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Today is the happiest day of my life. I want to share with you guys how my day went from feeling like it would ruin the rest of my life to being so Happy I broke into tears. I finally came out to an actual person In Real Life In Person with complete transparency that I was a Transgender woman in the closet for fear of scrutiny and scandal as well as fear for my life. The new pastor at my church. I was worried how he would react. But in the end after crying out what I could manage telling my life story, I wasn't shunned, I wasn't "damned", I wasn't kicked out, I was welcomed with a warm hug and a blessing. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was not alone. That he will be with me every step of the way. He encouraged me to keep pursuing my dreams especially to keep writing. I have never been so happy in all my life. I had no idea how letting out all of my baggage, my suicide attempts, the bullying, the rejection, my life layed out right in front of him, would lead to such bliss of heart. I know I never in my wildest dreams would have considered coming out had it not been for such an awesome community here as well as my other friends much like Fictional Helen's bestie Jo. Writing gave me the courage to be truthful to myself. Thank you. All of you. I love you all so so much and I can't wait for the the next step. Wherever that may lead.
Comments
I'm very happy for you,
I know just how you feel, I did the same with my wife who accepted me with just as much love and acceptance. We are two lucky ladies. It is wonderful to have that release, we tend to keep so much inside, like a shaken bottle with a cork in it, which puts us under such pressure - and that isn't good for us. Pretty sure I've never talked with you before, but I couldn't help respond to your joy.
PM me if you need to.
No rose colored glasses, this will be joyous at times and hellish at times and I don't know if it balances out. I came out in 2004 and post op since 2007. I live as me all the time. The family are brutal and condemning despite my always being celibate. One daughter talks to me and she has hard limits. I work very hard to camouflage myself, wearing long skirts, no pants, and usually covering my head (Muslim or eastern Europe style). Fortunately, my voice is very soft. I don't risk dating a man, nothing other than Hi, how are you?"
Life is really dangerous for T folk. When the sun goes down get in your apartment. I'd like to say that if I had known, I would not have done it, but who knows?
Gwen
Helly, your happiness shared
Helly, your happiness shared is a blessing to all the rest of us. I'm so proud of you understanding how difficult it is for you to share your deepest darkest secrets knowing your life could go so many ways. And yet you found the courage and strength to be yourself.
Welcome to the beginning of a new and richer life you were meant to live from the very beginning. I pray the rewards are abundant.
Hugs Helly92
I truly hope you find, Life is meant to be lived, not worn until it's worn out. Enjoy and embrace what is yours.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
that's fantastic
I'm super happy for you!
Good for you, I hope it works
Good for you, I hope it works out.
Leeanna
Welcome to the rest of your life
The hardest thing in the world is risking rejection to not live the lie. You've taken the first step, which is harder than all the rest combined. It all gets easier from here forward.
That's not to say it'll be a picnic... because it won't... but it beats the alternative. You'll have days so bad you'll question the wisdom of ever stopping the lies... but know that if you persist and stick to it, it will get easier. You'll make enemies... but you'll make friends, too... friends you never would have had otherwise.
After two failed engagements, destroyed by my lies about who I really was, I swore to myself that the next relationship I began would start with the truth. The day I met my 1st co-wife, I told her I was trans before the day was out. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do... and the best decision of my life. As a result, I now am wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, and woman to everyone in my life. It's hard at times... especially with some members of my family that will never understand... but the life I have now makes it so worthwhile.
Just never give up. You can't know the happiness that might be right around the corner if you do.
Hugs,
Roberta