Safe
Copyright 2021 by Heather Rose Brown
While I managed to keep myself relatively safe most of the time when I was growing up, there were only a few places and times when I felt completely safe. Below is a tiny vignette about one of them.
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When the recess bell rang, I walked across the lunch room as fast as I could without getting yelled at by a teacher. Once I reached the door, I shoved it open, then sprinted down the sidewalk by the school. When I reached the sports field, I raced across the dusty packed earth and dry patches of grass.
I glanced over my shoulder when I was near the far end of the field, then smiled when I saw nobody was in sight. A moment later, the chain link fence was jangling as I climbed it. When I reached the top, I grabbed the huge branch hanging over the fence, pulled myself up, then shimmied towards a rough wooden platform.
Panting as quietly as I could manage, I laid down on the platform, and looked up at the patches of bright blue sky peaking through the deep green leaves. A light breeze ruffled my hair, and cooled my sweaty t-shirt. Even though I didn't dare to say it out loud, I thought the most special word of all.
Safe.
It wasn't something I felt a lot of the time. At school, I was relatively safe ... at least when there was a teacher nearby. At home, I was mostly safe, so long as I didn't break any rules, and managed to avoid discovering new rules I wasn't allowed to break.
But here, up in the tree, hidden from view by both teachers and other kids, I felt safe. Even though I knew it wouldn't last, I grinned up at the tree, patted the rough bark of one of its branches, and thanked it for giving me a special place, where I could really, truly, feel safe.
Comments
So beautiful I cried
At home I was mostly safe, so long as I didn't break any rules, and managed to avoid discovering new rules I wasn't allowed to break.
Oh goodness, that just sums up life for a lot of children.
Lucy xx
"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."
Even though ...
... things were kinda rough for me then, things have gotten a lot better now. Fortunately, there were a few places and times back then when things weren't as bad, which made it possible to push through the rougher stuff.
Several years ago
I posted a very personal piece - The Invitation. It was semi-autobiographical, but included a very real despiction of a therapy session along with a reference to a now-defunct website - Tree Climbers. It was a site dedicated to survivors of sexual abuse as children, but my connection via the story was that the treatment the character received was as much transphobic as sexually abusive. My story fit her vision enough for her to re-publish it on her site and another.
And it surprisingly dovetailed with the site owner's vision of having a specific place of safety. Her vision and my story included a tree house which no one could invade. So much in the same way, your story makes me feel safe! Thank you!
Love, Andrea Lena
I'm so glad ...
... the feeling of being safe came through this story. It wasn't a very common experience for me back then, which made this memory extra special for me. Even now, trees have a pretty special place in my heart.