The last straw

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Okay, so I had a bit of a nervous breakdown earlier tonight.

Things have been hard for years, but have gotten worse since the pandemic started and Martin and I lost our only somewhat reliable means of income. We keep getting the runaround on when the training and work for the job s/he's supposed to be starting and we're basically spinning our wheels and getting nowhere fast. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other issues that I won't go into here have also been making things harder to deal with. Also my birthday is coming up in two weeks and I've been spending the last few days thinking about my life and the fact that by and large I have accomplished nothing of note.

Anyway, minor computer issues here and there have been one of the problem and today I had a major crash and when I got everything running again (mostly) I had lost the entire chapter of MSPD that I was going to post today. I hadn't had the opportunity to save it to my external backups yet either so I guess there will be no chapter this week. I had long cursing spree in frenglish and then I broke down and cried. I am tired and I'm trying to make positive changes in my life but it's always like I'm going uphill one step and then sliding back ten. I think that if anything is going to change in our lives though that I really need to start making a concerted effort to make some money to support us, and the only way I can think of to do that with things as they are now is through my writing. I would rather be able to freely share my stories but it's a question of survival now and I have always been a survivor no matter what life tries to throw at me.

So this is what I need to do. I need to start publishing some of my completed stories (an idea that I have been considering on and off for a while now. Due to nerves, low self-confidence and a desire to share my stories freely though, I have been putting this off). I will be attempting that and I have considered a patreon page as well, though I have no idea how patreon works or what I would offer as content that people would be willing to fund me for. Anyway thanks to all my readers for their support over the years and to BigCloset for being such a great environment for writers like me. I hope that you will continue to support me as I try to move forward.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

Comments

Twice Removed

I thought that Twice Removed was uncommonly good.

Best.

Gwen

Thanks Gwen

Amethyst's picture

Twice Removed will be one of the stories I am putting forward for publication.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

I wish you luck.

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

The life of an indi publisher is a tough row to hoe. To really make money, you need to have beaucoup tittles up. I'm sure that if you needed to you could pull some of your best work from here to make a start.

By way of help, I'm pretty well versed in formatting for ebooks. As I format, I could also proof read for grammar and punctuation. I can also do interactive table of contents that helps give the book a professional look. I also design book covers. A good book cover is a major selling tool. I'll offer this help for free. Fortunately I'm retired and my retirement income keeps coming. Though it is fixed and I'm on a tight budget.

PM me if I can help.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann

Thanks Patricia

Amethyst's picture

Yeah I don't think it will be easy, the stress involved was another factor that's been holding me back, but it seems I'm going to have stress either way.

I agree that it's always a book's cover that grabs attention, if you can grab that attention and then ensnare them with the first paragraph then you have a good book on your hand. Thank you so much for your offer and I'll definitely let you know if I need any help. Hopefully the rest of my weekend will be less stressful as I work out how to approach this.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Thanks Dot

Amethyst's picture

I appreciate the sentiment and it would be nice if I could at least bring enough to cover some expenses and to be able to afford my meds and hormones again. I probably would be handling things better if I was able to take my meds to help.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

I thought that Twice Removed

I thought that Twice Removed and you various Hyperverse stories was uncommonly good. They should be publication. I would buy them!!!
fish029

Thanks fish029

Amethyst's picture

Twice Removed and Syryn's Song would be two of the first I'd put out for publishing I think.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Please let me know.......

D. Eden's picture

When you do publish, and I will definitely be the first in line to purchase!

I wish that there was more I could do to help, but you would need to be closer to me. If anything changes so that I can help, I will be more than ready to do so.

Hang in there Honey - you have a lot of friends!

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Thanks Dallas

Amethyst's picture

It means a lot to have the support of so many people who have been reading my work. It's easing my nerves about this decision a bit.

Yeah, unfortunately way up here in Canada I'm not very close to a lot of people. I'm trying to hang in there until things start to change, but it's not easy right now. It's good to know I have friends ready to look out for me though.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

One thing that can help

One thing that can help enormously to get people's attention, is to spend money on a proper 'cover page'. People _do_ look at the artwork. If there's nothing at all, no harm, no foul. If you have one of the poorly drawn cartoons that I keep seeing on ScribbleHub and related pages, it will put people off.

I can probably put you in touch with at least one, maybe more, cartoonists that would be happy to create good artwork.

BW

(I understand the need to make money. I'm self employed. Don't get caught up in any one thing; think about what else you do for other people that you could possibly monetize. )


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

cover page

Amethyst's picture

Yeah the cover is usually the first thing to grab a person's attention, even before they read the plot or the first paragraph so it's really important. Thanks for the advice and the offer, I'd try doing something myself for covers, but it's been years since I've done anything art related.

I'm looking into a few other possible ways to make some money on the side, or useful skills that I have but it may be a while before anything pans out so I'm going to do what I can and hope for the best.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

If you publish I will buy.

If you publish I will buy. Cause your awesome

>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<

Thanks Icetrix

Amethyst's picture

It's really nice to know that people enjoy my writing that much and that I might be able to make something of it.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

please

please tell us the name you will be publishing under.
a couple authors here published under a different name and me not do search well.
ed


ed

I'll let you all know Ed

Amethyst's picture

I haven't really decided yet whether to use my name here or a nom de plume, it's likely I'll use my name here, but that's one of the decisions I'll have to make while I prepare for this. I will keep everyone posted on that through blog updates though.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Publishing

Well you do what you have to do.

Keep in mind you will have to face the good or bad reviews too so that will have to be dealt with and it is up to you to decide if your psyche can handle them.

Plus if your epublisher demands its removal from BC then you will lose all those amazing reader comments ;)

Would you mind sharing as to what crashed? If it is a laptop chances are the community can do little to help you with that.

If it is a desktop PC then is there any way to replace it? Modern hardware is amazing for the amount of performance you can get for the price. For writing, a potato desktop PC that would cost no more than 500 would keep you going for a long, long time as long as a quality power supply is in place.

Kim

Thanks Kimmie

Amethyst's picture

Yeah my anxiety is not looking forward to dealing with all of that, but this is something that I need to do.

My laptop, which I preferred to use for writing, actually died on me months ago and I was unable to get it back up and running. So I've been using a second hand desktop since then that we got really cheap a year and a half ago, but that means that I'm pretty much chained to the desk when I write and I have been having more and more problems with it as time goes by. It's hard drive has a bunch of bad sectors when I checked it after getting things back up and running yesterday and I've been having problems with the usb ports and the onboard audio and video cutting out as well, so I'm concerned about motherboard issues as well.

The last few years haven't really been all that great, but 2020 has taken sucking to a whole new level :(

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Dopplerpress or not

Daniela Wolfe's picture

I'm looking to start selling some of my books too. Have you considered DopplerPress, Bigcloset's publishing arm? I'm currently weighing my options, but Dopplerpress is looking very appealing right now.


Have delightfully devious day,

I have considered it

Amethyst's picture

And it's one of the possibilities I'm looking into as it would save me a lot of effort and could help BigCloset as well. I figure that there's no harm in looking into various possibilities before deciding which I feel is best for me. I wish you luck with your attempts as well, whichever you choose to do. Maybe we'll both have our work on Amazon soon Daniela :)

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Thanks!

Daniela Wolfe's picture

Thanks!

Looks like I'm going through Doppler press. Good luck whatever you decide to do!


Have delightfully devious day,

Been there, doing that

TheCropredyKid's picture

I am undergoing MAJOR stress - though not as much as the last month or so - so i have a pretty good idea what you're going through...

Yes - we want new stories.

NO - we don't want you completely breaking down/freaking out, like i've been on the verge of.

Take your time, get over the worst of it - or all of it, if possible - and then come back stronger than ever.

We love you, and we'd rather you get better than that you hurt yourself - mentally OR physically - feeding our addiction.

Get better, THEN worry about us - we'll be here.

 
 
 
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