Author:
Audience Rating:
Publication:
Genre:
Character Age:
TG Themes:
Permission:
Halloween - Chapter 1
October 31, 1970
“So what are you boys going to be for Halloween this year?” Mother asked looking directly at me while I was eating breakfast with my brothers.
“Are you asking Steven and Billy or are you asking me, Mom?” I replied.
“I am asking everyone but I have an idea for a costume for you. Steve, have you decided on a costume?”
“I can’t stand costumes, Mom. I’m throwing on my football shirt and helmet and going out with my friends after school.” Steven grudgingly responded.
“And you, Billy? Are you going out again as a bum? You know that’s not really creative. Smudging your face with charcoal is not really getting into the spirit of Halloween,” Mother asked.
“Mom, I’m with Steve. I hate costumes and rubbing charcoal on my face is all I want to do.”
As Mother turned her eyes toward me, I realized exactly where this conversation was going. I was 11 years old and every Halloween that I could remember my mother had asked me if I wanted to get dressed as a girl for my costume. My mother was a beautiful woman and she had always wanted a daughter to share her love of femininity with but unfortunately she had been blessed with three wonderful boys.
I never understood why she always targeted me but up until now I had always turned her down. As she smiled at me, I began to think about how I would answer today. I really wanted to say yes but I was afraid; afraid of what my brothers would think, afraid of what my friends would say, afraid of what my mother would think. But then again she always seemed to want to put me in a dress for Halloween.
Puberty was a few years off so I still knew very little about the differences between boys and girls. I always felt very comfortable with girls and ever since I could remember I had wished and prayed that I would magically turn into one over night. I remember receiving my First Communion three years ago and following a pretty young girl up the aisle of our Church and dreaming about wearing the white dress that she had on and having my hair styled with curls and small flowers like she had. I never really understood why I had these feelings and thoughts but I did. And I felt wonderful when I dreamed like that.
On the other hand I had two rough and tumble brothers so I could never really act on my dreams. They would beat me up if I would act girly telling me that I was embarrassing them in front of their friends. My older brother, Steven, even called me a ‘fag’ and forced me to quit the church choir because he felt I was embarrassing him. But as my mother looked at me, I knew that I didn’t have too many more chances where she would offer to dress me as a girl for Halloween.
“What about you, John? Do you have a costume this year?”
“No, Mom,” I replied, “I don’t think I am going to go out this year. I think I am getting too old to trick or treat.”
“11 years old is not too old for Halloween, silly! If you haven’t picked out a costume I could always dress you up as a girl. I’ve offered to do it for you and your brothers before but you have always turned me down. Would you like to give it a try this year? I promise it would be fun?”
“Mommmm, I don’t know,” I replied, “It would be so embarrassing.”
“Do it,” Steven laughed, “It will get her to stop asking us. You will look so stupid that she’ll never try again.”
“Steve is right, John” Billy injected, “If you do it then she will never ask us again.”
“Why don’t you do it, Billy?” I replied, “You’re a year younger than me and you’d make a better girl.”
“I already told mom that I have plans with my friends and you said you have no plans at all.”
“So what do you say, John,” Mom said, “I promise that no one will laugh. You’ll be surprised at how good you will look.”
“Ok, Mom,” I smiled, “but I’m only doing it so that you’ll quit bugging all of us.”
“I’m so excited!” Mom cried, “John, you have always had the prettiest eyes and, despite what your brothers said, you are going to make a beautiful girl. Let’s get started as soon as you get home from school.”
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos!
Click the Thumbs Up! button below to leave the author a kudos:
And please, remember to comment, too! Thanks.
Comments
I think...
'John's i-in trou-ble'
Hi Lisa,
Just my opinion here, you understand, I mean, I AM taking into consideration that this story IS posted on a TG story site, though.
Cute start, please continue,
with love,
Hope
with love,
HER
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
Should be interesting, I
Should be interesting, I just hope there is no forced feminization on John, just a fun time for him and his Mother.
Nice start
Off to a good start, Lisa. The brothers urging him on will make it easier for him to "reluctantly" go along with mom's plans. One thing, though. You switch back and forth between first and third person, and it kinda throws the reader off stride. First person allows you to explore the emotions better, and I think you should stick to that voice. So, for instance, this sentence near the end: “Ok, Mom,†John smiled, “but I’m only doing it so that you’ll quit bugging all of us.†That could be changed to: “Ok, Mom,†and I smiled at the thought that I was getting my fondest dream, “but I’m only doing it so that you’ll quit bugging all of us.â€
Karen J.
"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
Karen J. is right. You are
Karen J. is right. You are off to a good start on what is heading towards being a cute story. The only constructive criticism that I have is the same that she had, switching between first and third person. Correct that and you've got a winner.
Teddie S.
One Thing Though...
One thing though...John should point out that he is willing to get dressed up in a girl's Halloween costume, but that he doesn't want to just get dressed up in girl's clothes. He would want to fit in as much as possible so as not to draw attention to himself and a 'girl' out trick or treating who isn't in costume would draw a lot of attention to him.
That's always bothered me in Halloween stories when the character gets dressed up in normal girl's clothes and not in a girl's costume.
Now, what kind of extreme detail might John's mom go to in her excitement that would be difficult to undo in a day? Hmmm.
Well, If He Goes Through With His Mom's Request
Will he look like a younger version of her?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Thank you for all of your
Thank you for all of your comments! I started this story this morning without a plot and submitted it without editing. I think I will go a little slower in developing it but I appreciate all of your comments. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
Scene-It
It appears you can solve the first person/third person thing by simply changing "John" to "I" in three attributions.
You made this into a tough scene to write by having so many people in it. Many experienced writers suggest keeping your scenes to two people, as much as possible. By doing so you will find the attributions to be much easier to handle. When there are two people in a scene it follows logically if one person isn't talking it must be the other; that will cut your needed attributions in half.
Something a bit more esoteric that will bring your writing to life -- There are four basic sentence structures for dialogue: Dialogue with attribution in the middle before more dialogue. No attribution. Attribution followed by dialogue. Dialogue followed by attribution.
Take a look at your last eight sentences. By placing the attribution in the middle of all eight sentences you run the risk of becoming tedious for your reader. Try to vary your sentences by moving the placement of the attribution around more. When you have more than two people you've almost eliminated the ability to use dialogue paragraphs/sentences without attribution.
I loved the irony in your one sentence. "My older brother, Steven, even called me a ‘fag’ and forced me to quit the church choir because he felt I was embarrassing him." Just terrific.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thank you for your comments.
Thank you for your comments. I think I have to re-read them over and over again to really understand them. But I would like to become a better writer so I intend to read them until I understand them.
Do you (or anyone for that matter) have any interest in editing my writing before I post? I usually rush my writing because a plot line is in my head and then post it before reviewing it.
halloween dreams
I so enjoy this it reminds me soo much of the first time i was dressed as a female. I was at a hallowen party and lost a parlore game and was dressed by all the ladies and girls there , and my mother always loved my eyes and make up on them turned her on even more than me , i only wish that dressing could have gone on for ever her dressing me and allowing my fem side to live for real rether than all the lot years in the closet and deniale
Patty
Halloween is great for us TG
I believe that Halloween is one of the best HOLIDAY for us! I have 3 stories I'm writing about Halloween of course, I'm writing my Tarja story along with a story at Easter, too.
Sorry, Iam writing this on my PDA not my notebook.
TGSine --
TGSine --958