Thar Be Th' Bleedin' LYRICS!

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Talk Like A Pirate Day
words and music by Tom Smith

Most days are like all of the others,
Go to work, come back home, watch TV,
But, brother, if I had me druthers,
I'd chuck it and head out to sea,

For I dream of the skull and the crossbones,
I dream of the great day to come,
When I dump the mundane for the Old Spanish Main
And trade me computer for rum! ARRR!

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
When laptops are benches God gave us fer wenches,
And a sail ain't a low price ta pay!
When timbers are shivered and lillies are livered
And every last buckle is swashed,
We'll abandon our cars for a shipfull of ARRRs
And pound back the grog till we're sloshed! Yo ho....
Don't pick up yer phone and say "Hello,
Our ten-o-clock meeting's delayed",
Ye scrunch up yer face and ye bellow,
"AVAST! Ye've been bleedin' BELAYED!"

Ye can't keep this fun to yerself, I bet,
So sing "Aye!" "ARRR!" "Ayy!" every man!
We ain't got much grasp of the alphabet,
But a damn good retirement plan!

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
Whatever's in fashion is in for a thrashin'
And bein' polite is passe!
When it's ev'ry man's duty to grab his proud beauty
And let out a hearty YO HO!
And if this offends you, hold y'r breath as we sends you
Ta Davy Jones' Locker ya go! Yo ho....
We'll tell every banker "Heave to and weigh anchor!"
Buy latte with pieces of eight
We'll fight to be chosen as cap'n or bosun
The loser, o' course, is worst mate!

When we hoist Jolly Roger, the landlubbers dodge 'er,
We fill 'em with loathing and fear,
We'll plunder and pillage each city and village,
Or at least clean out Wal-Mart of beer!

There ain't no computin' or morning commutin',
No "Parking Lot Full" signs for me,
No lawns ta be mowin' or bills to be owin',
I'm knowin' the pull of the sea.

The fresh salty brace of the wind on my face
Through hurricane, sunshine or squalls,
I'm keepin' my eyes on the distant horizon,
Verizon can hold all my calls!

To wear a red coat full o' buckles,
To earn a few duelling scars,
Well, at least we can get a few chuckles
By filling the office with ARRRs!

And maybe we'll never get closer,
Than watchin' 'em on the big screen,
So here's to old Errol and Depp as Jack Sparrow,
And every damn one in between!

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
That time in September when sea dogs remember
That grown-ups still know how ta play!
When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy
And a soft-wear patch covers your eye,
Ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs
And buccaneers all till we die!
So hoist up the mainsils and shut down your brain cells,
They only would get in the way,
Avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party,
It's "Talk... Like... A Pirate" Day!

Comments

Aaarrrgh

And me still gotta wark 'aday. Aaarrgh, why dis not be an 'ficial holiday.

Garrrhh, pass me da rum

Aaarrgh, Jan

story challenge run aground

laika's picture

Arrrrrrr! Tis a sad tale. Earlier this month I wuz wantin' ter post me a story challenge here, commemoratin' this most august of all holidays; the theme of which as ye probably ken would be PIRATES, seafarin' or interplanetary or even ones that be flyin' th' Jolly Roger off roamin' office buildings like what they had in that movie, any damn sort of pirates, the sole requirement (beyond thar bein' some sufficiently transgenderous element fer this here Port o' Call) bein' that an ARRRRR of any reasonable spelling be uttered at least once in the tale, and that they all be posted on the 19th, filling the main page with a cacophony of historically dubious piratespeak, of cannonades and parrotsquawks ......... But then, as I was commencing to post my story challenge some scallawag posted a challenge of her own, which wouldn't of deterred any worthy brigand of the open main; but then as I was goin' t' fetch some grog another challenge be posted; and the though o' thar bein' three concurrent story challenges running simultaneously and at the same time just seemed a mite excessive, even fer a rum old bird such as meself; And me challenge was deep sixed. And so, me buckos, ye got ONE YEAR until the 2009 TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY STORY CHALLENGE. Even a scurvy procrastinator oughta be able ter put somethin' together by then. I'll be remindin' ye some weeks before then...
~~~hugs (watch the hook!), Laika

.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.

Heh!

erin's picture

I'd been planning to post my All Souls Day Story Contest last week and held off for the same reason. Next week, okay? ARRRR!

Hugs,
Erin

(It's also my mom's birthday, which is why I never forget Talk Like a Pirate Day.)

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Yo ho ho

and a bottle of rum went to see the urologist who made me cough then shoved a finger up me bum scurvy bastard. Amy ---"May your pen never run out of ink and your brain out of ideas"