Woodcrest University Radio Broadcast September 8 2018

Garron: “Hey-“

 
“We like to think of our heroes as immortal, flawless, incapable of doing wrong,” Mr. Stenson said as he paced back and forth in front of the whiteboard, endless arrays of notes scribbled across in blue, green, black and red. An uncapped felt-tipped marker was still clutched in his hand; he wasn’t done yet. “The truth is that our heroes are often very flawed, they have problems, some far larger than yours or mine. Take Oedipus for example, there’s a whole disorder based on a few stupid mistakes he made.”

There was an audible snickering throughout the classroom, Mr. Stenson held his hand up, indicating that we needed to cut out. The snickering ceased gradually, and the lesson continued.

“Besides the obvious, can anyone tell me what Oedipus did wrong? What was one of his biggest mistakes, yes Ms. Green?”

“He didn’t listen,” Penelope, a girl with frizzy hair, wearing a blue plaid jumper said. I surveyed her carefully from the back, watching the way she spoke, the way she sat, the way she placed her hands on her desk. I needed to know all of these things, the basics of being a woman. “But he’s a man, so,”

More snickering.

“That aside,” Mr. Stenson said, folding his hands as he addressed the lecture hall. “This weekend I have a special project for you, and it’s going to require more than one mind, so to speak. You’re all going to take a look at Homer’s ‘The Odyssey’ and I want you to find one major thing that Odysseus could have done better. It can be anything, there’s a lot of material to work with. Now, for the fun part. I’ve paired you up with one other student in the class, and you’ll need to work with them to create two opposing viewpoints for the flaw you find. Stretch those creative muscles, ladies and gentlemen!”

There was an audible groan throughout the classroom; to be honest, no one liked group assignments. Most people in this class really liked working alone but hey, what could you do? Mr. Stenson ignored the wave of groans and picked up a clipboard, explaining that the pairings. After a few names, he finally came to mine.

“Todd you will be with…Mr…uh…” He pause for a moment as he stared at the paper as if he were trying to make sense of it. I suddenly had to wonder if he’d been tweaking the night before or something. “Oh, yeah, here we go. You’re with Mr. Jones, Mike Jones, there we go.”

My heart didn’t actually stop in that moment, that would be too much of a cliché. Instead if stood up, walked out of my chest, and took a midnight train over to Louisville. I slowly looked across the lecture hall to see Mike sitting one row above me, still wearing that stupid letter jacket of his. He gave me a quick nod and I immediately returned my attention to the front, trying to resist the urge to glare at Mr. Stenson. There was nothing to say, it’s not like he knew what had been going on. He had no idea, this had been entirely random. After I finished pushing my heart back inside my chest cavity I waited for the time to run out and the class to be dismissed, which it was. I immediately stood from my desk, grabbing my belongings and making my way across the room, toward Mike. I didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t want to be near him. I can’t TELL you how much I didn’t want to. This was a great way to end up as a stain on the floor, or crucified on the lawn of the GAT house if he was feeling creative and diabolical.

“Hey uh…Mike,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. I don’t know why I was afraid of him, it’s not like we weren’t in a room full of people.

“Todd, what’s up!” He suddenly held his hand out, elbow angled up. For a moment I thought he was going to hit me, but then I realized, it was just some kind of handshake. I compliantly took it and let him shake my hand.

“So…we’re…paired up for the assignment,” I said. “Here’s the thing…I can do it myself. I can write both viewpoints, I can come up with it in like ten minutes if you want. We don’t have to work together.”

“The hell you talking about?” He looked at me, almost in a friendly way, but it still felt as if he wanted to tear my thyroid and feed it to a bear. “We’ll work on it together, man, no one’s gonna say I didn’t do my part.”

“Um…are you sure?” I asked apprehensively. “The Odyssey is…really um…have you read it?”

“There’s a movie, right?” He asked. “I think we can get it on Amazon or something, right?”

“I think the text is a little different,” I said, trying my best not to sound condescending.

“Okay, how about this,” He said, leaning up against his desk. “You come over tomorrow, we throw back a few 40’s and you can explain it to me. I’ll have Olivia cook up some wings, we’ll have a great time, we’ll get the papers done, and everyone can be happy, sounds good, right? Right. Stop by tomorrow, dorm 215 in the Waverly wing!”

“Oh…alright, I’ll um…see you there,” I said as he gathered up his backpack and exited the room. What the hell just happened? I tried to shrug it off and walked out of the room. It would probably be best to not tell Tiffany or Aleah about that one.

Outside the room the halls were busy with foot traffic, students trying to make it to their next class. I wasn’t really in a hurry, I was kind of in a daze. My next class was algebra, a required course, but not only was I not interested in math, I suddenly didn’t want to be in the school at all.

“Hey!” A cheerful voice called out from down the hall. I turned to see Sakiya and Kari standing there. Kari was a trans girl, or so I was told; she looked completely female, I couldn’t even tell the difference. “Au…Todd, how have you been?

“I’m okay,” I said to Sakiya. “You know just…going to class and…playing games when I can.

“Okay,” She nodded. “Well, did you make an appointment with the therapist I mentioned?”

“I…called, yeah,” I nodded. She frowned.

“Really? Because I talked to her yesterday and she said she hasn’t seen you.”

Busted.

“You need help,” Kari said adamantly. “Look, we don’t know everything that’s happened to you because you’re so damned tight lipped about it but I can kinda fill in the blanks. I can tell you’re hurting, you have to do something.”

“I’ll drive you there myself if I have to,” Sakiya said to me. “Make an appointment, call today.”

“Okay,okay, I will,” I promised.

“Will you?” Sakiya raised an eyebrow, Kari folded her arms. They weren’t going to let up on this.

“Yes, I will, I promise,” I assured her. She looked at me suspiciously and then shrugged.

“I’ll be checking up on you. Oh, next week Tri Pi and Omega are having their mixer, it’s scifi themed, whatever that means. Are you coming?”

“We’re doing a Star Trek theme,” Kari filled me in. “We’re going to turn the Omega living room into the bridge of the enterprise.”

“Uh…going to fill it with green women?” I joked.

“Why, are you coming as captain kirk?”

“I feel more like a nurse chapel,” I joked.

“I’m completely lost here,” Sakiya frowned, looking between me and her. “Whatever, you just make sure you call the therapist, or there’ll be consequences.”

“What kind of consequences?” I asked kind of playfully.

“The kind where I drive you to your appointment and sit there in the waiting room with you,” Kari was annoyed. “I don’t mean to sound like a GAT girl, but do what you’re told.”

The conversation finally ended and they went on their way, thank god. I don’t know how much more of that I could have put up with. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I pushed my way down the hall. I saw Tiffany, standing next to a bulletin board and reading something but I didn’t bother to find out what; I simply ducked my head and rushed past, out of the building. Should I make that stupid appointment? I didn’t need therapy, I felt fine. As I was considering it, and chewing over the idea in my head, my phone rang. That was weird, no one ever called my phone. Who calls when you can text? I fumbled around in my pocket a bit before finally getting a grip on it and sliding it out of my pocket. Just as I turned it over to look at the caller ID, someone slammed into me, nearly knocking it out of my hand.

“Hey, watch it, cum stain!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

“Stop standing in the road cock muffin!” The guy yelled back. I growled and looked back at the phone, then my heart stopped. I stared at it for a full ten seconds before finally sliding the ‘answer’ button over and holding it to my hear.

“Hi Mom.”