“So according to Melissa, we’re meeting her here and she’s giving us a spare key to the theater,” Aleah informed as she turned left into a parking lot behind what looked like the shadiest building in the city. That’s a lot coming from me, by the way. Woodcrest had seen its fair share of ‘shady’ buildings, with one of my favorites being an old record store that housed a pallet of cocaine in the back room. I guess at some point the police realized that a vinyl record store was a little bit out of place in a college town. I wondered what kind of drugs this shithole was hiding.

“She’s just…going to give us the key?” I raised an eyebrow.

“We’re plenty trustworthy,” Aleah shrugged. “If anything went wrong they’d just blame it on GAT and we’d have even bigger problems, see how that works?”

“I guess so,” I nodded. “So what do we do when we find her?”

“We get her to come back, we have her talk to Panhellenic-“

“Are you going to dress her up?” Leina asked from the back seat. “I wanna do it.”

“Uh…sure, you can do it,” I nodded. “But first we have to literally FIND her.”

“I want to try frosted lipstick on her, something in pink,” Leina nodded. “I have this liquid one that will look SO adorable on her.”

“It’s like she has a new toy,” Aleah rolled her eyes as she parked and switched the engine off. The van ceased rumbling, I stared straight ahead at a chain link fence, overgrown with vines and punctuated with a faded sign that probably said ‘no parking’. There were few other cars in the lot, a rusted Chevy HHR lingered at the far side. Melissa probably lured us here to murder us. We probably deserved it. “Okay everybody out, I don’t know what this is about, but you know…theater nerds.”

I kind of resented that term, I was starring in their stage production of Les Miserables as Eperdine…or whatever it was. Did that make me a theater nerd? I shook my head, pursed my lips, and followed Aleah across a broken asphalt parking lot toward the back door of…whatever this building was. Honestly it looked like an abandoned store, but I was slightly reassured when the aging metal door popped open and Melissa appeared in her usual attire; an oversized turtleneck, huge glasses, and a pair of leggings that she could have easily stolen from Aleah’s closet.

“Hey guys,” She smiled. “Come on in, I have the key back here somewhere.”

“Thanks,” Aleah said with clearly faked gratitude. “We really, REALLY appreciate this.”

“Oh it’s no problem at all!” Melissa said cheerfully as she led us through the doorway. “You know I only want the best for Audrey and right now, it seems like the GAT house staying intact MIGHT just be for the best, even if I disapprove of how you guys operate.”

“I um…we’re trying to do better,” Aleah said apologetically. My eyes finally adjusted and I noticed that she’d led us into what appeared to be some kind of industrial kitchen.

“I know you are, and I truly believe that,” Melissa said with a smile, walking to the wall and flipping a switch. The kitchen was immediately bathed in fluorescent light, the steel surfaces were clean, and the left wall appeared to be a serving line cut off from the rest of the building by a shuttered door. “Which is why I’ve asked you to come here today.”

“Uh we came here to get the key,” Aleah said. “So we could find Audrey. We need her, to convince Panhellenic to get off our case.”

“Of course you do!” Melissa nodded, smiling brightly. “And I know you really, truly have her best interest at heart, but you know….Leina here needs some more convincing. She really needs to see you in action as a sorority.”

“What the fuck is going on?” I demanded. “Just give us the key-“

“Not so fast,” Melissa held her hand up and shook her head in our direction. “There’s someone I really want you to meet. Ms. Evans, are you back there?”

“One second!” A voice called out from further back in the building. A few moments later a middle-aged woman appeared, long-ish blonde hair, wrinkled features, and a pantsuit that looked as if it came right out of the 90’s.

“Oh, I’m so glad you girls decided to come!” Ms. Evans said excitedly. “When Melissa told me that Gamma Alpha Tau had volunteered to run the food kitchen this week I could hardly believe it, we’ve been so short staffed lately, it really is a godsend.”

“Run…the kitchen?” My eyes widened, I could swear I heard maniacal snickering coming from Leina who was positioned directly behind me, right beside Kari.

“Of course, silly, don’t you remember?” Melissa laughed. “You volunteered to feed the homeless today! There’s a huge sign out front, and behind that shutter? Well, there are a ton of underprivileged people just waiting to be fed. Don’t worry, the food is all prepared, you just have to serve it…and do the dishes, obviously, they aren’t going to do themselves.”

“Wait-“ Aleah started, but Melissa wagged a finger.

“You want to find Audrey, today, right? What are the chances of you pulling it off yourself, right now? Have you EVER gone out of your way to find her, physically, in the real world? I have, and let me tell you, it’s a nightmare. Besides, all of the nice people are out there just waiting for you to feed them! You wouldn’t want them to go off and spread the word that GAT abandoned their philanthropy project, would you? You guys LOVE doing philanthropy after all, don’t you? I’ve seen you doing so much of it around town.”

Well that was a fucked up sentiment if I’d eve heard one. The truth was that we hadn’t done any of our philanthropy projects in months. Philanthropy, roughly translated, was charitable works. We just hadn’t had time to volunteer at schools, or freeway cleanups, or even soup kitchens, so we’d spent an ungodly amount of time faking the paperwork and forging signatures. I didn’t know for sure if Brittny was aware of that, but the smug grin on her face was telling. Did Leina know? Had Leina told her? What the hell was going on?

“We have to doooo it!” Kari said, dancing to the front with a stupid grin on her face. She looked like a deranged barbie, passing so well that no one would have ever known she was trans if it wasn’t common knowledge already. “This combines all of my favorite things! Food, people, charity, blackmail, and industrial kitchens!”

“Wow, that’s really specific,” I blinked.

“I really, truly appreciate you girls volunteering,” Ms. Evans smiled again. “We’re serving from four to eight PM, I hope you’re ready to work hard!”

I turned and threw a glare to Leina who stood beside me, grinning widely.

“Dance GAT girl, Dance.”