Birthday Blues

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Hey everyone,

So it's that day again and I'm feeling bleh. Things still aren't going great in my life and I'm in the middle of another insomnia/nightmares cycle again so I get maybe two or three solid hours a night once I finally drift off and then I wake terrified from nightmares, ptsd flashbacks, or a mix of both that are so realistic and terrifying that it takes me a good hour to shake them off and realize what reality actually is.

I wanted to do something affirming today and get out and enjoy the weather a bit to get myself out of the funk I've been in and maybe get my muse back to work. Martin and I made plans for it and it's been a fucking downpour all day, which pretty much reflects the state of my life. On the upside I got a used hard drive from Martin's Mom's old computer that looks to be in good condition so maybe this will help with some of the computer issues, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Anyway for anyone who may have been worried, I'm still chugging along, just tiredly. I'm going to try to take today as a me day and tomorrow I'm going to try to put my muse back to work so I can hopefully get back on schedule this week. She's had a long enough break.

*big hugs to you all*

Amethyst

Comments

Thanks Dot

Amethyst's picture

I know that your heart is in the right place. Hopefully things will turn around for us soon, and Martin managed to make the evening a nice one, even if the rain kept us inside.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Best wishes

I really enjoy your tales and look for any new chapter you post. Your stories have given me and others, hours of enjoyment. Take the time to look after yourself. I'll spend time rereading your back catalog and sending you happy thoughts and big hugs.

TY Kiwi

Amethyst's picture

Thanks, I'm glad that you and others enjoy my writing so much. I'm trying to get back into the swing of it today and hopefully I can be back on schedule this week.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Thoughts

Best thoughts to you on this competition of another orbit. Hope you can find some peace so you can carry on.

Thanks Nellie

Amethyst's picture

I'm still not sleeping great, but my outlook has been a bit better today and things may hopefully be turning around for us soon, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Two more days........

D. Eden's picture

And I’ll turn 60. I know how you feel Hon; it’s pretty depressing, and more than a little anticlimactic.

Do something nice for yourself, and spend time with those who care about you. It will help.

I treated my family to dinner at P.F. Chang’s tonight, and had an enjoyable evening.

But yes, Like you, I will still suffer sleepless hours tonight, and when the sun comes up tomorrow I will just be another day older.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

birthdays

Amethyst's picture

They generally suck more than they don't. I'm 46 this year, well physically anyway.

Martin's family surprised me by ordering in a nice dinner with a chocolate mousse for dessert that was to die for and then Martin and I spent a nice evening in, relaxing with movies and snuggling.

I didn't sleep much again last night, but at least I'm a bit more positive today.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

There's a lot of us

erin's picture

August and September are the best months of the year because they have the most birthdays in them. Which just goes to show why November and December are very good months, too.

Be well, live well, aim high and keep your powder dry.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Good months

Amethyst's picture

Yup, there are a lot of August babies here on the site, probably September babies too. It could just be that November and December are too cold, but at least it's fun trying to keep warm ;)

Thanks Erin, I'm doing my best. I hope that this will be a good year for us, I'm pretty sure there's only room for improvement after the last year.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

It is my B-Day today

and because of CV-19 I'm spending it alone. I can't even go and see my Mother because the care home she is in isn't allowing visitors because of reductions in available testing for the staff.

Such is life these days.
Samantha

Happy Birthday

tmf's picture

Happy Birthday
Big virtual Hugs

Loving Hugs tmf

Peace, Love, Freedom, Happiness

Happy

Happy B'day to you! Enjoy the day even though you can't share with others in person.

Happy B-Day Samantha

Amethyst's picture

I feel for you, at least I have Martin and his family, but my parents, brothers, and my kids are all the way on the other side of the continent. Covid is just making things worse for everybody though and the few of us who don't take it and the restrictions seriously just make things worse for everyone else. I hope that you can manage to make a good day of it and can do something you enjoy.

Best wishes for your next orbit around the sun, may it be much better than the past one.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Thanks

IT hasn't been a bad day. I picked the last of the Blackberry's from my fruit cage.
Lots of home grown veg with the Lamb for Sunday Lunch.

I hope that for everyone here that the next 365 days turns out better than the last 200.

Samantha

Happy Birthday...

tmf's picture

Happy Birthday
Big Virtual Hugs

Loving Hugs tmf

Peace, Love, Freedom, Happiness

Thanks

Amethyst's picture

I managed to make a decent evening of it with the help of Martin and his parents, but hugs are always welcome.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Happy Birthday!

I am glad things turned out ok and hope and pray things get better for you and Martin.

Hugs

BitStream

Happy un-birthdays too, Amethyst

Podracer's picture

I complete another lap very soon too, got around quite a few so far and maybe some of the previous ones should have gone around a different track but hey, they weren't all too bad.
Declare the next good day as an exchange birthday and use it to paint over the old one if need be, and I hope whichever way it goes you find some sleep soon.

Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."