To Not Let Go 2.2

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n21 Cover.jpg Chapter 2.2

N21_Station.png Kari walked toward Marc, but he backed away. "So you think I'm Amos?"

"I'm not sure, " he replied.

"But, you've got a good idea." Her tone wasn't right. She never spoke that way. Especially not to Marc.

"I don't want you to be."

She looked around the room at each of us. "I'd say you have a problem." Her tone was now mocking. "Am I Amos, or am I, Kari? I guess you've figured it out now, so I can shed my disguise."

As we watched, her dark skin grew lighter and lighter. Some kind of liquid spilled down her legs as she lost height, and we could see as it turned into vapor. A moment later, Amos was standing in front of us. He looked at the sleeves of Kari's top, hanging past his hands. "That's no good, " he said, and his clothes shrunk. They changed style to what I had seen Amos wear years ago.

"It's the first time I've been in my own body since I was killed on Earth. Do you realize that?"

"So is that Carla's body?" Dad asked him.

"Does this look like Carla's body, Vernon?"

I watched as Dad's expression became one of fury. "You know damned well what I meant," he said.

"Then, I would recommend that you say what you mean."

Amos walked over to Fred. "Hello, Freddy. It's been a while, hasn't it?" He started walking around Fred and Paula. "I have to say, Paul, you sure look better than the last time I saw you."

He laughed. "Of course, the last time I saw you was when you had me killed. You watched for seven days as I was tortured."

He shook his finger at them as if he was scolding a little child. "That wasn't very nice."

Fred's jaw muscles were moving as he fought for control.

"You knew what the bots could do." I tried to deflect his attention from my sister and brother in law.

"Ah, Rose." He walked over to stand right in front of John and me. "My little flower. I told you the truth. I really am interested in you."

I shook my head. "I don't believe you; besides, John is my husband."

"No matter. You know, there's something I've always wanted to do, and with Kari's knowledge..." Like lightning, his fist flew up toward John's face. Somehow, however, John knew it was coming. His arm deflected it, and then his other fist connected with Amos' face. Blood spattered all over as his nose shattered. He fell backward, and as he stood up, I was shocked to see his face stop bleeding and repair itself. His bots seemed to be working in overdrive. He wiped some blood from the corner of his mouth, but when his hand dropped to his side, the blood disappeared.

"Excellent, Carlson. But I'll bet you can't do this." He ran towards one of the windows, and as he did, he changed. By the time he was ready to leap, he was on all fours, and he put his head down, so his antlers hit the glass first. It shattered when he jumped. I looked out at him as he turned around. He was now a ram! He shook his head as if to clear it, then turned and ran into the woods. In a moment, he was out of sight.

"What the hell?" John bellowed. "So we don't have to just look for people, but he can become anything! That's just great! This just gets better and better!" He turned to my dad. "How's this possible?"

"I don't know, John. He doesn't seem to be using normal bots."

"You think?"

How did you know he was going to hit you, John?” I asked.

When you reminded him of me, he glanced at me, and then he made a move in exactly the same way Kari always does. I can always tell.”

What? He said he was using Kari’s knowledge. Why would he use a move Kari can’t hide from you?”

John stood still as he realized the implication. “She let us know she’s there, didn’t she.”

I nodded. “It seems like.”

Does that mean Carla is still in her body?” Paula asked.

It might,” Dad responded. “I’m not sure, though,” he finished.

Why?” I didn’t even want to think about the reason.

When Carla was first, shall we say, possessed by Amos, she was a teenager, and Amos was still alive. However, we know that Amos can change a body. Rosie, you said he changed that boy to a copy of you, with your DNA sequence.”

Yes. He kept the boy's…" I paused. "Well, you know, but the rest of him was based on DNA very close to what I have now."

Unintentionally, yes,” Dad said, as he became a teacher again. “I wonder if he knew you’d eventually have that DNA yourself. Oh well… No matter. You do, and you’re a wonderful daughter.”

He seemed to draw some kind of cloak of apathy over himself as he continued. “What if he changed Carla’s body to himself, and his own body to Carla’s before he died.”

Why would he do that, Vernon?” Mom asked him.

Perhaps he knew he was about to be taken. He was arrogant enough to trust his own tech even at that age. Maybe he figured that the best way to get everyone off his back was to become someone else."

So, you think I might have ordered the death of my own sister?" Paula was trembling at the thought.

I didn’t say that,” Dad told her.

You didn’t have to! If he changed Carla into himself, then we killed her!”

I don't think Dad thought about what he was saying until that moment. Or maybe he did because what he said next was able to spur us to action. "If Carla died instead of Amos, then Kari might still be there. Carla wouldn't be, because she isn't in the body that's in that freezer. It's Amos' body."

He looked around at us, and the apathy left him. “Girls, we don’t know for sure. This is all speculation.”

I had tears leaking from my eyes as I told him, “Dad, your speculations are usually right.”

Sweetheart, I'm usually willing to place a wager on my speculations, but not this time. I just don't know about this one."

Marc wasn't doing very well. He stood up and seemed to be very shaky. "I'm going for a walk," he announced.

No,” I said immediately.

He gave me a strange look, and I told him, “Not alone.”

He sighed, and Fred spoke up. “I know you want to be alone with your thoughts, Marc, but I”ll go with you. I’ll be as quiet as a church mouse. You’ll not even know I”m there.”

Marc gave him a wan smile, then they stepped outside and off the porch.

Paula stepped to the window, watching as they walked down the path and out of sight. Our house looked out on a small lake, that covered about five acres, and the trail went around it, and into town.

On a typical day, John and I would be down at the dock with fishing poles in the water. We never caught anything, but both of us loved it. Ever since childhood, we fished together. It had been one of our first 'dates' when we were eight years old.

Paula turned away from the window and sat down. "Fred's got just as much baggage as anyone. He just doesn't know what to do about Amos."

The rest of us sat down as well, and she told us what had happened in Honolulu before she became the chancellor.

Fred agonized about the way we killed Amos. No. Not just the method, but that we had to kill him at all. He's such a peaceful man. People decided that the chancellor should be the judge for all of us too, and when that happened…" She looked around at us as if imploring us to understand. "He couldn't condemn anyone to death. He had a man who had deliberately killed seven people. We all knew it, even Fred. The penalty was death, and it took him two weeks of deliberation. I eventually had to storm into his office and convince him that it needed to be done."

She looked down at her hands. “I hated myself for that.”

He’s hurting just as much as Marc,” Mom said.

He thought it was over, and he could put it behind him.”

He can’t let go of it,” I nodded. “Just like I can’t let go of the hope that Carla is still here.”

We,” Paula corrected me.

All of us,” Dad stated.

I was about to answer, but instead, I stood up. I heard yelling from outside! As I watched, Marc came into view. He was shouting loud and looking back over his shoulder. He looked like a man terrified of something.

All six of us hurried outside, wondering what had frightened him so much.

"What's going on?" John hollered as he grabbed Marc.

"It was terrifying!" Marc half yelled and half sobbed. "It came out of the water!"

"What did?" John still had ahold of him. It looked like he'd collapse if John let go.

Marc pulled his arms away from John, then collapsed into the porch swing. "It had to have been Kari... Amos! It was huge! Some sort of creature. I don't know what it was, but it looked like some sort of dinosaur."

Paula had been looking around. Suddenly, she asked. "Where's Fred?"

"It grabbed him!" He gasped. "Pulled him into the water! I didn't know what to do! I'm sorry Paula. Its mouth was about two feet wide! I didn't know how to fight it. I... I ran."

N21_Station.png I sat up in bed, suddenly terrified. John was awake in an instant, and he sat up as well. He looked around the bedroom, ready to take on anything.

"What?" He asked, obviously fueled by adrenaline.

"I was just thinking, John."

He relaxed a bit and then reached around to his back. "Did you hurt yourself?" I asked.

"Well, I sat up pretty quick, hon."

I couldn't help but smile. I gently pushed him down, where I could reach his lower back. I began massaging it. "There?"

He groaned in response, then mumbled something into his pillow.

"What?" I asked, laughing.

He lifted his head, then told me, "The bots will take care of that."

"Yes, but it won't be as nice as me giving you a massage."

"True. What we're you thinking about?"

Damn him! I didn't want to let my mind go there again; I took a deep breath. "How do we know Marc was telling the truth?"

"We don't," he said simply.

I nodded and stopped rubbing his back. He turned and pushed himself up on an elbow.

"I'm scared," I told him. "They didn't cover this in command school."

"Well," he gave me a lopsided grin. "Had you gone to command school, and they failed to cover this situation, I would be very disappointed in them. This is a regular occurrence. Everyone should be prepared!"

John always put things into a joke if he could. I think it kept him sane. With everything we had been through, we all needed something. I took advantage of my husband's humor and stayed sane that way. Well, I also took solace in cooking and my music, but I didn't seem to have time for that anymore.

The thought made me climb out of bed, and start for the door.

"Where are you going?"

I stopped as I realized we weren't to be separate. My own orders. "Just out to the piano, John."

"Not alone."

"There are guards out there."

He climbed out of bed, and I noticed that he didn't wince. Either my rubbing or the bots had worked. I preferred to think it was my massage.

He grabbed my robe and tossed it to me. I glanced down. No. I wouldn't want to display so much flesh to the guards. I was covered where I needed to be, but as John liked to joke, I shouldn't be judged by my nightclothes, as there wasn't enough evidence.

I slipped my robe on and tied it, then we both went to the living room. Sometimes I was envious of John. He was wearing a simple pair of boxers, and I had to cover up. I sighed -- men and their being turned on by sight.

I sat on the bench, and John sat beside me. He did it a lot, and it was almost impossible for me to play with him there. I loved it, though, even when he sang with me. He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but I loved singing with him anyway. It was so special, just him and me.

I played a few notes, and the front door opened. It was one of the guards.

"Sorry, Ma'am. Sir. I heard the noise."

"No problem," John replied. "Carry on."

Once the door was shut, I started playing with my right hand. I was leaning on John, and my left arm was pretty useless for playing. I was playing an old song from a stage production dating back to before the volcanoes.

Phantom faces at the window,
Phantom shadows on the floor,
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.
Oh my friends, my friends don't ask me
What your sacrifices was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more. 1

I finished the song, and John held me as I simply cried.

N21_Station.png When I woke up the next morning, I found that John carried me to bed. I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 10:30 AM. I felt refreshed physically, but I still felt emotionally drained. I glanced at John and saw that he was still sleeping, so I got up and went to the kitchen. There was a note on the fridge from Pearl. She went with the guards into town when they swapped out earlier. She was going to visit my parents for the day.

I picked up my phone and dialed my mom's number.

"Hi, Mom. Pearl left me a note saying she was going to your place today. Did she make it alright?"

I listened for a moment. "Okay, Mom. Thanks."

I set down my phone and breathed a sigh of relief. That was a load off my mind. I opened my fridge and pulled out some things. I ground some coffee beans, and set that going; then I made some omelets for John and me. Ham, steak, bacon, peppers, onions, tomatoes, broccoli, spinach... They would be good. I started making toast and hash browns.

John walked into the kitchen and watched me for a few moments. Then he got some coffee and came back to where I was working. He set down a cup beside me and then asked, "Who's coming over?"

I looked up at him, confused. "No one. Why?"

"How many eggs are in each of those? I'm counting at least a dozen empty shells here."

I looked down at the counter and then looked in the fridge. John was right—six egg omelets. I started to laugh, but it quickly turned into crying. I thought about what had happened yesterday. That wasn't good.

I could switch my mind off when cooking, and I guess the emotional drainage had made me do that. I hadn't been thinking about anything. I moved to the table and put my head down. I wept.

I was vaguely aware of some noise in the kitchen; then I felt John's hands on my shoulders. He rubbed them, then squeezed, then rubbed again. God, it felt beautiful! I don't know how long he massaged, but the tension that I hadn't even noticed in my neck was somewhat relieved.

He sat down beside me. "Paula needs something to do, Rose."

I nodded, but I didn't know what to suggest. "What?" I asked simply.

"She was security for Fred on Earth. Give her that."

"Why can't you do it? We decided that you would."

He shook his head. "Give it to her."

"John. Her sister is gone, now Fred is gone. She won't let Kari live."

He took my hand in his, then absently started to stroke the back of it with his thumb. I don't know why, but that act always gave me goosebumps. "There's nothing left of Kari there, Hon. You've got to let her go."

"I can't do that, John, and we don't know that she's gone. She might just be buried like Carla!"

He opened his mouth, and it looked like he was going to argue, but he didn't. Instead, he took his other hand and used it instead of his thumb. "Okay," he simply said. "I will do this then. I will let Paula control the security teams, but they are to capture Amos if at all possible."

I knew that was the best I could ask for. "Sixty-four square miles. Forty thousand, nine hundred sixty acres."

"That's a lot of ground to search, I know."

"That's just the bays," I told him. "There's more as well."

"How many hiding places in all of that?"

"It seems overwhelming."

He nodded. "It's insane."

N21_Station.png John put the food in stasis, so we stepped outside. I was scared to walk around the lake, which was the only way to get to town. Our house was at the end of the 2-mile long habitat bay. The width was one-third-mile, and the whole end was our property. The lake took up almost the whole width as well. It left nearly twenty feet on of shoreline for the trail and a lovely little swimming beach. This extended about a hundred feet, and then the path went through some trees. It ended up at Paula's and Fred's house. Their house was on the beautiful little inlet. On the other side of their home was a beach. They gave public access to the lake there, but the town was hidden from our view by some woods.

This may all sound strange on a spaceship, but you have to realize, our voyage to Eridani would take a very long time. We knew that Centaurus had made their destination, but it was uninhabitable, so we were heading to the next one.

We had one way to travel that would take us around the lake in a roundabout manner, but I wasn't sure I wanted to do that. In our yard was a door that seemed to be standing free in the middle of the grass. It was an illusion created by some sort of hologram. If you tried to walk around the door, you would hit your nose on a metal wall while still seeing trees and grass in the distance. This door opened into a hall that curved upwards and would take you to the outer tubes. Not a thousand feet from our house was Heaven's Rose, my restaurant.

We decided to stay at our home for the time being. It seemed safer, and I could command from there just as easily as in the command center. We sat on the porch swing, and I started it moving with a few kicks of my feet.

"How do you suppose he became a dinosaur?" I asked.

"Your dad said any organic matter would be simple to reform."

I nodded. "But you've felt it, John. It's excruciating!"

"Just because it is for us, doesn't mean it is for him." I nodded — that made sense.

"What do you think he reformed?"

"Well, there aren't any fish in that lake."

"Huh?"

"Well, Rose. Have you ever caught anything in there?"

"You're telling me that there isn't anything living in there? At all?"

"Nope."

"Then why do we fish?"

"Didn't you enjoy our date when we were kids?"

"Well, sure, but..."

"So did I, Rose. I enjoy sitting out here with you, relaxing. Just kicking back and enjoying being together."

I had to admit that what he said was about as romantic as he ever got. It really surprised me, but before I could respond, We were shocked to see Amos walk around the corner of the house.

"Well, hello!" he said jovially.

"Guards!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Rose," Amos said, tutting his tongue at me. They won't hear you -- now or ever, in fact."

He came onto the porch and leaned back against the railing. "I want to extend an olive branch," He told us. "This station, or ship, I suppose, is now mine. It is entirely under my control. I'm sorry, Rose, but I don't think you are capable of being the leader of so many people. Therefore, I have taken over." He adjusted the way he was standing and somehow presented a more laid back posture.

"I have decided that for the time being, you have this upper side. If any people enter the passages that lead to the lower side, they forfeit their privilege of 'freedom' however fleeting that may be."

"What about Heaven's Rose?" John asked.

"You're right, Carlson. For Rose, I will allow her quaint little diner to be under her control. In fact, I will allow all establishments on the upper side of the U corridors to be under the upper side's control. However, the outer ring will be our demilitarized zone."

"Why are you not setting up a DMZ on the other side of the bays?"

"You're right. I shall allow the upper part of the Command side U corridors as well as the direct connection between bays to be a DMZ as well."

"What about the people down there?" I asked.

"They are mine." He said flatly.

"So, they are your toys?"

"They exist solely for my amusement."

I started to stand up, to scratch the bastard's eyes out, but John held me back.

"One more thing," he said, smiling. "This is contingent upon you, Rose, stepping down from command."

"Why?" John asked.

"I told you. I don't think she's capable of commanding."

I felt my blood starting to boil.

"So, do you want me to take over?"

"No, but I suppose I will allow it, as long as Rose comes with me."

"Absolutely not!" I shouted.

"Then, I want Smythe put in command."

"Rashda will be in command as long as Rose stays here, " John agreed.

"Fine," Amos agreed. "I give you no promises on how long this will last."

"We understand," I said.

"You no longer speak for your people, Mrs. Carlson."

"I understand," John said.

"Good." With that, Amos left us, walking around the house.

I felt utterly powerless.







1 Empty Chairs at Empty Tables lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

Songwriters: Alain Albert Boublil / Claude Michel Schonberg / Herbert Kretzmer

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Comments

just great

he seems to have thought of everything, and I shudder to think what he's going to do next. Hard to have much hope at this point ...

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