The Mall

Where are you going, son?"

"I'm going to the Mall, get a shirt, and perhaps a pair of cargo pants. With all the books I carry, I need pockets for my pens."

"Take the credit card and get a few more items."

"I can't; it’s too much, the car was more than enough, never mind." There was no point in continuing; I would be lying if I said I don't like my car. I love it.

"It's only a Volkswagen bug," replies my dad.

"No, the bug is loaded, far too much I cannot take it to school," I was lying, I wanted to make friends, good friends like my "grunge" friends at my previous school. The car might attract the wrong kind of person I want as a friend.

Dad was trying to be helpful, and I don't think I was allowing him a break. He was trying to make up for what we lost, but I still hurt. The only reason I agreed to stay at his house was because my mom was getting married again. The divorce had been hard on her, and things still were not right between my dad and me. My dad had called me, and I agreed, that I should come live with him, at least for a few months, to give my mom and new husband some time alone.

Mom and I worked; she was too proud or angry to spend the money he sent. Mom saved it in a bank, so when I went to college, I would not have to worry about loans. Mom told him to stop sending money after he bought me the Volkswagen Bug.

My dad hands me his credit card as I walk out, I reluctantly take it, thank him, but I don't plan to use it. Once in my car, I smile, who knows what I may want to buy. The kiss was still on my mind, and I could not stop thinking of Toni. A wild thought crossed my mind, a ring.

Two shirts, and two pairs of cargo pants, wear one while the other gets washed. I did not plan to make a fashion statement. My friends at my previous school belonged to the "grunge" group, and I was proud to be part of it. Tonight, I got the day off; as a part-time worker, I only work as needed. I heard there was a good movie at the mall theatre, so I wore one of the new pants and shirts out of the store. I want to see that movie.

I did not have a girlfriend, and now, with school and work, it would only complicate things for me. But then I thought of Toni; I would let her complicate my life. She was my first real kiss with a girl, I always thought I would tremble and be nervous, but that kiss she gave me was too quick. Once it started, I didn't want it to end; the tongue thing was something new, I resisted but gave in. The bell rang, and lunch was over, it was good. I would complicate my life, for Toni, I would do anything for her. I guess that's why I’m shopping for new clothes.

I never had a real girlfriend, but neither did my "grunge" friends at my previous school. We wore work clothes to school and walked to a nearby warehouse where we worked part-time. They needed to work because it put food on the table and helped their parents pay the rent. To me, it was much the same. I also needed to work. The difference, Mom and I had a savings account, which she was too proud to spend. Mom made sure I understood that it would be for my school expenses. My mom was proud but sensible.

I walked to the Food Court, something light; that way, I don't buy anything in the theatre. By the time I finish eating, the next movie should be starting.

On the way to the Mall, Rita asks, "Toni, why so quiet?"

"Jennifer adds, "Think of all the boys we will meet."

Clueless Betty, as some of us call her, but only behind her back. I don't think that's nice, but sometimes we can't help being bad, tells me, "Dating Brad ruined your reputation, and I hear you trashed whatever was left. I heard it was "Splendor in the Grass."

They all laugh, and I join them. Dad gave our group the name "Masa Harina Babies," it was a reference to a time when some high school girls made their clothes out of cloth flour bags. I could not understand why people bought flour. It was so much easier to buy tortillas and bread already made.

They have restrictions on dating, while I do not. But they can go out as a group with friends. That's why we are going to the Mall, to look at clothes and meet boys. Since I’m allowed to date, I wonder if their parents think I’m loose. But after “Splendor in the Grass,” I know I will be grounded until I graduated by my dad. I wonder if I'm loose.

I ask Jennifer, "Do your parents think I'm loose because I go out on dates.”

Jennifer had her mind on something or someone, so Clueless Betty, our driver, responds, but only heard part of what I said, and tells us, "If something is loose, my dad says a little screw usually takes care of the problem."

Rita, who is riding shotgun, heard the whole conversation and yelled out, "If you are going to give it up before your marriage, you might as well make it a big screw."

Jennifer had her mind on her boyfriend, and we planned to stop at Taco Loco, where he worked after school, without giving much thought to what was said, replies, "My big sister who is married and knows about these things, says, "start small."

We're all laughing and sounded loose, but I can assure you that not one of us "Mas Harina Babies" was giving anything up until we married, including me. That is why I stopped dating Brad. Too pushy and not suitable for my reputation.

We laugh, but they can see I'm sad. It is time to tell my friends what happened. "I'm ashamed of myself; I nearly told Pablo he buys his shirts at yard sales and then made him feel like a pervert. I like him. He is different. Studious has goals, is friendly, and does not care what pompous airheads think.

We drive into the Mall and park next to a Volkswagen Bug; it looks loaded.

Tears again, Rita sees them and hugs me, tells me, "I hear he is a nice guy and likes you."

That put a smile on my face; it's time to do what us airheads do best, shop.

We walk into the Mall, holding hands. Ours is a friendship that will last beyond high school. While we jokingly call ourselves airheads, our grades are good. My grades are as good as Pablo's.

We walk by windows displaying dresses, do some window shopping, we look at the girls' jeans, but I prefer to get mine from the boys' section.

I still look sad, and Clueless Betty can be naughty, tells me, "I heard Mr. Norris, a teacher, saw it all, how long do you think it took him before he told your dad that you were not keeping your diet but instead are having tongue for lunch." My friends cannot stop laughing and making fun of me.

We had stopped at "Taco Loco." on our way to the Mall. So Jennifer could talk to her boyfriend. While we waited for her we shared a burrito, they're big. It had made us thirsty, and we decide to go to the Food Court and share a large drink.

Rita was the first to see him and ran up to where he is sitting, kisses him on the cheek, and tells him, "If Toni doesn't want you, I do."

She knew this would make me angry and stop whining; make me fight for him.

"Rita, how could you? He is mine!" I’m loud, and the whole Food Court hears me.

It was time for a quick getaway before anyone recognizes us. We pull Pablo out of his chair; Pablo gets the hint and is quick to follow.

Once, far from the Food Court, Rita tells me, "We are going to see that movie everyone is talking about, and you can meet us there when you and Pablo, want to join us ."

Pablo says, "Toni and I want to see it." It was Masa Harina night, and he wants me to stay with my friends, but he is going to join us. Like a gentleman, he pays and sits next to me. Rita, Betty, and Jennifer enjoyed the movie, Pablo and I were too busy. He walks us to our car, asks if Masa Harina night is over, we say, "yes," and he asks if he can drive me home. I said, "Yes."

Betty asks, "Need a ride to your car; it's late."

"I'm leaning against it. A gift from my dad. A little too much. He was trying to make up for all the time, never mind, I shouldn't be so hard on my dad," replies Pablo.

Like a gentleman, Pablo opens the car door for me, makes sure I’m all in, and closes it. As he comes around to the drivers’ side, I wonder why I have been looking at him. I used to observe him waiting for a class to start, and made bad comments to myself about his appearance, so I could continue looking. If I didn’t find him interesting, I would not have kept looking. Why? It’s something I cannot answer.

He sits down next to me on the drivers’ side. Turn to look at him, smile, and feel I have known him for a long time. I need to ask him who his father is. His father could be a friend of my father; I know I had seen him before he came to our school. I ask, “What’s the name of your father?”

The people that call him always ask for Dr. Alonzo; I just call him Dad.

Now I know, I saw a photo of him on the wall, at Dr. Alonzo’s office, we talked about him. He told me his son was geeky, school and work are all he did, no girlfriend. It made his father sad. I told him if I saw his geeky son, I would kiss him with a kiss, he would not forget.

I grab Pablo by his shoulders, pull him towards me, kiss him as I did in school, but this time it was much longer.

Betty was waiting for us so we could drive out together but turns and looks at Rita, Rita says, "I think we should leave." Jennifer is in the back seat, opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.

Clueless Betty breaks the silence; I don't think she is going to wait for Senior Prom.

Rita and Jennifer are speechless. Betty has something else to say, "I think Toni is loose and needs a little screw."

They all laughed but are worried. All four of us had promised each other, not before marriage, or at least not before the Senior Prom and engaged.

After much kissing, Toni tells Pablo, I know your dad, and I promised him I would kiss you. She went on to say to him how his father helped her, and how much his father loved him. Sometimes tears would come down his cheeks when he would talk about him. She finished with, "I love you, Pablo, I have known you for a long time."

He drives me home but is quiet, so am I. When we arrive at my house, we sit and talk. He learns I have good grades, just like him, and that I have goals and plan to attend college, but he finds out I want more than a degree. I want a family and someone who would value our children and me more than a job or anything else.

Pablo tells me, "I always thought a girlfriend would complicate things for me because of school and work, but I want you to complicate things for me. I want you to be my girlfriend."

"I would love to be your girlfriend."

Betty takes Rita home first, and her friends’ wave by and yell, “It was fun,” as they drive away. The next stop is Jennifer's house.

Rita walks to the front door of her house, knows she is pretty but has a strict father, who will not let her date. It’s dark but she is not afraid. Knows her father is looking out the window shade of the front living room. He always did this when she went out with her friends because he loves her. It made her feel special. He will open the door, ask her if she had fun, and kiss her good night. Tonight, she will embrace her dad and tell him, “Thank you; I love you.”