I think I promised/threatened a long, long time ago that I would not post anything new for either of my two open tales - Secondhand Life and Summer of Love, until I had finished everything offline and had a complete story to dribble out at regular intervals.

I had no idea how hard that promise/threat would be to keep.

(Major writer navel-gazing follows)

I resigned myself to writing what came to me, even if out of context. And found myself with lots of disconnected pieces I really liked. But finding where they fit in the puzzle of the big picture of both stories has been really challenging.... especially connecting everything.

I always knew with both stories (and past and future ones I've already started - to distract myself from finishing what I've already begun posting - it seems to be how I work)
A] The premise.
B] Where the story starts
C] Where the story ends.

Connecting everything should be easy. Right?

This has proved trickier than I ever imagined. I would blame the Muse, but I can't afford to antagonize her. And she had given me some fun stuff that I can't seem to tie into the main narrative of either story.

So my dilemma is to post what I have, although I still haven't connected ALL the dots to reach the end of the story (stories), or to keep my word and sit on everything until I force myself to finish. Although by then, it won't matter because momentum is already lost and no one will remember or care about either story.

I remember when the Muse & I were besties. Instead of sleeping, I would just write until it was time to go to my day job - which I somehow managed to do without any narcoleptic moments. Now I have to force myself to steal time to sit down and write before and after sleeping.

Good news: My sleep-debt FICO score is improving. Bad news: My relationship with the Muse is at-best ....strained.

The stories are still a delight to write. I sit in front of the keyboard and feel like I'm the first person to read what fills the screen, and I'm as surprised as anyone to discover where the stories and characters go.

I thought by now both stories would be wrapped and I'd be on to the half-dozen or so intriguing premises I'd thought of - and started - as sort of a taxi-way for when I finally got around to diving into them. Instead I grapple with filling in the details of the stories I've already started, trying to lay down all the stepping-stones to the end. Which I wrote along with the beginning.

I know understand better than ever the phrase "The Devil is in the details". ....and something tells me he just may be a sibling of the Muse. :-P

So do I keep my word and sit on everything until finished and eventually post polished pieces every few days to the conclusion... or put up the stories as far as I've advanced them with no guarantee (and a sinking dread) that I'll stall again before finishing?

Ambivalence doesn't begin to describe my dilemma.

Thanks for reading. And thanks in advance for any input.

K@