A family spiraling out of control.
A child forced to grow up too fast.
Is there any room left for a young girl to find herself?


Chapter 4 – Helter Skelter

 

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Author's Note: In any family, bigotry can hide behind the kindest phrases, and be cloaked in the best intentions. Later, Carl and his siblings have a wonderful Christmas, not knowing the nightmare to come. As ever please be tolerant of my failings, and forthright with your criticism. ~Persephone

Current Score: US Readers 5 – 0 UK Author

 
Photo by  Christopher Campbell on Unsplash
© Persephone 2019

~o~O~o~

Carl quickly found himself settling in to the new ‘normal’ of school. Although seventh grade was tougher and the teachers more demanding, he managed to keep his grades up despite his other commitments. Carl also tried his best to use Michael’s advice as he tentatively got to know Gail Johnson during breaks and lunch times. To his surprise it worked.

Gail was a bouncy ash blonde with a wicked sense of humor who, at five foot nought, stood nose to nose with Carl. She giggled as she told him that she appreciated being able to talk to a boy without craning her neck. They shared Miss Moreno’s Math class, and it was less than a week before she had moved to sit next to him in the class.

“What’s the point of going out with a hunky Math genius if he can’t help me with my homework?” She freely admitted to him; then made a point of sitting next to him every lunchtime as well, stealing the odd fry or touching his arm, as she marked her possession to the rest of the girls in their year.

Within a week the rumors had got back to Mom and Dad.

“So, son, how’s things going at school? Any new friends?” Dad asked with a twinkle in his eye as everyone sat down to dinner.

“Umm, a few Dad. The swimming team have been great.” Carl muttered.

Mom decided to join in the fun. “No special friends then?” She asked.

“Well, I’ve sort of been helping Gail Johnson with her math I guess.”

Jimmy snorted. “First time I’ve heard it called that!”

“Jimmy! Behave.” Mom scolded, then turned her attention back to number three son. “So, are we going to meet her? Does she go to our church?”

“I think her folks are Lutherans or some such. They live over in Lomita.” He answered, carefully ignoring Mom’s first question.

“It’s alright dear, I’m not prying. A young man’s entitled to his privacy. But it would be nice to meet this young lady who’s captured your attention. Just let me know if you want to bring her home for a study date or to join us for dinner one evening, so I can make sure we have enough to go round.” With that she settled back with a small smile and a glance to her husband.

“Huh, what she see in you Runt?” Sean demanded. “Must be desperate or blind.”

Before Mom or Dad could jump in Carl had already given his brother a scathing look. “A boyfriend I guess. One who’s on a school team and keeping his grades up.”

‘Dare he go further? How far could he push? Hell why not?’ He still owed Sean big time for his rib. Time to get some serious payback.

“If you’re such an expert Sean, how come you haven’t got a girlfriend? I mean, you’re more than a year older. No girls interested in you?” Carl paused for a moment, “Or are you not interested in girls?”

A sudden embarrassed silence descended on the dinner table, and from the looks of pure hatred Sean was shooting at him it was a good thing Carl was out of kicking range.

“Well! I’m sure Sean will find a nice young lady when he’s ready, won’t you dear?” Mom desperately tried to recover the conversation. “Jimmy, have you got your game schedule from school yet? If we are all going to come and support, we need to get the dates on the calendar.” She turned to Dad, “Isn’t that right dear?”

Carl kept quiet for the rest of the meal, hiding a satisfied smirk. His camouflage was now established. Mom and Dad were safely distracted. And best of all, Sean was now under suspicion.

‘Yeah, revenge is definitely sweet.’

Outside of school Carl found that sales of his ’Sassy’ kits were slowing down from the frantic busyness of the late summer. He didn’t mind with so much else going on. But as Kath saw her earnings begin to drop she started pressuring her big brother to come up with a new idea.

“There must be something three-bee. What about high schoolers?”

“Still living at home Sis.”

“So it’s about leaving home?”

“Pretty much I guess.”

“Well, there’s your answer!”

“Huh?” Carl glanced up with a puzzled frown. “How did you work that out?”

“Simple!” She giggled. “Kids leave home. Mom and Dad are happy to get rid of them out of the house. So they send a kit to make sure they don’t come back! We’d use most of the stuff from the Sassy kit with a few tweaks.”

“That’s pretty cynical at your age Sis. So what would we call it?”

Kath bit her lip. “Um, let me think about that.”

They worked together in silence for the next half hour before Kath let out a sudden screech. “Oh yeah!”

“Jeez Kath!” Carl winced, “talk about attacking my eardrums.”

“I’ve got it!” She exclaimed. “Natty!”

“And that stands for?”

“New Adult Take-off Tackle.” She stated proudly.

Carl gave her a steady thoughtful look, long enough for Kath to start fidgeting.

“Well? What do you think? Can we do it? Huh?” She demanded.

“It sounds workable.” Carl decided. “Let me do some research and try out a few test kits okay?”

“Yay!” Kath jumped up and gave her bro’ a big hug. “You’ll see. It’s going to be wicked. And this time I get a share of the profits too! Thank you soooo much big bro’.”

“Huh?” Carl hadn’t seen that one coming.

“Well, it was my idea.” She told him reasonably. “It’s only fair. And you don’t have to tell Mom and Dad about it.”

Carl laughed as Kath tried the innocent look she normally saved for Dad on him. “Okay my devious munchkin.”

He thought for a moment. “Ten percent of the profits, after you’ve been paid for making up the kits. And we keep it absolutely just between the two of us. Not even a hint of a word to anyone. Not Mom, not Dad, not Jimmy or Sean, not even your best friend at school. Cross your heart promise?”

Kath immediately stuck out her hand to shake. “Cross my heart promise… partner.”

As they settled back down Kath turned serious again. “Do you think Mom’s looking better?”

“Not sure Sis. I don’t think she is looking worse.”

“I’m still worried.”

“They still haven’t said anything. Do you think it’s just, like, she’s getting old? I mean she’s like forty.”

“Umm, maybe.”

“We’ll keep watching okay?”

“Okay.”

~o~O~o~

A week before Thanksgiving a very tanned and tough looking Michael Braybrooke returned to the States, or CONUS, as he now called it. He’d made a point of calling Mom and Dad the first day he was back to renew his invitation to Kath and Carl.

“They’ve sorta got themselves adopted by the Company; our two ‘cookie monsters’.” He laughed, “a bunch of the guys sent back some presents for them and insisted I hook up. So we’re all good for tomorrow night? Mom and Dad are really looking forwards to meeting them properly, and I’ll make sure they get home safely and at a sensible time as I know it’s a school night.”

Despite her misgivings about Charlie Braybrooke, Michael bulldozed over Mom with sweet talk until she finally approved the invite. “Great! I’ll pick them up at five and have them home by nine Mrs. McCarrick.”

The next afternoon Mom was fussing around her two youngest as they waited for Michael to turn up. “Kathleen, it will be cold later on. Go and get a warmer coat please dear.”

“But Mom…”

“Kathleen.” She gave her daughter a stare. “Hurry up now so you don’t keep Michael waiting.”

“Yes Mom.” Kath sighed and headed back up the stairs.

“Carl, while Kathleen’s not here, I want you to promise that you’ll keep her away from Michael’s brother you understand?”

“You mean Charlie?”

Mom pursed her lips. “Yes, that one.”

“Uh, I’ll try mom, but it’s only a small family party. You don’t want us to be rude to Mr. and Mrs. Braybrooke do you?”

“Of course not dear. Just… do your best. You understand?”

“Okay Mom.” Carl sighed.

“Good boy.”

By the time Kath got back down stairs Michael was at the door, and with a wink to Carl and his mom, held out his arm with old fashioned chivalry to escort a suddenly flustered Kath out to the car. “They’ll be home by nine ma’am.” Was his parting shot.

“Who else will be here tonight Michael?” Carl asked as they meandered north through the side streets of Harbor City.

“Well you guys of course, Mom and Dad, Aunt Carol and her two girls. They’ve come down from Seattle. Oh and Charlie and his boyfriend.” He rattled off.

“Uh, boyfriend?” Carl tried to hide his shock as he glanced back to his sister.

“Yeah, Peter and Charlie have been going steady for a couple of years.” Michael blithely continued on. “You’ll like Peter, he’s a really great guy.”

“Um Michael? Mom and Dad thought you didn’t know about Charlie and all. It’s like we only found out last month from Oak View. They thought you’d be upset or something.”

“Why should I be upset? He’s my brother. The family have known since he was twelve. It’s no big deal.” Michael glanced over to Carl and Kath for a moment. “I guess your parents don’t exactly approve?” He asked.

“Not just Mom and Dad. Jimmy and Sean have been pretty nasty too. Jimmy says that the JV team are going to make sure he moves schools.” Kath volunteered.

“Did he now? Did he say how or when?”

She gave a little pout. “I didn’t hear. Sorry.”

Michael thought about that for a moment, then turned his attention back to her brother. “So Carl, do you have a problem?”

“Uh, No! I’ve always liked Charlie. I always thought he was a good guy and, like school says, everyone’s different… It’s just that Mom and Dad are…” He wavered.

Michael took pity and cut him off. “Yeah, I get it Carl. Just remember to keep thinking for yourself, okay?”

Carl looked over at Kath and got a nod in return. “Michael? If we hear anything more we’ll let you guys know okay?”

Michael smiled at the two youngsters as he pulled up outside his parent’s place. “Thank you, both of you. Knowing someone is keeping an eye out for Charlie, while I’m not around, will be a relief. Just make sure you keep it secret alright?”

“We won’t say anything.” Kath chimed in, “We’re good at keeping secrets.”

When Michael dropped them back off that night, Kath and Carl thanked him profusely and climbed out clutching their loot. Uniform patches, a tattered US flag that had hung over the guys’ forward operating base, pictures of the guys and Hoover, and a personal letter from the Company Commander, who told them he didn’t really mind having his leg bitten off occasionally.

As Kath headed for the door Carl slowed her down. “Sis, remember, you didn’t speak to Charlie, you barely saw him, and you’ve never heard of Peter.”

“I liked Peter, he was a real goof!” She chuckled.

“Sis! This is important. Mom made me promise to keep you away from Charlie. You can’t say anything!”

“Sheesh! Alright already. I won’t say anything.”

In front of them the front door swung wide as Kath plastered a big smile on her face. “Hi Mom! Look what we got!”

Mom gave them both a hug and waved as Michael pulled away. “So did you have fun?” She asked, leading them both into the kitchen for hot chocolate and interrogation.

Carl kept quiet as he let Kath chatter on for both of them. He figured it would be easier for him to make his story match hers if needed, and Mom would most likely think she could catch Kath out if she fibbed. He smiled to himself at the thought. Some chance! The munchkin could be seriously devious when she put her mind to it.

Eventually his sister was sent to get ready for bed and Mom had Carl all to herself. “So was he there?”

“It was a family party Mom.”

“Did anyone talk to you about it at the party?”

Carl blessed the fact that they’d talked with Michael in the car beforehand, so he could be absolutely truthful. “It wasn’t mentioned Mom. Everyone was too busy making a fuss of Michael.”

“Hmmm, they probably didn’t want to say anything in front of children.” She mused to herself. “And Kathleen? You kept her safe and away from him young man?”

Carl laughed. “Mom, Michael’s Aunt Carol had come down from Seattle with her daughters. Even if Charlie had tried to talk to her, he couldn’t have got a word in edgeways when Kath and those two got going.” Then he turned serious. “Mom, Michael’s mom, dad and aunt were with us all evening. I was watching as well. Kath was safe the whole time, I promise.”

Mom gave a tired smile. “You’re a good boy Carl. You always do look out for your sister.” She reached over and kissed his forehead. “Now up to bed with you. You’ve got school in the morning.”

Later in bed Carl replayed the conversation with Mom. He hadn’t said a single lie, so why did he feel so guilty?

~o~O~o~

Through Thanksgiving and the run up to Christmas Carl started to feel like he was living a double life.

Mom and Dad had finally met with Gail and her parents at a swim meet, and approved, despite their not being Episcopalian. She’d even been over for a study date and visited the fabled corporate headquarters of Carl’s business empire.

“It’s a bit dark and pokey isn’t it?” Gail observed, looking around the cellar work room. Its walls lined with shelves of boxes, while two stools and an old table tennis table served as a work bench in the middle.

“The rent’s free and it’s a short commute from home. Everything the budding entrepreneur needs.” He grinned and hammed it up. “You’ve heard of Trump Tower, now you’ve seen McCarrick cellars. Far more eco-friendly and less likely to be visited by Russians!”

Gail chortled. “God Carl, don’t give up your day job!”

“C’mon, we better get back upstairs before Mom sends…”

“Gail? Carl? Do you kids want hot chocolate?” Mom’s voice echoed down the steps.

“…in the hounds.” He sighed theatrically.

Gail grinned and grabbed his hand, pulling him up the stairs behind her. “Yes please ma’am.” She called ahead.

Carl had also been allowed to go shopping to the mall with Gail, after hitting Dad with a demand for an exorbitant wad of moolah.

“You want how much!”

“It’s nearly Christmas Dad.” Carl explained. “I’ve got to get presents for you, Mom, Jimmy, Sean, Kath, Aunt Megan, Gail, Michael, Miss Moreno, Coach Andrews and Sifu Torrence. It’s not like I’m spending it on myself.” He paused and leant in close. “Dad, can you keep a secret? Half of that is for Mom, Kath and Aunt Megan. I’m planning on paying for them to have a girly spa weekend together after Christmas. I know Mom’s been looking real tired, so I guess she deserves a nice break, yeah?”

He watched as his dad froze for a moment, then swallowed hard.

“That’s… uh, that’s a great idea son.”

“So, you’ll get me the cash?” Carl asked in surprise. He’d expected a harder fight.

“Uh, sure, I’ll drop by the bank tomorrow. Just be real careful son. Don’t go flashing it around.”

“You got it Dad.”

In the end Carl paid for the spa experience with his card and tucked half the cash safely away alongside his ‘treasures’. The rest of his Christmas shopping had been a huge rush and he’d loved being able to buy his family really nice presents. The only things he ended up buying for himself were ‘sorta’ work related. A USB data dongle for his laptop, so he could get online without touching the family wifi. A cheap mobile phone. Prepaid SIM cards for both the ‘phone and dongle. And a handful of high capacity USB memory sticks. All for under two hundred bucks!

Now that he had a safe private place and an unmonitored internet connection, Carl was finally able to begin his online research properly. Cassandra started visiting TG chat rooms and websites, signing in as CassieM with a Gmail account. She looked up local LGBT groups in the LA area, especially ones that helped kids, carefully noting down their details in an encrypted folder. When she finally realized that she could do nothing legally without her parents’ permission, she hunted out online pharmacies and asked around for other’s opinions and suggested dosages.

Three weeks before Christmas she nervously used her card to place an online order for a six months’ supply of Spironolactone, addressed to be delivered to the Seven Eleven.

For the next fortnight Carl was as nervy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. This was the first time he had done anything that couldn’t be hidden or explained away if Mom or Dad found out. Would the pharmacy rip him off? Would Customs and Border Protection intercept the package and send someone to investigate? Would Mr. Barnes at the Seven Eleven realize that he’d been buying pills and tell his parents? Would he get caught red handed trying to smuggle them into the house, or would Mom find the secret hiding place he’d prepared? Although he tried to keep up a brave face, Carl was almost sick with worry.

“Afternoon Mr Barnes, anything for me?” Carl was sure his voice squeaked as he asked, but the store owner didn’t bat an eye.

“Yep, two for you youngster. I’ll just get them out the back.”

Carl pulled a ten-dollar bill from his wallet as Mr Barnes returned, loaded down with a large and small carton.

“Here you go.” He handed them over and accepted the bill in return. “So how’s Harbor City’s youngest business mogul?”

“Getting by sir, getting by. Margins are tight and sales could be better.” Carl quipped despite the dryness of his mouth.

Mr Barnes let loose with an uproarious laugh. “Story of my life young man! Though it took me twenty years to learn that lesson. Oh my!” He wiped his eyes. “You’d better get along there son, otherwise we’ll be here all day swapping sob stories.” He chortled.

By the time Carl got back home with his awkward load, his arms felt as if they were being dragged from the sockets. “Mom, I’m home.” He called out, even as he started heading down the stairs. He couldn’t get stopped now. Down to the bottom, boxes down, fumble out his keys, unlock the work room, grab the boxes, hit the light switch with his elbow on the way past, heel to the door, drop the boxes on the work table.

He grabbed the smaller carton. No identifying marks on the outside other than a customs declaration. ‘Male pattern hair loss capsules’ it read. He sliced open the tape and wrapping to reveal six packages of pills, each labelled ‘Spironolactone 100mg’. Carl let out an explosive sigh as the last few weeks’ worry fell from his shoulders.

“Dinner will be ready in five minutes. Make sure you all wash your hands.” Mom called out from the kitchen.

Carl quickly scanned around the room before spotting space on one of the higher shelves, still just out of reach of Kath. On tip toe he poked the package up onto the shelf and quietly locked up behind him. He’d have time later to move the tablets into his secret store.

The final rush of getting ready for Christmas and finishing up schoolwork kept Carl too busy to do more than hide his tablets more securely. He’d decided he would take his first pill on Christmas Day as his first special secret present to himself. His second was even more secret and an awful lot more expensive.

The balance on his debit card had gone up to three and a half thousand dollars, and Carl had felt for some time that he ought to think about some sort of investment. The problem was almost no one was going to allow him to show up and invest. Not without an awful lot of questions being asked. Surprisingly it was his Gail who gave him the answer.

“Carl, I’ve got this assignment from Mister Pangyros and I’m stuck.”

Carl grinned. Mister Pangyros was the Social Studies teacher and renowned for wacky assignments. “Go on, what’s this week’s special torture?”

“We were talking about money. You know, straightforward dollars and cents and how banks work. Then right at the end he started going on about some weird electronic money based on some super hard math. Anyway the assignment is an essay.” She dug in her bag for a moment. “Here you go, ‘Is the digital currency Aetherium the future of money? Discuss.”

“Wow! He really has gone left field this week.”

“So, I was thinking, with you being such a math wiz, that you’d know all about this sort of stuff and it’d be real easy for you to let me borrow your notes and explain everything to me?” Gail ducked her head and peeked up at Carl, fluttering her eyelashes as she did.

“Have you been practicing that on your Dad?” Carl asked.

“Practicing what?” Gail tried to look sweet and innocent.

“The head tuck, peek and flutter.” Carl mimicked her earlier attempt. “It’s getting better, so I’ll give you seven out of ten; but you’re gonna need a solid eight point five to get the allowance raise you’re after.”

Gail burst out laughing. “Okay, ya got me. So, straight up. Can you help with my assignment? Pretty please?”

“Yep.”

“I mean I’ll be really grateful…”

“Gail. I already said yes. When’s the assignment due?”

“Uh, next Wednesday.”

“Okay, I’ll have some notes ready for you at Monday lunch. We can talk about it then. Will that work?”

“Yes!” Gail squealed. “You’re the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Then she dived in to plant a sloppy kiss on his cheek before running out of the cafeteria.

On Monday Carl spent lunch taking her through the joys of cryptocurrencies.

The next Friday he took a deep breath and pressed the ‘confirm’ button. He was now two thousand dollars poorer and one thousand Aetheriums richer. Whew! That same afternoon he downloaded the electronic wallet they came in to an encrypted folder on his laptop, then copied the folder onto two of his new USB sticks.

However not all of his Christmas surprises were nice ones.

“Carl, you are going to have to move back in with Sean tomorrow.” Mom advised the family over dinner. “Your Great Aunt Megan will be staying with us from Monday, and I need a day to get the room ready.”

Much as he loved Aunt Megan, Carl was not best pleased at losing his hard won privacy. However it wasn’t as if he had much choice. “Sure Mom. I’ll also do a thorough clean up behind me. Save you the work. Do you think Sean could clean up our room as well? Last time I passed the door it smelled like he’d been trying to make blue cheese out of his sweaty socks.”

“Urgh! Carrrl, do you have to? I’m trying to eat here.” Kath complained.

Carl glanced at her plate. Yep, blue cheese dressing on her salad. “Sorry Sis.” He mumbled, trying not to smirk.

“I think that’s fair. I’ll inspect both rooms before dinner tomorrow. Okay boys?”

“Sure Mom.” Carl replied with a happy smile as Sean just about managed to grunt, then he allowed Dog breath’s ‘burn in hell’ glare to warm him to his toes.

~o~O~o~

When Great Aunt Megan arrived it was like a small whirlwind had hit the McCarrick household. Great Aunt Megan (“Call me Aunty Meg”) was as different from her older brother, the Reverend Noakes, as chalk and cheese. An unmarried free spirit who had put her nursing career before starting a family, it was only four years since she retired, although she seemed busier now than ever, with the family getting a stream of emails and photos from all over the world. Carl had long ago decided that God had seen what a dour grumpy guy Grampa Noakes was going to be, and decided to balance the books with his little sister.

The staccato rap on their front door was the first clue, followed by a scream of delight from Kath, “Yay! Aunty Meg! You’ve made it!” Then Kath was grabbed and swung up in a circle even as Aunty Meg was greeting the rest of the family.

“Brian, Marie, it’s so wonderful to see you both! Come here and give me a hug now that I’ve finished tormenting our noisy little princess. Seasons greetings, Peace and Joy upon you all. Now where are those rascally nephews of mine? Still shooting up like sprouts? Not sure why we compare them to sprouts. I always hated Brussels sprouts as a child. There you are boys! Now let’s see if I can remember you all… Now, you’re Jeremy, you’re Seamus and you must be Cuthbert?” She decided with a twinkle in her eye.

“No, I’m Cuthbert, he’s Seamus!” Jimmy laughed as he started the family joke.

“No, I’m Cuthbert!”

“I’m Cuthbert!”

Dad shook his head and grinned. “Marie! I thought I told you to lock up the Monty Python DVDs?”

Mom just laughed. “Come on through to the kitchen Aunt Meg. I’m sure you could do with a cup of tea while we leave these big strong guys to porter your expedition supplies up to your base camp.” Mom teased, looking at the pile of bags Aunty Meg had dropped in the hallway.

Aunty Meg threw herself into the preparations for Christmas as always, all but banishing even Mom from her own kitchen.

“Hey! I taught your Mom to cook in this very kitchen when she was a little girl. This old boot still has a few secret recipes tucked up her sleeve; so either come in and study at the feet of the Pecan Pie maestro or begone evil raider of the cookie dough!”

“Hey! I was FIVE!” Kath complained theatrically. “I thought you’d finished with it.”

Aunty Meg arched an eyebrow. “Just after I added the chocolate sprinkles?”

“Never goin’ to live that down Sis!” Jimmy chortled.

Aunty Meg was always scrupulous in making sure she made equal time for each of her grand nephews and niece. So, on Christmas Eve, she elected herself to drive Carl round to drop off his presents to Michael and Gail’s homes.

“Brian, I’m stealing the van!” She called out as the two of them headed for the door, then winked at Carl. “C’mon Kiddo, let’s make like bandits.”

After he’d given his Aunt the directions they headed off. “I hear you’ve had an eventful year.” She mentioned.

“It’s been pretty busy.” Carl agreed.

“A great GPA, making the school swim team, getting a girlfriend, being adopted by the Marine Corps, not to mention discovering you have the Midas touch?”

“Huh?” Carl looked blank.

She snorted in amusement. “Kids these days! You know? King Midas and the golden touch? Greek mythology? No?” Aunty Meg eventually gave up. “You have a knack for making money,” she translated.

“Just lucky I guess.”

“You make your own luck much of the time young man. And you’ve made your Mom and Dad really proud. Don’t put yourself down.” She flashed him a smile. “Now, who’s this Michael we’re going to see?”

“Well we won’t actually see Michael. He doesn’t get back from his deployment until March, and I sent something off in the mail a couple of weeks ago. So we’re just saying hi and dropping some presents for his family.”

“Including Charlie?”

Carl froze in his seat. “You know about Charlie?” He asked cautiously.

“Let’s just say that there were a lot of things your Grampa and I never agreed on.” She snorted. “More like fought over like cat and dog. People like Charlie were one of them.”

“But Mom…”

Aunt Meg cut him off. “Your Mom was fed all sorts of complete bull by your Grampa when she was a little girl. Sadly, much of what we are taught as children can infect our thinking for the rest of our lives. Don’t judge her too harshly Carl.” She sighed and gave Carl a long look as they pulled up outside the Braybrooke’s home. “You don’t, do you? Judge people?”

Carl thought about it for a second. “I guess not. Mom’s still Mom and I love her. She’s just got some hang ups. And Charlie has always been kind to Kath and me, and his boyfriend is a real joker. Anyway, who am I to judge anyone?”

Aunty Meg reached over and ruffled his hair. “That’s a good attitude to have kiddo… and Carl?” She caught his gaze with her own emerald eyes. “If you ever need someone to talk to, really talk to, in absolute cross your heart secrecy, you have my number okay?”

An unexpected wave of relief swept over Carl. “Thank you Aunty Meg. I mean it. Thank you.”

Christmas Day dawned wet and miserable. Fortunately, none of the McCarrick household were up to see it. Even Kath had slept in after staying up way too late to attend the Midnight service. When the family did emerge it was to the smell of bacon and coffee.

“Last one down does the washing up!” Aunty Meg yelled up the stairs. “Second to last down doesn’t get any bacon!”

Twenty minutes later the family were fed, watered and gathered round the Christmas tree in dressing gowns and wraps.

“Kathleen, will you do the honors?” Dad asked as always, sending his daughter scooting over to the pile of presents where she started handing them out with an infectious joy that more than made up for the blustery gloom outside.

“Mom, Dad, Me! Uh, Sean, Aunty Meg, Carl, Mom…”

Steadily the pile of presents shrank and the family began to rip away wrapping paper from their gifts.

“Oh wow! Thanks Mom, thanks Dad!” Jimmy revealed a signed and framed photo of Andrew Whitworth of the LA Rams.

Carl watched from behind his own pile of presents until Mom, Kath and Aunty Meg had all paused from admiring theirs. Then, with a nod to Dad, handed each of them an envelope. Intrigued, they each pulled out a card and started reading.

“Oh Carl! You shouldn’t have!”

“Woo hoo! You sure know how to do things in style young man!” Aunty Meg chortled.

“Oh wow! But, uh, am I allowed to go for a weekend?”

“Check the dates munchkin, then compare them with your Mom’s and Aunty Meg’s.” Carl advised his little sister.

The three ladies compared their invites. Then Kath let out a whoop of joy as she rushed over and wrapped her arms around her favorite big brother. Unnoticed by all but her husband, Marie and Megan gently hugged as happy tears spilled down their cheeks. Brian turned away as he dabbed at his own eyes.

Later that day Carl slipped away to his work room.

Cassandra smiled as she popped out the first Spironolactone from its bubble, admired it for a moment, then swallowed it down. “I’ve started.” She whispered to herself.

Many years later, Cassandra fondly recalled that that Christmas had been the last happy time in Carl’s life.

~o~O~o~

The New Year arrived, school restarted, and the girls headed off for their spa weekend; leaving Dad to cook for his sons. A task he achieved pretty well with the help of Five Guys and Blaze Pizza.

When the ladies got back home all three were happy and bouncy, and each in turn made a fuss over Carl, leaving him blushing like a stop sign and his Dad and brothers chuckling. The only surprise was that Aunty Megan didn’t show any signs of heading back to her home in Pasadena, but continued cooking and helping round the house. It was at dinner the following Friday they found out why.

Dad rapped on the table after everyone had finished, then reluctantly cleared his throat. As the quiet settled he looked each of their children in the eye. “Kids, your Mom and I have got some news for you. It’s not great, but it’s something we are going to have to deal with. All of us, as a family.”

He sadly turned to his wife. “Marie? Honey?”

Mom kept her eyes downcast to the table, until Aunty Meg reached over to grab her hand. Carl and Kath exchanged a look, fear blossoming in both their eyes.

“Uh, kids.” Mom eventually lifted her head, unshed tears glittering. “Last summer I was feeling a bit tired and run down so I went to see the doctor.”

Carl nodded, remembering the day he was released back to start training again.

“Anyway, they ran some tests.” She went on. Her children still and silent around her. “Well, there seemed to be a problem, so… they ran some more tests. Then a little while ago your father and I were asked to go and talk to the doctors about what they had found.” Mom sucked down a shuddering breath, heedless of the tears starting to run down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry. I’ve… I’ve…” She turned a despairing glance to Aunt Megan who tightened her grip on her niece’s hand.

“What your Mom is trying to say is really hard, and she needs you all to be really strong. She has been diagnosed with cancer.” Aunt Megan choked for a moment before rallying. “There’s all sorts of treatments and surgeries available now, and your Mom will be getting the best possible care. She is going into hospital next Tuesday so the doctors can operate to try and remove the cancer.”

“But Mom’s going to be alright? She’s going to get better?” Sean demanded.

“The doctors will do their best Sean, and the results they get nowadays are a lot better than they used to be.” Aunt Megan answered gently, still hugging her niece.

“Why Aunt Megan? Why Mom? She didn’t do anything. It’s not fair!” Kath wailed, then threw herself onto Mom’s lap as Dad and Jimmy looked on, stunned and uncertain.

Carl watched his family, a sense of detachment sliding over him even as his own tears fell. He saw the desperate denial in Sean’s face, angry and afraid as his bedrock started to crumble beneath his feet. He listened to the muffled sobs of his sister, repeating “It’s not fair,” again and again into the soft wool of Mom’s top while Mom awkwardly stroked her daughter’s hair. He noted Dad and Jimmy, their poses mirroring each other, uncertain, helpless, vulnerable. Finally, he watched Aunt Megan, her eyes sad with bitter experience and brimming with compassion as she held Mom gently, supporting her through the nightmare that had descended upon the family.

Under the table Carl reached to capture his Aunt’s other hand. He squeezed softly; willing his own strength and love to support the woman who, despite her calm, was desperately trying to hold the shattering pieces of her niece’s family together.