mom and Dad, I’ve missed you so much.”

Mother gives me a gentle smile in reply, “Karla, darling, we miss you too, but we do get to watch you from afar from time to time. We look forward to the time when we can be reunited but not just yet. We want you to enjoy a long and full life before that happens. In the meantime, we can only stay for a short time. There are a few things that we would like you to know.”

“Yes,” my father agrees, “like why this has happened to you.”

“The question has crossed my mind,” I admit.

“Princess,” my father explains, “The bottom line is that you just haven’t made moves towards your destiny. You’ve been so focused on your career that you have been oblivious to what your real destiny is. Your destiny, and the destiny of others, is greatly influenced by what you choose to do in this life. Your destiny is also dependent of the choices of others. Everyone's choices are interconnected. But you also need to realize that there are only a few things that you take with you when you pass and these are the most important things in life: Your character, your knowledge, and your relationships. These are the things that you should work on above all else. Your choices have a huge impact on these.”

“You have a great heart,” mom picks up the thread. “You are honest and true. You have a track record of acknowledging other people’s feelings, but you are prone to overlook other people’s needs when you are focused on your own goals. I think you will find that your tunnel vision has already caused you to miss great opportunities for your development outside of your career. For one, you have already lost the opportunity to connect with your soulmate. She wanted you desperately, but you were so distracted that you never even noticed that she existed. She eventually gave up and married someone else. Which is too bad because you both would be much happier if you had married her. The man she ended up marrying your friend Joanna would classify as an asshole and he is making her life a living hell. She will be seeking someone like Joanna to help her in the near future. Your choice to ignore relationships has had a very negative impact on her life and the lives of her two children by the asshole.”

“Who was it?” I ask while racking my memories to for someone, “It wasn’t Judy was it?”

“No dear,” mom says, “Judy wasn’t the one. You will never know who she is, but with the loss of that opportunity, there has been a shift in what the future holds for many people. The shift is not necessarily good.”

“We were very disappointed when we found out about your failure in this matter,” dad points out.

“While you may be a rising star in the engineering world, you must not neglect the weightier matters. You must continue in your engineering work, but just realize that it is not to be your most important work.

"By the way, when you get to where we are now, you will find that the world’s knowledge of science and engineering barely scratches the surface.”

Mom picks up from there, “Yes dear Karla, you have a good character and are developing a large store of useful knowledge, however you were not developing the relationships that you should. I tried to push you in that direction as you grew up, but you were oblivious to my best efforts. When we reached our current place, we discovered that you had already missed out on the greatest relationship of your lifetime as a man. Then we were shown the impact of your failure and it isn't pretty. There are a lot of people where we are who fear that your failure will have devastating effects on the lives of many of their loved ones.”

“How can that be?” I ask bewildered. “I am one small cog in the world?”

“You know that it only takes one weak element to allow devastating failure in a structure,” dad points out. “Consider the weakest link theory. One small cog in a machine can be very important, particularly if that cog fails to do its part.”

“Also,” mom picks up the theme, “consider the butterfly effect. A seemly mundane and trivial decision can lead to a shift in the direction that the world takes.”

“And this butterfly made the wrong move?” I said.

“Yes,” mom’s smile is sad, “Missing your soulmate darkened the future for everyone.”

“But,” my father says, “All is not lost. The general opinion is that you, and the world, can have a second chance, but you will have to do it as a woman. The changes that have occurred to you, we hope, will break you out of your single focus life and broaden your perspective. Nothing else has. In your new role you have an opportunity to link with a great man and the two of you will stand together as equals to have a huge influence for good in the world.”

“You have much to learn about being a woman,” mom instructs me. “That is why you have three new best friends. Anita, Joanna, and Jane are meant to be your guides in your journey of discovery. But remember, Karla darling, friendship runs both ways. Stay aware of their feelings and challenges and be there for them in their times of need and they will continue to be there for you. They will, at times, need your support as much as you need theirs. The four of you are destined to be close friends throughout your lives.”

“Your nights of wild passion,” my father continues the line, “were not just random debauchery, but the experience emotionally tied you together with each of the two women. Sex between friends is never casual, especially for women. Remember that as you develop relationships with men. Sex can cause immense emotional damage if incorrectly used. Used correctly, it can bind two people together stronger than any other expression of love.”

“Yes,” mom agrees, “you really should reserve yourself for your soulmate. Anita and Joanna have already given themselves unwisely to men who would never love them and it has affected them deeply. Their time with you showed them what they can have if they hold out for men who truly care for them. They will be much more discriminating in the future. When you find your soulmate, knowing that you have saved yourself for him will make your bond to him so much sweeter and the sex so much better. Sex is best used as a manifestation of a couple’s love.

"Your two nights of wild sex were an anomaly for your two friends," mom continues. "Neither of them have ever participated in casual sex before. I have to admit that we were able to block their natural resistance to the idea, but it worked to emotionally connect you to each of the women in ways that could not have been otherwise accomplished since you were respectful of them and treated them as equal partners. You showed them what can be with the right man. Jane already knows this. Both women have a much deeper respect for your goodness than they had before. They also found that you can be a fun friend. You will see the benefit in the coming months and years.

"Follow your father's advice," mom adds. "Your mission is to find the man who is your soulmate. He is out there. Please don't do anything to screw up again."

"Yes," my dad agrees with mom. "He is out there. You will know in your heart when you have found him."

“I suppose that this is where I enter the conversation,” a very pretty young woman dressed in white fades into view, occupying the fourth seat at the table.

“Yes, Karen,” my mother smiles at her. “Thanks for joining us.”

“Karla,” Karen addresses me, “you have become a very lovely young woman. As you mentally settle into your new reality you will struggle with the new perspective. Even now, though you are doing so well, you don’t really feel at home as a woman. Be patient. Your mind will fully merge with your body and you will come to find, over the next few months, that you will be more comfortable being female. Learning the things that every woman learns growing up from girlhood will help. This just takes time.”

“You are Sam’s Karen?” I question her.

“Yes,” she says, “Sam is the only man that I have ever truly loved and it has been breaking my heart to see him suffer so much since I had to leave him. But I now see things that no living person does and I am no longer sad for myself but I am worried about him. I just want him to move forward and find love again. Love makes life worth living.”

“Am I to be his new love?” I question her.

“Maybe, or maybe not,” she gives me an vague answer. “That will be for the two of you to discover for yourselves. We cannot make that choice for you. It may be a difficult choice for you as you are dealing with the shift to a whole new existence. All that I ask is that you be honest and open with him. Please don’t trample on his heart. If you develop love between you, I will be happy for both of you. If not, if you treat him well, he will see that there is still a chance for happiness in his life. Just listen to your heart and you will know if Sam is the one for you, or not.”

“Karla,” my mother interjects. “Confronting the confusing feelings one experiences as new love is explored will help you to further cement your female identity. Sam is a very good man and will be patient as you struggle. Be kind to him as he is struggling too.”

“Just know,” Karen assures me, “that I am very happy that my beloved Sam has connected with you. It makes my heart soar to see him come out of his misery.”

“Oh, Karla,” my mother says with much feeling, “how I wish I could hug you and assist you through the coming years as a mother should be there for her daughter. Unfortunately, even though you have many questions, it is time for us to leave you. Please follow your heart and find your new soulmate. There is a lot riding on your choice.”

“Will I see you again?” I ask hopefully.

“Not in this life,” my father sadly replies, “but we will see you and love you from afar. Just know that we love you and pray for your success.”

Karen smiles at me, “Again, Karla, please be a true friend to Sam.”

“One last thing,” my father says. “As your priorities change, you will be tempted to sell out to Jim. Don’t do it quite yet. The company will see a large increase in business over the next couple of years, and not only with the new structural department. The firm will be worth substantially more as it grows. Trust Jim to guide the firm's direction - he knows what he is doing. He is an even better business man than he is an engineer, and he is one of the best engineers in the area. If you do decide to sell out, take the structural department with you and start your own firm. You will be glad that you did.”

“Thanks Dad,” I smile back as the three of them start to fade from view.

“And,” mother gets in a last word just before they are gone. “You are on your own now. I can’t help you select your wardrobe anymore. Your friends will help you develop a fashion sense.”

Tears stream down my face as my three special visitors fully fade away.

Damn. I will have to redo my makeup, but I don't care.

I notice four small boxes laying in the middle of the table, each with the name of one of my foursome of friends on it.

Noticing my untouched breakfast, I absently nibble at it as I wipe away my tears and contemplate the meaning of the amazing, all too short, visitation. How I wish that we had had more time!

My contemplation is broken by a notification ding from my phone.

Anita: Did you get a note and gifts today?

Me: No note, a visitation instead. Today’s gift is a bloody period.

Jane: Poor baby.

Joanna: I want to hear about the visitation. Lunch again today?

Me: Same place and time.

All three women quickly agree. Today is the last work day that Jane and Anita have before they return to classes next week, so they can make it.

Looking at the kitchen clock, real life catches up to me.

Damn, I am late again!

----<0>----

I scowl at Theresa as I breeze through the atrium to my office. I don’t feel great, damn period.

I have a short meeting with Jim and Celeste to update them on Dr. Lake’s conclusions before getting to billable work.

Apparently, I am not pleasant company this morning.

A couple of hours after arriving at work, Celeste confronts me.

“Karla,” she growls at me, “what is your problem today? You are not making any friends with your grumpy attitude.”

“Damn period,” I grump.

“Really?” She seems genuinely surprised.

“Really,” I confirm. “It’s a bitch. How do you women put up with this?”

She has the audacity to laugh, “Welcome to womanhood, Karla, you are now truly one of us. I can’t tell you how many times women wish this on men when they poke fun at us when we are on. It has finally happened!”

“Laugh all you want,” I scowl at her. “I am not a man anymore.”

“Apparently not! Well, girl,” she takes on a drill sergeant attitude, “put your big girl panties on and deal with it. It is not going away anytime soon, and it is not an excuse for poor behavior or pity. Don’t let it interfere with your work or responsibilities. Billions of women push through their periods every month. So can you.”

There’s me being told off.

“Yes, ma’am,” I meekly reply. “I will try.”

“Just let me know if you need any help figuring out what to do,” she kindly tells me. “The first time is a real learning experience.”

----<0>----

“Are you alright in there?” Rachel asks with concern through the bathroom stall door.

She obviously heard me muttering to myself as I work out what to do with a bloody sanitary pad and install a new one. I am not quite up to sticking a tampon in me.

“What do you do with a bloody pad?” I ask through the door.

“Really?” She sounds surprised, “you are having a period?”

“Yes, damn it!” I growl back.

“Wow!” is all she says.

“What do I do with this pad?” I ask again.

She instructs me on the proper procedure for disposing of the pad. I was wondering what the extra dispenser in the stall was for. It contains some little wax coated bags made just for this eventuality.

When I finally exit the stall, I put the used item in the trash and go to wash my hands.

Rachel gives me a quick hug, “Welcome to womanhood.”

Rachel, being the gossip that she is, ensures that the news of my condition quickly spreads through the office. Any lingering doubts about the extent of my transformation are dispelled.

Women I meet give me knowing smiles and the occasional, “Welcome to the sorority.”

Most of the men seem to avoid me. A few sexist jerks smirk but are wise enough to keep their mouths shut.

----<0>----

I am the last to arrive, again, for lunch.

As I sit down at the open seat, I find three small gifts at my place.

“What is this?” I wave at the gifts.

Jane smiles, “Those are your birthday presents.”

“My birthday isn’t until next summer,” I point out.

“But today is the birth of your womanhood,” Anita points out. “Your period declares that you are now fully Karla.”

“Also,” Joanna points out, “Today is the Epiphany. The day that tradition holds that the three magi delivered their presents to the Christ child. While you are not the Christ child and we are not three wise men, these three friends decided that you need something to celebrate the birth of your womanhood.”

“Open them,” an excited Jane encourages.

The first is a pair of very beautiful gold drop earrings with three small stars, each adorned by tiny garnets, hanging from each clasp.

“Garnets are January’s birthstone,” Jane gushes, “I hope that they remind you of your new birth.”

The second gift is a small bottle of Chanel No. 5 perfume.

“This is one of the most popular perfumes of all time,” Anita rushes to inform me. “Every woman needs a bottle. I hope that you like it.”

Gift number three is a bottle of Lavender scented bath oil.

Jane informs me, “About a dozen drops in your bath water will not only moisturize your skin, but relax your senses. It is comforting when you are having your period.”

The other women agree.

While not exactly the gold, frankincense, and myrrh described in the Bible, the gifts lavished upon me by my three "magi" are wonderfully symbolic gifts for my emergence as a woman.

Tears well up in my eyes as I reach out to squeeze the hands of this lovely ladies that are my wise counselors.

“I love you guys,” I say with watery eyes.

Our tender moment is broken by the arrival of our food.

Over lunch, I recount this morning’s visitation and we discuss it’s meaning. Anita is convinced that Sam is my new soulmate. I’m not so sure but the thought is not repulsive. For now, I am happy to have him for a friend. I am careful to omit reference to Karen and her part of this morning's discussion.

We all speculate about what great destiny is being affected by my choices.

When I tell them that mom is no longer going to act as my personal maid, all three of them offer to spend a few hours with me tomorrow analyzing my wardrobe and to give advice on what goes with what.

I ask Joanna about her date with George tonight. Apparently, he is taking her to a new Thai restaurant then to a concert by our local small, but proud, symphony orchestra. They will be playing music to the showing of an old Buster Keaton silent film. It should be fun and she is cautiously excited about spending time with George. We all wish her well.

As we are getting ready to leave, I remember the four presents that my parents left behind this morning. Taking them from my purse, I passed them around and we quickly opened them. Inside we each find a necklace with a sterling silver puzzle piece pendant. Our names are engraved on the pendants. When we put the four puzzle pieces together, they form a heart.

With a heartfelt group hug, we disperse to continue our days.

Mine turns out to be thankfully mundane. I have gotten behind on more than one project over the last two weeks so I spend the afternoon working diligently to get caught up. While the work does not totally distract me from my uncomfortable body, I try to follow Celeste’s orders and act pleasant. I am somewhat successful, I think.

Later in the afternoon, I call Dr. Lake's office to see if my letter is ready yet, but apparently not all the test results are back. They ask me check back on Monday.

----<0>----

As I ease my uncomfortable and bleeding body into the hot scented bath, I sigh in relief. The ladies are right. This feels heavenly and the scent is very very relaxing.

My mind wanders over the past thirteen days. It has been quite a ride.

I smile as I recall the daily notes from mom. I will miss those. I decide that I am very grateful for the gradual transformation. If the transformation had to happen, then taking a week and half to ease into it avoided the shock of a sudden change. Not only did it help me, but it helped the people around me accept the change as well.

I wonder what John has written about all this. I have hope that his writing will be helpful to squash any misinformation and lead to greater acceptance, but somewhere in the pit of my stomach I fear a sensationally negative tabloid article. Mom said that it will be good article, so I try to have a little faith and to quit worrying about that.

It seems that my colleagues at work are getting past the shock and are just moving on with business. The unfortunate firing of Carlos has done a lot to discourage any further unpleasantness. I hope that Carlos will learn from his experience, but I somehow doubt it.

Having three close girl friends is a real plus. I have never had such close friends before and I really like it. I feel closer the Jane, Anita, and Joanna that I have ever been to anyone else, short of my parents.

And then there is Sam. What do I do about Sam? He sent me another text this morning but it was midday before I could respond. I apologized and promised to be more available on the weekend.

I reach out to collect my phone which is sitting on the counter. It is very early Saturday morning in Germany, but I send him a text anyway.

Me: Good morning, Sam. What are you up to today?

Almost immediately, I get a reply back.

Sam: Just waking up thinking of you. I wish we could spend the day together. How about a call?

Me: Give me 45 minutes, just finishing up a task.

I am not going to tell him what I am doing. Giving him visions of me lying naked in the tub is probably not a good idea.

Sam: Got it. 45 minutes. That gives me time to get going.

The water is starting to cool anyway, I sigh.

Taking a quick shower to wash off the oil residue, I dress in a very comfortable long flannel nightgown with a fresh sanitary pad in my underwear, loosely braid my hair, and crawl into bed with a mug of hot chocolate to await his call.

My new life has begun. I am grateful for my three best friends who have promised to guide me into this new life within the world of women. It would be terrible to be doing this alone.

I wonder where my new life will take me.

Hopefully, I will make the right choices this time around.

----<0>----

The End
of Karla's transformation (and this story).

The beginning of Karla's adventures in womanhood.