Dinner time at the Hazel’s was unlike dinner time in my family. Sure, mom cooked once in a while, but she always got lazy and would slouch onto her bed for hours. Florence cooked for a bit until she went off to college. It was up to me; Florence taught me the basics, but sometimes I didn’t have the time to cook meals, or dad would scream about me cooking cuz it’s a ‘girls’ job’. Often leaving us to buy take-out. Looking at it now, I think my mother is more depressed than an enabler. This is odd because when Naples started showing mental illness signs, she readily took him to a therapist. Both my parents did. Probably they didn’t want to seem terrible and neglectful by letting what happened to Naples untreated.
Dinner time at the Hazel’s was peaceful and full of joy with good food. We’d sit around the table, and Mr. Hazel would ask us about whatever. Sometimes he’d ask me about my snails, and I show him pictures. Sometimes asks Frankfurt about whatever game he was binging at the time. Sometimes he’d ask Berlin about how her stuffies were doing. When I was younger, I would fantasize about him being my real father. I imagine all the beautiful parent and kid things we’d do together—everything I had to teach myself. Mrs. Hazel is just as wonderful and kind as Mr. Hazel. Sometimes I wish I could call them mommy and daddy, but that’s a child’s wish, and my childhood has long since taken.
“So, um kid, I heard you went down Devil’s ride.” Mr. Hazel’s voice was light but worried. It was nice that an adult was concerned about me.
“Yeah, I got a little banged up, but I don’t regret it one bit.” I replied, taking a sip of my drink, “I learned something about myself while I was asleep.”
“What’s that?”
I gave him the biggest grin possible, “I’m a girl named Rome.”
His head twisted around as though he had just taken a punch, “What brought you to this conclusion?”
“Well it started…” I explain the whole dream to them. Changing some bits here and there but generally keeping with the central theme of the dream, “… and when I woke up, I so desperately wanted to go back that I spent a while…” I could feel myself choke up, “I just really wanna be my true self like in the treat. I wanna be Rome. Even if I can’t go back into the dream, I can at least try to be Rome in reality.” The silence was the dinner table was papable. I hit all of them with a lot, and I know it’ll take time for them to process. That’s when I heard the sniffing; I looked over to see little Berlin crying. I scooped her up into my lap, “What’s wrong, princess?” A gargle and bubble of snot and tears replied back, “What was that, sweetie?”
“I wan’ u b girl too!” Her wails were loud as I rocked her back and forth, caressing her back and kissing her forehead.
“Poor baby, I am a girl. I’ll always be your big sister, okay?”
“’tay.” As she sniffled and fell right to sleep in my arms, I felt the tears roll down my face. I never felt so loved before. I knew Berlin loved me but seeing it was a totally different deal. My eyes left the little one and found everyone’s jaws hanging.
“Hmm?”
Mr. Hazel was the first to recover, “Wow, Rome, I knew you changed, but I didn’t know how much.” Oh my GOSH! He said my name. All I could do was give him a dopy, goofy grin, “You were never this…”
Mrs. Hazel, “Maternal.”
"Yes that, before the accident.”
I raised a brow, “What was I before?”
“Honestly, you were kind of angry, and I dare say fatalistic. Sometimes Frankie would have this terrified face whenever you have an accident. For example, when you got knocked out yesterday, he stayed with you until closing times.” My eyes twitched to the mortified Frank, who had the biggest flush of embarrassment. My heart did a hop and skip. “Seeing you now… You’re definitely Rome and not Roman.” He pushed his hand through his greying hair, “Which is very unfortunate for you due to your… family.”
I gave a half-smile, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“Rome…” He bit his lip, “I think I can speak for all of us when I say we all love you.” Mrs. Hazel and Frank nodded in agreement. No, oh no, you’re gonna make me oh no. “If you ever need a place to stay, our home is always welcome to you.” No no no, don’t do this. I can’t keep it in. I just… All three of the Hazels held me so tight as I sobbed harder than I’ve ever cried before. I… I knew they cared about me. I knew they did. I knew they loved me. I didn’t know they actually love me.
***
It was weird waking up in the Hazel house. I’ve done it several times before but never like this. It was so serene. I could’ve stayed in bed for hours if I didn’t have a little munchkin nomming on my arm like a piece of steak. Ow ow ow, the little tyke really bites down hard. I guess this is god’s way of telling me to wake up, haha. I stretched myself as I exited to the outside. Feeling the fresh air of morning is lovely. Sometimes I’ll sit in a chair for hours just soaking in the beauty.
It wasn’t long before Mrs. Hazel came out fully dressed in her work attire. I forget what she did, but I think its banking or something. I don’t remember. “Good morning, Mrs. H!” I chirped.
“Good morning, Rome. You’re up awfully early.”
I showed her the bite marks, “Berlin started her new job as a cannibal.”
The tall blonde woman snorted, “Yeah, she’s having some kind of teething phase, been chewing up all her stuffies, then blames it on a pirate crocodile named Randle Razortooth.” We both giggled at the girl’s silliness. “I need to get to work, bye.”
“Uh um, before you go.”
“Hmm?”
“Can I uh hug you?” I sheepishly smiled.
Mrs. Hazel fair face lit up, “Of course.” We embraced for some time. It was nice, really lovely. I wish it could last forever. “You know, when I was your age, I used to be so against being touched.”
“Really?”
“Yea, it wasn’t that I didn’t hate being touched, it’s that I was so scared of getting germs on me that I refused to touch anyone.” Her eyes seemed to be looking at the past rather than at me, “It’s funny when I first started dating Aachen, I wouldn’t touch him even if he paid me.”
“What changed?”
Her smile was so bright that my eyes were burning, “Love.” We stood there for several moments, “I need to get going. Bye Rome, have a better day.” She waved off to me, and I waved back.
***
Here I was back at my home. My house was a pretty decent looking home from the outside. Dad is annoying about making the yard the best and most immaculate yard every to be seen. He takes extra care of outside the house too with power washes and repaintings. But as soon as I take a step inside, the first thing you smell is stench. Not coming from the living room mind you but coming from mom’s room and yes mom has her own separate room. I try my best to keep my room tidy and smelling nice. Sometimes I’d get locked in there for hours after I would have another accident. Which is why I needed to get away from him so I could garner support from the Hazels. I knew I could count on them. They are my favorite family after all.
I tiptoed my way through the house. All I needed was whatever clothes I had, my snails, and my bike. I couldn’t bring the tank with me today, so I brought a jar to put them in and some greens for them to eat. Even though I hated my clothes, I needed to wear something before I could rummage the money to buy good clothes.
Haha, I reached it without waking anyone up. I slowly put all my clothes in a trash bag. I didn’t have many clothes since dad is very indignant about buying anything for me, even the essentials but I had enough to last me a while. I put my snails the jar and I found my helmet and bike in the garage. My bike was a little dinged up and may need some repairing to the brake system but my helmet only had a little bump. Damn this thing is tough, glad I spent extra money on it.
“I knew it.” Fuck it was my dad. “I’d knew you’d slime your way back in here.” I dropped the bag and set down the jar. Of course, he wakes up just as everything was going to plan.
“Hey daddy, I’m sorry about making you mad, I didn’t mean to.” I spoke as innocently as possible. His face turns reddish with anger. I really shouldn’t be roweling him up. “Seriously, I’m sorry. It was a joke that I took too far.”
Dad calmed down just a bit, “Well good, you can start your forgiveness buy stopping whatever nonsense you’re doing right now-”
“I can’t do that.”
“WHAT?!”
“I said, I can’t do that!”
He clinched his teeth, “You’re my son, you’re supposed to listen to me. Now get your fucking ass back in this house.”
My brows furrowed as I got into a defensive stance, “No! I’m going to go live with the Hazels.”
“All I want is the best for you son, now come back inside.”
I snorted, “The best? Really? You want the best for me?”
“Yes, I am your father, and I want the best for all my children.”
“Did you want the best for me when you sent me to that death cult, Vatican? Did you want the best for Florence when you treated her like some pet you’d sell off to some old rich guy? Did you want the best for Naples when you let Uncle Marathon rape the poor boy multiple time?”
"He didn’t rape-”
“DON’T GIVE ME THAT SHIT!!! I FUCKING WATCHED THEM!!! I saw it happened; you remember that day just as well as I do. Don’t change the memory to fit with your delusion.” My heart pound hard like an artillery shell as we both stood there in awkward silence, “If you have nothing else to say then I’m leaving.” I picked up my stuff, started walking, but stopped, “Oh and by the way, I am Rome Jackey Kellerston. I am a girl, I have always been a girl, and not you or anyone will stop me from living my truth.” Dad just stood like a statue, you could see in his eyes that so many emotions flooded him, but it didn’t matter because I was already outside and away from the house.
“Rome!” A voice came from behind, it was Florence’s friend. The one she brought from college who was staying with us for the summer. She was a very pretty with black hair and chocolate eyes with dark caramel skin.
“Riyadh? Why are you here?”
“Oh, I was totally watching your badass speech.” She rubbed her arm, “I’m an early riser.”
“Thanks for thinking it was badass, I guess. To be honest I’m about to cry and/or piss myself.” I could feel my knees wobble.
“Still that was some badass courage you have. I’m very proud of you!”
I flushed, “Oh thank you. I need to leave before Vatican finally figures out what to do.”
“Okay see ya!”
I had taken one step before I realized something, “You’re gay, aren’t you?”
Riyadh’s grin was very mischievous, “Very.”
“My sister’s gay too?”
“She’s pan, but very gay when I’m around.”
“Tell my sister that she has the hottest girlfriend I’ve ever seen. Also, tell Naples and her that I love them.”
“Damn right I am, girl! I’ll definitely send your message.” She did a cute left-handed salute before skipping back towards the house. I knew those two were together. They were so handsy and loving with each other that while I was obvious, then I still thought they were incredibly adorable together.
With everything accomplished, today is looking to be a good day.
I decided to try making a much longer chapter this round. I hope you all enjoy, and as always, have a happy happy day!!!
Comments
Rome's life is growing more complicated by the hour.
Damn. That info drop of history takes a bad situation and makes it worse, but there's still that light of hope with the Hazels. Did they discuss Rome actually moving in with them? I didn't read exactly that in the story, so I hope this isn't Rome making an assumption that will only hurt them worse. "You always have a place to stay" isn't "bring all your stuff over tomorrow," even from the best people . . . but I hope, in this case, that it is.
Melanie E.
Hehe
You'll have to wait NEXT TIME on Adrenaline Jackey!!!! *Cue DBZ music*