This isn't a complaint or problem. I'm happy to read comments, but I'm not looking for a solution to anything. I'm just sharing. So don't be from Mars or Venus -- whichever is the one that needs to fix things. Just see if you can relate.

If you look at my posting history, it might appear that I haven't written anything since August of last year. It isn't the case: I'm writing every day. EVVVERRY DAY. Hours, literal hours, each day. Words flowing out "like endless rain into a paper cup" as the Bard of Liverpool has it. Except that a paper cup overflows, and the rain is lost. My words go onto a hard disk with nearly 400 giggling bytes of free space, and that disk is so hard that all the words are still there, even a week later.

Well! I've been quite excited -- excited even to an absurd degree -- over a story that I've been banging away at since last September. Not constantly or consistently -- I kept jumping from one story to another -- but this one in particular was taking 50% of my attention. And then at the start of May I worked out all the kinks and wrinkles and questions in the plot. Then, after revamping chapter one, I was off. Since then, I've been zooming away, writing chapter after chapter.

Then I got to a certain bend in the story. I'd already written a detailed sketch of the chapter, so I knew where things were going.

One thing I've found, incidentally, is that writing a fairly detailed sketch of a chapter makes the chapter much easier to write, and it tends to be longer, less condensed. Longer in a good way, yes. Sure, you have to take breaks, but you never lack for material.

Overall, and quite apart from that thing about detailed sketches, I think that this story is quite honestly a breakthrough for me. I've learned something about story construction that I never knew before, and I'm very excited to get to the end so I can go back for the rewrites and start posting the chapters here. It's going to be a while (months), but taking the time is worth it to me.

The current chapter, the one I'm writing, is different from earlier ones. It's more intimate. In this, our heroine is alone with a man who makes a lot of suggestions, and those suggestions are very suggestive. And then, the two end up having sex. They can't help it, really.

I can't say I was surprised. I always knew it would happen. It was part of the plot, the plan, the evolution of the characters' relationships... and after these two sleep together, the effects of that liason ripple out.

And yet... just as they were about to start kissing, I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. I looked through the salacious lines of their lovemaking. It was pretty explicit. It gave me pause. Not because I wasn't in favor of it. It isn't me. It's those other people.

I know there are some BCTS citizens who won't read it, not even with a ten-foot-pole, if there is any hint of sex. As soon as a character drops their pants, those readers are gone.

Or so I surmise. BCTS readers don't usually give feedback on stories with/about/for sex. One doesn't want to be seen as someone who looks at that sort of thing.

Which is fine. I am perfectly fine with not getting comments. Some comments I wish I hadn't gotten, but those are few: supercilious comments in which a reader tries to assert their moral superiority to me by turning their nose up at what I choose to write about.

And -- without of course any reference to me -- every so often someone writes a blog post about "OMG - what is it with people who have sex in their stories!?" and the comments are, "I know -- it's disgusting. I read one by accident, and had to get a new computer after I threw up on it."

I read those blogs and their comments, and feel rather as if I'm standing outside church after the Sunday service, listening to the gossip about the people who aren't there. I mean really.

Are we pretending that people who go through all the trouble of crossdressing or of gender-affirmation surgery not only never have sex, ever, but also have zero interest in the topic? Personally, I think about it a lot. I think about what it would be like, and could be like, and what would lead up to it and all the ribbons and bows around it. That's why I write about it. I write the kind of stories I wish to read.

For that reason, when someone makes the mistake of leaving a holier-than-thou comment on one of my stories, I'm usually able to shrug that hypocritical crap off and later to make a reply that satisfies my offended spirit.

I haven't been able, so far, to reply to the dread-of-sex blog posts. I've tried, but it takes tact, kindness, and wisdom that I don't possess. I don't want to spoil their fun, and that makes it difficult to push back.

Unfortunately, I've come to realize that those unholy jabs -- the ones that weren't directed at me -- are the ones that have taken their toll.

I actually had to stop and consider what I was writing -- not just the fact that these characters of mine were having sex (!) but the things they said leading up to it (!!!). Maybe it wasn't necessary. Maybe I should rework the story so there isn't any sex. Then anyone could read it.

"Anyone" of course who had already passed the threshold of reading stories on a TG website.

But then the voice of reason kicked in and pointed out a few things. First of all, I'm likely to get something like 1000 hits on any given story, and not all those hits are readers. Where will I find these other people, who will come and read if there is no sex?

Second, how will they know there is no sex? Sure, there won't be a warning, but that's much like when my Grandmother asked my sister, "Will you take my TV to your house tonight? That way, no one will break in to steal it."

My sister, irritated, replied, "How will thieves know there's no TV? Will you hang a sign on the front door that says TELEVISION GONE?"

Finally, the voice of reason asked, who am I writing for? That's an easy one. Let me look in my mirror and point at her -- yes, there I am!

Anyway, after a day, the slights wore off, and now I am ready to get crack-a-lackin' once again.

That's what I wanted to share. Peace, love, and a little get-off-my-lawn. Thanks for your patience. We now return you to your previously scheduled programming.

Hugs and bugs to all
and to all a good night,

- io