Chapter 10

So began my career as a gofer. Mainly it was coffee for Triss and the Producer who was called Adam. Everyone else called him Mr Smithson, but he insisted I call him Adam. Triss was married to the director, Pierce Slater, but he had Bee to get drinks for him. Bee did lots of other things besides. I only really fetched drinks and cookies, occasional lunches and snacks.

Bee apologised for leaving me on my own for so long and checked that I was OK to be Triss' gofer. Once she knew that I was having fun, Bee was able to relax. And I was having fun. Getting drinks and cookies was easy. The staff at the cafeteria knew I was helping and usually put aside desserts or jazzed up a special cookie just for me. The most interesting part was listening in when everyone forgot I was there. It was like being a fly on the wall.

This movie was going to be very different from the original. They had attempted to modernise it and add lots more special effects, but the reason for all the tension on the set was the director was not happy with the key part of Charlie played by Lucia. Her acting was fine, it was just her expression when she was supposed to be setting fire to something. I almost laughed when I heard them say it looked like she was constipated.

They were getting way behind on their schedule and struggling to solve the issue. They had asked Lucia to change her expression, but so far, she had not produced anything credible. Lucia was also getting upset and expressing that by acting out. She was becoming more irritable and argumentative.

Triss had me accompany her to all of the meetings. Usually, I just sat behind her and everyone forgot I was there. Bee was in a similar position, except she would often have a place at the table with a pad and pencil in case there was anything that she needed to sort out. I thought I was unnoticed by everyone, so I used this opportunity to work on Bee, reinforcing the images that I had created for her.

A week passed quickly with a similar routine. By the time we returned from the set it was almost my bedtime. I had to reassure Bee that I was enjoying myself. I think she thought I was being taken advantage of.

Sunday arrived and I expected that we would go back to the forest for Bee to become Rebecca, but she had organised other plans. She explained that I did not appear to be on the missing person's list and so far, she could find no record of my family. To which I replied, 'good'. She asked me again if I was willing to divulge any more details which I wasn't and then told me that I needed to be examined medically. She wasn't sure what I had been through and she wasn't going to pressure me into saying anything, but to make sure Bee didn't get into trouble, I needed to be checked over.

This, unsurprisingly, made me quite anxious. Bee told me that it didn't matter what the doctor found or didn't find, she was not going to hand me over. I agreed to go along with it, although I knew I only had the appearance of choice. Bee drove me to a private dwelling and a lady doctor first questioned Bee, who told her all I had said. That my family had sold me to some bad men. I had somehow run away from the bad men and that was about it. She also mentioned that I seemed nervous when wearing more exposed type clothing and tended to be a bit shy until I knew the person. I tended to get along well with women, but shy away from men, apart from himself. Bee then hesitated. Confirmed with the doctor that everything said would be confidential. Hesitated some more and then realised that it was obvious that Bee needed to say something. I got up and cuddled her, hoping to help. Bee took a deep breath and admitted that she was transgender and that she knew, I thought of her as female.

The doctor just nodded calmly. “So she might be frightened of men or at least wary of them?”

“Yes,” Bee confirmed.

The doctor then quizzed me, but I refused to say anything, so she explained that she would have to examine me and that would involve looking at me all over. Did I want Bee to stay with me? Yes, I did.

The examination was very thorough. I didn't like the stirrups and her looking inside me and I didn't appreciate the pitying look she gave me afterwards.

She spoke quietly to Bee presuming that I wouldn't understand what she was saying I think. “She doesn't have a hymen and it looks as though this happened some time ago as it is completely healed.”

I realised that I had stuffed that up a bit. I mean I could have created my vagina with a hymen, I just didn't want to put something there in order for it to be damaged later. It didn't make sense. I really didn't understand why I had to create one for that girl and no one properly explained. Obviously, it was more important than I had thought. I made a mental note to slightly change my visualisation of Bee's internal vagina to give it a hymen. It was too late to change mine, now that someone had looked at it.

She then convinced Bee that we both needed to start seeing a psychologist. She had taken various swabs and even some blood, which was going to be tested in some way. If there was anything important she would contact us immediately, otherwise she would see us in two weeks.

When we got back in the car we were both quite thoughtful.

“I thought you were really brave,” I told Bee.

She looked at me incredulously. “I was brave?”

“Yes. You told the doctor your secret. Is that the first person that you have told.”

“Apart from you, you mean,” she clarified.

“No. You didn't tell me. I found out.”

She sighed. “No. I told my parents thinking that they would support me. It didn't work out. I joined a group that meet up occasionally, but I have never found the courage to go to one of the meetings. I'm not brave, not brave at all.”

“And yet, because you cared about me, you told the doctor.” I pointed out.

“OK. I can be brave for you. Let's change the subject. What do you want to do today?”

“Can we go back to the forest? I want to be with Rebecca again,” I asked with pleading in my voice.

“Sorry, honey, it is too late for that trip. Do you want to go shopping?”

“With Rebecca or Brian?” I asked.

After another weary sigh, “Brian.”

“Let's stay in and watch a movie. Could I watch the original Firestarter movie?”

“It is a little bit adult. I don't think that is really appropriate,” Bee responded.

“Fine, we can choose something from Netflix that we both want to watch.”

“OK.”

Little did she know I had ulterior motives. When we came into the apartment and locked the door, I closed all the curtains and blinds. I struggled to put a chair against the front door.

“What are you doing?” Bee questioned.

“I am creating a safe place for Rebecca to join us. I want to see Rebecca again and I want to see her dance. You said you can't be brave for yourself, but you can be brave for me. Be brave for me.”

She stared at me long enough that I was beginning to be worried then a slow smile came over her. “OK, I can do this.”

I had a wonderful rest of the day with Rebecca. Bee was always nice and kind but lacked a joyful energy that Rebecca always had. I got her to pinky promise me that we would do the same next Sunday, but with nail polish and makeup.