This evening I saw several posts looking for authors or members who have not been seen on here of late, and it reminded me of the post I saw some little time ago asking about Elsbeth, who happens to be one of my favorite authors. She, like many others seems to have dropped out of sight.

This reminded me of a wonderful lady I was fortunate enough to call my friend, Denise Trask, who was also one of my favorite authors who dropped out of sight - only to find out from her brother that she had passed on. She, like so many I have met here seem to burn brightly, but for far too short a time.

I cannot help but think of all the people I have known that died too soon. Friends, family, and especially comrades - all gone in their prime.

Why am I still here when those so much more deserving than me are not? Just what curse do I suffer from that leaves me here to cope with the loss, missing them all the more. Duty demands that I take care of the families of my fallen comrades, and honor requires that I bear my burden stoically - but I miss them all so much. And late at night I cry and wonder why I am the last one. Why Lord? Have I not suffered? Have I not done enough penance for my sins?

Late at night when my demons come to visit, have I not stood before them long enough? Have I not shed enough blood, enough tears? We are old friends, they and I - but I yearn for other company now.

Death is lighter than a feather, but duty is heavier than a mountain. I am tired Lord, and want to rest - and I miss them all, every one.