“Angela, Angela stop!” I gasped, gently pushing her off of me. “What are you doing?!”

“I…I thought-“ She started to say, but Brianna appeared in the doorway, a bath towel folded around her head and a look of concern painted on her face.

“Is everything okay?” She asked.

“Uh…yeah,” I said. “Everything is uh…fine…”

Brianna looked from me, to Angela, and then back. She frowned a bit and then shrugged.

“Alright well, I’m going to go start dinner…” She looked at both of us, her eyes wandering between, then turned toward the stairs. I waited until I heard her feet on the stairs and then turned to Angela.

“Are you kidding me?” I demanded. Her face was red, I swear she was about to cry. Okay, maybe I needed to let up a little.

“I’m…I’m really sorry…” She kind of mumbled. “I just…you know,”

“Alright, jeez,” I sighed. “Just don’t do it again, okay?”

She nodded and stared at the floor. Downstairs, in the kitchen I could hear Brianna listening to C-Span, boring stuff as usual, but I kind of tuned in for a second, maybe just to get away from the super awkward situation that was developing right in front of me.

“Overall,” A disembodied voice from the downstairs TV said. “I think that Mr. Garron’s actions at Woodcrest alone should have disqualified him from any political role, let alone Congress.”

“Ms. Grey I think it’s safe to assume that the Congressman’s actions were only in the best interests of a clearly, mentally disturbed demograph—”

I tuned it out again, politics weren’t really my thing.

“So…Angela…can you..tell me about yourself? Why don’t you like…sit down on the bed…or something?”

She bit her lower lip and timidly approached the bed in the center of the room. Taking a seat, I watched her facial expression take on a bit of alarm as the frame creaked beneath her. I cautiously crossed the room and took a seat beside her. She was in ‘boy mode’, but you could still fee the feminine energy radiating from her. This was a girl, through and through.

“There’s really…not much to tell,” She said apologetically as she clasped her hands in front of her, keeping them tightly against her lap. “I’ve spent so much…time at that camp. I guess there were things I liked before but now I just…I don’t know. I’m trying to remember what I like, what I don’t like. I think I need to relearn myself.”

I tried to think about that, tried to imagine it. What would it be like if everything you ever were and everything you dreamed that you could be was just stripped away overnight? What if you were told that who you were was wrong and you had to change? Moments like these were so weird for me because they made me remember how lucky I’d been with my mom, and my sister who accepted me without question, after a little bit of a well-deserved lecture.

“I’m sorry,” She said suddenly. I jerked my head upward and looked at her.

“For what?” I furrowed my brow curiously. What could she possibly be sorry for?

“For…talking too much,” She said quietly. “I know I do it a lot.”

“Uh…no Angela,” I said, shaking my head. “I was just sitting here thinking is all, you weren’t talking to much. You weren’t talking that much at all, why would you think that? Okay, never mind. Tell me what you liked before all…this. What were you into?”

“Well I guess I was like any normal gu…gi…guy. I liked music-“

“What kind of music?”

“Um…I…I don’t remember?” She seemed flustered. “I haven’t really listened for…a while and I mean I remember this one song, I guess I remember the words, but I don’t remember what it was called.”

“What were the words? Maybe I can help you find it.” How on earth could she not remember what kind of music she liked? How bad had Chippenwood been? She was quiet for along moment, trying to remember the words to the song, whatever it was.

“It…I think it went like…’If you find the courage within you to face the path ahead, it matters not the outcome, if what you will gain instead, is a heart deepened in the knowing, that experience carves the soul, and the very thing that empties you, shall surely make you whole,” She recited the lyrics and then paused at the end as if she were desperately trying to remember more.

“Wow…”I said, taking a breath and blinking. “That’s um…that’s fucking…dark.”

“It’s what kept me alive,” She shrugged. “It was one of the few things I was able to hold on to really. I just…”

Again, I found myself struggling to understand what that felt like. How the hell was I supposed to help her with anything when I couldn’t relate to her? I was so far out of my depth I couldn’t even see the edge of the pool anymore.

“Hey!” Brianna called out from the door. “I made—”

“Chicken?” Angela said excitedly.

“What? No, what is it with college students and chicken?” She demanded. I felt like we’d had this conversation before.

“I’m not a college student,” Angela shrugged.

“Not yet,” Brianna pointed out. “But there are financial aid programs, unless you had something you’d rather be doing?”

Angela didn’t give a response but for some reason I felt like she was afraid to. I was comfortable talking and joking around my sister, and with the AP girls, but she felt so…cut off. It was like she was afraid to be herself. I don’t mean afraid as in afraid to be a girl, I mean afraid as in…to do anything. To talk, to enjoy life. It was like everything that was fun or enjoyable about her had been subdued. I really need to talk to Brianna. Alone.

“Well, let’s go eat,” I said, standing up from the bed and stretching. “I’m starving, what ARE we having anyway?”

“We,” Brianna said as she led us down the hallway and to the stairs. “Are having ramen. Good ramen. Not the kind you get out of the package. Actual ramen, I made the noodles this morning. You’re going to like it, or I’m going to yell at you, got it?”

“You’ve got it,” I smirked as we followed her down the stairs. It’s not like she had to convince me anyway, her ramen was always amazing. We passed into the kitchen where the table was not only set, the metal ramen bowls were already filled and at their places. This was kind of a thing with Brianna; she loved to cool, and she wanted to plate everything a certain way. Her ramen always contained pork, a hard boiled egg, and vegetables. She loved fresh vegetables.

“So what did you guys talk about?” She asked me as we took a seat at the table.

“You know,” I said with a slight grin. “Girl stuff.”

“Well, maybe we should talk about what we’re going to do,” She said, almost lecturing. “I have a lot of resources that Remy and the rest of AP doesn’t, so finding a shelter by tomorrow shouldn’t be a problem. Um, so what else, oh, yeah, we can get you enrolled in school if you want, under any name you want, obviously.”

“Yeah, you could totally be a girl,” I said happily. “It’s totally fine here, and accepted.”

“I don’t know,” Angela said quietly. “I want to but I don’t want to…I don’t know.”

“It would be fine!” I coaxed. “I was nervous about it too but I came out eventually-“

“You didn’t really come out,” Brianna pointed out. “You made a fool out of yourself and just transitioned to save face. So Angela, how did you hear about Allison? What made you come here?”

“I heard about her on the news,” Angela said, once again avoiding eye contact and sort of just staring at her plate. “I just…I thought maybe if she could do it…I could and…I needed help.”

“Well sweetie,” Brianna nodded. “Allison here is a little rough around the edges but you came to the right place. We can all help you, and you know, if you do ever decide to go full time as a girl, you could always do what Allison did, join a sorority, have sisters to support you, it’s not an opportunity everyone gets, but with AP here on campus you have a better chance.”

“I—” Angela started to respond but we were suddenly and rather rudely interrupted by a thunderous knock at the front door.

“Holy crap,” I said, setting my chopsticks down and wiping my mouth. “Who knocks like that?”

“Jehova’s Witnesses, probably,” Brianna rolled her eyes and did the same, standing up from the table. Curious, I stood as well and followed her through the living room and to the front door.

“I look presentable, right?” I asked her, only half joking.

“Hmm,” She said, suddenly spinning around and looking me over. She placed a finger to her chin and squinted a little. “You look like a college girl that was just eating ramen. We’ll have to talk about your clichés later tonight.”

“Very funny,” I grinned a little, she rolled her eyes before spinning around to answer the door. With two clicks she opened the deadbolt and turned the handle, pulling it aside and reveling two uniformed police officers. Wow, it was like déjà vu from earlier today.

“Good evening, Ma’am,” One of them said as he stood in the door looking as intimidating as humanly possible. “We’re sorry to bother you this late at night, but we’re here looking for a man by the name of Tyler Achles and we have it on good authority that he should be in this house. Do you mind if we come in?”