A different Angel 4....

David awoke the next day the house was quiet and he worried that his dad had gone to work not the hospital. He went downstairs and saw a note from dad and after reading it smiled as his dad had gone so mum could come back and get freshened up and rest. Then a thought struck and he smiled reaching for the phone he called Mrs Wagstaff the over the road neighbour and found dad had left half an hour ago and with the bus time tables mum would be about another 20 minutes. He started to whistle as he pulled out the makings of a filling breakfast and started to cook. His actions actually surprised him, they also gave him a warm feeling he hadn't felt for many years.

Just as he started to make up two plates Helen Simms arrived and was shocked to see a breakfast ready for her with a huge mug of tea steaming next to the plate. What really surprised her though was David, the young man that had previously been a hooligan and a thug was just finishing plating up his own breakfast. The sheer fact that he could cook was a huge shock until Helen remembered that David used to love being mummy's little helper until he was 6. Neither said anything whilst they ate and as a further surprise David cleared up the plates and washed them leaving them to drain whilst Helen sipped her tea.

“mummy, I've called your work and let them know you need a couple of days.” David told her.

Helens jaw seemed to drop to hear the word mummy coming from her eldest child's lips, also the fact that he had done a selfless act further shocked her.

“thank you love, I'm still a little frazzled after last night.” Helen responded quietly.

“that's understandable , what did they say on Richie?”

Helen sighed and filled him in on what they had found last night and was surprised when David bit back a choked sob. She wondered what was going on with him but was loathe the push the issue. David looked as though his whole world was in flames and the reaction worried her deeply. Then what he had called her fired a neuron. Since when did a teenager call their mother mummy. Did she really want to push and force him back into his old behaviours because she was liking this new child. She fought back a yawn and David noticed it and made motions for her to go to bed.

David made sure his mum had eaten enough then noticed her yawning and shooed her to bed. After she had left the kitchen he made sure all the pots were washed, then he sat at the kitchen table and really started to take further stock of himself. Asking himself what his parents needed with Richie being injured, also in the back of his mind there was that little voice that he had forced down so many years. That little voice was reminding him that Richie wasn't the only one hurt, there was a little girl as well and maybe someone else who needed a big sister. He did a mental double take as that little voice seemed to be more insistent. The macho side of his personality that society expected of him seemed to be fighting with that other side of him.

A few hours passed as the internal fight continued, David felt like he was being torn apart by what he thought he was supposed to be and what his internal desires were. It started to overwhelm him and he slumped at the table and tears leaked down his face. This was it he thought he was going mad, everything he had done since childhood welled up again and added to his distress and depression. All of it was his fault Richard getting hurt, the girl running away and his parents having to worry over money and Richards disability. It was all too much and it really was starting to tear him apart. It seemed to come in cycles and his crying wasn't loud but it came from deep inside him, no him wasn't the right expression. David came to an epiphany about himself and the cycle seemed to slow down, there was no he and never was it was just what other people had expected and he was to weak to stand up to it.

Helen woke up and made her way downstairs and was shocked as it seemed David had not moved at all from the kitchen table but everything was cleaned up. It also looked like he had been crying and that shocked her as he had never really expressed his emotions so openly since that day when he was six. She stepped behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders, that was it when David felt the contact the flood gates opened. Helen enveloped him in a bone crushing hug and David leaned his head back. He managed to get control of his emotions and sheepishly turned his head to look at his mother.

“I'm sorry mum” he whispered.

“What ever for? David” Helen was shocked even further by his words.

He launched into a list of his failing and what he thought he had done wrong, baring his soul to her. Every little perceived wrong he had done, all the insults he had thrown at others when he was trying to be a man. The list went on and on and Helen realised that something deeper was going on so she let him vent. She desperately again wanted to take his hurt away and what she felt was him wrongfully blaming himself over what happened. As she battled with her own thoughts she nearly didn't catch what David had said. She stopped when she realised he was repeating it under his breath and when it finally sank in she felt her world start to crumble.

“I should of been braver, if I had been a girl then it would be better”

At the hospital Christopher sat in the chair next to his youngest sons bed, the day had been a long one filled with tests. The doctors had been surprised that Helen had not returned as they usually were dealing with the mothers in cases like this. The reason he was here was the fact that his boss had called him first thing after they had heard what happened and had told him to be with Richard. There was a glimmer of hope Richard had said that he could feel the blankets on his legs, that led to the doctors hoping that his spine was just bruised and tissues around the spinal cord had just swollen and had started to ease.

Tbc..........

Sorry for the short chapters and the long gaps in posting am just getting back used to concentrating on my writing.