Babs’ New Year’s Resolution 69 © Beverly Taff Feb 2021

List of Characters.

Lola Smith Bab’s adopted trans daughter.
Callista Denton (Callie). Transgendered Duchess of Denton.
Margaret Denton (Maggie). Callie’s wife.
Molly Denton Callie’s grandmother
Ellie Denton Callie’s mother.
Bab’s Barbara Smith. Lola’s adoptive ‘Nana’
Olivia Smith Bab’s adopted daughter. (Excellent Artist.)
Angela Smith Bab’s newly adopted daughter
Erica Bab’s foster daughter.
Sergeant Bridie Davies Lady Police detective protecting the girls.
Sergeant Brian Davies. Bridie’s twin brother.
Inspector John, Heading up the anti-rape-gang operation.
Gareth Jenkins, Police office trained in firearms and protection.
Belinda Harrington Lola’s university girlfriend.
Aaron Talbot Surgical registrar – married to –
Shirley Talbot Lecturer at Local university.
Mickey Talbot Aaron and Shirley’s oldest son.
Jessica Talbot Aaron & Shirley’s middle daughter.
Bianca Talbot Aaron & Shirley’s youngest daughter.
Henry Denton Callie’s only son.
Charlotte Denton Callie’s only daughter.
Beverly Callie’s maternal great aunt (Ellie’s paternal aunt)
Wendy Smith Beverly’s Operations Manager for Hull
Louisa Wendy’s Daughter
Griselda & Mia Wendy’s younger twin daughters.
Susan Harvey Prosecution counsel advocating for Erica in court.
Han’s The German policeman’s son whom Erica really fancies .

Chapter 69

Susan first checked through the glass safety panel to see that everybody at the judge’s table was still present, especially the police superintendent and his family. She noted where Hans was seated then entered boldly so the whole table could see.

As she had anticipated, the senior lady judge looked up and spoke.

“Hello Miss Harvey, I’m pleasantly surprised to see you here. Where is the girl Miss Smith, we saw her with you just now.”

“She’s somewhat nervous about meeting you. She thinks it might compromise the case.”

“No Miss Harvey, we’re justices, not jurors; surely with your legal background you know that.”

“I do Ma-am but I’m afraid Erica is somewhat harder to convince. On top of that, she’s afraid of meeting young Hans here and hurting his feelings again.”

“How could that be?” The superintendent asked.

“Well it was last weekend, while driving back from the mountain hike. She left Hans for dead after he expressed his feelings for her and she knows that Hans was upset. She was afraid to explain why.”

“The senior lady judge smiled,

“A girl doesn’t have to give reasons Miss Harvey. Not in Germany anyway.”

“There’s a bit more to it than that. Sadly, Erica does have feelings for Hans but she feels it would be cruel to try and take things further.”

Suddenly the judge twigged. (English slang for Realised)

“Aahh! Yes, I see. Well can’t you explain?”

“She wants to explain herself. She feels she at least owes Hans that.”

“Well that’s very honest of her, and brave I might add. Does Erica want to speak to him?”

“I private – yes. It’s still something of a painful issue for Erica.”

The police superintendent turned to his son.

“Well Hans, d’ you want to speak to the girl?”

The unexpected and welcome opportunity to try his hand once again at capturing Erica’s heart caused Hans’s face to split into an ecstatic hopeful grin.

“Yes Dad! Yes; I would very much.”

“Well go on boy” Feint heart and all that!”

Susan stood opening the door inviting Hans to go and speak to Erica.

“Where is she?” Hans asked as he paused in the doorway looking up and down the corridor.

“Just inside that alcove with the occasional settee and the vanity table.”

Needing no more encouragement Hans actually trotted down the corridor completely oblivious to his obvious display of desperation.

“Erica!” He cried as he paused uncertainly before stepping cautiously towards her.

“What did I do wrong?”

She turned to look up from the floor and Hans immediately noticed that Erica had been crying.

“I never intended to upset you. What did I do?”

She found her voice as she rested her butt against the vanity table.

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong; it’s me.”

Uncertainty furrowed his brow.

“You? What d’ you mean?”

“I love you Hans, I really do, but it’s not to be.”

“What d’ you mean – ‘not to be’?”

Erica gritted her teeth as she plucked up her courage, then her words came out in one desperate sentence.

“I can’t be your girlfriend. I’m infected. I’m HIV positive!”

‘There! She’d said it. She’d said it to someone who mattered, - not some anonymous doctor or civil servant or prospective employer. She’s said it to somebody who would have meant something to her, - if it hadn’t been for this fucking disease!’

She almost scolded herself as the tears started to flow again.

Hans stopped dead and just stared dumbfounded. Seeing his the shocked confusion compounded Erica's uncertainties so she seized the opportunity to reinforce her explanation.

“You don’t know anything about me Hans, you don’t know my past, you don’t know my flaws. You don’t know anything. I’m fucked up Hans, I’ll never be able to be a stable partner. The best I can ever be, would be a friend. Like I am to Lola, Angie and Ollie. I’m sick Hans, sick with HIV and I’m a crack-head; well a recovering one. They deliberately turned me into a crackhead so I would always have the craving but I’ll never recover. I can fall at any time.”

But, you’re so pretty, you look stunning. You don’t look sick at all! Crackheads always look a mess.”

“Yeah. I’ve got the doctors to thank for getting me off it but take it from me, it’s them and the social workers who put me here – in this vulnerable position in the first place. The gangs just exploited my situation. I’m a lost cause Hans; forget about me. Go and find yourself a decent unsoiled girl not a diseased wreck like me.”

“But they can cure you today, I mean – I mean they can keep you from getting worse.”

“Yeah. With a cocktail of drugs that’ d make our bathroom look like a pharmacy! Forget me Hans. Find someone else, someone who can offer you safe sex and risk free kids. There’s millions of clean, healthy girls out there. I’m not one of them.”

Hans fell silent. He did not know enough about drugs and AIDS to offer any further argument. He just stared, lost for words. Erica shrugged and turned aside.

“Go on. Go back to your table and your family. Forget I ever existed.”

ooo000ooo

“I can’t do that.”

Erica’s traumatised inner girl did not see those words as a declaration of love but more like the endeavours of some sort of emotional octopus trying to get its tentacles wrapped around her. Somehow trying to snare the one last vestige of a decent life that she could still cling to, - her liberty. Her freedom to choose her own way out of the pit she had fallen into.
Liberty was all she had left.

She actually saw Hans as yet another man trying to trap her into yet another nightmare. Consequently, she threw as much venom and nastiness as she could into her retort.

“That's fucking bullshit Hans! You’re just like all men. As soon as your tired of the sex, you’re off looking for the next easy lay. Well I’ve seen enough and experienced enough to know that nothing like that is ever going to happen to me again. Go on! Bugger off! Go and find another set of legs to spread. This pair is closed tight and will remain so, - - - forever!”

Hans struggled to find the right words then he turned nervously for Erica’s last words had been almost shouted. As he suspected, Susan was hurrying down the corridor with her heels clicking urgently.

“Is everything alright Erica?”

“Yeah! Everything’s fine; Hans is just leaving!”

Hans retorted stubbornly.

“No I’m not! I’m not leaving until you hear me out.”

By now Susan was at Erica’s side.

“Are you okay?”

“I told you, I’m fine. Tell him to go.”

Susan turned to Hans and shrugged.

“I think it’s best you go.”

“No! Not this time. She invited me to come here so this time I get my turn to say.”

“Alright then, say it but I’d best stay here.”

“It’s personal. I’d like some privacy.”

Susan turned to Erica with a questioning eyebrow and she nodded her assent.

“Let him stay, at least he’s not violent or angry.”

Susan backed off, paused then nodded and returned to her station by the restaurant doors.

Hans sighed then spoke carefully and softly. He felt as though he was holding some delicate bird in his grip and the slightest move would cause it to die of shock. To demonstrate his placidity he kept his hands strictly close to his sides as he sat on the settee arm to establish a safe distance.

“Will you give me a chance, a chance to explain?”

“Go on.” Erica sighed wearily.

Hans exsufficated his relief then drew a long, slow, cautious breath.

“Thankyou. Firstly I still love you, I love your laugh, I love your smile, I love the delight you brought to our hike last week. You’re fun to be with. Can you accept that?”

“Go on,” Erica replied as she waited for the ‘but’.

Han’s hesitated as he struggled for words in his second language, English.

“I, - as I said, I, - I still love you. Do you accept that?”

“Ye-eess.” She replied thoughtfully still waiting for the but, the conditional strictures that implied control and domination.

“Good,” he sighed with relief. “Can I go on?”

She was subconsciously impressed that he’d asked for permission without just ploughing on.

“Go oo-on!”

“Would you let me carry on loving you, you know; getting to know each other better.”

“Where’s this going. You’re not making sense.”

“Give me a break please, I’m thinking in German and translating as I go. I haven’t had a chance to prepare any clever words. It’s just me, - - - and my thoughts. Would you still be my girl-friend?”

“What are you looking for, just some eye-candy on your arm, to impress your friends?”

“No! No! That’s exactly what I’m NOT looking for!”

“What, are your serious? You want a girlfriend who’s HIV?”

“I don’t want any girlfriend, I want you! Erica; Erica Smith!”

“Where did you learn my second name?”

He sniffed irritably.

“My dad’s the guy running this case, - - - your case, for the police. He knows all your names!”

“Oh! - - - of course. So go on, you're saying you actually want a crack-head, an HIV whore to be your girl-friend. What’s the catch?”

“They say you’re not a whore. They say you were kidnapped and raped.”

“It’s not that easy. I’m not hiding anything. If I was from a proper family, - - - a nice family, I’d never have got entangled in the rape-gang shit. I’m from the pits, the gutters, the cess-pits of life. My life's been shit since the day I was born! How would you introduce me to your respectable friends.”

“They wouldn’t need to know.”

“Oh no! Ooooh no!" Erica snapped angrily. "I'm not letting myself be snared in some web of deceit! I’m not going to live my life hiding secrets, always watching my words and wondering what’s known about me. If we are to be together, there’s to be NO secrets and no hiding stuff about me. I am what I am and that’s what you and your friends would get.”

Hans shrugged and tilted his head thoughtfully as he pursed his lips.

“I can handle that as well as your HIV. There’s drugs that stop HIV infecting others, including babies who's mothers are HIV; so I think it could work.”

“Do you? Best you run it by your family then, see how they would like an HIV bride, a crack-head coming into the family! What you see here now is all you'll ever get, I'm broken and I can never be properly mended! That's the basis for the only relationship I can countenance; one that’s going somewhere, - - - somewhere positive.”

ooo000ooo