Like the title says, some news about the writing and a question for you all.
The writing is going well. I have 3.5 chapters left in the first draft. It is lining up nicely with the basic story I wanted to tell. Soon I'll jump back in and fill in more of the worldbuilding and such, to flesh out my model as I usually work. First drafts are always sparse. But it really is near the end and I am really enjoying the characters and the action.
My question, is Does any one like this? Two people often comment and the comments are a bit sparse. I see the thumbs up and I see the sparse comments and I see the declining numbers and I have to ask if the story is enjoyable as a read? Just because I like it does not mean other readers like it. So, I would love a touch more feedback so I can better assess things. I want to make sure the story flows well, that there are no plot issues, or anything like that. Thanks for considering this.
Comments
Thom
Heather. I have been following the tale right along. I have not noticed any glaring conflicts or plot holes. I have enjoyed it right along. If there are minor discrepancies, I believe your edits and world building will fill it all in. Now that there is enough, I believe I will go back and do a read through. That's usually my best way to do it. Otherwise I get broken off just as I am really getting into the story. Sorry I have not commented as I should, but all I have right now is a tiny voyager pro with it's six inch screen and the lousy Google keyboard. It's hard to do the with one finger. Otherwise, I have enjoyed it and look forward to more.
Thank you for the reviews and
Thank you for the reviews and the comments. They really help.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
I'm Enjoying It...
Not sure how I feel about posting first drafts, but I've found Mori a good read, to the point of wondering why you were treating it as provisional.
I think there's a lot we still need to learn as to how actively the Mori herself fits in here, and about much of the steel concept, but we're generally working from the POV of a novice who doesn't know the answers, so those seemed to be items for a later reveal rather than things you intended us to know already but hadn't filled in.
I don't read a lot of mainstream works in this genre (which this seems to be, mostly -- at least, I haven't seen any reason to believe that Dani/Asche's sex change is or will be a major plot point, except to get her into the story). But the ravens strike me as an unusual and very welcome element here, in that they can be handled naturally as opposed to opening the door for other birds and animals to take sides.
Hope that's useful to you.
Best, Eric
Eric's Word Is Gold
If I were to rate all of the hundreds of people who have commented on my writing here and on Amazon, I would say that Eric rates at least a 95 out of 100.
If Eric says it's a good read, that is high praise.
I don't read fantasy and wouldn't be a good judge.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thanks. It's good to know
Thanks. It's good to know bonifides in some cases.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
Part of the reason I am
Part of the reason I am posting the first draft is to get feedback, plus to share a story in the early stages that I am going to sell professionally. Sharing later drafts seems more like a no no than laying down the bones. The story will likely get half again as large, and there may be changes to the plot points to refine the overall structure. But I wanted to share with the community here and if they want to spend money on it later thats fine, but they will have seen the base of the novel.
The stuff with the Morri does gain in detail as the story continues, and there are more dream visions and more conversations about her. Second draft will contain a lot more of expansion on this and more basic worldbuilding.
Thank you for your comments. They help.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
I'm really enjoying it
I want to see what happens next, and I like the characters.
I think I've already said
how much I'm enjoying this story!
I'll be honest and say that
I'll be honest and say that while I've read all of your previous works, I haven't touched this one yet. Mostly because I'm avoiding almost all 'unfinished' work on all of the sites I visit.
I have looked at yours several times, and it hasn't been the right time for me to pick it up, although it's getting close. At that point, you'll likely see comments as I go along.
Please - keep going. As I said before, your work has always been worth reading.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
I get the urge to only dive
I get the urge to only dive into completed stories. I have a few unfinished works that keep trying to catch my attention but they never hold it for long enough to add maybe a line or two here and there. Not a way to write. Sometimes stories die. It happens and it sucks but so it goes. I am 3 chapters from finishing this one and it is mostly a huge battle sort of thing, so fun medieval tactics, intense combat, discordance, and the like. So looking forward to your reviews
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
Would you prefer the comments
Would you prefer the comments by PM, at least those focused on structure and plot holes?
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
That would be good. I work
That would be good. I work well like that.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
Sorry you feel (felt?) short of comments
I find an unexpected fascination in this story -- it's also the first of yours I have read! After part 1 I find myself selecting the newest episode each time one pops up in the list of new postings.
I am now also looking at your back catalogue!
Enjoy. There is a lot of work
Enjoy. There is a lot of work out there on this site, the Whateley Academy site, Archive of Our Own, and fanfiction.net. There is a lot out there. Hell, in a ten year period I wrote 4 million plus words. So there is a sufficiency of stuff. Glad you are enjoying the current read. Thanks.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
Stop talking …
… and publish it so I can buy it.
I hope that comment is clear enough. ;-)
I am nearly done with the
I am nearly done with the first draft. The second draft is faster and then the selling part which sucks and takes forever. I feel that this might be a fun sell to Tor, since they are big time SciFi/Fantasy publishers and its fairly mainstream, as someone posted earlier. There is some plot points with her being Trans but more as a tertiary issue. That would be neat. But I'm working on it.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.
The one thing I found bothersome
A couple of times I felt like things were assumed that should have been shown in the story. Your explanation of your writing technique explains this and I expect those gaps will be filled. I have a personal preference for longer chapters as it always takes a bit to get back into the story and then just as I get comfortable the chapter ends. HOTM remains one one of the better things going on this site right now despite those things and I read each chapter as soon as I see it is up.
Yeah, things are going to get
Yeah, things are going to get filled out as the edits occur, making for longer chapters. That will probably help.
Heather
We are the change that will save the world.