Girls’ Changing Room – 5 – End of Term by Maeryn Lamonte – Copyright © 2021
	Midweek update, which is better than you lot deserve. One measly comment! How am I supposed to get by on that? Thanks Heather, by the way. It was beginning to feel like Siberia for a moment.

-oOo-
"Where were you, and what on Earth has happened to your face!?" Anneka hissed when Lori finally arrived five minutes before the end of lunch.

"I'll explain everything later, but first I need a distraction so I can get close to Maledicta."

One thing Lori was beginning to appreciate about Anneka, once she knew it mattered, she didn't waste time asking questions. She responded immediately, rising to her feet and making straight for the Slytherin table, towards one individual in particular who'd been sneering at her through most of the lunch break and who was now suddenly looking a lot less sure of himself.

“What is your problem?” Anneka raged at him. “You’ve been leering at me for the last hour and it is really freaking me out.” She leaned in close causing him to recoil and capturing the attention of everyone nearby.

It was all Lori needed. She'd started to leave the moment Anneka began her assault, but the disturbance allowed her to divert slightly and pass within a few feet of her own target, pausing very briefly as she came level with his chair. She was gone before anyone realised she'd been there.

“Nothing to say?” Anneka continued her onslaught while her friend escaped unnoticed. "Well, if you don't have the guts to confront me directly would you at least have the manners just to leave me alone!" She fired her final salvo and hurried after Lori, leaving the entire Slytherin table laughing at the crazy Hufflepuff. She caught up with her roommate in the corridor outside.

“Finite incantatem,” Lori said.

“That’s a second-year spell!” Anneka hissed. “How do you know it already?”

“Part of the reason I’m so late,” Lori explained. “Come on, I'll tell you what I can while we walk." She took Anneka by the arm and pulled her down a more or less deserted corridor.

"So, what were you doing casting it on yourself?" Anneka wanted to know as soon as they were alone.

"To change myself back to something recognisably me," she answered shortly. "Look, I'll tell you everything when we're back in the dorm. It's a little exposed out here. For now, that spell is apparently a lot easier to use to end a spell you cast on yourself. To use it on other people's magic takes a lot more finesse and can have some unpleasant side effects. McGonagall only taught it to me once I'd promised only to use it as you saw me doing. The rest will have to wait." She nodded towards a Slytherin student ahead of them who was leaning against a wall looking altogether too nonchalant.

Anneka fidgeted through the rest of the afternoon taking in very little of the day's remaining lessons. Immediately afterwards they headed off to the first sitting for dinner so she could keep her promise to Professor Longbottom. Once they'd eaten, Lori walked with her as far as the greenhouses. She seemed a little preoccupied, so Anneka left her to her own thoughts. As their destination came into sight, she seemed to rouse.

"Thanks for having my back at lunch," she said.

"What are friends for?" Anneka shrugged.

"I'm going to have to ask one more thing from our friendship before I explain everything." Lori said, unable to meet her friend's eyes.

Anneka stopped. "Go on."

"You'll understand when you get back to the dorm," Lori replied. "I just need you to trust me until I have a chance to explain in private."

"You've never given me a reason not to." So, what was different this time? Anneka chose faith over curiosity. "Of course I trust you."

Lori gave her friend a smile and a hug. "See you later. Enjoy your discussion on Muggles."

Lori turned and left. It was almost as though she knew of Anneka's deception and had been testing her. She shook it off and made her way towards greenhouse one and a couple of hours squeezing bubotuber polyps.

-oOo-

It was almost curfew when she finally made her way back to the Hufflepuff common room with Lori's present tucked inside her robes. There were a few Hufflepuffs sitting around reading or chatting quietly. One of them — Allys Greenwood, another first year — looked up from her book and said, "Your girlfriend's in your room." She meant it good naturally, but it left Anneka blushing furiously. She mumbled a thank you and headed off towards the dorms.

Lori wasn't there. There was a mound in her bed, but it proved to be made up of bedding. Additionally, there was a piece of parchment — apparently blank — lying on Anika's pillow. She picked it up.

They'd been learning about enchanting howlers in charms class, along with their lesser-known equivalent, whyspers — a means of communicating in secret. Like the howler, the whysper only activated on the touch of its intended recipient. What was different was the volume of the message. The parchment would form itself into a mouth and move close to the ear of the person it was intended for. The message would then be whispered so quietly only the one person could hear it, then the page would quietly tear itself up.

"McGonagall's asked me to keep an eye on Maledicta tonight. If anyone asks, I went to bed feeling unwell. If I get caught, tell them where you were this evening, then say you went to bed early and didn't see me sneak out. It's pretty much the truth anyway, so you shouldn't get in trouble. I'll explain everything when I see you next."

Anneka threw the shreds of paper into her bin then stripped off for a long bath. She'd worn protective gear during the harvest, so she didn't smell particularly, it was just that the stench of the pus made it into your nostrils leaving you feeling dirty. She tried to let the hot water soak away her worries, but the thought of Lori out in the corridors alone concerned her. Sure, McGonagall had asked her, but from the way she'd worded her message the mission wasn't exactly sanctioned.

She did go to bed early, but she couldn't sleep. She lay awake staring at the canopy of her bed and imagining all the things that might be going wrong for Lori. Filch's ghost may have caught her and chained her up. Worse, she may have been caught by one of the professors and be facing disciplinary action. Maybe Maledicta and his friends had caught her. They wouldn't try anything so terrible as one of the unforgivable curses, surely, but there was still a lot more they could do that wouldn't be pleasant.

She tried to distract herself by thinking about her reaction to Alyss's comment earlier. Why had she blushed so deeply? Yes, she liked Lori, a lot, but as a girlfriend? She felt a warmth spreading inside her which told her there had to be some truth to the idea. But there was something else to confuse the matter. Was it the boy she liked or the girl? Would she feel the same way if Lori was all girl and not just where it mattered? She'd never thought of herself as being into girls, but then she'd never really thought much about her attraction to boys either. Her parents had protected her from the more confusing aspects of the whole boy-girl thing, and she knew they expected her to bring a boy home one day. Whether they now expected that boy to be wearing a skirt was another matter, and how upset they might be when that boy ultimately turned into a girl was yet another.

She felt strongly that her parents’ opinion on the matter needed to be considered, but more than anything, she had to decide for herself. Lori was definitely special to her. She knew they would always be the closest of friends, but could there be anything deeper if she did get what she'd always wished for? Would they remain close if she didn't and had to go back to being a boy? She'd felt sorry for Lorcan, but she'd truly grown to like — more than like — Lori.

It was confusing. The great clock chimed half past midnight, and she was almost tired enough to fall asleep when the sound of the door opening and closing roused her.

"Lumos," she whispered and in response to her muted words, a spark of incandescence formed at the end of her wand.

A head appeared in mid-air, the eyes glowing amber in the dim light, the nose misshapen. She clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming.

"Finite incantatem." The face said and transformed into something more familiar. The remainder of the attached body appeared as Lori removed her cloak.

"Wow! I thought I was being visited by the Cheshire Cat for a minute there," she whispered.

"The what?"

"The… Oh right, I keep forgetting. Most people here don't get to read Muggle literature."

"What's a Cheshire Cat," Lori persisted as she quickly shed her clothes and changed for bed.

"A cat that always smiles and keeps disappearing and reappearing, bits at a time. It's in a story — Alice in Wonderland."

"Was I smiling then?"

"No, but you definitely looked like a cat, and it was your head I saw first."

"Oh right. Sounds a bit odd to me, but okay." She changed quickly before climbing into her bed.

Anneka was having none of it. She clambered out of her bed and into Lori's. "You promised me an explanation," she whispered.

"If you're not too tired."

"Look, I won't be able to shut my eyes until I know something of what's been happening. What's with the cat look?"

"Felis sensorium." Lori's smile was all cat who got the cream, which was oddly appropriate. "McGonagall said she discovered it when she was young, but I'm not sure she didn't invent it. It’s a sort of partial transfiguration that gives you the senses of a cat for the duration of the spell, but as you saw it also gives you some of the appearance of one too."

"Why would she teach you that?"

"Better night vision for one thing. No need for a lumos spells to give away my position. Then there's the heightened sense of smell. Cat's noses aren't as good as most dogs but better than any human."

"So, what did you need a better sense of smell for? Did it have anything to do with what you were up to at lunchtime?"

"Yeah. When I snuck off earlier, I followed McGonagall and that man to her office. It turned out he was Maledicta's dad. He made all sorts of complaints — did you know Miss Mitchell was Muggle-born?"

"No, but it does explain why she has a Muggle surname. Don't tell me the Maledicta's are Purists?"

"All the way. Anyway, he tried to get his son's cloak back, then when McGonagall told him no way, he went off in a huff.

"As soon as he was gone, she told me to follow him. He went down to the dungeons where he met Raphael and gave him a new invisibility cloak."

"Wow, they must be loaded."

"Well yeah, but more than that, Raphael's here looking for something. They didn't say what, so when I reported back to the professor, she asked me to keep an eye, or rather a nose, on Raphael this evening."

"She taught you the cat spell so you could follow him even if he was sneaking around under an invisibility cloak."

"Exactly, and finite incantatem so I could end the spell before anyone saw my face. I needed to get a sniff of Maledicta at lunchtime, so I knew what smell I was following."

"So how did it go?"

"I'm not sure. I waited outside the Slytherin common room for what felt like hours before the door opened and Raphael's scent appeared. I followed him deep into the dungeons until even my eyes weren't much good. We went through a number of locked doors — you know it wouldn't surprise me if the Maledicta's wealth comes from burglary — and into a storage section that’s out of bounds to students. I watched him as he hunted about for ages and around the time I was beginning to think we were going to be there all night, he opened this old iron banded stone box and found what looked like a lump of greenish rock.

"He took the rock and left the box, then headed back to his dormitory. McGonagall told me to report to her in the morning, so I came back here. And that's pretty much all that happened. How was your evening with Neville? Did you tell him about Cheshire Cats and this Alice in Wonderland?"

"No, it was a bit more boring than that. I helped him harvest some bubotubers and I told him about what my dad did." As with Lori's whysper, the story she told was pretty much the truth, just not all of it.

They sat quietly for a moment, Anneka feeling suddenly very self-conscious. "Do you mind if I try something?" she asked.

"Of course not."

Anneka moved slowly closer, tentative and uncertain, constantly looking for some sign of how welcome or otherwise her approach might be. She sensed a trembling in her friend and a breathless anticipation. She reached in and kissed her on the lips.

Lori responded, kissing her back. They were both filled with a soaring feeling that expanded and spread out inside them. It felt like it would never end. It felt wonderful. It felt like all that mattered.

It ended very abruptly when the door to their dormitory flew open.

"Oh my!" Professor Sprout said. "I really would have expected better from the two of you."

-oOo-

They were allowed enough time to put on slippers and dressing gowns before being frog marched to the head's office. For such a kindly old lady, Professor Sprout could be unpleasantly strict when dealing with infractions to school rules.

They arrived at their destination to find Professor McGonagall awake, dressed and looking very angry indeed. They were marched into her office and made to stand in front of her withering glare.

"Professor McGonagall, I…"

"I do not recall giving either of you permission to speak," McGonagall interrupted Anneka. "I cannot begin to express how deeply disappointed I am in the two of you."

They both dropped their gaze to the carpet.

"Stand up straight, both of you." They complied. "I cannot fathom why, after an entire term of rewarding the trust I have put in you, you should break it now. What could you possibly have been thinking to make you believe this was acceptable?"

"I…" Anneka tried again.

"Silence, young lady! I'm not finished. You know the school rules as well as anyone. You know we don't object to your having relationships as long as they don't interfere with your studies and are conducted out in the open, but it is very clearly written into the rules that there will, under no circumstances, be any dalliance in the dormitories."

"Professor, may I speak?" Lori said quietly. The twin spotlights of McGonagall's gimlet stare rounded on the young girl, pinning her to the spot.

"Well?" snapped the professor.

"It wasn't planned, professor. We were talking…"

"At one o'clock in the morning!?"

"I’d just got back from — you know — that thing, and Anneka couldn’t sleep because she’d been worrying about me. We kind of talked for a while. We both had quite a lot on our minds this evening."

"That much is obvious."

"No, I didn't mean that. Anni had a meeting with Professor Longbottom this evening and I had… Well, you know."

"So, you were sharing what happened to each of you this evening. Why were you doing so in the same bed?"

"That was my fault, professor," Anneka roused her courage enough to back her friend up, earning herself Professor McGonagall's full attention. "Lori just wanted to go to sleep. It was me who climbed into her bed. I didn't mean anything by it, I just wanted to talk."

"That's not what I saw," Professor Sprout said sternly.

"It was though, at least at first. I'd been thinking about something one of my other friends said to me earlier, so when we were done talking, I asked if I could try something. Lori said okay and so I kissed her."

"Is this true?" McGonagall asked Lori.

"Yes, professor. I suppose I realised what she was about to do just before she did it and I, I don't know, I let her. I suppose we've both been curious about how deep our feelings go for a while now, and this evening just seemed to be the point where we had to find out."

"That's the first time you've kissed?"

"Yes, professor. Before now we were just friends. We didn't really think..."

"That much is obvious." McGonagall sighed. "I'm inclined to believe you; however it is still very much against the school rules and cannot be ignored. There will have to be consequences."

"Oh, please don't split us up!" Anneka cried out as her mind instantly went to the worst thing she could think of. "We've become such good friends, and this will never happen again, right Lori?"

Lori nodded; her own eyes wide at the thought of being separated from Anneka.

"Well, after tonight I can hardly trust you two alone with one another, can I?"

"I have a possible solution," Professor Sprout said. "It's something I've been considering for a while now."

McGonagall raised an eyebrow and waited.

"Most of the dormitories have settled well this year, but there's one that hasn't. We have one student in Hufflepuff who's not getting on particularly well with her room mates."

"Hortensia Skunk?" Lori asked. It wasn't exactly a secret within the Hufflepuff common room.

"Oh no, not haughty Horty," Anneka said then clamped her hands over her mouth when she realised she'd said it out loud, and in the presence of a couple of teachers.

"We’d be happy to have Hortensia join us,” Lori said before Anneka could dig the hole any deeper.

“I’m glad to hear it. Of course, both Hortensia and her parents will have to be made aware of your circumstances and agree to the move before we can do anything.”

“Weren’t they both in Slytherin?” Professor Sprout asked.

“I believe so,” McGonagall replied.

“Certainly, I’ve had reason to wonder why the Sorting Hat didn’t put her in with them as well; she seems better suited to Slytherin. It would have made our sleeping arrangements easier to sort out at the beginning of term.”

“Yes…” McGonagall tapped her lips thoughtfully for a moment, then visibly pulled herself together. “Very well then, I believe we have a resolution to this matter. I will write to Mr and Mrs Skunk directly, but I doubt we'll be able to change much this side of the holidays.

"It seems losing your somewhat exclusive sleeping arrangements should be sufficient reprimand for your lapse in good judgement as well as a deterrent to anything like it happening again, although I will leave the decision of whether any additional punishment is necessary in the hands of your head of house.

"I would rather not make any special arrangements for you two in these last weeks of term, so do not give me a reason to do so. If you do, I can assure you, the consequences will be severe.

"Now, you need to get back to bed and to sleep because, mark my words, I will not tolerate any tardiness or inattention tomorrow on the basis of your not having enough sleep this night.

“That being said, Lori, I will take advantage of this meeting to steal a few extra minutes of your time.”

She waited for Anneka and Professor Sprout to leave then asked Lori to report back on her findings. The young girl recounted pretty much everything she’d said to Anneka earlier. It didn’t take more than a couple of minutes, but then McGonagall turned thoughtful.

“Greenish you say.” She stood up and hunted through her bookshelf, settling eventually on a large leather-bound book. Turning back to Lori, she said, “You don’t have your wand on you, do you?” Following Lori’s shaken head, she flourished her own. “Felis Sensorium,” she said then hunted through the book while the changes were settling on Lori’s face.

“Was this the stone you saw?”

She spun the book to reveal a detailed and painstakingly drawn and coloured image of a rough-cut stone. The greenish colour was almost identical to the one that Lori had seen, and the shape looked very familiar too.

Lori nodded her head again. “I think it’s the same.”

“Finite incantatem,” McGonagall said, and Lori sensed the world around her darkening, and the picture inexplicably changed to red. She looked at Professor McGonagall quizzically.

“Cats see differently, Lori. Their eyes are far more sensitive in the dark, but they can’t distinguish colours the same way we do. Now look again and tell me you’re sure the shape is the same.”

Lori looked and tried to compare it to her memory. “I’m about seventy percent sure, professor. I’m sorry I can’t do better than that, but I can show you where Raphael found it and the box it was in. He left that behind.”

McGonagall sighed. She needed to get Lori into her bed, but this was a matter that wouldn’t wait after all.

They encountered Filch’s ghost in the dungeons and he offered to lend McGonagall some of his shackles, otherwise they reached the storage area without any difficulty. Lori headed straight for the shelf where Maledicta had left the box and picked it up. It had an inscription on it.

“Blutstein,” Lori said in a low voice.

McGonagall took the box out of Lori’s hands and stared at it herself. “I was afraid of this,” she murmured. “All right, you did well tonight Lori, but we’d best get you to your bed.” Fortunately, it was a relatively short walk from the store room to the Slytherin common room and a only a slightly longer one from there to Hufflepuff. McGonagall left Lori at the door to her house and returned to the Slytherin common room.

“Pureblood,” she said, unable to keep the distaste from her voice. Slytherins, being a suspicious lot, changed their password regularly, but it always seemed to come back to this one. The portrait moved to one side, and she stepped into the common room. A few spells later she was certain that nothing with any significant amount of magic in it resided within her vicinity.

She transformed herself into her cat form and headed back to the storeroom. Lori’s familiar scent was everywhere, but there was a second one too. She followed it back to the Slytherin common room, then found a second, fresher trail which eventually led to the astronomy tower. McGonagall bounded up the steps and emerged onto the roof just in time to see a disembodied hand holding the bloodstone up high and a witch on a broom swoop in at speed to snatch it from the outstretched arm.

There was nothing to be done. The stone was lost. By the time Minerva could put her hands on a broom, the witch would be long gone. The only advantage she had was that the enemy didn’t know that she knew. Best to keep it that way for now. She turned and leapt silently down the stairs and back to her office before Maledicta knew she was there.

-oOo-

The rest of the term passed without further incident. Mindful of the warning, Anneka and Lori were careful to keep a distance between themselves in their dormitory. Even though they'd shared a bed before without anything happening, now they erred on the side of caution and each kept to her own side of the room, except when they were working together on one of their many assignments.

Which isn't to say they ignored the moment that had passed between them. They looked for, and found, numerous opportunities to be alone together around the castle grounds.

Mostly they talked about it. The situation was complicated, they both acknowledged, and not just considering the challenge of the conversations they would face with their parents if they decided they were in a relationship. They were honest about their feelings, and both valued the friendship too much to jeopardise it over something that neither of them could predict or control.

They did exchange one more kiss — down by the boathouse, away from prying eyes and unwanted interruptions.

"That was nice," Anneka said as they parted.

"Yeah, I suppose," Lori agreed.

“Didn’t you like it?” Anneka’s brow creased with concern.

“It’s not that. I don’t know, I suppose I expected something more.”

“Maybe I didn’t do it right.”

“No, I’m pretty sure you did. I guess, maybe… I don’t know. Maybe I’m not ready for this… Yet.”

Anneka dropped her gaze. Lori reached out for her friend’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Maybe I’m just too caught up in what I’m going through right now. I mean I like you — you know, like really like you. It’s just…”

Anneka lifted her head and offered a fragile smile. “It’s okay, I mean we have loads of time, don’t we? This doesn’t have to be a now thing. It doesn’t change things between us, does it?”

Loris squeezed again. “Of course not. I mean friends first and forever, right?"

Anneka forced her smile a little wider. "Friends first and forever."

High up in the castle, Minerva's office gave her a clear view. She didn't like spying on pupils, but she’d been concerned. She let out a relieved sigh.

"Well," she murmured to herself, "there’s at least one problem can be put off for another day.”

Then she chided herself for talking to herself and turned back to the letter on her desk. The ministry was doing its usual thing of trying to make a problem go away by pretending it didn't exist. She didn't like to use the 'You reacted the same way when Dumbledore told you You-know-who was back' card — she would only be able to use it a limited number of times before it lost its efficacy — but this was important. She picked up her quill and searched for the right words.

-oOo-

The last day of term finally arrived. Anneka and Lori were both packed and ready to leave. Anneka's trunk had been taken down to the station, but Lori and Lysander had both received owls from their parents a couple of days previously informing them that they should each pack a trunk and keep it in their room. Anneka had insisted that since the owl had been addressed to Lori it meant that she should pack her things rather than Lorcan's. Lori hadn't been so sure, so he'd packed two trunks, one for each, and the two friends were sitting on them chatting away the last of their time together.

They'd both run out of words and were sitting quietly avoiding each other's eyes. They'd both said how much they were going to miss each other, and it seemed there wasn't much else to add.

Lori reached into her robes and pulled out a small package. "Happy Christmas," she said, passing it across. It wasn't that she'd forgotten, but this was an unspoken sign that they were about to part for a few weeks.

"Should I open it now?"

"Sure." It would give them an excuse to stay together for a few more minutes.

"Wow, it's beautiful." Anneka's eyes grew round at the sight of it.

"Unicorn hair," Lori said, taking the bracelet and fastening it around her friend's wrist. "Professor Flitwick helped me enchant it so it glows a different colour depending on the strongest mood near you. That deep red colour is for melancholy."

Anneka smiled and fought back a tear. "Thank you, it's perfect."

Lori took a while to run through all the other possible colours and their meanings, then Anneka reached behind her and brought out a small package of her own.

Lori took it, opened it and looked up confused.

"I have it on good authority that it tastes disgusting and that you have to drink it all down in one or it won't work, so be warned. This," she pulled a hair out of her head, coiled it around a finger and slipped it into a small glass vial which she then stoppered and handed over, "is the last ingredient that needs to be added just before you drink it.

“Of course you could take a hair from anyone else you might want to be and put that in instead. I just thought you might be interested in finding out what it's like to be me, and, you know, I wouldn’t mind finding out what it’s like having a twin for day. You’re so lucky having a brother to turn to when you really need someone…

“I'm told Hermione Granger brewed it, so it should last at least twelve hours."

"The evening you spent with Professor Longbottom squeezing bubotuber pus?"

"You really are clever enough to be in Ravenclaw you know."

"I wouldn't want to be now," Lori said. "Thank you for this, it's perfect — better than perfect."

They risked a hug, which the wards chose to ignore.

Anneka sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I suppose I'd better be going," she said.

"I could walk you to the train," Lori offered.

"We've already run out of things to say. Thanks though." She headed for the door, pausing, and looking back when she reached it. "You will write, won't you?"

"Every day if I can find an owl."

"Happy Christmas Lori."

"Happy Christmas Anni."

And she was alone. She packed the small bottle and vial with her girl clothes. Lori looked around her. The beds were stripped, both trunks packed. She had on a warm woollen dress with thick tights, but the top of her Lorcan trunk had a full set of his old clothes folded and waiting just in case. Her Lori trunk was considerably more densely packed, but then you could hardly expect a girl to wear the same thing two days in a row. There wasn't anything to do so she headed out to the common room. All her fellow pupils were down at Hogsmeade Station, but Professor Sprout was there, sitting in an old rocking chair, a pair of knitting needles clacking away beside her.

"Hello dear," she smiled. "All packed and ready?"

"Yes thank you Professor Sprout." Lori took a seat near the fire. It wasn't that she was cold, but rather needed some of the cheer the dancing flame offered.

"I think while it's just the two of us we can dispense with titles, don't you?" Professor Sprout stopped her rocking. The knitting stopped as well.

"Er, if you like Pro… I mean Pomona." Lori felt awkward using the professor's first name, but the wrinkly smile that came back to her reassured her.

"You've surprised me this term Lori. When I first met you I thought this girl thing was just a fad. I gave it a week, maybe two at the most, but here we are twelve weeks on and I haven't seen you out of a skirt in all that time. Do you mind me asking what makes you so committed?"

"Er, it's kind of difficult to explain."

"Take your time. I'm in no hurry." She started rocking again, her knitting needles picking up from where they left off."

"Could you teach me to do that sometime?" Lori asked, waving at the knitting.

"Absolutely. It'll take a little longer than we have now though. Ask me again in the New Year."

"Okay. Er…"

"Relax Lori. I'm only curious. I'd just like to understand what's going on inside your mind, so anything you can tell me would help."

"Okay. I guess the place to begin is the beginning then. I've always felt different, for as long as I can remember."

"Different in what way?"

"I don't know, just different. Wrong, kind of, like I didn't fit."

"Didn't fit how?"

"Well, it's like my brother, Lysander, always managed to make friends so much more easily than me. Whenever we met other kids in our street it was like he knew exactly what to say to get them to like him. I mean we only hung out with boys for the most part, but Lye would be all talking about stuff they were interested in and doing these play fights and dares and stuff, and I just didn't know where to begin. They'd play all sorts of games and Lye would try to get me to join in, and I would, for his sake more than anything, but it was like I was pretending to be like they were. It was never fun. If anything, it was scary because I was always worried they'd find out what I was thinking and just push me away."

"So, you pushed them away?"

"Eventually. I mean not at first. They were kind of friendly and everything, I think because I was Lye's brother, but they kind of sensed something about me. They could feel I wasn't comfortable around them so they kind of backed off and I let them.

"Then there were the times Lysander and I would have a Birthday party. I think the first one I really remember was our sixth birthday. Mum and Dad invited over all the kids in the neighbourhood, both boys and girls. Between the cake and games, we'd kind of separate. Lysander joined the boys, and the girls made their own group. I remember sitting apart from them both and looking at them. I had this feeling inside me that I belonged with the girls' group, so I tried to join with them. They were polite enough, I mean it was my Birthday after all, but things just felt awkward while I was with them. They didn't talk so freely; they weren't giggling like they had been before I came along. It felt like I was intruding, so after a short while I made an excuse and went off to my bedroom.

"Mum found me there a while later. She could see I wasn't happy, but she could also see that I didn't understand why, so she just sat and held me while I cried then when she'd cleaned me up a bit I went back to the party. Everyone was playing together then. Dad had a bunch of games for us all, so it was easier to join in.

"After that, I began to notice things, like when I looked at boys together and girls together, I felt like I belonged more with the girls. I've never really understood what's so much fun about doing the sorts of things Lysander and his friends get up to, but I've never really found a way to get in with a group of girls either. They've either treated me like an outsider and made me feel uncomfortable until I left, or they've adopted me as a sort of mascot — more pet than friend it felt like."

"So how does dressing as a girl help?"

Lori shrugged. "I never tried it till I came here, then that first night with the Room of Requirement, it felt like a way to get closer to the way I felt inside."

"Try and explain that a bit more, dear."

"I guess ever since our sixth birthday, I've felt kind of stuck. Ì feel like everyone expects me to be with the boys and do boy things because, well…"

"You're a boy."

"Yeah, but I don't feel I belong there because my mind doesn't work that way. I don't enjoy the games; I feel out of place just being with them. It's like inside I'm not a boy at all. I feel like I belong with the girls. I want to join in with their conversations, I want to do things with them, I feel like I think and behave the same as them, but nobody would be happy if I tried to join in with them because…"

"You're a boy."

"Pretty much. When girls see me, they see a boy and they respond to me like I'm a boy. I've wondered if I could be more like them maybe they would be more prepared to accept me as one of them, and there have been times when I've thought about putting on some of my mum's clothes because that feels like it might be a way of doing that, but in the end they'd just see a boy in a dress and then everyone would treat me like I was weird."

"So, what happened with the Room of Requirement?"

"First there was the Mirror of Erised which showed me as a girl. Not just dressed like this, but pretty and smaller and definitely a girl. Then it became the Girls' Changing Room and I wondered if it would actually change me into what I wanted, but instead it gave me this rack of clothes."

"You didn't have to change into any of them."

"No, but there was this gorgeous dress which I couldn't resist. It had buttons down the back which the magic helped to do up, and then I couldn't undo them."

"I remember it; I had to get you out of it."

"When I had it on, I stood in front of a mirror and wished that I was all the way a girl, and this woman appeared who told me I could never be one, so I ran away, and the room disappeared taking my only boy's clothes with it."

"Would you have changed back if you'd had the chance?"

"I did have the chance. Professor McGonagall gave me the choice, but not until after I met Anneka who accepted me totally as a girl and went to breakfast wearing a girl's uniform. If I'd had the choice to go back before all that I probably would have, but since everyone knew, it was like the damage had been done. Also some of the good."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Anneka sees me more as a girl than a boy, or at least she treats me as one. Most of the girls in Hufflepuff do as well. I look a lot like a girl because I'm still young enough, so it feels like I can be the way I feel inside, and most people accept me as just that.

"Then there's my mum and dad and Lye. They've all been great about this. I never wanted to hurt any of them, but it's like they're actually okay with me doing this, or at least okay enough because they can see that this is helping me to escape from feeling so down."

"I can't help noticing that you haven't completely shaken your feelings of depression."

"No. I keep thinking about what the lady in the mirror said, that boys are boys and girls are girls, and there's no way things can be any different. I’m afraid that most people think the same way which makes me kind of an anomaly. I'm someone with a boy's body who somehow ended up with a girl's mind, and most people can't get their head around what that means.

"As far as they’re concerned, most boys behave like boys and most girls behave like girls, and anything different from that is wrong. So that leaves me either pretending to be normal or being who I am and accepting that most people think I’m weird."

"But surely that was the way things were before you started exploring this avenue."

"Agreed, and the way my family and friends have been treating me here has made all the difference. I feel like I can behave the way I have always felt inside, but I can’t stop worrying that it’s only temporary. One day soon my body's going to change, and I won't be able to pass myself off as a girl any more. This term I've been given a taste of what life could be like at its best, but it won't last."

"Would you change into a girl if you could?"

"Of course I would. I mean Anneka's talked to me a little about the downside, but it doesn’t feel like a downside to me, it's just what I should be."

"That's quite a declaration. How do you know what you should be?"

"The same way that you do, I feel it inside me. You've always felt right being a girl haven't you."

"Yes, but…"

"How would you feel if everyone forced you to be a boy? How would you feel if your parents, your friends, everyone you met expected you to behave like a boy? Would that be right?"

"No, but…"

"So, the only difference between you and me is that your body and mind match, which means that when you behave in a way that comes natural, everyone is okay with it because it matches what everyone expects."

"What if it were possible to change the way you were inside so that you were happier being a boy?"

"Then I wouldn't be me anymore. Tell me professor, do you think that who we are is decided more by our bodies than by our minds?"

"That's an interesting question but let me ask you a different one. You're quite pretty the way you are…"

"For now."

"Yes, for now, but imagine you could be like me when I was younger. A girl, yes, but never particularly attractive. All my life I've been the sort of round, dumpy girl who always gets overlooked by the boys at the banquets, who always gets called names — dough face, fatty, the not-so-flying frizz — because I've always had this impossible hair." She flicked at her frizzy, grey curls. "Would you rather be as you are now and a boy or like I was as a girl?"

Lori fidgeted and thought about it. "I think I'd still rather be like you, because at least then my mind would match my body. I can't say for certain though because I don't know what it was like growing up as you. The same way you don't know what it’s been like growing up as me. All I do know is that I would do anything not to be stuck as I was, as I probably will be again soon."

Professor Sprout sat and rocked, the clacking of her knitting syncopating with the crackling of the fire. Lori wondered if she'd gone too far. She knew she had a tendency to get overly passionate when talking about her problem, but that was only because it was so frustrating. She looked across at the elderly head of her house.

"So, what have you done about it?" The kindly face held only sympathy.

"I'm only a first year. What can I do about it?"

"Well, there's the sound of self-pity making excuses for its failure if ever I heard it," Professor Sprout looked across at her young charge with the friendliest eyes Lori had ever seen. "Do you know what Harry Potter and his friends managed to do in their first year?"

Lori did know. Between them they had found out that the Philosopher's Stone was being kept safe at the school and that what remained of the darkest wizard of the age was seeking to obtain it so he could return from near death. They had also made it past seven obstacles put in place to protect it against fully trained wizards by Hogwarts seven most senior witches and wizards. When Harry had ultimately confronted the Dark Lord and his lackey — Professor Quirrel, also the defence against the dark arts teacher that year — he had stood up to them and defeated them.

"I'm not Harry Potter."

"No, you're Lori Scamander. You have Harry's courage, Hermione's intelligence — if not her academic dedication — and in Anneka you have Ron's loyalty. There's no reason why you can't achieve just as much in your first year, if only you would believe in yourself and commit to the task with the same resolve. Gryffindor doesn't have a monopoly on heroes you know.

"Come on now, think! There must be something you've found out."

"Well, Anneka did find a reference in our potions book."

"Show me."

Lori went to fetch her copy of the book, opened it to the correct page and showed it to the elderly professor. She again stopped rocking and knitting and read through the passage.

"That's not going to turn you into a girl you know?"

"No, but it could keep me looking like one. It's not a perfect solution, but it's better than what I'm currently facing. I don't suppose you have any idea what the missing ingredients might be?"

"They could be a lot of things," Professor Sprout mused. "Between Professor Longbottom and myself we could give you a list of possible ideas from herbology lore, and narrow it down a bit by eliminating anything they wouldn't have had in the Kingdom of Fareway back in this time. The list would be pretty long, and it wouldn't be complete…"

"Why not?"

"Potions aren't just herbs, Lori. Herbs may be some of the most efficacious ingredients, but you should already know by now, potion ingredients often include fauna and minerals as well as flora. There are also some ingredients that are oddly specific.

"Working out the original recipe by trial and error would be long and painstaking, and possibly quite dangerous. You'd need Professor Mugglewump's help and permission to conduct any experiments before you have your NEWTs, so it might be worth showing him a bit of friendship."

"I think it may be a little late for that. He doesn't like either Anni or me. He thinks we're the reason Professor McGonagall caught him telling all the first years except Slytherin to scrub the EazyKleen lining off their cauldrons."

"And why would he think that?"

"I may have mentioned it in one of my interviews with Professor M in the first week."

"Well, I suppose you'll have to come up with another way of narrowing the field. I'll have a chat with Neville over the Christmas break and see if we can get you started. Anything else?"

"Well, Anneka gave me some polyjuice potion for Christmas."

"A nice taster perhaps, but you'd have to be pretty desperate to use it as a permanent solution."

"Why do you say that?"

"You'll find out the first time you take it. Plus, you'll only ever be able to be someone else, never yourself. One of He-who-we-don't-like-to-talk-about's followers impersonated an Auror once for several months. Kept swigging polyjuice from a hip flask to keep the disguise going. Bleuch! That takes commitment.

"You're not planning on using it during the holidays, are you? Only you know about the rule forbidding under-aged wizards and witches from using magic outside of school? That includes potions as well."

"What if my mum or dad gave it to me?"

"Hmm, grey area. I'm not sure I'd risk it if I were you. Plenty of time to make use of it next term, that way you could share the experience with your friend. I’m sure she’d love having the opportunity to show you what it's like really being a girl."

"I guess you're right."

"Good girl."

A rhythmic tapping came from the entrance

"And unless I'm very much mistaken, that'll be your dad." Professor Sprout climbed out of her chair to greet Lori's father as he made his way down the passage, but Lori reached him first, throwing her arms around his waist.

"There's my favourite daughter. All packed and ready?"

"In my room, Daddy."

"Hello Pomona. How are you?"

"I'm well, Rolf. As are you by the looks of it. Such a delight to see you again."

"For me too, but I think I've kept this one waiting long enough." He indicated Lori with his head. "I hope you weren't too bored." He directed the last comment to his progeny.

"Not at all Daddy, but I wouldn't mind if we got going."

"There we have it Pomona. I am a slave to my daughter's whims. Perhaps we'll be able to catch up a little next time."

"I shall look forward to that. Now the sooner you're gone, the sooner I can get on with some serious and much needed relaxation."

"We're going," Rolf laughed. "Come on Lori, show us your luggage."

Lori led her father through to her room where he balked at the sight of the two trunks.

"I'm sure our owl said one trunk only, Lori. We can't take all this."

"I know. I wasn't sure if you were expecting me or Lorcan, so I packed one trunk for each."

"Well, that choice has to be yours sweetheart, but you need to decide now."

"Well, I'd prefer Lori of course." She put a hand on her trunk full of girl things. "But what will we tell the neighbours about me."

"A very good question, and one we would only need to concern ourselves with if we were going home."

"What?!"

"Your mum and I discussed it. The Quibbler will be filled with its usual Santa sighting stories, which your granddad can manage without his daughter’s help, and I'm owed more holiday than I can easily take this year. We were planning to have the usual Christmas to New Year off anyway, so it didn't take too much juggling to take the whole three weeks off. I had a few words with some of your great grandfather's old friends and we have ourselves the loan of a cabin just outside a small town in Transylvania. There are a few story leads nearby for your mum to follow up for the Quibbler, there's a magical creature reserve nearby we can visit and we'll even be close enough to the dragon sanctuary that we can organise a day trip or two."

"Isn't Transylvania…"

"Where the Muggle story about vampires comes from? Yes, it is, but they're pretty much extinct now. We'll be really lucky if we see one this trip. These days it's pretty much like every other part of Romania, which is to say beautiful, old fashioned and filled with just enough unusual to make it worth visiting.

"Sure it's this one?" Lori nodded. "Reducio." Lori's dad waved his wand then picked up the trunk, now the size of a shoe box, and left followed by a very excited young girl.